14

Mikkel

 

 

Mikkel put his hands on his hips and glowered at Louis. “You can’t be serious.”

But the old man was. He knew it like he knew he didn’t have an ounce of Lyken blood in his veins.

“It’s a full moon. We have to run tonight,” Louis retorted, stubborn as ever.

Mikkel grunted, irritated beyond belief. For fuck’s sake, the day he decided to finally fucking make a move on his woman, and it was a fucking full fucking moon.

And if he could have shoved more ‘fuckings’ in there, he totally would have.

Running a hand over his head, he cursed under his breath.

He really didn’t want to think it was a territorial move, but it was a territorial move that drove him to claim her. Maybe it was a dickish thing to do, but the sight of her in Rafe’s arms and touching Theo had driven him to distraction.

Truth was, that distraction had made him realize something.

While he’d been sat over in the corner with his thumb up his ass, all he’d been doing was avoiding the goddamn inevitable.

He felt her in his fucking bones. Felt her so deep inside his being that fighting it was more than just churlish, it made him a fucking idiot.

“What is it, boy?” Louis demanded, earning himself a grunt from Mikkel.

Jesus, he hated when Louis called him a boy. “I was going to claim Thalia tonight,” he retorted, deciding to go with the truth as he stomped from one side of the study to the other.

Having left Theo and Thalia alone to have a conversation they apparently needed to have privately, he’d decided to storm over to Louis’s office. Though she hadn’t said much, he’d heard her talking to Louis, here and there, about some human killings up in DC. With fuck all else to do, he’d figured now was as good a time as any to discuss that shit with the old TriAlpha.

If it involved humans, then it was his territory, and he deserved to be involved. Why Thalia hadn’t raised the subject herself was a testimony to how Theo’s arrival had messed with her head.

The past week had been a real mindfuck. Even he, well accustomed to living, fighting, and surviving in the worst war zones on the planet, was reeling from all the hits.

And it was just going to keep on coming; that he knew.

One punch after another.

They’d never stop.

Never, not while he was mated to Thalia. And maybe it made him a coward, because he knew that was one of the reasons why he’d maintained distance between them. Had chosen not to consummate the bond.

With Thalia, life would never be boring, but it would also never be peaceful.

At least, that was what he’d figured. Over these past few days, he’d slept with her. Had lain there in the silence as she slumbered, as she awoke. As she stayed quiet, snuggling into Rafe’s side and not his because he’d shoved a wall between them–like an asshole.

He let out another sigh.

“I wanted to claim her tonight,” he repeated, his voice strident.

Silence fell at his statement, then Louis grunted. “About time. Thought you were going to leave her hanging until the next Millennium.”

He scowled over at the man who had once led the National Pack, who held more power in his pinkie as a retiree, than most Generals did while on active duty. For all that, Mikkel was too accustomed to the man to bow and scrape.

“I had to think things through.”

“She’s your mate, what’s to think through?”

When it was phrased like that, he had to ask himself what the hell he’d been waiting for. Rafe had thrown the question to him several times before Theo had made an appearance in their lives and had totally fucked things up. As if Thalia didn’t have enough on her plate with one prophecy to answer to, now she had two.

Double the trouble or what?

“I’m human. I like being in human society.”

Louis snorted. “You’re not in human society.”

That had him scowling again. “What the fuck does that mean?” he demanded, turning to face the older man, so he could spotlight him in his anger.

Seated behind a wide plantation desk, Louis looked calmer than ever. His failure to react to his ire made Mikkel grit his teeth. “It means, your team . . . they’re all Lykens. They just don’t talk about it. They don’t know you’re a part of the pack—and neither did you. Until now.”

For a second, his throat closed, then he bit off, “I’m not part of any pack.”

Regret laced Louis’s features for a second. “I regret that. Sincerely.” He rubbed his jaw. “Makes me wonder . …” He shook his head before Mikkel could start to ask what the man wondered. “Your team is one hundred percent Lyken. You’ve been surrounded by supernaturals since you enlisted—I made sure of that.”

For a second, Mikkel wasn’t sure whether to be angrier or just plain confused. “I don’t understand,” he admitted, shaking his head in bewilderment.

“Sometimes, it behooves us to funnel Lykens into strategic teams in the human Armed Forces. I kept you in the dark because I knew you’d view it as some kind of nepotism, considering how quickly you soared through the ranks—a feat not engineered by me, I want to add—I knew that was a possibility anyway. But, considering the situations your team found itself in, I knew it was wise to take precautions. Having a team leader who knew what was what, I figured you wouldn’t be surprised if a man went down and shifted by accident.”

Mikkel, feeling like he had water plugging his ears, shook his head. “They never let on.”

“Why would they? I told you, they didn’t know you were aware of our culture, just like you don’t know what breed they are. It was a mutually beneficial arrangement.”

“But why? Why go to such lengths?”

For a second, Louis just stared at him, then he admitted on a sigh, “I don’t know why.”

Mikkel wanted to call bullshit on that but the older man seemed to be contemplating his answer as he frowned down at his desk and tapped his pen against the leather-padded surface. In the background, Mikkel could hear a clock ticking, and it echoed around the room—that was how silent it was.

Unlike the rest of the house, at least as far as he was aware, this seemed to be the only space that was in any way traditional. Everywhere else, more modern tastes had been embraced, but here, it was like being in a study in a stately home in the UK.

It suited Louis. He was old enough to probably have had that two hundred-year-old plantation desk since it was first built.

“I’ve always had a good feeling about you,” Louis murmured. “When I met you that first time, something clicked. You were young and foolish, of course. If memory serves, you were heading out to football training. Your stepfather told me how good a boy you were. How smart. Stephen is very proud of you.”

“I know he is,” Mikkel said, his tone thick with the truth of that.

“He always talks about you, probably more than he does his own blood,” Louis commented, his tone musing. “But I can understand. There’s something about you, Mikkel. I don’t know what, but in a country of soldiers, I chose you to spearhead my Alpha team. I had Lykens, unbelievably strong ones who could have headed it, but no. I picked you. I knew it would be in safe hands.”

“That’s why you figured I’d be able to keep Thalia safe—as her bodyguard, I mean.”

Louis nodded, slow and steady. “I did.” He whistled. “I couldn’t ask for a better man to be her mate, Mikkel. I’ve been meaning to talk to you, truth be told, about why you’ve been taking so long to claim her.”

Though he clenched his teeth for a second at the way he’d been maneuvered like a chess piece for years, over a decade to be precise, Mikkel blew out a sharp breath. “Wanted to get to know her.”

“BS.”

That his answer was rebutted, and so swiftly, had him narrowing his eyes in irritation at Louis. “It isn’t.”

“It is.” One third of the former TriAlpha quirked his lips up in a smile. “You’re frightened.”

Mikkel didn’t answer. His nostrils flared as he headed over to the windows that overlooked a small segment of the ocean. It was a bright blue, so bright it hurt his eyes, and the sun was gleaming like a shiny penny overhead. He wanted to be outside with his mate, Mikkel realized. Didn’t want to be stuck in here with her grandfather.

She’d been so brave these past few days, he realized, and he was proud of her, so immensely proud, in fact, that the need to praise her felt imperative. He hadn’t cut her any slack, either. In fact, he had made things harder on her, and she’d rolled with the punches better than Mohammed Ali on a night where he had to defend his heavyweight title.

Maybe because of her bravery, he could admit to his lack. His nod was tight, barely there, but it was there nonetheless.

“Why?” Louis asked, and his leather desk seat creaked as he got to his feet.

“I never wanted to be tied down.”

“Every man thinks that until the right woman comes along,” Louis retorted, tone dismissive, but Mikkel cut him a sharp glare.

“No. I never wanted it. My life was on the battlefield. I knew I’d die out there, and the last thing I wanted was to leave some grieving widow behind and some kids who’d grow up not knowing their daddy, who’d grow up in another man’s household, with the most they knew about their father being his service record and the flag the government bestowed on them when their daddy passed on.”

A hand settled on his shoulder. “I thought you liked Stephen.”

“I do. Of course I do. And he makes my mother happy, far happier than my own father could ever have. But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t affected by his passing and how it changed my life. Maybe he’d have been a terrible father, I don’t know. But it doesn’t matter. I never wanted to leave people behind, little people who should have been able to count on me until they were fully grown themselves.”

“It’s never easy to lose a parent. Doesn’t matter how old you are.”

Mikkel blinked at that, aware that Louis had lost his parents when Mikkel was a child. That might be thirty years ago, but to Lykens, three decades passed in a blink of an eye. And when one part of a mated Lyken pair died, the other passed on shortly after, too.

Or, in Louis’s parents’ case, all four had died within two months of the first brother’s death.

“No, I guess age is irrelevant, but that doesn’t take away my reasoning.”

“True.”

“I thought I’d live and die out there in the sandbox, fighting for freedom. I never expected to be pulled off duty to care for some spoiled princess.”

Louis snorted, unoffended. “Last thing Thalia is, is spoiled.”

“Now that is the truth.” She was the least spoiled female he’d ever known. She expected so little, it actually hurt him. She should expect the Earth, but she didn’t. “No, but I didn’t know that at the time I first spoke with you, did I?”

“No, but after meeting her, you must have sensed she was different?”

“Maybe. Most of all, I just sensed the chaos she was about to bring into my world.” He pressed his forehead to the cold glass of the window. “I’ve fucked this up.”

“Aye. But she’s loving. She’ll forgive you.”

He snorted at Louis’s matter-of-fact tone. “Good to know.”

“Are you still scared?”

“A little. I’m not going to be able to do much as her partner. Not while she’s intent on killing off the bad guys, leaving me to watch from the stands.”

“You have no idea how much work there is as a TriAlpha partner, Mikkel. Sitting around to watch isn’t in your future.”

“Wow, you know how to make me feel a thousand times better.”

Louis chuckled then smacked him on the back. “I know you too well, old friend. You like to be busy. Waiting around would never suit.”

He just grunted at that. “If you say so.”

“I do.” Louis reached up to squeeze his shoulder. “The Full Moon run isn’t until total dark. There’s a good five hours between then and now. Time enough to claim her.”

His jaw worked. “She’s with Theo.”

“I gathered when I heard Rafe and Ade talking as they passed my office.” Louis paused. “Why? Is he claiming her?”

“No.” He scoffed. “In figurative terms, I’ve been cockblocking her. She’s doing the same with Theo.”

“I wonder why?”

“I don’t know. Do you trust him? Is he good people?” Mikkel asked, his tone suddenly strident as he rolled his forehead over the glass to stare better at the man who was now leaning against the wall rather than behind him.

“Why? What are you going to do if he’s bad people?”

That made him grunt. “Nothing. Which merely compounds my concerns about my ability to be her mate.”

Louis rolled his eyes. “May the gods spare me from males with too-large egos.”

Mikkel just huffed. “You didn’t see what he can do.”

“What can he do?”

Mikkel thought back to those moments when Theo had frozen time itself. . . . Yeah, that wasn’t something he was about to get over. Not quickly, at any rate. Just because the guy seemed pretty cool didn’t mean that was enough to deserve Thalia as a mate.

Then, as that thought crossed his mind, he had to scoff.

Who said Mikkel deserved Thalia?

“Never mind,” he mumbled, turning back to face the yard out front. The faint tick of a clock was the only noise that broke the silence, and even that felt too loud. Too strident.

“I didn’t think I’d ever see the day.” A laugh boomed from Louis, and Mikkel spun around to glower at him.

“What the fuck are you laughing about?”

“You are scared,” Louis said, his nostrils flaring as he snickered—his failure to hide his amusement bordering on the epic.

“I’m not scared,” he said on a huff.

“You’re scared,” Louis repeated, firmly this time. “The question is, of what. I know it’s not my granddaughter, because I’ve seen your record, Mikkel. You’ve faced down more insurgents in the Middle East than you’ve had hot dinners.” He folded his arms across his chest as he leaned back, resting his ass on the edge of the desk.

“Thalia doesn’t scare me.”

“So, what does? And don’t try to bullshit me. You haven’t claimed her for a reason. The Mikkel I know, the one Stephen knows, too, well, your bed never gets much of a chance to grow cold when you’re Stateside, does it?”

His throat closed, Louis wasn’t wrong, but the mere mention of another woman made his skin crawl. And that was what freaked him the fuck out.

“Unless,” Louis started, “that’s what’s wrong?”

“What are you? Like Rafe now? Can you read my goddamn mind?”

“No,” came the swift retort. “But you can’t BS me. You think I didn’t feel overwhelmed when we claimed Rosa?”

“No, I don’t,” Mikkel said simply, gluing his gaze to the ground rather than staring the man who was like a mentor to him in the eye. “I think you were born knowing that you’d be mated, that you’d share that mate with your brothers. I, on the other hand, was born not knowing that, and after what happened with my mother and Stephen, I never particularly wanted it, either.”

“Why not?”

The question, though simple, was surprisingly difficult for him to answer.

“I mean, surely, that’s what every human wants, isn’t it? To find their other half?”

“Yeah, because I cried into my pillow every night waiting for my soulmate,” Mikkel scoffed.

Louis pinched the bridge of his nose. “You’re trying my patience.”

“Well, I do apologize. Let’s just change the subject if this one is so disagreeable.”

“All humans want their soulmates. Why wouldn’t you want that? Someone who was made for you?”

He scowled. “This is a stupid conversation.”

“No. It’s not. You’re mated to my granddaughter, and you’re denying the bond for some stupid reason. I’d like to know why you’re hurting yourself and her.”

Mikkel contemplated that and knew that Louis was right. Mikkel was hurting Thalia. He didn’t mean to. But it was just hard.

“Why wasn’t my dad my mother’s soulmate?”

When no answer was forthcoming, Mikkel cocked a brow at Louis, finally looking directly at him.

The older man sighed. “I’m sorry, Mikkel.”

“It doesn’t matter. It’s not even your fault.” He wriggled his shoulders and turned back to the window. “Like I said, it’s a stupid conversation.”

“No. It’s not.” Another sigh escaped Louis. “They were separated when he went overseas for his final deployment, weren’t they?”

“Yeah. They’d already had the talk with me.” His lips twisted. “Amazing how you can remember shit from that age. But I remember that, I remember his funeral, and I remember Stephen and my mother kissing at the mall like. . . .” He blew out a breath, stunned that this shit still had the power to hurt him.

His brow puckered as shame hit him.

He was too old to be crying about his daddy.

Too old to even think about this shit.

Then, Louis lifted a hand to his shoulder and squeezed. “Like she didn’t remember your dad had even existed.”

Mikkel hadn’t been shot as often as most people might assume a decorated officer would be. He’d had his fair share of wounds, though, and he could liken this particular pain to when he’d had shrapnel from an IED pulled out of his thigh.

That had been a bitch.

The morphine had taken an age to work, and by the time the medics were a third done, only then had the drug kicked into gear.

He could remember the slicing sensation as the metal scraped against flesh that had no business being poked and prodded. Tissues that were supposed to remain inside for a reason.

This pain felt like that.

“Just because she fell for Stephen doesn’t mean–”

“Cut the bull, Louis,” he rasped. “She didn’t love my father. He probably didn’t love her. I was an unhappy accident. She was waiting for Stephen to just pop up and take her from the sorry mess she’d made of her life.”

“That isn’t fair.”

“Isn’t it? She was a single mom. She worked two jobs to pay for a shitty apartment and to feed and clothe us. Stephen came along, and suddenly, she didn’t have to work at all. Food and clothes weren’t an issue. Being warm at night and being safe wasn’t a problem, either.”

“So, why are you so bitter?”

“I’m not.” He knew he sounded shocked, because he was. “I love my mom. You know that.”

“I do, so I don’t get where this is coming from.”

“Maybe I don’t, either.”

Louis fell quiet, until he squeezed Mikkel’s shoulder again, and murmured, “Maybe it’s the little boy who’s angry?”

He shrugged. “That’s pathetic if that’s the case.”

“You might be Action Man in the flesh, but that doesn’t mean your inner child is bulletproof,” Louis argued. “She hurt you by moving on from your dad.”

That was the weird thing, Mikkel had been glad for both of them. His mom had gone from being miserable to being happy, in the matter of hours. For a few days, she’d been confused, too, a little scared. But that franticness he’d sensed in her, even as a kid, had abated the minute Stephen had taken her into his arms.

“I was glad for her,” he whispered softly.

“But you didn’t want a mate for yourself?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I just never wanted to give someone that much power over me.”

“Well, whether you like it or not, you’ve got a mate. She has power over you whether you’re claimed or not. Except now, you get none of the perks.” Louis let out a snort. “I can’t believe I’m encouraging a manwhore like you to try to bed my granddaughter. Will wonders never cease?”

“Yeah, it is kind of fucked up,” Mikkel admitted, releasing a gravelly laugh.

“I know you won’t hurt her, though. You might have broken your fair share of hearts along the way, but I know Thalia is safe with you.”

“How do you know that?” he asked quietly as he turned to look at Louis over his shoulder.

“Because you wouldn’t have deliberated for this long if you didn’t care.”

“I think you’re reading too much—”

“No, I think I’m reading the exact right amount into this. Having a mate does make you vulnerable, Mikkel. I’m not going to lie about that. It does. But, she’ll make you invincible in ways you can’t begin to comprehend.” Louis licked his lips. “Your father wasn’t lucky enough to experience that, but your mother was. I’m sure, if he had the choice, if he knew what your mother got to experience on a daily basis, I’m positive he’d want that for his only son.”

Mikkel wasn’t sure why, but that made his eyes burn. “You think?”

Was that his voice?

That low, hoarse rasp?

Louis shook his head, drawing his attention. “Oh no, son. I don’t think. I know.”