Chapter One
“See? I was still alive.”
CADEN
I took the steps down to the first floor of the house two at a time, determined to get whatever the fuck this was over with as soon as possible. “Can you tell me what the hell is going on now?” I snapped at my little brother, my frustration with the entire situation evident.
I had the women who had been responsible for my misery over the last too many months chained to the inside of my closet, just waiting for me to do filthy, unthinkable things to her. She was practically begging me for it at my fucking command and my little brother, having impeccable timing as always, had decided to interrupt us just as I was about to shove my huge cock inside of her tight virgin pussy.
Inside of my tight virgin pussy.
Luke turned to look at me, his green eyes serious. People told us all the time we looked exactly alike. Hell, the whole fucking town got us confused until I started controlling them with my temper and fists. I had never seen it, though. Luke may have been half as dead inside as me but there was no way my eyes were that soft, no way they had any kind of like left inside of them.
“Jesus fucking Crist, Luke,” I snapped. “Spit it out.”
“I thought we should handle it ourselves,” he mumbled to himself. “But Jason insisted that I come and get you.” He hesitated again, looking away from my gaze and letting out an exasperated sigh. “Before I say anything else, I want you to keep in mind that you just got released from prison less than 48 hours ago.”
“You don’t say?” I raised my eyebrows sarcastically. “Thanks for the history lesson, little bro, I’ll be sure to postmark that information for later.” I crossed my arms over my chest and waited. Luke may have grown in size over the years but he was still the same where it mattered. Always trying to protect me, always trying to help me control my anger when it mattered the most.
I knew he blamed himself for what had gone down that night, knew he thought if he had only been there he would have been able to stop me. The truth was a hell of a lot darker than that. I knew it wouldn’t have mattered, no one could have stopped me that night, and if the cops hadn’t of showed up when they did I wouldn’t have stopped until I killed that son of a bitch.
Luke didn’t want to hear that though.
He still wanted to believe that I had some good in me, the same as when we were kids. He still wanted to blame our mother for fucking me up so bad to the point of no return. He still wanted to blame my father for never being around. He still wanted to play the good brother, the one who believed in me when no one else did. He still wanted to believe I was capable of awakening something redeeming inside of my soul.
And he still took forever to get to the fucking point.
“Luke,” I seethed. “Use your words.”
He ignored my attitude and finally gave in. “Jesse is here.”
The annoyance in my body immediately surged into rage. “Where?”
Luke glanced toward the family room. “He said he comes in peace.”
I half laughed and started to move toward the large room. “Yeah, I put his little brother into a coma then serve next to no time for it and he just swings by to shoot the shit on my first night out?” I could feel my hands starting to open and fall in aggravation next to my body.
“Caden,” Luke warned from behind me. “We can take care of this.”
“No.”
“We can get him out of here, I already would have if it wasn’t for Jason.”
“Jason was right to have you come get me,” I called over my shoulder as he struggled to keep up with me. I knew my best friend wasn’t trying to undermine my brother or question his word, he just knew me well enough to know that if I found out Jesse had been there and no one had told me, I would have held it against the both of them. “I need to send a message.”
“You need to avoid going back to jail is what you need to do.”
I could barely hear him though, I had entered the family room by then, my eyes finding a member of the family I hated the most out of everyone in our sorry excuse for a town. Jesse leaned against the fireplace. A beer was in his hands as he kept his eyes locked onto the doorway. It was obvious he had been waiting for me.
Yeah, came in peace, my ass.
I wasted no time pushing my way through the crowd of people in front of me who had started to grow silent by then. Everyone knew exactly who Jesse was and they were waiting promptly for the show.
He made no effort of moving from his position as I neared him. “Caden, I heard you were home.” He took a sip of his beer casually but I could see the fire in his eyes. “Little early, isn’t it?”
“What can I say?” I smirked, taking another step toward him. “I guess the judge just didn’t think what I did was that serious. Probably looked at it as more of a service, getting a scum like your brother off the streets.”
The crowd around us gasped, whispers erupting from all over.
He lost his cool instantly, just like I knew he would, and pushed his body off the wall with force. “You sure talk a big game for a guy who spent the last six months locked in a cage taking it up the ass from other dudes.”
I grinned cockily. “That’s not what your mom was saying last night.”
I had pushed him over the edge, just like I intended, and he lunged at me.
Luke was there in a second but I held him off with one hand, Jesse was my problem, and no one was going to handle him for me. He had his arms around my neck within seconds and I made no effort to stop him, letting him enjoy the sensation of being able to choke me out for a few seconds. He was no match for my strength and I knew it but I enjoyed the way the pain made me feel. I had spent days and days feeling dead, being fueled by nothing but the thought of revenge and violence.
Being around Winter again, controlling her, was the first time I had felt alive in too many hours to count. The second I had seen her again, felt her trembling legs across my body, her heart racing in her chest… a part of me had been awoken that had fallen dead the night they locked me up. I could already feel the obsession starting to creep in, taking over that thin line of self-control I had managed to draw over the years. I had thought the thrill would stick with me but the second I left her house after touching her in her most intimidate places I had felt it slipping away again, leaving me more lost than ever.
Here, now, letting Jesse tighten his grip around my neck I could feel that excitement creeping back in. See? I was still alive. I wouldn’t be able to enjoy the sensation of practically being choked to death if I wasn’t. I could feel my senses starting to slip away slowly, my eyes almost ready to slip shut and give in. I had done this in jail too many times to count, picked fights over nothing just to get the shit kicked out of me. Then, just when they thought they had one, I would come back from the dead, destroying every ounce of them.
It was the ultimate game and the best kind of win.
I could make out people gasping around us and see Luke out of the corner of my eye, struggling to get to me as Jason held him back. Jason knew all about my twisted idea of fun. It was a place I hadn’t slipped into since the summer before my senior year of high school when something almost as dark as jail had pushed me over the edge. But we never talked about that night and I wasn’t sure we ever would, he knew me well enough not to push it.
I felt a smile tugging on my lips. My body was growing impatient, my strength begging to overpower the asshole in front of me. I clenched my knuckles open and closed next to my body, starting to warm them up. The trick was to wait until he was sure that he had won, until he thought there was no way for me to come back from the position he had me in.
My feet pushed back on my ankles in anticipation. My body was ready, gearing up to inflict pain. The same lungs that had been struggling to get air just moments before were getting a second wind now, rising up from the dead in excitement of watching the color slip away from another’s face. I took my time raising my hands to his arms, going so slowly that it took a second for him to even notice.
He wasn’t a small guy, just the opposite, not as defined as me but strong enough to make it a good fight. I had learned a long time ago how little size mattered, though. It didn’t matter how big you were if you were crazy enough. And me? Well, I was certified insane.
My grip found his triceps easily, squeezing firmly enough to send alarm shooting into his eyes as he gazed down at my fingers. He tried to move closer to me but it was too late, I was removing his hands from my neck quickly, barely choking as I twisted one of his arms behind his back and pushed his body onto the ground. And then I was on top of him, seeing red.
I wasn’t sure how long I had been punching him before Luke and Jason were pulling me off him, leaving him in a bloody pulp in the middle of my family room. He looked like a broken, twisted, pretzel. I wasn’t as far gone as the night I had been when I got arrested but I was still far past the limitations of normal. What was more startling was how little I cared.
“Now look what you’ve done to my carpet,” I spat down at him sarcastically, glancing at the huge pool of red liquid that was already starting to stain. “Didn’t your mother ever teach you to respect other people’s homes?”
Jesse grumbled something through pain.
“Fuck,” Luke groaned. “You’re going to end up back in jail.”
“No, I’m not,” I said loudly, barely feeling winded after the whole exchange. I ate pieces of shit like Jesse for breakfast; he hadn’t been a match for me, just like I knew he wouldn’t be. “This man came into my house, uninvited and attacked me, I was simply defending myself. And if the cops ask, everyone in this room will tell the same exact story.”
I leaned down, looking Jesse in the eyes as I placed my elbows on my knees. “If you ever come around me or anyone I care about again, talking shit, trying to prove something, I promise you that I will kill you.” I pushed even closer to him, whispering. “And then I’ll go and finish what I started with your piece of shit brother.” I pushed off my feet and swung around, storming back toward my bedroom. “Get him the fuck out of my house.”
I ignored Jason’s intense gaze and Luke’s disproving calls from behind me.
I wasn’t thinking about ending up back in jail. I wasn’t worried about what was going to happen to me if I was caught being violent or one of the other a million and ten things that would violate the terms of my probation. None of that shit mattered to me, the only thing that mattered was that I was home and I wasn’t going to walk around like some pussy that was willing to be disrespected.
Jesse had tested me so he had paid the price.
Just like anyone else who got in my way.
My body was all worked up, desperate to go back into that room and finish off that piece of shit. I needed to control myself, I needed a way to let out my aggression and I knew just the little pet I wanted to use for the job. She was currently tied up in my closet, waiting for me like a good girl.
She hated me almost as much as I hated her and I planned to keep it that way. If she ever found out the truth about the night I got taken to jail, the real reason I had gone after that loser, it would change everything. And that wasn’t something I could ever allow to happen, no matter how far I had to go to keep the truth from her.
Some skeletons were better left buried.