ON SATURDAY, SHANE knocks on my door.

I open it to find him fresh out of the shower, a towel wrapped around his waist. There are still flecks of water dripping from his hair, and I want to follow the wet trails with my tongue. So many nights I've fantasized about the way those muscles would feel, their heat, power, and hardness under my hands. A little jolt shoots through my chest when our eyes meet, and I realize he's watching me check him out. He holds my gaze for a moment and then winks. I can hide nothing from him. It’s like the guy is psychically tuned to my most embarrassing frequency.

“How goes your quest, little bit?”

“Huh?” Is he asking about my fantasies?

“Have you gotten any further than first base? Met any dudes? Added anything to your notebook?”

“Um.”

“Have you actually talked to a guy yet? One not living in this house?”

“Well, no.”

He gives an exaggerated sigh. “I didn’t think so. You need to come out with us tonight. We’re going to a party, and you can scope out your first victim.”

I leave the door open and cross back to my bed to sit down. I’ve been around long enough to know that Shane is just getting started. “No way. I am horrible at parties.”

He comes in and leans on my dresser. God, if the towel accidentally caught on the dresser knob, it would pull right off him, and then I’d get a look at his...knob.

“Little bit, are you having impure thoughts about me?” He laughs. God, he’s got a great laugh. “You totally are. That’s awesome. And yes, you are coming to the party tonight.”

Every party I’ve ever been to has been monumentally awkward. Starting with Mindy Hansen’s first grade birthday at McDonald’s. “You don’t want me there. I will ruin the vibe. Trust me.”

“You are coming. Guys are basically stupid. They need to see you getting flirted with to open their eyes. Then they will make their own play. Trust, little sister. We got you covered.”

“This sounds suspiciously like going to prom with a cousin from two towns over. Or a cheesy teen movie plot. Let me guess. You and Fletch are going to pretend that I’m totally hot, and then all your little friends will fall all over themselves trying to get into my pants, and all the girls will be jealous and start talking to me to get my secrets.”

“Basically.”

“Not going to happen.” I scooch up the bed and sit with my legs crisscrossed. “Besides, in all the movies, the girls actually pull some kind of mean stunt, and I’d be embarrassed by them in public somehow.”

“In all the movies, you still get the guy in the end.” He crosses over to my closet and flings the door open.

“What are you doing?”

“Picking out your clothes for tonight.”

“Uh. No.”

“Uh. Yeah.”

“I have nothing in there that will work at a party.”

“I can see that. We can fix this, though. You have any scissors?”

I’m sure my eyes are huge. “You can’t be seriously considering cutting my clothes.”

“We have some in the kitchen junk drawer.” He pulls out a shirt with our school letters on it. “Do you know about makeup? I don’t know anything about makeup. Maybe Fletch does. He had a serious girlfriend for about a year. He probably watched her get ready for shit.”

I jump up and yank the shirt out of his hands. “I can’t just change who I am, Shane.”

He looks at me like I’ve lost my mind. Which isn’t fair because that is the way I’m looking at him. He’s the crazy one. Not me. “Wearing makeup changes who you are?”

“Well...” I remember all the times I watched Jenna getting ready for things. Sometimes she took an hour on her eyes alone. But she’s still a great person. “No, not really.”

I repeat: Not fair.

“It will be just like hanging out with us at home only more beer and stupid people to watch.”

“You make it sound so enticing.”

“Look, Velma. Nobody is asking you to change. I don’t want you to be different. I want you to be more comfortable being you.”

I take the shirt and hanger out of his hand and put it back into my closet. “Well, that’s a super nice sentiment, but going to a party does not make me comfortable. It makes me the opposite of comfortable. And sometimes I have a way of making everyone else around me uncomfortable also. It’s not a good time.”

“I think the scientist in you realizes that the best way to observe the natural behavior of your subjects is to be where they are acting natural. So, look at this like an experiment. You go, dress in the proper camouflage, watch the subjects, and then see what happens when you introduce a new element of two horndogs trying to get into your pants.”

“I’m not going to the party.”

“You’re totally going to the party. Do you have any red underwear?”

Oh, my God. I am not going to this party.