Chapter Seven
Chuey
There was no way Ryder couldn't feel Chuey's growing cock pressing into his back. Chuey had done all he could to keep the erection from forming, but between imagining a spanking from Ryder's firm hand while being tortured by the soft hum of the motorcycle's engine between his legs, it had been a lost cause.
Even with his problem, Chuey was thankful for the ride. It was pretty much impossible to talk with the wind whipping by. They wouldn't be on the bike for long, but Chuey would use every moment to think about what had happened. It had never occurred to him to not jump in and protect Ryder. But, to Chuey, he wasn't disobeying Ryder, he was being helpful. Chuey wondered if Ryder would let him argue that point.
He understood Ryder's point though, so for that reason, he was willing to submit himself to the promised spanking. He wondered if that was really the only reason. He wouldn't have gotten so hard so quickly if the idea didn't turn him on just a little. But then, was it because of the man? Ryder walking down the sidewalk could probably make him hard. He was excited for the spanking, but had so many questions and there was the matter of defending his actions—
"Look at those wheels turning," Ryder said at a volume louder than Chuey had been expecting.
He only noticed then that they were parked and the engine had been turned off. "I was being helpful," he blurted out before he lost his nerve. He cringed, though he wasn't sure why, Ryder would never hit him out of anger.
His expression was clear of irritation or annoyance. He merely leaned back to give Chuey his space and said, "Explain."
Emboldened by Ryder's openness to listen, Chuey slid off the seat. He tugged at his pants, giving his dick more room. When he lifted his face, Ryder had fire in his eyes. Chuey cleared his throat, waiting for Ryder to look at his face. If he expected a sheepish expression from the man, he was disappointed. Ryder was unapologetic about his desire.
"In my old pack, my first pack, they would not let me help. I was much smaller than my brothers and sisters, and because I was smallest, they thought me incapable," Chuey said, hoping he was choosing the correct words to convey his meaning. "When Padre brought me to the bears, they always asked for my help. Even when I did not want to give it." He smiled at the thought. "I heard the trouble. I heard the fighting when you went back in. I do not know who your enemies are. I did not know they were humans. But when I saw the human with his gun, I could not let him hurt you." Chuey sighed after he finished speaking and waited for Ryder's reaction.
"Thank you for telling me that," Ryder said, grabbing Chuey's hand gently. He could pull away easily, but why would he want to? "I was not looking at the situation through your eyes and I apologize for that."
His gentle tone put Chuey at ease immediately. As did the soft circle Ryder traced with his thumb against the sensitive skin of Chuey's inner wrist. They walked to Ryder's cabin down the dirt path, hand in hand, their pace relaxed like they were two lovers enjoying a warm early summer night. It was a far cry from how angry Ryder had been before. "Are you still... are you still going to spank me?" Chuey asked, his voice higher in tone than he would have wanted. He wasn't sure if he was hoping the answer would be yes or no.
Ryder unlocked his front door and pulled Chuey in behind him. Chuey had already been in this house. Except, before, he'd crawled in through the window. He hadn't bothered turning on any lights and had searched for the spot Ryder's scent was the strongest. His bed. That felt like a lifetime ago now.
Ryder didn't take him to his bed but to his living room. The space smelled of dust and wood. The entire cabin reminded Chuey of old caves he used to find in the Mexican hills, long abandoned by whatever had called the space home. Like then, there were signs of life, but it didn't feel like the space was well lived in.
Ryder took him to the couch as he began peeling off his uniform. That was how Chuey saw it, anyway. In his leather and gear, Ryder was an alpha, the master of a pack of hybrid shifter bikers. As he dropped his helmet on the recliner and draped his jacket over the back of a chair, he transformed. He disappeared and came back wearing gray sweatpants and a tight, white V-neck, and he was a different man. Still an alpha, but also gentler, more nurturing.
Chuey watched this transformation with rapt attention. Ryder made him feel things that nothing else ever did. Some of the ways were hard for him to describe, like the way the older man made his heart thump. Other ways, like the way Chuey was constantly aroused whenever he was around Ryder, were easier to explain. All of that was new and exciting, and he wanted to explore every situation.
"Do you have anything more comfortable you want to sleep in?" Ryder asked him.
Having spent a large portion of his life without clothes, Chuey was most comfortable naked. Except when he told Ryder as much, he just shook his head.
"Oh no, boy. We need to talk, and I can guarantee we won't be talking if you aren't wearing a stitch of clothing."
He wasn't sure he liked the sound of that. In his limited experience, the phrase, we need to talk, often was followed by something unpleasant. Was Ryder going to kick him out? If he was, then why would he ask Chuey if he wanted to change into something more comfortable?
"Relax, Chuey," Ryder said, sitting next to Chuey on the couch. "We don't need to talk about anything bad."
"You aren't kicking me out?" Chuey asked, almost afraid to look up at the man and see the answer.
"No. I'm not. Even if I should. What I mean is that would make both of our lives easier. You being here with me, look at the drama it's already causing."
"With Padre," Chuey supplied.
"Yes. And that won't be all. You saw that I have other enemies tonight. You're likely already on Marcos's radar. Then there's our age gap. Not that I give a fuck, but people will look at us when we're out in public. They will judge. I'm used to it, but you shouldn't be."
Images of years ago popped into his mind, of cruel tricks and merciless taunts that finally escalated into his attempted murder. "I have been judged before," he said darkly.
"I don't like that tone," Ryder replied, pulling Chuey into his lap at the exact moment that Chuey needed it the most. Being wrapped up and secure in Ryder's arms was similar to the way he felt when he crouched under tables. It felt like a cage and a hug, only the cage was meant to keep the bad things out, not for keeping Chuey in. "When you talk like that, it makes me furious. I need to know who hurt you so that I can hurt them."
"No!" Chuey said, launching upward. "I mean, there is no reason to. I turned out fine, and finding them would just make more problems." Chuey did not add that thinking of Ryder up against his family made his heart stop. He knew that some of his memories of them were exaggerated, that he'd made them into these huge monsters in his mind during his nearly ten years alone, but knowing that didn't stop the fear. "I don't like thinking about you in situations where you are not safe," he confessed. He hadn't brought up what he suspected this whole time because thinking it and saying it were two different things. And, he didn't know if he simply wanted Ryder to be his mate so badly that now his beast was telling him he was. The only way they would find out for sure was by having sex. If the mating knot appeared, then they would know. Until then, Chuey could just guess and hope.
"We had a big day. Why don't I make you something to eat, and then we can talk more about exactly what is going on here between us."
Chuey didn't know what he expected Ryder to say, but it wasn't that. He didn't think he could possibly eat anything at that time. His hands were clammy, and he could still feel the last bursts of adrenaline working their way out of his body. "I thought that we would... that you would... what about the spanking?" That was the elephant in the room, after all.
Ryder blinked. "How does it make you feel?" he asked idly. He rubbed down Chuey's spine in a way that seemed accidental, like he didn't know he was stroking him like a house cat.
"Excited," Chuey answered. "And scared." He couldn't say he'd ever been spanked. His parents had believed in harsher forms of punishment.
"Scared in what way?"
Chuey thought about the question before answering. "Scared because it is new. Unknown." He wouldn't go into how he thought in this circumstance it was also unwarranted. Clearly, his body couldn't decide if it feared being spanked or longed for it. At the same time, Chuey wasn't sure if Ryder meant it as a punishment or as more exploration.
"I'll admit that I made a snap judgment that was incorrect. After you explained to me where your head was, I realized that I was expecting more from you at this point than I should. Despite our bond, we've only just met and know very little about each other. Spanking you tonight would not be fair, and while I think you will derive pleasure from the act, there is such a thing as too much too soon." Ryder lifted Chuey from his lap and placed him in the corner of the couch. He grabbed a throw blanket and tucked it around Chuey's body before flipping on the television. "I'm afraid it's the late-night show or nothing at this hour."
He got up and went to the kitchen, and Chuey's eyes never found the television screen. He followed Ryder's every movement, witnessing the way he operated in the kitchen. It didn't quite seem like familiar ground to him, but he seemed competent in the kitchen, even if he grumbled repeatedly that it had been too long since he'd gone grocery shopping.
A while later, Chuey's stomach rumbled as Ryder set a plate of food in front of him. There was a large mound of spaghetti, toasted bread, and a portion of peas that he'd found in the back of his freezer.
"Tomorrow, we'll go grocery shopping. You'll have to tell me what some of your favorite foods are."
A thrill ran through Chuey as Ryder spoke about tomorrow. Even if it wasn't the far future, it still felt nice that Ryder included him in future plans. He dug into his dinner and had it half eaten before noticing that Ryder didn't have a plate of his own. "You're not hungry?"
"It isn't polite to speak with your mouth full of food," Ryder admonished him.
Chuey quickly chewed and swallowed before asking again. "There is plenty on my plate if there is no more left in the pot," Chuey said, angling his plate toward Ryder.
Ryder smiled, and it was such an infrequent expression on his face that Chuey had to stop and stare at it. Who was this man who could go from a tough and rough biker to a gentle and nurturing daddy in the space of moments? "Thank you, but no. I had a large dinner. At this time of night, we are well into fourth meal territory. I expect you'll eat that and then be ready for bed."
Chuey couldn't agree. He was still too on edge.
Except, by the time he'd consumed the last bite, his dinner sat heavy in his stomach. It seemed to weigh down his limbs and make his eyes droopy. When he yawned, Ryder took away his plate.
"That's my cue," Ryder said, taking care of the dish and leaving it in the sink.
"I'm not tired," Chuey said, and even he heard the way his words came out garbled. What was wrong with him? He used to be able to stay up for days.
"Don't worry, Chuey. You've had a big day. We both have. Let's get some sleep, and then we'll find our answers in the morning." Ryder brought him into the bathroom where they took care of the before-bed necessities. He mentioned out loud about how he would need to buy Chuey his own toothbrush and other hygiene items. After, he gathered Chuey in his arms and carried him to the bedroom.
"I can't sleep," Chuey said while nearly half asleep already. "Who are we? What are we? What do I call you? Do I call you daddy?" His greatest wish was that he hadn't sounded so hopeful when he'd asked the question.
"Is that what you want me to be?" Ryder asked.
The concept wasn't for everyone. In fact, it was utterly new to Chuey. None of the mates in his bear pack operated that way. He thought of Roscoe, the bear pack's pack master, and his mate Sawyer. They were many years apart in age and no one in the pack looked at them any differently. That thought comforted him and made him feel like maybe his desires weren't so strange. "Yes," he said finally. "That's what I want you to be."
"Then that is what I will be," Ryder replied simply. He deposited Chuey onto the bed and pulled his own shirt off before joining him. He brought Chuey's backside against his front and held him that way.
"What does that mean? That I have to listen to you?" Chuey asked.
Ryder pulled him closer, and his body fit perfectly in the space. "It doesn't mean that, no. Being your daddy isn't like being your padre. Though there are similarities. It means more that I am responsible for your well-being. Sometimes, that will look like you obeying me; always, it will look like me caring for you. Does that answer your questions?"
In a way, it did. Until Ryder had brought it up, Chuey hadn't thought there were any similarities between what Ryder was to him and what his padre was to him. They were completely different figures in his life. Toward one, he felt gratitude and loyalty. His padre would always be the father he never got to experience. Toward Ryder, he felt loyalty, but also desire. He wanted to please Ryder, to be good for him and to make his life better.
Chuey didn't think he would ever be brave enough to ask his next question, so he thought why not get it over with now while he could blame it on his exhaustion? "Are you my mate?"
So much different than being a daddy, if Ryder was his mate then that meant that Chuey had some changes in front of him. He braced his hand against his stomach as he wondered how his body would change if he ever became pregnant.
Ryder was silent for a long time. He spoke with his body instead, massaging Chuey's muscles and lulling him into a relaxed state even though he hadn't gotten the answers to his questions. Then, when Chuey's eyes were drifting closed for the last time that night, he heard Ryder's whisper.
"I am."