When He Was Your Man

 

The sound of a bunny singing the alphabet was a bizarre backdrop to the tense meeting that ensued in the kitchen. Leshawna folded her arms across her chest and stared Kelly down, while the younger woman squirmed.

“Hannah and Trisha have grown so quickly,” she said in an attempt to start the conversation. She craned her neck to look at the children who were staring, slack-jawed, at the television screen.

Leshawna sneered, her teeth slightly yellow and twisted at the bottom. “Don’t pretend to be my friend or care about my children. You make me sick.”

Kelly swallowed, clasping her hands together to hide their nervous tremors. “Then why are you here?”

“Because I need to ask a favor.”

“Anything.”

“Take Clayton back.”

Kelly picked her jaw off the floor. “Excuse me? I’m not sure what you’re talking about.”

“Do you really think I didn’t know about you?” Leshawna rolled her eyes and plucked the collar of her solid pink blouse. “When my husband started sneaking around, making secret phone calls and disappearing days at a time for ‘business trips’, I got the gist pretty quickly.”

“Leshawna, there’s nothing I can say—”

“Exactly.” She held up a hand. “You’re younger than me. You have a sexier body and a prettier face than I ever did in my twenties. I’m sure your stamina is closer to Clayton’s than mine. I bet it wasn’t an intelligent conversation that got his attention.”

Leshawna’s mention of her sexual stamina along with her equally perturbing request to rekindle the relationship with Clayton made Kelly very uncomfortable. She found herself glancing longingly at the door.

“I put up with you for four years because I understand that men have needs. It could have been worse. At least Clayton was sticking to one woman and not bringing a whole bunch of diseases home. I figured I could tolerate you since he’ll never leave me anyway.”

“But… didn’t Clayton present you with a petition for divorce?”

“A what?” The wrinkles around Leshawna’s eyes deepened and her nose flared. “Where did you hear such nonsense? From Clayton?” She laughed darkly. “That man will say anything to put his hands up a girl’s skirt.”

Feeling particularly foolish, Kelly tried to get the conversation back on course. “I’m sorry for the pain I’ve caused you and your family. I see that I did a lot of damage and I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me, but I can’t go back to Clayton.”

“Forgiveness?” Leshawna huffed. “You don’t deserve that and I don’t intend to give it.”

“I understand.” They were two women tangled together and trapped in a bad situation. All Kelly could do was make the best of it.

Leshawna, however, did not appreciate her levelheaded approach.

“You understand?” Her fingers trembled and her face reddened. “You understand? Do you think I like being here, begging my husband’s mistress to continue sneaking around behind my back? Do you think I like dragging my kids to this whorehouse where their father disrespected me every time he put himself inside you?”

Kelly winced. “I—”

“No! You shut up and listen!” Leshawna tapped her chest. “I’m barely keeping it together as it is. I want to kill you. I want to kill him. My sanity’s being stretched to its limits.”

Kelly drew back and eyed the cupboard where she kept her knives. Should Leshawna suddenly dive for a weapon hidden on her person, she would leap to the drawer and defend herself.

Clayton’s wife took in a calming breath. “My man is acting out like I’ve never seen before—spending all night drinking, passing out in front of the TV, and living at the strip club with his friends. He’s getting himself into all kinds of trouble and our family is struggling financially to support his tantrum.”

“That has nothing to do with me.”

“That has everything to do with you.” Leshawna choked. “For some reason, Clayton’s convinced that he’s in love with his side thing. And I hate to admit it, but our home is the happiest after he lets off some steam with you. This is your mess. So fix it.”

Silence filled the space between them as Leshawna sat back—indicating that she had said her piece. Kelly’s mind raced, but nothing coherent sprang from her lips.

She wasn’t the most upstanding person, but something about the conversation struck her as very twisted. Perhaps it was Benjamin’s insistence that all women were valuable and deserved to be treated with respect. Perhaps it was her own slow realization that her actions had affected far more people than just her and Clayton.

When she looked at Leshawna, she saw someone being neglected and hurt. Someone willing to offer the morsels of her crumbling marriage to the woman who had helped blow her world to pieces.

Believe it or not, Kelly had imagined a moment like this many times. In it, she had always painted herself as the victor, the deserving winner of Clayton’s love and attention. And Leshawna had been the melting witch who would no longer trap Clayton in the prison of marriage.

In reality, the moment felt nothing close to triumphant. It was dirty and cheap.

Even if Kelly hadn’t been slowly destroying her feelings for Clayton, she would never want to be a part of this mother’s heartache. Not anymore. Not with everything she knew now.

“I’m sorry,” she cried, unable to say anything else. “I can promise you that if Clayton tries to come at me, I’ll send him right back. That’s it.”

Leshawna jerked her chin down in a stiff nod. “I’ve already been around you more than I can stomach. I’m not going to beg again.”

Kelly rose and awkwardly followed Clayton’s wife as she collected her infant daughter and held her eldest child by the hand. She hung back, wondering if she should offer them something to drink before they left.

Leshawna marched toward the door and Kelly had no choice but to abandon her idea. The baby cooed at her as they passed by and waved her little hands. Kelly waved back, delighting in her tiny fingers and toes.

Both little girls were oblivious to the ugly underbelly of the real world. Their father was a star in their eyes—capable of doing no wrong. He spoiled them and loved them, showing more affection to the ones he created than to the one who had helped him create them.

Kelly knew that age and understanding would change their starry gaze, but she hoped—for their sake—that the truth didn’t come out for a good while. Innocence was such a fragile, beautiful thing.

A memory nudged her, something showered in the fuzzy haze of her childhood, but Kelly brushed it away and opened the door for the little family to pass through.

When Leshawna stopped in her tracks, Kelly poked her head out to see what the holdup was. She gasped when her gaze locked with Benjamin’s baby blues. He held a bouquet of flowers and looked gorgeously casual in a grey T-shirt, khakis and black and white tennis shoes.

“Hey, Kel,” he said warmly, his eyes beaming at Trisha who cooed at him from Leshawna’s arms. “I didn’t know you were with friends.”

Leshawna snorted and Kelly winced. Should she introduce them? How would she go about doing that?

“Benjamin, this is my ex-lover’s wife and her two adorable children Trisha and Hannah. See how Trisha has Clayton’s eyes?”

Before Kelly could find a polite way to say that, Leshawna spoke. “I hope you know what kind of woman you’re messing with. She’ll destroy your life and leave you without regrets.”

“Uh…” Clearly confused, Benjamin forced a smile. “Thanks for the warning.”

Leshawna growled low in her throat and hauled her kids down the stairs. When the trio disappeared from sight, Kelly invited Benjamin into her apartment. They sank into the sofa. The scent of baby powder lingered on the fabric and the bunny on the television sang about the colors of the rainbow.

She turned off the set and let the silence soak into her like a gentle rain.

“You look stressed,” he said.

“That was Clayton’s wife.”

“Oh?” She glanced over and found his expression carefully neutral. “What did she want?”

“Something crazy.” Kelly pointed to the flowers in his hands. “I’m sorry, but after that conversation, after everything I’ve done, I don’t think I deserve those.”

“They’re yours anyway.” He offered the bouquet to her and then slid his hands along her shoulders to turn her into his side.

Kelly leaned into his strength. The scent of him—along with the scent of the petals—embraced her, soothing in its fragrance. She was struck by the thought that Benjamin Levy was a good man—a man willing to stay faithful to and love only one woman for the rest of his life, a man too rare for words, and too good for her.

She sighed and mumbled, mostly to herself. “I don’t deserve you either.”

Benjamin tenderly kissed her forehead and ran his thumb along her shoulder. “Too bad. I’m yours anyway.”