“I fell in love with my kidnapper…slowly and then all at once.” - Luxe

 

It felt like hours before they knew anything. Luxe was going out of her mind. Her skin itched with impatience. A doctor in green scrubs came to talk to the growing crowd, looking at the mass of them dauntingly he let everyone know Grinder was fine and resting after being treated for multiple contusions, fractured ribs, a transfusion and was now receiving antibiotics and fluids until his levels were back to normal and then he could be released.

Her lungs deflated with relief. He was okay.

They allowed visitors four at a time to go and see him. Of course, the bikers didn’t listen to that ruling. They all piled into the room at once.

Luxe hung back but found herself ushered in first by Rider.

The man in charge had already handled the cops when they’d been contacted by the hospital about Nathan’s injuries. She had no idea what he told the sheriff, other than they made no noise to want to interview her.

Just seeing him lying in the bed, alive, sent a ribbon of love twirling in her stomach and so much relief she could have passed out. He was alive. He was okay.

The heart that had never loved anyone in a romantic way before sped up, hammering inside her ribcage until she had to suck in a breath to calm down.

Love so powerful filled her.

She’d say hello, and sorry about a million times and then she’d leave his friends to take care of him, that was her plan.

Through the bodies of wide shoulders, loud voices and the smell of too much leather alongside the disinfectant of hospitals it was a miracle that she met Nathan’s eyes.

He saw her through everyone. The look, and the slight upturn of his mouth, like he was so damn pleased to see her, too, had the same effect of a hallucinogen screaming through her bloodstream.

Luxe had the overwhelming need to kick everyone out and curl up with her boyfriend and take care of every place that hurt him. She didn’t quite believe all the emotions she had locked up tight for him, even as they roared and tried to pitch her forward, pushing at shoulders and hard men, to get at her own, to cup his rough cheeks and kiss his eyelids and to breathe his scent, only then when she felt his heat thumping under her palm would she accept it was over and he was going to be fine.

It was only the will of her grandmother running through her veins and sheer exhaustion and the strain of being out numbered that kept her rooted to the spot over by the door as men all flocked to do their manly bro thing with Nathan.

His voice, when it came out of his dry lips was rusty and paper thin. “Boys, gimme a minute with my girl.” Luxe’s empty stomach flexed, sloshing the acid in there around like it was on a rollercoaster. She never thought hearing that sound again would be the greatest noise of her life. Standing in that too small hospital room surrounded in big burly men Luxe closed her eyes for a second and inhaled, settling the nerves in her body, the roil of worry was still there but less now he was awake, he was talking, breathing … alive.

It had been so close to Nathan dying.

Too close.

The way his eyes never left hers. Sexual trappings that embroiled them all this time was just a short distance from the truth; they both held genuine, deep feelings for one another. His were right there for all to see.

Her heart went nuts. How was it a steady look from him had the same effect on her as a romantic gesture would of giving her the combination to a diamond safe, causing her to flush from the neck upwards.

The mere sight of him sparked a chain reaction of the things he did to the inside of her—the stomach drop, her heart sped up, the butterflies. Ah, the butterflies. Amid the worry, that extraordinary reaction was still there, every time, as if she hadn't seen him in weeks and not hours.

It was Rider who moved first. Long brown hair tucked behind his ears, he moved around two other guys to clasp the hand the bedridden wounded one held out. “Good to have you back, brother.”

“Couldn’t miss being the best uncle, now could I? And Prez … thanks.”

Rider nodded and walked out.

Next was Snake who had been somber the whole time, he moved to the head of the bed, leaned down and fisted some of Grinder’s thick unruly hair.  He looked naked without his beanie hat, she wanted to find it and give him it back to make everything better, somehow. “Fucking jackass, stop trying to get dead.” There was no heat in his words, Luxe watched more exchanges with the men as they left one by one, there was more of them out in the waiting room, these men...brothers. Had all been worried about losing Grinder, none of them had moved an inch, even when hospital staff had tried to get them to leave.

When finally, it was only Luxe and Preacher left, she watched their exchange more closely. The bigger, wider man hunched over the bed so he could rest his forehead against Grinder’s, his words were too low for her to hear but she saw Grinder nod and clasp Preacher’s shoulder. A minute went by, the deep friendship between the pair more than evident she wondered if she should give them space, but then Preacher straightened, approached her.

She braced for harsher, deserved words. Preacher had only been looking out for his boy.

Instead his intense green eyes focused fully on her, his head hung a little.  An apology in the depths looking right at her, his face softer now.

And then he did something startling even after he’d left the room Luxe was speechless.

He reached out and cupped the side of her head. “Take care of our boy, darling.”

Then she was alone with his approval and with Nathan.

“Come here, love. These things have me harpooned to the bed. I need to hold you.” He gestured to the blood pressure tag on his finger, the oxygen pipe going to his nose and the drip by the side of the bed pumping regular fluids and medicine into him.

Water swam in her eyes finally allowing the tears to fall. “Come here, don’t cry, baby, I’m alright.”

For a realistic, logical person, Luxe was running on pure emotional fumes when she staggered over to the bed and gripped Nathan’s hand, unaware she was crying until she laid her cheek on his and felt the wetness, it opened the floodgates and out they poured.

Arms came around her. Held her tightly. “How are you feeling?” she asked into his chest.

“Better now for seeing you. Hey, now, you’ll make me start, let me wipe those tears, I’m okay, love.”

When she rose her head, eyes blazed now the worry was lessened. “I should punch you for sending me away. And for making me promise to tell Rider to leave you there.”

He laughed and she wanted to cry all over again when he winced. “Maybe you could stand on the oxygen pipe instead of punching me?” he offered like the sweet man she knew him to be. He appeared tired, fatigue weighing heavy on the one eye he could blink.

He was so battered and bruised, every part of skin she could see was purple.

Her heart did an acrobatic flip it hadn’t done in ...ever, his taped fingers played with hers, stroking down her thumb, across her forefinger. God. She really was in love with him.

Really, really in love.

“They got me in this damn dress-gown-thing, I look fucking ridiculous,” despite his condition his scowl made her chuckle. “Help me out of it?”

She soothed his brow. “Maybe keep it on for a while, okay?” keep him warm. Take care of her man. It was a thunder inside her heart.

Emotion got busy in her throat so she buried her face in his neck and did some silent thanking again that he was here with her.

 

******

 

An ordinate of silence later, when he allowed his girl to burrow into his skin without getting into the bed with him, and he really wanted her there, but first he had to know. "Tell me they didn't hurt you." He croaked, hating the weakness in his voice. As soon as his body had enough fluids he was breaking out of this hard-as-nails bed, he wanted home and he wanted his girl more than he needed to lie there like limp fucking lettuce unable to protect the one thing he cared for.

"Nathan, shhh, I'm fine."

"Tell me. Please, Luxe. Don’t keep that shit from me. I don’t know how long they had you for. What they could have done. It's been driving me mad. I'll kill them all, I swear-----"

"It was less than an hour before they brought you. They didn't touch me, just threw me into an empty room and I had to wait."

"You swear it?"

" Sí. I promise. The room smelled like feet and I waited there until----" Until they’d brought him in. Until they’d beaten him enough into submission. "Imbecile men are so easy to distract with a pair of tits, they just stared at me a little and I told them to go fuck their moms." Grinder growled and buried his face in the tits in question, her fingers stroked into his hair, soothing his aching head. He was sore all over but the pain didn’t bother him so much when Luxe put her hands on him.  

Her hand crept up, one finger at a time, crawling up his chest, and curled around the back of his neck. Man, they felt so good.

“I was so scared,” she shared in a small voice, her face hidden in his shoulder. He hated all the fucking wires sticking out of his body when it meant he couldn’t hold her as he wanted to. Using his unhindered hand, he cupped the back of her head. “I thought I wouldn’t ever see you again.”

“My brave girl, scared? Nah. You’re the strongest woman I know, Luxe. Not seeing me again was never an option. Nothing can keep me from you now.”

“There speaks a kidnapper.” She chuckled, muffled by his arm.

Her hair smelled just as he remembered. It had only been hours yet felt like that scent hadn’t been in his nose for months. He breathed deeply, fingers flexing around her neck. His voice rough with emotion locking up his throat. “I fucking love you, Luxe. Love my dirty rotten thief so much. I should have told you sooner, I’ve been feeling it a lot longer and you wouldn’t have known had I…” he didn’t finish that sentence but they both knew he could have died so easily tonight and she wouldn’t have known what she meant to him. “I didn’t want to scare you off, cause I knew I’d chase you much further and who would have looked after the kids if I was fucking you all over the country, hm?” she laughed and stroked his neck.

“Babysitters. Nannies.”

He liked she was on board. “Baby, climb up here, I really need to hold you.”

Her eyes went to the machines. “I don’t think-----”

“Now, Luxe. Or I’ll get out of this bed.”

 

******

 

He loves me. It knocked around every surface in her head as she shrugged out of her the stained hoodie, tossing it over the chair. Filled with euphoria, she still scowled at him because he expected it. Look at him, battered to hell and still so handsome. “I’m only giving in because you’re beat the hell up and you look pitiful. Don’t get used to giving me orders, kidnapper.” He lay propped up against pillows, smugly watching while she climbed gingerly onto his bed and hoped like hell she didn’t jar his destroyed body. She needn’t have worried, soon as her knees touched the hospital bed Grinder pulled her down and into his side, sighing as his arm not attached to the drip came around her, tucking her in and gripped her hip. It was a tight uncomfortable fit yet perfect at the same time. He loves me.  

“Baby. Fuck. That feels good. I missed you.”

Luxe allowed her fingers to roam over his chest, wincing over every bruise and welt, she touched his beard, over his jaw and eyebrows, his poor eyes looked so painful. “Don’t stop.” He groaned. A red-hot fist formed beneath her belly button. Keep it in your pants, she warned herself, he was ill. No time to let lust back into the room now her worry had lessened.

“I’m so sorry, Nathan. I hate myself this happened to you,” her voice was small yet firm. His head came up, eyes opened, her hand cradled around his skull. “Stay still, you have a concussion, rest.”

“Stop that shit, you hear? This isn’t on you. You didn’t do this.”

“But-----”

“Fuck no, Luxe. I mean it.”

“Nathan…”

“Your man has a concussion, you don’t really want to argue with him right now, do you?” oh, that sneaky, smiling gorgeous bastard. So relieved to see him joking with her, smiling and feeling his hand stroking her hip she let it drop but for as long as she lived Luxe knew she’d never get over seeing him in this state all because of her own greed.

“I see that’s the card you’re going to play, is it? You’ve pretty much guaranteed blowjobs whenever you want them.”

“Yeah?” oh, how his smile lit her up and soothed some of the hurt inside. “I’m so fucking good with that. But now I want something else.”

“What can I get you?” she made to slide down off the bed and his surprisingly strong fingers on her hip stopped her. “Are you hungry?”

“You can give me the words.”

Oh. Dios. Her heart galloped and gave a silly little flutter of excitement. Luxe bit back her smile, heat prickling the surface of her skin.

She played dumb. “Qué?”

“You were going to tell me you loved me and I told you to save them until we were alone. We’re alone baby. You can give me them now.” Slick warmth entered his gaze, unwavering from hers, there was a fire in her belly and a ball of love. He was so sure of her that she smiled in return. His fingers started stroking her waist, up under her shirt he touched her skin and Luxe shivered, cradling the back of his head, she was within a nose distance of his, so close she saw the light in his gray eyes, smiling waiting.

“Will you rest if I give you them?”

Warm air chuffed against her nose. “Yes.”

“And they won’t over excite you? The nurse said you had to rest.”

“No. I’ll control myself.” His mouth quirked.

“You can’t get hard.”

“Too late. Just give me them. I want them, Luxe.”

She took in a big lungful of air. She’d told him already in Spanish, back in that building, it felt weeks ago now, her foggy brain was so tired. Resting her forehead to Nathan’s, her voice was surprisingly steady. “You know, there are moments … people. There are people who change you. Who save you, really, from yourself, from a life that didn’t feel right, kind of like you’re wearing the wrong socks and just don’t realize it. These people make you question everything, thoughts and feelings and ask yourself; do I want more? Yes. I do. You made me want more.” Gray eyes, bloodshot with his pain, penetrated down to her soul, she felt him there, soothing even as he lay a more subdued man than she was used to. Weak or not, she had a feeling Nathan would still handle shit if he had to.  Her kidnapper taking care of her in the way he knew how. “I love you, Nathan. Te quiero, mi secuestrador.” I love you, my kidnapper. That’s how she thought of him now. As hers and kidnapper was a term of endearment only they would understand. It meant she loved him beyond everything, even their shady beginning.

A great breeze of air left his chest and for a second she wondered if she’d said the wrong thing until his forehead comes to hers. “Never stop.”

“I won’t.” she swore. “I won’t.”

“You’re mine.”

“And you’re mine.”

He laughed a little, tangling a hand in her hair, speaking against her lips. “Fucking A. Had to chase my girl until she caught me. It was worth it, love. So fucking worth it. I love the fuck out of you.”

“I love you, Nathan.”

Was he aware of the beauty of his hands? She wondered as he greedily snatched her closer, brought her in as if he too couldn’t stand even an inch of distance between them, as though it had been weeks and not hours. She picked up a hand, so torn and red and kissed each knuckle.

Wicked hands that could rip pleasure out of her.

Strong hands that protected her.

Loving hands that worshiped.

These hands had stolen her in the beginning and then seduced her and after that, these hands she loved so dearly kept him alive.

Luxe kissed each finger in turn and found him grinning at her. “Do you need a minute, love?”

“I need a lot of minutes, kidnapper. I was thinking a lifetime of them,” his chest heaved. “If you’re agreeable to a deal between us.”

“Yes.” He gruffed deeply. “Fuck yeah.”

Luxe smiled and produced a long thin gold chain from her pocket. She saw the second he recognized it, his eyes flashed. “You thought I’d forgotten or was lying? I’ve had it this whole time and delayed giving it back, because.” He kissed her suddenly, his hand wrapped around the back of her nape, holding her steady. Those beautiful hands once again treating her with love and ownership. He had always been possessive. Always would be, probably, and she loved it. It felt kind of nice to own a kidnapper in return. To know Nathan would turn himself inside out to please her, oh, now that was just a wicked rush.

Love was their shared motivation.

His love was dazzling. She felt windswept most days, like she was walking around in a dream.

His love dazzled her.

She would make him happy. This was her new goal in life.

Not only to steal nice things and keep them for herself.

Happiness with a man who tracked and stole her heart.

“It doesn’t matter, love.”

“I thought, if I held onto it, it meant I would see you again and again.” There was his gorgeous smile. He took the chain from her and began fastening it around her neck. She protested. “But…it’s yours.”

“It was my mom’s, the only thing I had of hers. Not even sure why I kept it. But it brought you to me, didn’t it? I guess now I know why I kept it. Now it’s my girl’s.”

“Nathan…”

He grinned and kissed her lips. Sucked on the bottom one making her whimper when he let it go far too soon.  “Romance has nothing on me. I’m forgiven, right? We start fresh here and now. Just us, Luxe. I want you to move in.”

“I love you.” It was the easiest decision. “Yes.”  

“I love you, back,” another lip nip. “I fucking love you.” He sucked on her tongue, she chased his and did some of her own, their bodies pressed together so tightly she could feel the pound of his heart under her hand.

Every moment together leading up to this point had felt as though they were both shedding armor, trusting each other just that little bit more until they were wide open and accepting of a love neither had felt before.

Luxe smiled against Nathan’s lips, nuzzling the soft beard she cupped his cheeks.

“Put me inside you,” his voice rasped. “Put me inside my woman who loves me.”

Dammit, she laughed and the fog of love was broken. She arched a brow at him. “Behave.” he just gave her that wicked smile of his and gathered her in.

Sex could wait until she had him home.

For now, she basked in feeling his heavy, steady heartbeat under her ear.

She loved him. And he loved her.

 

******

 

Some beast-like love settled in his chest. Some caveman shit roared to the front wall of his heart. She was his. Fuck. If Grinder wasn’t weak as a damn kitten and harpooned to a hospital bed by wires and drips he would have hauled her across his lap and be fucked down deep to her stomach by now.

Happiness; that elusive drug coursed through him.

“I’m sorry for----” fingers on his sore lips stopped him.

"None of that. We don’t need it anymore. We can't go back and ask what if, Nathan. What if we'd done something different. What if I hadn't stolen from you and gone home with you instead, would we be a couple already with a solid foundation? What if you hadn't pursued me and turned into a chest beating caveman, would you be in love with someone else? Would I be in a relationship now with Patron from my old neighborhood who taught me how to fight?" Grinder scowled. Fucking Patron. Whatever she saw on his face made her smile because she leaned in and kissed him gently, he couldn't grab onto more before she pulled away and left her hand on his cheek. "We don't need those what ifs anymore. We have to remember sometimes the bad is anchored to the good so we can reach what we were meant to."

She was his woman.

Meant for him.

He knew this deep in his gut. Why else had he quietly obsessed about her every single day. She was here, embedded in his skin, no longer a separate entity, she was his heart and fucking murky soul.

He'd pulled some terrible shit to get her and likely would have that guilt of kidnapping her for a lifetime, but he'd use that time to show her in every way possible that he was a man who deserved her.

His thief was a damn miracle is what she was. To give him a second chance and not jail time, she was his miracle. A chance to have happiness in his life, to not walk through the days like his Pop missing the one woman who had destroyed him.

Grinder wouldn't fuck it up. Not again. He'd had his one strike.

Her mouth hovered close, yet they didn't kiss. Those eyes, fuck, those eyes of hers were his downfall, he'd do anything for her, this he knew. "I'm gonna fuck up sometimes." He voiced and found her smiling and her eyes rolled next.

" Sí. It’s a given. But now you have me, kidnapper, to set you straight."

Fuck. Had he mentioned he loved this girl? he connected their lips, a gentle brushing.

"I want you to move in, or we can get some place new, that's ours. Our world, Luxe. You're gonna let me take care of you, right?"

"Yes. And you'll let me take care of you."

Grinder smirked and nipped the tip of her perfect nose. "You can reach down and take care of me now, if you want to."

She slapped his arm gently, smiling. "You had to ruin the moment, didn't you?"

"Fuck. Luxe. I love you." He sighed and turned his head into her palm, kissing it once, twice.

He groaned against her lips. Nipped. “When you springing me from this place? Need to take you home, it’s been a month since I sank my cock inside you.”

Now it was her who moaned. Her body reacting to his dirty unfiltered thoughts. “It’s been a day and you’re staying right in this bed. You said you’d rest.”

They cuddled and shared whispered unused words between them. She tested them on her tongue and he found he liked the flash of possessive heat in her eyes the more she said it.

“You’ve given me everything I never knew I wanted, Luxe. How the fuck do I thank you for that?”

“From the way you’re looking at me, I think you just did.”

“Every part of me belongs to you, from forehead to dick. If you want it.”

Luxe chuckled. “Has anyone ever accused you of being a smooth romantic? That’s quite the offer. I would have taken the beard.”

“Not my enormous junk?” he smirked lecherously enough to make her chuckle, his chest over-pouring with love.

“I see that concussion didn’t dampen your ego.”

Those words, bigger than anything either have ever spoken before, bounced between them as if they’re the only words they can speak anymore. Fucks sake, he was happy.

Grinder moaned them.

Luxe begged them.

Inside feral kisses that tasted like forever.