As soon as I stepped into Declan’s elevator the tears began to stream down my face.  Sarah was pregnant.  Why would I get involved with a guy whose ex-girlfriend was currently carrying their baby?  I didn’t have a ton of feelings invested in him so I could just walk away, right?  I tried to tell myself that but every time I thought about not having Declan around anymore I felt sadder by the minute.  I didn’t even want to think about what was going on with my mom and dad.  As I rode home in the cab along Lake Shore Drive, staring out the window and watching the waves crashing against the shore, I just wanted to curl up in a ball and disappear.

 

I walked into my apartment and literally fell into bed.  I didn’t want to start packing, I didn’t want to study, and I didn’t want to talk to anyone on the phone.  I just wanted to sleep.

 

The next morning I woke up with renewed energy and a new plan for my life.  I was going to move in with Sophie, focus on completing my final semester and immerse myself in my internship so that I would be guaranteed a job offer when it was over.  As long as I stayed busy, I would not have time to think about Declan.  That was my plan but I would soon find out that was not necessarily the best plan for me.

 

Declan called me that morning before I went to class but I just let it go to voicemail.  I wasn’t ready to talk to him yet and there really wasn’t anything he could say to me.  I was still in college and I didn’t want to deal with baby mama drama when I didn’t really have to.  The fact that Sarah showed up at the airport like she did was probably just the beginning of the kind of stunts she would pull.  I wanted nothing to do with a situation like that.  I had to keep telling myself that over and over because as much as I didn’t want to admit it, I was really sad about having to walk away from what I could have had with Declan.

 

I literally threw myself into school, work and moving the next three months to keep my mind off of the pit I felt in my stomach.  I had never felt what I was feeling for Declan before and I didn’t quite know what to do about it.  Sophie was the only person I could talk to about it and I was sure she was getting sick of my lamenting so I mostly kept my feelings to myself.  The one good thing that came of my mom and Arty breaking up is I never had to tell her about Declan.

 

My mom and dad were getting married the week after my graduation and I was dreading it like crazy.  She was acting like a giddy school girl constantly calling me and asking my opinion on everything to do with the wedding.  They were inviting 100 people and she wanted me to be the maid of honor, which was the last thing I wanted to do, but I had to do it.  I couldn’t believe that they were actually still together but my mother seemed happier than I had ever seen her in my life.  My dad kept trying to have dinner with me but I had no interest in doing that yet.  It was going to take some time for me to want to spend time with him in person.  I was perfectly happy with the cordial sporadic email relationship we had.

 

I had not seen Declan at all during that time and his calls, texts and emails eventually stopped.  Of course I was upset about it but I was so busy with everything else going on in my life I didn’t have time to dwell on my feelings.

 

The morning of graduation Sophie and I were getting ready and I could tell that she had something on her mind because she kept glancing over at me while I was doing my hair.  After her 20th glance I turned to her.

 

“What’s up, Soph?  You feeling okay?”

 

“I have to tell you something and I don’t want you to get upset.”

 

She piqued my curiosity so I gave her my full attention.

 

“Okay.”

 

“Declan asked me to ask you if you would meet him for coffee sometime.”

 

“What?  Since when have you been talking to Declan?”  I instantly felt annoyed.

 

“Calm down, I ran into Declan at the grocery store yesterday.  I was trying to figure out the best time to tell you because I didn’t want to upset you, but I had to let you know that he wants to see you.  I know you don’t want to have anything to do with him Brielle, but I have to tell you he looked really sad when he asked about you.  I can tell that he misses you.”

 

I didn’t expect the tug at my heart when she told me he wanted to see me, but I had to push those feelings aside.  Declan was going to have a very busy life in less than a month and there just wasn’t room for me.  I was pretty sure Sarah was always around and I had no interest in getting in the middle of anything.  Maybe Declan and I would talk after the baby was born but I felt it was best to just leave things like they were.  There was no reason to see him…at least not yet.

 

“It’s just not a good idea, Sophie.  Declan has nothing to say that would change my mind about us.  His whole life is about to change and I don’t want to be in the middle of that.”

 

She let out a deep breath and she gave me a look that I had not ever seen, so I knew she was getting pissed.

 

“Brielle, lots of guys have kids with women they don’t end up with and it’s not a reason to cut someone off.  I have never seen you as happy as you were for that short time you were with Declan in Mexico and I want to see that look on your face again.  Can’t you at least have a cup of coffee with him?  He’s really hurting.”

 

I thought about what she said and the tug at my heart was getting stronger as I thought about the fact that he was hurting still after all those months of not seeing me.  It was time for me to be honest with myself also.  As much as I tried to deny it, I missed Declan like crazy.  Sophie had never looked at me like that so I really had to take a minute and seriously consider what she was saying.  Sometimes she knew me better than I knew myself and I knew she only wanted what was best for me.  What could a cup of coffee hurt?

 

“Okay, maybe you’re right.  I guess I could take 30 minutes to catch up with him.”

 

“I really think you should.  Just go with an open mind and see where things go.  You never know what could happen.  I’ll email him and tell him it’s okay to contact you.”

 

“Okay, okay.  We should get going or we’re going to be late.”

 

She looked at me with a huge smile on her face.

 

“I can’t believe we’re finally graduating!”

 

“I know, I am so excited to move on to the next chapter of my life!”