“There’s a town up ahead.” Jay pointed it out to his companion.
They’d been walking alongside the banks of the river for three days, following it upward until it became a stream and then disappeared altogether. Now they stood at the top of a rocky outcrop, looking down into the valley below where the lights of a small town twinkled and glittered in the dusk light.
“Yeah. So what?”
Jay had become used to Rain’s laconic answers. She kept everything to the minimum, barely bothering to check he was still following along. But he’d noticed a slight lessening in her shields and the guards she’d set against him, which suited him fine. She had no idea that his brand of telepathy had been designed to infiltrate the toughest of defenses.
He deliberately slept close to her at night, letting her see he wasn’t a threat, hoping that she’d ease her shields back just a fraction more because they were straining even his powers of concentration. What he hadn’t anticipated was the physical effect the rest of her would have on him…the sound of her breathing, the warmth of her body stretched out beside his. He’d forgotten there was an intimacy in sleeping next to someone.
She smelled good, like the frosted chocolate cake his mother used to bake for his birthdays. He didn’t remember the actual date of his birth anymore.
It didn’t bother him. His mother had ended up hating him, and he wasn’t the same person. He’d been reborn, reforged, whatever you wanted to call it. He shouldn’t be reacting to Rain because he had a job to do, but it was vital he kept her happy. He was known as a cold-blooded operative and needed to get a grip fast. He studied her. Would she be happy if he tried to seduce her?
He suspected she might shoot him with his own weapon. He would normally be the first to admire her self-sufficiency, but not right now when he needed some leverage over her.
“We could get a room.” With a grimace he shifted his backpack from one shoulder to the other. “I sure would like to sleep in a real bed for a change.”
“I’m not stopping you.” She started down the trail, her ponytail bobbing as she walked.
“If I can get us in, will you share it with me?”
“They won’t give me a room. We’re too close to Neveks. They all hate us around here.”
“Why? I don’t get it.”
She turned back to face him, her green eyes full of shadows. “Because some of my ancestors didn’t behave themselves too well and raided this area, subjugating people’s telepathic abilities and turning them into mindless slaves who could never escape Neveks.”
“Wow, what a sucky thing to do.”
“It all sucks, but that’s how it is. You learn to live with it, or you die.” She almost stumbled on the uneven, rocky surface, and Jay grabbed her arm. She raised her gaze from his fingers to his face.
“Careful.”
She scowled at him. “Let go of me. You move too damn fast sometimes.”
“I can’t help that.” He stayed close. “Look, let me at least try, okay? We’re both worn out after that rain and could do with a cleanup.”
He’d deliberately pushed her over the past two days, knowing she wouldn’t admit to fatigue, and feeling none himself.
She pushed her hair away from her face. “Okay. Just do what you want! I’ll hide outside, and you can let me know where I’m supposed to go.”
Rain leaned back against the wall and fought the temptation to fall asleep. She was used to hard physical work, but the pace Jay had set over the past couple of days had been blistering. She pictured his austere features and the powerful energy that emanated from his hard, muscular body. There was something wrong with him... He moved too fast, his mind was just strange, and he was being way too nice to her. Gods, she was so tired…
She contemplated the leaden skies and the steep rise out of the valley she’d have to get over to reach the Nevek territories beyond. She could just forget about her strange companion and move on.
Would he come after her? She suspected he might. He’d probably run her down with that relentless stride of his, toss her over his shoulder, and…
What would he do then? Tie her up?
She thought about him looming over her, his taut body and those strange hypnotic blue eyes focused solely on her…
Rain shivered. She was too damned tired to do much more than breathe. And in a weird way, being around someone whose thoughts she couldn’t access at will was remarkably soothing. His lack of contempt for her was also a balm after her years in the military.
“I’m getting soft,” Rain muttered to herself. “He’s definitely after something.”
But what if this was the last journey she ever took? The chance that the Queen of Neveks would have her killed was fairly high. Couldn’t she just enjoy sleeping in a bed occasionally? Not being hated? Being warm and safe?
What if he wanted to sleep with her?
She blinked hard at the unexpected thought. He’d never given any indication that he was attracted to her, but there was something going on between them. Some weird telepathic vibe that she didn’t know how to deal with because every relationship she’d ever had with a male had ended badly.
The door to the motel office opened, and Jay came out. He spotted her immediately and made a strange gesture with his thumb, which she took for a positive sign. Making sure that there was no one watching, she followed him around to the back of the building to a single block of rooms. He paused and then headed for the last one in the row.
By the time she reached him, he’d put the lights on and closed all the blinds. As she closed and locked the door behind her, the warmth engulfed her, making her shiver. Jay glanced over and raised his eyebrows.
“Why don’t you take the first shower?”
“Thanks, I will.”
Rain took her time, luxuriating in the plentiful hot water before wrapping herself in a towel and doing a bit of hand washing of essentials in the sink. It was so nice to be clean again. Putting on the fan, she went out into the main room, closing the door behind her.
“It’s all yours.”
He was standing by the desk, using some kind of tablet. His cold blue gaze swept over her, lingering on her body. She raised her chin and let him look, but it didn’t seem to faze him either way.
“I’ve ordered dinner.”
“Real food?”
His sudden smile surprised her, making her rethink his attractiveness, and then wonder why it mattered to her.
“Yes. If I’m still in the shower when it turns up, knock on the door and let me know, okay?”
“So you think it’s best if I stay hidden?”
“Not for my benefit, I assure you.”
He strolled toward her, and she tensed, suddenly aware that she was in the presence of a healthy male who was causing an intense physical reaction from her, which was unheard-of from a person from Neveks. By shedding her clothes had she revealed too much of herself? Was he telepathically projecting his interest or was she noticing it for the first time while they were shut up together in a small space?
Rain clutched at her towel, making sure it was still in place as he paused in front of her, his breath fanning her throat. Her stomach knotted, and she shivered.
“Here.” She blinked as he reached past her into the bathroom, grabbed a robe from the back of the door, and gave it to her. “Stay warm.”
She managed to nod as he shut the door behind him. She found her way to a chair. What the frek was going on? Sure, she’d become steadily more aware of him as a male as they’d traveled together, but she wasn’t supposed to be sexually aware of anyone except a fellow Nevek.
But Jay was different. He wasn’t even from her planet, so maybe the normal rules didn’t apply. She couldn’t even say whether she liked him or not, seeing as she’d made no effort to actually get to know him beyond the basics. He was calming to be with. He seemed to like her without being afraid, and that was so…refreshing.
She rubbed a hand across her eyes. She was so tired maybe she was imagining things. After all, what had he actually done? Looked her up and down like any male and been helpful by handing her a bathrobe. But that wasn’t all, was it?
He was dangerous. He wasn’t right. She would do well to remember that.
She padded over to the side of the bed farthest away from the door and sat on the edge, moaning with sheer pleasure at the softness of the mattress beneath her. Memories of her mother’s house and the scent of her baking made her close her eyes…
“Room Service!”
Rain jerked awake and ran over to the bathroom to knock on the door.
“He’s here.”
There was no answer, so she opened the door to a cloud of steam and waved a hand through it before stepping inside.
“Dinner’s here.” Rain went still as she registered that Jay was naked and still in the shower. Soapsuds ran down over his perfect abs as he washed his hair.
She swallowed hard as he suddenly looked right at her.
“Got it.”
Without even bothering to grab a towel, he sauntered past her, reversing their positions and gently closing the bathroom door in her face, which at least gave her time to breathe. What was going on with her? She would have to ditch him somehow and go on alone. This indecision—this craving to get up close and personal with a male she didn’t completely understand or trust—was insane.
Decision made, she leaned against the door and contemplated when to disappear. The lure of hot food and a bed for the night were hard to resist. Maybe she could leave early in the morning when both of them should be sleeping off their fatigue.
“You can come out now,” Jay called from the bedroom.
She made sure the bathrobe was secure and went into the other room. In her absence, Jay had pulled on a pair of boxers and a T-shirt, which made looking at him a lot easier.
He gestured at the table, which was covered in trays. “I got a selection of stuff. I didn’t know what you liked, but I noticed you don’t eat much meat.”
Rain sat down, her stomach rumbling as she tried to take in all the amazing aromas at once.
“Neveks don’t eat meat, and I never got to like the taste of it even after I left.” She reached for a napkin and spread it over her lap. “Do you like the food here? Is it different from where you come from?”
He was looking at her funny, probably not used to her actually asking him something. She was suddenly a bit ashamed of her attitude toward him. It wasn’t his fault that she was somehow attracted to him.
“It took some getting used to,” he acknowledged as he reached to uncover some of the dishes. “But I’m military. We ate a lot of prepackaged unidentifiable shit anyway. Probably blew out my taste buds years ago.”
She sighed as he handed her a plate filled with food. “That looks so good.”
“Here you go. Eat up.”
She didn’t need a second invitation and dug into the pile of fragrant lacheck and assorted steamed vegetables. They both ate quickly for a while, and then Jay slowed down, his attention fixed on her face.
“What’s up?” She paused to stare at him.
“You’re making this humming noise through your nose.”
“It means I’m happy, and the food is good.”
“Yeah?” He raised his eyebrows. “It sounds like you’re having sex.”
“Oh, I’m much louder when I’m having sex.”
He reached for more food. “I’d like to hear that.”
Rain went still. “Are you coming on to me?”
His smile was strained. “If you have to ask, I’m obviously out of practice. I haven’t had sex since we landed on this planet.”
“And how long ago was that?”
“Over a year ago.”
She gazed at him until he leaned over and used the tip of his finger to close her mouth. “It’s okay. There’s no need for you to say anything. From your stunned expression, I guess I’ve got my answer. I haven’t exactly been the best companion have I?”
Rain swallowed hard. “I thought that was my fault.”
He shrugged. “You have every right to protect yourself from a stranger—especially me. I’m not easy for you to read, and that must make you suspicious. And you know what? Having sex with you is a bad idea. I’m not sure why I even said that when we’ve got nothing in common, and we’re going our separate ways in a few days.” He wiped his mouth with his napkin. “How about you forget I mentioned it and enjoy your meal?”
“Are you trying to confuse me now?”
“No, I’m trying to stop acting like a colossal dick who allowed the sight of you moaning over a plate of food to override a decade-long instinct to keep out of trouble.” He shoved a hand through his hair. “I’m the ice man. I’m the closed-off guy, and you…just make me want things I don’t deserve.”
He rose to his feet. “I’m going to walk over to the office and check the local weather.”
“You can do that right here,” Rain pointed out.
“I know.” He gave her a brief smile as he stood up. “Keep eating. I’ll be back soon.”
Jay let himself out of the room and walked around to the side of the motel complex. What the fuck was wrong with him? He had a mission. The last thing he needed to do was get involved with that mission and risk her turning him in when she realized what he’d done—if he managed to do it. There was only one thing to do—check in with the boss.
“I’m in trouble.”
The voice of his commanding officer came back to him. “What’s up?”
“I want to have sexual relations with the female you asked me to follow into Neveks.”
“What the fuck?” Kaiden didn’t sound pleased. “There’s a reason I sent you and not one of the others. You’ve got the best shields and defenses, so how the hell is she getting to you? Is it deliberate? Is she onto you?”
“I don’t think she wants to be attracted to me either, but there it is.” Jay hesitated. “I’m trying to be honest here, Commander.”
“Then tie a knot in it until we’re sure she’s not involved, okay? Fuck her brains out after the mission is completed.”
“But what if our intelligence is correct, and she’s got no more idea than we do how she’s going to be received in Neveks? She’s the first person in years who’s been allowed back in there.”
“Captain Roberts, this is a life-or-death, save-the-whole-fucking-planet kind of gig we’ve got going here. There is too much to risk just for you to get laid.”
“I get that, sir.“ Jay took a deep breath. “In that case I think you’d better send someone else. I’ll just say goodbye to her tomorrow, pretend I’m taking another route, and you can take it from there.”
“There isn’t anyone else!” Kaiden snapped. “You know that. I need you to focus and get this done, okay?”
“I’ll do my best. Over and out.”
Jay glared down at his hard cock. It would be better if he got a separate room, but then the motel guy would wonder why one person needed so much space and would probably come and investigate. He squared his shoulders. Kaiden was right. The fate of Pavlovan might rest on what he discovered in Neveks. He couldn’t afford to mess up.
With that resolve firmly in his head, he turned back to the motel and decided to take a long, slow, wet walk around the perimeter.
There was no sign of Rain when he finally reentered the room. The dishes had been left outside the door, and all the leftover food was piled neatly onto two plates set on the table. She emerged from the bathroom, stopping when she saw him.
“Are you all right?”
He blinked at her. “I’m fine.”
The swirling colors of her skin intensified, which he had begun to realize meant she was embarrassed. She shoved her wet hair behind her ear. He hadn’t realized it was so long until she’d washed it.
“I didn’t mean to run you out of the room you paid for. If anyone should leave, it should be me.”
He leaned back against the door, fighting the stupid impulse to bridge the gap between them, take her in his arms and fuck her brains out. “It’s raining out there. We have two beds. Let’s just go to sleep, shall we? I promise you I’m too tired to try anything.”
“So am I.” Her smile was hesitant. “Okay. Let’s do that.”
Rain woke up to darkness and blinked hard. Her skin was on fire, and she was sweating like she was trekking through the heat of the jungle. She pushed her covers down to the end of the bed, sat up, and drank an entire glass of water. She never got sick, so what was happening?
“You okay?”
Jay’s voice reached her through the blackness.
“I’m just hot.”
“Do you want me to turn the air-conditioning on?”
“No, I’m sure I’ll be fine in a minute.”
She closed her eyes and concentrated hard, seeking out the problem within herself, but couldn’t identify the cause. It felt like she was burning up, and she couldn’t lie still. Had she caught some Earth virus from the human?
“I don’t get sick,” Jay said quietly.
She grimaced. If he could access her thoughts, she was really in a bad way with no energy to maintain her shields.
“Why don’t you get sick?” Rain tried to distract herself. “You’re just a mass of contradictions, aren’t you?”
“Yeah. I suppose I am.” He hesitated. “I’m a product of an experiment—a super-soldier project that ended up creating a breed of telepathic killers that scared the crap out of their creators.”
“Is that why you had to leave your planet?”
“If we hadn’t had left with your Goddess in Waiting, we would have been executed.”
“That’s terrible,” Rain said.
“We thought so, but we could also see the problems we had created.”
Rain breathed out slowly as her temperature lowered. “Because you were too dangerous to exist? That sounds like how most Pavlovans view the Neveks.”
“You were born like that. It’s hardly your fault, is it?” His voice hardened. “I volunteered because I was a cocky, overconfident idiot who wanted to be a hero.”
“But you didn’t know what you would become, what they would turn you into, did you?”
“They never tried to hide the fact that it was a risky experiment. I wanted to be superhuman. I wanted those enhanced abilities and telepathic powers.” He sighed. “But there is a price to pay for everything, right?”
“And what price was that?” Rain asked softly.
“Losing my family and my sense of self. Beginning to see myself as some kind of Godlike killing machine.”
Rain considered his harsh words. “I don’t get that from you at all.”
“Because you’re blocking me out. Trust me, if you let your shields down, you’d run away screaming.”
“I doubt it.” Rain shivered as a wave of sweat cooled on her skin, and drew the covers up again. “I’ve been in the military for years. I’ve experienced way too many of my fellow soldiers’ thoughts in combat to balk at anything.”
“I’m barely human anymore. I kill, and I move on.” His voice was implacable.
“So why are you visiting the Oracle? I got the impression you want to change something in your life?” Rain asked.
He was quiet for so long that she thought he’d drifted back to sleep.
“I want to know if there’s any hope for me.”
“Hope for what?”
“That I can somehow find a balance between what I’ve become and what I once was—a purpose that maybe doesn’t involve indiscriminate killing and no remorse.”
“Find the male within the warrior,” Rain mused. “That is a worthy quest.” She turned toward him in the darkness, her own problems temporarily forgotten. “I wish you well with your journey and your quest for balance, human.”
“Thank you. I wish you well with your journey, too.”
“Mine is slightly different.” For the first time ever Rain allowed herself to reveal the purpose of her journey. “I have been allowed back into Neveks to say goodbye to my mother who is dying.”
“Forgive my ignorance,” Jay said slowly. “But I thought you said that once you were expelled from Neveks, you could never go back.”
She didn’t remember telling him that, but she answered anyway. “You can’t. I was granted a special dispensation by the Queen Goddess.”
“Is she a connection of yours?”
Rain shivered. “No, I think she hates me. I suspect my life will end shortly after my mother’s.”
“Then why risk going back?”
“Because I haven’t seen my mother for ten years, and I want to say goodbye.”
“Would she want that?” Jay persisted. “Would she want your life to be forfeit for hers?”
“Because I returned to see her on her deathbed?” Rain smiled into the darkness. “She would consider it my fate and would accept it as she accepted my banishment. The Queen’s word is not only the law, but a spiritual edict that cannot be denied.”
“Fuck that.”
Rain blinked and sat up. “What did you say?”
“I said fuck her. Why should your life be subject to the whims of a Queen who prides herself on isolating her tribe from the rest of the planet?”
“It is to keep the bloodlines pure. Hers especially.” Rain was fairly certain that was why she’d been banished in the first place, but had no proof of the matter. No one had dared to contradict the Queen; even the one person she had assumed would speak up for her. “I was eighteen. I was hardly in a position to argue with the whole tribe.”
“And now?”
“What do you mean?”
“If the Queen orders your execution, will you go willingly or will you fight?”
Rain sank back onto her pillow and contemplated the ceiling. Thank the Goddess the horrible overheated sensation had receded, leaving her feeling wide-awake and hyperaware.
“It depends.”
“On what exactly?” Jay demanded.
“On what I find when I get there.”
Goodness, he sounded extremely angry on her behalf, which was something that had never happened to her before. Speaking to him in the darkness was proving remarkably easy. She’d never revealed so much about herself to any male before.
“If you’re convinced you’re going to die anyway, then why not take a few of them down with you?” Jay persisted.
He was all warrior now, his voice cold, emotion repressed.
“Because some of them are…my family.” She sighed. “You must think me weak.”
“Not at all. I am amazed that you can be so compassionate about a society that threw you out to fend for yourself at such a young age.”
“I hated what the Queen did for years.” Rain curled her fist into the blanket. “It ate at me, fueled my anger, and made me the soldier I am today. The suspicion and dislike of my fellow Pavlovan warriors was nothing compared to what I’d lost and endured from my own people. Eventually, most of them came to accept me as one of them, and that meant more to me than anything.”
“So you gave up your anger and now are going meekly home to be slaughtered.”
“Possibly,” she admitted it at last.
He snorted but didn’t say anything as it occurred to her that in less than a week she might no longer exist.
“I could come with you,” Jay suddenly said. “Guard your back. Get you out of there safely.”
Unexpected tears filled her eyes. Dammit, she never cried, and here she was about to lose it because a self-confessed callous killing machine was offering her his protection and help.
“I’m fast, and I’m impervious to Neveks mind tricks. We could be out of there the moment things got complicated.” Jay said.
“Thank you.” Rain just about managed to reply. “I cannot accept your kind offer, but I appreciate it more than you could ever know.” For the first time in her life she let down her telepathic shields with someone who wasn’t from Neveks.
Thank you.
After a tense moment, his guards relaxed, and their minds flowed together in harmony, soothing and completing each other in the most unexpected ways. She closed her eyes and just enjoyed the moment. The last time she’d had such an experience had been just before she left Neveks.
“I want you.” Her thought crystallized and poured into his receptive mind, gathered his immediate response, and came back to her.
“Yes.”
“I cannot promise more than this one night, but I would like to share it with you.”
His response was to leave his bed and come to hers, the mattress sinking as he settled beside her.
“Is this because you think you are going to die?”
“Yes.”
He leaned in and kissed her mouth, his touch so gentle it almost brought back her tears.
“I haven’t had sex since I arrived on Pavlovan.”
She smiled against his lips. “Then you probably are in need.”
He groaned and kissed her again, the tip of his tongue traveling the seam of her lips, seeking admittance, which she willingly gave to him. His kiss was a revelation—it was as if he already knew her, as if they were meant to fit together for all eternity.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” Jay murmured.
“You won’t.”
He framed her face with his callused hands, his fingers threaded through her hair, his pale blue eyes intent.
“I lied.”
“About what?” Rain went still.
His smile was crooked. “I actually stopped having sex back on Earth. I was afraid I might…damage someone—that because of my enhanced physical strength that in the blindness of climax I’d inadvertently hurt them.”
“Did you ever actually do that?”
“No.” He slowly exhaled. “But I came damn close.”
She reached up to cup his chin. “I trust you.”
“Then I will try to be worthy of you.” His mouth descended again, and this time he didn’t hold back; his kiss claimed her and ignited the long suppressed fires within her skin. While they kissed, his hands roamed over her body, learning her curves and secrets, making her strain against him in a wordless plea for more.
Grabbing his hand, she placed it between her legs, moaning as his fingers skimmed over her swollen, wet welcome and slid deep. She came almost immediately, and he groaned her name, doubling his presence within her, pushing her even higher.
He shoved his knee between hers, spreading her thighs wide so that he could settle between them, the hard ridge of his wet cock already pushing against her stomach.
“Please…” She dug her nails into his shoulders, urging him closer, bucking her hips to help him angle his cock right where she wanted it.
“Too…fast.” Jay groaned.
“No, just right.” She eased her heel up the side of his flank and planted it on the muscled cheek of his ass. “Now. Do it now.”
He reared back and then drove forward, filling her in one juddering, slick motion, her body clinging to his, giving way and welcoming him into her hot, wet core.
She started to come, and he went rigid, his teeth clenched, his jaw set as he fought his own climax until she stopped thinking, and he stopped fighting, and they came together in a scalding meld of mind and body that Rain had never imagined existed.
He collapsed over her, breathing hard, which amused her immensely. Wasn’t he supposed to be the superior physical being? With a soft sound, he rolled them both over onto their sides.
Rain lay beside Jay and breathed him in, enjoying their mingled sweat, the telepathic high they were currently sharing. She was reluctant to break such perfect harmony. She wasn’t supposed to feel like this about anyone who wasn’t from Neveks. Maybe the Queen had been right all along, and she wasn’t purebred.
“She cast you out because you weren’t pure enough?”
Jay’s question cut through her happy buzz.
“That’s what she said. I went for my confirmation ceremony at eighteen. She proclaimed the Goddess had spoken to her, and I was not worthy to have a Neveks mate or a life with those who were chosen.”
He kissed the top of her head and wrapped her in his arms. “That must have been devastating.”
“Yeah.”
“And yet you’re still intending to go back.”
“I have to see my mother.”
“Then I’m coming with you.”
She opened her eyes, stared right into his, and spoke out loud. “No. They’ll kill you.”
He shrugged. “They are going to kill you anyway, so we might as well go down together.”
“Jay…” She squeezed his shoulder. “Just because we’ve done this, doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice yourself for me.”
His mouth set in a hard line. “I have no intention of sacrificing either of us.”
She blew out an exasperated breath. “It’s easy to be terribly overconfident when you have no idea what facing the Queen Goddess is like.”
He bent his head and kissed her again. “How about we stop worrying about the future and focus on where we are now?”
“But—”
Her protest turned to a gasp as he licked his way down to her breasts and set his teeth on her nipple. His cock swelled inside her, and she allowed herself to get lost in the pleasure of his mind and his touch once again.