Severed Ties Chapter 4

I was definitely on edge about having lunch with Jake, which was crazy considering I’d never been nervous around him before. Growing up, we’d done everything together. Back then, I’d been hiding the parts of myself that made me defective in the eyes of the werewolves. Now, I went to packs and told them about my struggles with depression, and Jake had seen my talk. It’s not that I was ashamed, not anymore at least. That might be the problem with seeing Jake. He was a reminder of a time when I’d been ashamed.

After parking, I made my way to the restaurant and found Jake already standing in front, messing with his phone. Even though we were in a busy area, I knew he sensed me coming. Werewolves have an annoyingly good sense of smell. I say annoying because I live in a human apartment complex, and I am often overwhelmed with the many smells around me. I tended to stay out on weekends when more humans were home.

Jake slipped his phone into his pocket and looked at me with a shy smile that reminded me more of the boy he’d once been than the man he seemed to have grown into.

“Hi,” he greeted me before stepping forward and wrapping his arms around me for a much too brief hug. “I wasn’t sure you’d come today.”

“I was tempted to tell you no,” I admitted and almost laughed at Jake’s frown. “That surprises you?”

“Women don’t generally turn me down,” he admitted before laughing at himself. “That sounded much more arrogant than I intended.”

“Big man now,” I teased. “The women fall at your feet. I guess they all forgot what a dork you really are.”

He laughed again and reached out to snag my hand before I realized what he was doing. “Used to be? Just last week, I had to take a group of young werewolves out for a run, and I made one of them wear a pack with my phone in it.”

“And that makes you a dork how?” I asked as Jake led me into the restaurant. “It makes sense to have your phone in case there’s an emergency.”

“I needed it because we were heading to an area where I thought I might catch a Jigglypuff,” he explained, motioning for me to take a seat in the booth.

I slid in, expecting Jake to take a seat across from me. Instead, he slid into the booth beside me.

“A Jigglypuff?” I asked, certain I’d misheard him.

He nodded. “So, you can see why I needed my phone.”

I shook my head. “I’m not entirely certain what you just said. What exactly is a Jigglypuff?”

“It’s a Pokémon,” he told me.

I laughed so loud, I startled people across the diner. “I’d like to say this proves you’re dorky, but everyone other than me seems to be playing that game.”

“My pack leader doesn’t agree,” he admitted with a sheepish grin.

“I’ve met some witches who love the game so much, they’re trying to come up with a spell to help them locate rare Pokémon,” I told him with a shake of my head. I still didn’t understand the appeal.

“Have they found one?” he asked excitedly.

I laughed at his reaction. “No. You’ll just have to continue hunting them when out on runs with your pack.”

“That’s not likely to happen again. My pack leader puts up with a lot from me because I make the pack a lot of money with my investment choices, but he was pretty pissed about this.” Snatching a menu from the behind the napkins, he handed it to me.

“Have you eaten here before?” I asked.

“A few times,” he replied. “The guy who works the grill most days knows how to cook meat without burning it.”

Looking over, I saw the guy working behind the counter flipping burgers while chatting with a waitress.

“Hey, Jake!” a waiter greeted us, setting down waters. “I’ll have your appetizer out in a few minutes. You want the usual?”

I regarded Jake with a raised eyebrow. “You’ve only been here a few times?”

“A few times this week,” he admitted. “I’ll have the usual. How about you?”

The menu only had a few items, so I quickly made my decision. “Double bacon cheeseburger, medium rare.”

“You want any fries with that?” the waiter asked.

I shook my head. “I will have a root beer though.”

Jake wrinkled his nose, reminding me of how much he hated soda. “Maybe I should get a root beer float,” I mused, recalling Jake’s many rants about ruining ice cream.

“She’ll just have the root beer,” he told the waiter, and I was suddenly annoyed. When the waiter left, Jake turned back to me and grinned when he saw my expression. “I wasn’t telling you what to do. I already knew you didn’t want to ruin good ice cream with your nasty root beer. You were just messing with me.”

I nodded and took a sip of my water to give me something to do. “How’ve you been?”

“Mostly good,” he replied. “I’m in a good place with the pack.”

“What are you doing with the pack?” I asked. Though Jake moved with the same confidence as most enforcers did, and that had been my first guess, he had already denied that roll. I was curious what his position within the pack was.

“I’ve been handling the pack’s investments. After I finished college, my uncle started training me, so I could take over for him.”

“I never pictured you as a financial advisor,” I admitted.

“A lot can change in a decade,” he replied, his voice taking on a hard edge. “I heard about what you’ve been doing, working with the packs.”

“You have?” I asked.

“About a year ago. You are big news among the packs,” he explained. “Most don’t like the changes you’re pushing for, while some are thrilled that someone is finally standing up for the rights of pack members who’ve been cast out.”

“If you already knew all this about me, why did you look so surprised when you found out why I’d left the pack?” I asked.

“You know how the packs are with discussing anything related to mental illness,” he replied with a one shoulder shrug.

“No one talked about that part,” I added with a sad sigh. “It’s one of the struggles I face. Even when the packs agree to keep members struggling with mental health issues, they still want to pretend the problem doesn’t exist. My friend, Evie Talbot, is one of the doctors who specialize in treating werewolves, and many packs refuse to allow her to treat their members for fear of having anyone know about the problem.”

The waiter dropped off an order of mozzarella sticks with the promise our food would be out shortly. The silence stretched between us as Jake dipped his mozzarella stick in the sauce over and over again.

“You’re mad,” I finally said to end the silence.

“Yeah,” he admitted. “Some of it’s me being mad at you for not telling me you needed help, but mostly, I’m mad at the pack for sending you away. We always talk about pack being family, but this isn’t how family should act.”

Jake’s hand settled on my thigh under the table, and I sucked in a sharp breath at the contact, trying to think about anything other than his warm hand resting on my thigh.

“I was hoping you felt it, too,” he murmured.

“Felt what?” I asked, grabbing my own cheese stick to give me something to focus on other than Jake’s hand on my thigh.

Jake chuckled, shifting his body closer to mine. “We’re both old enough to skip the games, Hadley. You’re just as turned on as I am.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I insisted, which was mostly a lie. I’d only dated warlocks and a few humans since banned werewolves were more limited with their dating options, but I knew a werewolf would be able to tell I was aroused by the change in my scent.

“No more lies,” Jake said, his voice harder this time. “We want each other, but it’s more than that, and we both know it. Why should we pretend?”

Thankfully, our food came before I could respond, and I dug into my burger, starved, and glad to have a distraction. “It’s nice to just be able to eat when I go out with someone,” I admitted. “That’s one of the craziest things I miss about being part of a pack.” It was hard explaining my high metabolism rate if I dated humans, and warlocks had a tendency to comment on it even if they knew why I was eating so much. I was so used to eating with humans and warlocks, I’d eaten before leaving home so I wouldn’t be as hungry.

The rest of our meal passed without any more awkward moments, both of us seeming to do our best to avoid upsetting the balance or bring up uncomfortable subjects. It was almost like we’d remained friends all this time.

“That was incredible,” I told Jake as I finished off the last bite of my burger. “Now, I see why you’re such a big fan of this diner. I’m surprised it’s not filled with werewolves.”

“I haven’t told anyone other than you about it,” he admitted.

“Isn’t that a huge betrayal?” I asked in mock horror.

“I’ll do anything to preserve the one place I can go for privacy,” was his strange response.

“You’re a werewolf,” I reminded him. “Privacy should be the last thing you want.”

He shrugged. “I was never much of a joiner, as you may recall.”

That was true. Jake had always kept more to himself than most pack members.

“That’s right! You’re the introvert werewolf.”

“That’s me. You were pretty much the only pack member I wanted to hang out with, and I was in love with you,” he admitted softly.

“We were just pups,” I stated, waving off his declaration of love.

“But we aren’t now,” was his intense response.

“No,” I agreed, looking down at my empty plate. “We’re adults now, which is why we should say goodbye.”

Jake’s gray eyes focused completely on me. “I don’t want to say goodbye. I just found you again, and I want to spend time with you.”

“How do you see that working, Jake?” I asked, trying to keep my voice unaffected. “Do you expect us to sneak around without the pack finding out?”

“I’m not ashamed of seeing you,” he argued.

“But I’m banished from the pack,” I reminded him. “Before you start to argue, I’ve already heard from my parents that the new pack leader has even stricter rules regarding interactions between pack members and banned werewolves. My parents made it clear talking to me wouldn’t be okay the last time I tried contacting them.”

Jake’s eyes narrowed. “Your own parents don’t talk to you?”

I shook my head. “What would you like them to do, Jake?”

“Stand up for you,” he replied. “You’re their daughter.”

I snorted. “My parents are just as ashamed of me as the pack. I’ve only spoken to them a few times since being banished.”

“Where did you go?” he asked.

“A witch family took me in,” I replied. “It’s kind of funny since witches tend to be elitists, but I guess it happens with younger werewolves who’ve been cast out from the pack.”

“What was it like living with witches?” he asked.

“Strange at first,” I replied. “We didn’t develop any strong bond, but they helped me find my path.”

“What you’re doing is great,” Jake praised.

“Thank you,” I replied softly. “I really need to go. I have to prepare to meet with another pack up north in a couple days, research their structure and decide how to approach them.”

“Promise you’ll think about seeing me again,” he pushed.

“No,” I told him. “Now, let me out of this booth.”

“Please, Hadley,” he rasped out, cupping my cheek and gently turning my face toward his. The desperation in his eyes, and the raw need I heard in his voice nearly floored me. “Not a day has gone by when I haven’t missed you like crazy. I miss talking to you. Now that I’ve seen you again, I want so much more. Please give me a chance to make this work. You’re like the other half of my soul. I’m incomplete without you.”

Jake’s thumb brushed against my lower lip, sending a shudder of desire through my body. If it was simply lust, I might have been tempted to say yes and enjoy just one night with this man, but it was much more than that. The innocent love I’d felt for Jake all those years ago no longer felt quite so innocent, and it was something we simply couldn’t have, not without Jake being forced to sever all ties to his pack.

“We can’t be together,” I argued. “It violates pack law. Today was a mistake. All we’re doing is torturing ourselves.”

“Let me deal with the pack,” Jake insisted.

I shook my head. While I’d met Jake believing I could allow him to decide, I’d been wrong. Jake had no clue what he was offering to give up for me. He had no idea how hard the adjustment to being cut off from one’s pack could be. “You have a pack. I know you’re thinking you can handle going against them, but you have no clue how much it hurts to be cast out. I won’t put you through that, Jake. While I moved past it, my life was miserable for the first couple years.”

“It’s my choice to make,” he insisted.

I shook my head. “No, it’s not.”

Jake visibly struggled to get his temper under control before finally letting out a frustrated breath. “I want you to promise to at least consider giving us a chance. Before you argue, I need you to understand that every part of me recognizes you as my mate. We belong together.”

I wasn’t sure how to respond to what Jake had said. While there was no mystical bond between werewolf mates, like there was with witches, it was still very profound that Jake had recognized me as his mate. Werewolves mated for life, meaning now that he’d decided I was his mate, he’d never look for another mate unless I died or he believed there was no chance for us.

The words stuck in my throat. All I had to do was convince Jake we couldn’t be together, and he’d be able to move on with his life. It was the right thing to do, but instead of telling him I didn’t want him as my mate, I said, “I’ll think about it.”

Jake leaned in to kiss me, his lips barely brushing against mine, and my heartbeat quickened from that almost innocent kiss. He stared at me for a moment, and I could see the struggle in his eyes. He wanted to take things further. I suspected what stopped him wasn’t the fact that we were in a crowded restaurant so much as worry that I’d retreat if he didn’t give me time to think.

“Thank you,” he murmured, cupping my cheek and brushing his lips against mine one last time before sliding out of the booth and letting me make my escape. An escape was exactly what I saw it as.

Jake was a perfect gentleman as he walked me to the car.

“You’re going to tell me no, aren’t you?” he asked, visibly struggling to keep his hands to himself.

“I’m not sure I have any other choice,” I admitted before getting into my car and driving off, knowing it was probably the last time I’d ever see Jake.