Jonas wasn’t dancing.

The group had taken to call themselves The Pusher’s Club, but they weren’t a club, not really. They were a circle of friends, that started with Brock, Jonas, Julia and Alicia, and expanded fast when they all got to Stanford. Leigh had been one of the group’s new additions, and they all became inseparable pretty soon after Leigh hit Brock’s car.

And from the beginning, they spent every new year’s eve together, throwing parties in different houses every year. They or their families were mostly well off, so they had plenty of venues to choose from.

They always had fun, and they always danced with each other. Including Jonas.

But that new year’s eve, at Brock’s family chalet, Jonas didn’t dance.

Of course, he had also come alone, which was unusual. There was always a girl or two on his arms on every occasion. Some of them had even become serious. But this time, he had come alone, and despite being his best friend, Leigh had no clue why.

Conversely, Leigh was dancing more than usual, with anyone that was willing. She was also drinking a lot. But she was among friends, surrounded by the people she trusted more in the world, so she felt safe and just letting go, and making herself have a blast.

And she needed to. Yes, it had been almost two months since she and Matt had broken up, but she still wasn’t over him. She missed him at Thanksgiving, she missed him at Christmas, she was determined not to miss him at New Years. So Leigh came alone to the party, and went all out in having fun. Or as all out as she was comfortable with, anyway.

But she noticed that Jonas didn’t dance. Instead, he stuck to a corner of the room, nursing a drink and fiddling with his phone. So when Leigh needed a break from all the dancing, she grabbed a drink and walked over to him.

“Hey, handsome,” she slurred. “What’s that interesting on that phone of yours? Picking up chicks online?”

He smiled and patted the seat next to him. She took it, her butt landing harder than she intended.

“No, just answering emails, checking the news. The weather. Stuff.”

“The weather? Come on! Jonas, this is a party! Have fun!”

“Are you?”

She rose her glass in the air a bit too fast, causing a splash of wine to narrowly miss Jonas’ leg. If he noticed, he didn’t show it.

“Hell yeah!” she said. “What, you couldn’t tell?”

“I can tell you’re trying,” he said. Leigh expected more of an answer, but instead, he just looked at her, with his brown eyes, and that half smile of his that screamed at her ‘you’re not fooling me for a second’.

They stared at each other for long seconds, saying nothing, as Leigh felt her facade dissolve. She still didn't say anything. As she felt Jonas’ hand grab hers and squeeze it gently, she knew she didn’t have to.

“Are you okay?” he asked. Given how they met, she always smiled when he asked her that, and even under the current circumstances, she still smiled. A sad smile still counted.

“I’m trying to be. I really am. But it’s just… It still hurts, you know?”

“Is it helping? The drinking, the dancing, the random flirting which, I might add, is completely at odds with what I know of you?”

“I thought it was. I want it to. But I don’t think it is.”

Jonas poured himself another drink, and refilled her glass.

“How about we just keep each other company for the evening? Forget everything else?”

Leigh nodded.

They did spend the rest of the evening together, just talking, about everything and anything. Even when there seemed to be nothing to talk about, they just kept talking. Midnight came and went, a year left and the next arrived, and they barely noticed. Finally, Leigh was feeling better, if only for a moment.

It must’ve been almost four when she noticed they were the only ones left in the room. Everyone else had either left or retired to their bedrooms.

“We should prob’ly be goin’ too”, she said as she tried to get up. Somehow, they had ended up just lying next to each other on the floor, in front of the fireplace, and she couldn’t even remember how or when. She wondered if it was the booze or the fun’s fault.

His hand reached out to Leigh, and kept her in place.

“Wait,” Jonas said. “Can I ask you something?”

He didn’t sound the least bit drunk. How did he always pull that off?

“Haven’t you been asking me stuff all night, buddy?”

“No, but this is serious, and I’ve been wondering for a while. And you never told me, so…”

“Oh, God, here it comes…” She turned and sat, her back against the wall.

“Look, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to—”

“No, no. Go ahead. It’s fine. Ask away.”

“Alright. You and Matt. What happened?”

She sighed. It wasn’t easy saying it out loud, but this was Jonas asking. He was her best friend. She needed to tell him, if nothing else because she hadn’t told anyone else, and she needed to hear herself say it.

“He cheated on me.”

“What?”

“Yeah. Some bimbo he met at a party, with boobs twice the size of mine, and half the brain. At least that’s how I picture her, anyway. And not only once, either. He kept texting her and sleeping with her. And the stupid part is, he didn’t even know her name. He had her as Party Blonde on his phone, can you believe it?”

Jonas said nothing, but Leigh knew that look. He’d break Matt in half if he could get his hands on him. For a second, Leigh wished he would.

“I’m sorry, Leigh. That fucker didn’t deserve you anyway, he never did. I’m sorry he hurt you, but I’m glad you two are done.”

“Yeah, well… I’m not sure. I don’t know, maybe it was my fault, maybe it… Maybe I just wasn’t good enough for him, y’know?”

Jonas got up, kneeled in front of her, and softly touched her flushed cheek.

“Don’t say that. Never say that. Don’t even think it.”

Leigh smiled, and she felt her eyes well up. “I just, I don’t know how someone gets through something like that, you know? It’s like, trust is gone. Poof. Evaporated. How do you trust people again? How can you, even?”

“Now you’re just being silly. You trust us, don’t you? The Club?”

“Well, yeah…”

“Do you trust me?”

His brown eyes met hers. How could she not?

“Of course I do.”

“Then you don’t need to ‘trust people again’. You already do. You’re not broken, Leigh, you just had a tough break choosing someone to share your heart with. That’s all.”

“I don’t know.” She laughed suddenly, and enjoyed Jonas’ surprise. “Wanna hear the kicker?”

“Sure.”

“I asked him why he did it. You know what he said?”

“I couldn’t begin to imagine.”

“He said I’m terrible in bed. That I never satisfied him. He called me frigid, the fucker!”

Jonas actually laughed at that. “Somehow, I find that hard to believe.”

“Honestly? He just didn’t know how to fuck me.”

“Really?” Jonas asked. “And how would one go about doing that properly?”

“Oh, come on! I’m not gonna tell you!”

“Why not? No one else will ever know, I promise.”

“That’s not the point. It’s just… I can’t tell you.”

He paused for a second, enough for Leigh to glance his way. He looked… hurt, maybe? Disappointed? It was hard to tell, but he definitely wasn’t happy.

“What do you mean, you can’t tell me? I thought I was your best friend. And if you can’t trust me with it, who can you trust?”

Leigh sighed. Maybe it was the hurt she thought she had seen in his eyes. Maybe it was his eyes themselves, those deep brown eyes that seem to read her like a book regardless of what she does or doesn’t tell him. Or maybe, just maybe, it was the copious amounts of booze she had spent the night drinking. But she wanted to tell him. And she didn’t just want to tell him now. It was like she had always wanted to tell him, and yet she’d never noticed it before.

“Okay, fine. I’ll tell you. I’ll share with you the inner workings of my sexy self. But you have to promise you’ll never abuse that knowledge. It’s sacred knowledge, Jonas.”

He took two fingers to his heart and then his lips, kissing them and showing them to her.

“Scout’s honor.”

“You were never a boy scout! That’s not a real boy scout oath!”

“Well, the intent’s what matters, right?”

Leigh laughed. And then she told him. She only intended to tell him little things, small harmless fantasies and preferences. But the more she talked, the more comfortable she felt sharing this with him. It felt appropriate. It felt right.

And it felt hot as hell.

As she told him every single one of her fantasies, Leigh could see him getting turned on. Jonas tried to disguise it, but his hard on was getting more and more pronounced. Both the telling and the hard on were making her hornier by the second. And when she was done, she noticed that somehow they’d moved, and they weren’t sitting on the floor in front of each other anymore. They were lying on the floor again, right next to each other, as close as they could be without really touching.

“Wow,” he said when she was done. “That’s… That’s something.”

“I know, right? But it’s just fantasies, you know. It’s not like I’ll ever get to do any of this stuff.”

“Why not? It’s not like you’d harm anyone. You should do them.”

“Nah. I mean, suppose I do. What then? What else can I do then? What or who would be able to satisfy me after it’s all done?”

He laughed. “You’re overthinking this.”

“So? I’m drunk and horny and I’m entitled to overthink whatever I feel like.” She giggled, then stopped. He was staring at her. “What?”

“Horny?”

“…Yeah. So?”

“Nothing.”

She turned to the side, moving closer to him. Her boob rubbed against her torso. They both pretended not to notice.

“So now you know everything,” she said. “Will you honor that knowledge.”

“Oh yes,” he said, repeating the gesture of the fake oath. “The sacred rites are safe with me. I shall never abuse them.”

She shouldn’t do it. He was her best friend. There was no telling the damage it could do. But Leigh was horny, and drunk, and entitled. And definitely not in a mood to overthink things.

Her hand crawled towards the tent in his pants.

“You could abuse them just a little,” she said.

“Leigh…”

“Come on,” she said, caressing his cock. “Wanna show me how much attention you paid to what I told you?”

Jonas didn’t answer, but he didn’t move. It wasn’t until she started actually jerking him off that he let out a moan, and without a word, turned over and kissed her hard.

And proceeded to show her that not only had he paid very close attention, he knew it all by heart.