The rest of the trip back was kind of boring. Alex did his workouts and didn’t hang around the lounge. He didn’t need Schultz or anybody else to bug him about what had happened to Parsons.
He got the feeling the crew liked him less than they did before. But it didn’t matter. Tracht was being way nicer. They sometimes just watched a movie together, or Tracht would tell Alex stories from his youth. The sex was still mostly painful or humiliating for Alex, and he hated it in the moment, but Alex was kind of okay with his situation overall.
As soon as the ship entered comm space again, Alex messaged Nadia, which helped pass most of the remaining time. She was way funnier than Parsons had ever been, and she wasn’t trying to screw Alex over.
She sided with him on the Parsons thing too. “I never liked him anyway,” she wrote. “I hope he lands in jail.”
Which Alex hadn’t even considered. He kind of remembered Tracht talking to his brother-in-law, but Alex hadn’t been allowed to eavesdrop on that conversation.
Over dinner that night, just a few days before they were set to dock, Alex asked, “What’s going to happen to Parsons?”
Tracht set the fork down and looked down at Alex. “That is the question.”
“Wait, you don’t know?” Alex shifted on his knees and then thought, whatever, he kind of wanted to be comfortable. He stretched his legs out and ignored the look Tracht gave him.
“Truthfully, it wouldn’t help much to prosecute him. He never stole any data, and pressing charges against him would frankly be time consuming and ultimately useless. Vasilis is sure that it was Argos who contracted Parsons, but there’s no real proof of that. Even if Parsons testified, Argos would simply claim that they’ve never heard of him before.” Tracht petted Alex’s hair lightly. “I could blacklist him so he could never get a job. That has some appeal to it.”
Alex’s chest tightened. Like, yeah, Parsons probably deserved it, but he wouldn’t be able to survive like Alex and Nick had. Look how badly he’d screwed up with an easy job.
“What Vasilis wants, though, is to see if we can’t extract some information from him to use against Argos further down the line.” Tracht pushed his plate away and stood up. “You can have the rest. I need to think about a few things.”
Alex helped Tracht with his boots, and once he was out the door Alex scarfed the rest of Tract’s dinner down. Then he grabbed his tablet and flopped down on the couch.
If Tracht actually blacklisted Parsons, that would probably be the end for him. His kid was definitely not staying in the fancy school, that was for sure. At least Parsons still had his hot brother-in-law to help him out, which was more than Alex had ever had. Probably the brother-in-law wasn’t gonna try to screw Parsons over like Nick had done to Alex.
He was kind of still stewing about all of that, mad at himself that he couldn’t even figure out what he wanted to happen to Parsons, when he saw the new message in his inbox.
Not from Nadia though. From Nick.
Alex clicked on it furiously.
Bro, I really miss u! Cant go on w/o u. we shuld meat up when ur on cadmus again.
The heck? Alex wondered if Nick somehow had access to all the spycams in the room and had known Alex was thinking about him. But that didn’t make sense. Nick wasn’t any better at computers than Alex.
He quickly typed a response:
If I ever see your fucking face, I’m going to kill you.
Only minutes later, he got a reply.
Dont be like that! We’re bros! Remember how much fun we had!?
Stupidly, Alex did remember. It had been a lot easier back then, hadn’t it? He didn’t have to worry about caring about anybody except himself and Nick. Not knowing that Nick was so much of a coward that he would abandon Alex completely. Not worrying if every person he met was trying to screw him over.
No Tracht either, though. He typed up his answer.
I’ll kick your face in. I’ll laugh when you’re lying in a puddle of your own blood.
Nick didn’t write back, which was just as well.
===
Docking was less of a hassle on Cadmus than on Atalanta. Alex wasn’t allowed on the bridge during the actual docking, but Tracht came to get him as soon as everything was over and had Alex run a bath for them.
Anna wasn’t actually waiting for them on the docks, which Tracht explained was due to the whole mess with Parsons. “I’m going to meet with Vasilis later today. The party has been postponed until a week from now.”
Thank god. Alex was about as eager to meet her as Tracht was about the party.
They spent the week going to meetings. They were mostly super boring, and Alex kind of wished he was allowed to do his own thing. It was endless talk about politics and shipments and haggling over how much it would cost to ship stuff to Atalanta or for the parts to repair the ship. At least he got to talk to some of the other staff when they were all booted out of the room for the more confidential discussions, and on one day, one of the female guards started flirting with him, which was kind of fun. See, he wasn’t as hideous as they all said.
Alex was not, however, allowed to go to the fancy birthday party.
“It would be incredibly amusing to have you along,” Tracht said while Alex kissed his boots, “but Anna would be insufferable. I’ll subject you on her when it isn’t a child’s birthday event.”
Tracht kissed Alex farewell and then told him to amuse himself.
Okay.
Alex tried to remember if there had been anybody on Cadmus that he actually liked, and the answer was pretty much no. Everybody he’d hung out with had been either “friends” of Nick’s, or they were connected to the Nilsen gang in some way. No way was Alex getting anywhere near them ever again.
He ended up wandering over to the main shopping center. He cringed when he passed the alley where he’d left Parsons passed out. Man, his life would have been so much easier if he hadn’t done that.
If he hadn’t tried to run away at all.
He stayed away from the back alleys he’d taken with Nick in their attempt to run.
Shopping was about as much fun as it had been last time. It was a smaller place, with fewer people, owing to Cadmus being a smaller station in general. Atalanta had to service all the ships that wanted to do business with Pylos, while Cadmus was really just a hub for the mining goods extracted from the planet below.
He did have the credit card Tracht had given him, with that ‘low limit.’ Alex tried to think of something he wanted to buy. Maybe a nice pair of boots, like Tracht wore. Yeah. Heavy ones that he could use to kick somebody if they pissed him or Tracht off.
That would actually be kind of fun. Alex smiled a bit and walked towards the closest shoe store. Cadmus would have really good boots too, because so many of the people on station had to deal with the mining operations below. Alex wondered if they had steel-toed ones.
He was halfway to the store when Alex saw himself.
Or rather, he saw his own face as it had once been, with a straight nose and smooth cheek. The haircut was different too, an uneven cut that resembled how Alex had worn his hair before he’d joined Tracht.
The clothes were a bit dirtier and more rumpled than what Alex was wearing now, and there was a significant difference in their muscle mass.
Nick.
He sat casually on one of the benches, looking unbothered and at ease.
Alex froze. If Nick hadn’t spotted him yet, he could just turn around and leave. He could get the heck out of there without talking to him.
Or he could go over there and beat him bloody.
He waited too long, and Nick looked up. He smiled and waved. “Hey bro!”
Rage surged through Alex. He clenched his fists and stormed over, grabbed Nick’s shirt collar, and pulled him upright. “The hell are you doing here?”
And Nick, Nick didn’t even look scared. “Woah, calm your tits, bro. I’m here to see you!”
Calm your tits. Alex took hold of Nick’s arm and squeezed tightly. He had a nauseating thought of Nick seeing Alex when his body was deformed and soft—but no. It had to have been a coincidence. Nick always said stuff like that.
The pressure on Nick’s arm got him to take the threat seriously though. “Hey, hey, wait. Chill. I need to talk to you. Just hear me out, and then you can do whatever you want.”
“What I want is to kill you,” Alex growled. “I told you I never wanted to see your face ever again!” But he loosened his hold just enough for Nick to pull free.
Nick made a show of straightening his clothes and looking around. “Be careful, Alex. I think there’s security around.”
Alex took a look around, and yeah, one of the guards was eyeing them suspiciously. No wonder Nick hadn’t been scared. He was prepared to yell and get the guard involved.
Alex thought Tracht would probably back him up if things got down to it, but he wouldn’t be happy about it. And then Alex might end up sleeping in a cage or without food entirely.
Fine.
“You wanted to see me. You saw. I’m going now,” Alex said. He pushed Nick back and got a small thrill from how he stumbled.
He was ready to leave. He would just be bored on the ship, without risk of Nick showing up. Only—
“Hey, Alex. I’m sorry.”
Alex stopped. Slowly, he turned to face Nick again, and he saw the same expression on his face as when Parsons had apologized to him.
He didn’t know how to react, and in the end he just stood there, staring at Nick.
Nick rubbed his neck and gave a pained smile. “I thought a lot while we were apart. And it was hard, okay? I didn’t know how much I’d miss having you with me.”
“You abandoned me! And I told you I’d kick your face in if I ever saw you again!”
He tightened his fists and loomed closer. For a brief second, real fear flashed across Nick’s face, giving Alex a thrill of satisfaction.
Then Nick shook it off and grimaced. “I deserve that. I can’t expect you to forgive me, but I feel awful about how everything went down. But don’t tell me you didn’t miss me even a little bit?”
Was he lying? Alex couldn’t tell. But dammit, he couldn’t disagree. He did sometimes miss Nick, at the weirdest times, in between hating him.
Nick reached out and slowly patted Alex’s shoulder. “Come on. Let’s go have a few drinks and discuss this in private.”
“I can’t drink,” Alex argued. “I’ll get in trouble.”
Nick frowned lightly, but then shrugged. “No problem. A café then. You can have some water, I’ll get a spiked coffee.”
That wasn’t what Alex had meant, but sitting down wouldn’t do any harm. Tracht was going to be gone all evening, and wasn’t in a position to check where Alex was.
Besides, if Nick tried anything, Alex could always just leave. He shrugged off Nick’s hand and said, “Lead the way.”
Nick smiled brightly.
He took Alex to a café in a side hall of the shopping center, well away from the bustling area they’d been in previously. The café was fairly quiet, with prices on the higher end. Alex wondered if Nick actually intended to pay, or if he was planning to sneak out before anybody noticed.
They sat down, and Nick scooted his chair closer so that they could talk in low voices with each other. He flinched when Nick touched his shoulder again, but it wasn’t worth making a big deal over. Nick had always been a bit touchy-feely.
“So. What did you want to talk about?” Alex asked.
“Woah, what’s the hurry? Come on, let’s chat, catch up a bit. You look like you’re doing okay for yourself. Nice clothes.” Nick rubbed the fabric between his fingers.
Alex looked at his shirt. It was one of the normal ones he wore on the ship, not even the fancy clothes Tracht had him wear to meetings. But yeah, it was a lot nicer than what he used to wear. It was nicer than what Nick was wearing.
“So? What happened to your rich girlfriend?” Alex moved his chair away a bit, and he ignored the exaggerated frown on Nick’s face.
“Oh, her. It was all going well, only then somebody tipped her mom off that I was lying about who I was. I dunno. It was such a freak thing. Who would even know me on Cassiopeia?”
They both quieted down when the waiter came by to take their orders. Nick ordered his spiked coffee, and then looked at Alex. “What are you getting?”
“Nothing.” He was only a little bit hungry, and the only thing Tracht had okayed for him to eat were some leftovers on the ship.
Nick shook his head. “Hey, don’t worry, I’m buying. No need to be cheap.” He looked over at the waiter. “Forgive him, he’s not used to having money. He’ll get a glass of water and whatever the soup of the day is.”
“I’m not gonna eat it,” Alex said, but the waiter didn’t seem to care.
“Spiked coffee, water, and soup of the day.” The waiter left while Alex glowered at Nick.
“I didn’t want it.”
Nick patted Alex’s shoulder again. “You always get cranky when you’re hungry. Seriously, don’t worry about the cost.”
“It’s not the cost I’m worried about. Tracht monitors everything I eat.” Ah, shit. Alex hadn’t meant to confess that. Unlike Parsons, though, Nick didn’t make some huge show of outrage.
“For real? Talk about a control freak.” And that was it. Nick went on to describe some of what he’d done on Cassiopeia, Alex’s worries forgotten.
“—and then the mom arrives with like, three armed guards. My girlfriend was crying, saying that she’d never leave my side, but I knew I wouldn’t last long if I stuck around. And man, I’d been missing you before, but I started missing you really hard when I was alone again.”
Man, sitting with Nick, shooting the shit like old times made Alex feel kind of nostalgic.
“I did miss you a bit,” Alex said. “I saw that movie again. Um, the horror movie with the really gory deaths? And the slutty character with the really bad acting?”
Nick smiled brightly and snapped his fingers. “Yeah, yeah! I remember. Was the death face still as funny as we thought it was?”
“Yeah! Funnier. Well, except I was watching it with some boring guy who didn’t see why I was laughing.”
“What? But come on, his face was all—” Nick did an impression of the death face, and Alex had to crack up, because it was a perfect imitation.
They talked more about movies they’d seen, and Alex mentioned the one he’d watched with Nadia, and Nick gave him a summary of one the ones he’d watched by himself. He talked about some of the stuff he’d gotten up to as well, funny anecdotes of people he’d conned before he’d taken up with the rich girlfriend.
The waiter brought their drinks and the soup, all while Nick chatted. Alex couldn’t help but smile and laugh. God, it was all so familiar. He’d thought he’d wanted to beat Nick up, but Nick had apologized, and he’d missed Alex, and dammit, they’d been together for almost all of their lives. They’d been through some really terrible shit together.
Maybe Tracht was wrong, and Nick wasn’t using Alex. Maybe he’d just made a really bad call. Nobody could have expected Tracht to be as thorough as he was. Alex tried to think of himself on the other side of things, with Nick as Tracht’s bondservant.
That made him feel kind of sick, but he focused on himself, trying to rescue Nick. And he didn’t think there was any way he could have done it. The moment Tracht took Nick into space, that woulda been the end of it. Staying on Cadmus and waiting was... okay, that was probably what Alex would have done, but Nick was usually smarter than Alex. The Nilsens might have tried to take it out on him anyway, despite the bondservant thing.
“You really not eating?” Nick pointed at the soup. “It looks really good.”
It really did, and Alex’s stomach twinged lightly, reminding him that it had been a while since lunch.
He shook his head. “No. You can have it.”
Nick shrugged and picked up the spoon. “Suit yourself.”
Watching Nick drink the soup was almost worse torture. Alex looked away and tried to find some way to distract himself. He ended up digging his nails into his wrist and focusing on that pain.
“So, hey,” Nick said, setting his spoon aside. He’d eaten about half of the soup. “I know we fucked it up last time. But I have a way we could actually escape together. Forget Cassiopeia. We book it to Atlanata, from there to Persephone, and then we can catch a ship through a gate to… wherever. We’d be home free for sure.”
Wait, what? Alex tensed. “That doesn’t sound any better than your last plan. No.”
“Aw, come on! I didn’t know who your buyer would be the first time, or that he’d be so well connected. But I made a couple of friends who are much, much better at sneaking people on and off stations.”
Running away the first time had been stupid. Running away again? Alex didn’t even want to consider what Tracht would do to him. Especially after… after all that stuff with Parsons.
“No.” Alex stood up and glared at Nick. “Is that what you really wanted? Just to have me as your patsy again?”
“What? No! Why would you think that?” Nick took hold of Alex’s wrist and pulled, urging Alex back down. It would be easy to break free and just leave.
Alex sat. “I think that because you’ve always done it! Every single thing you do, I end up paying the price for it.”
“Where’d you get that idea? I’m here to save you!” Nick let go and pushed the soup at Alex. “For one, screw that guy. I can tell you’re hungry, Alex. And for another, we’ve always been there for each other. There was no good way to get us both out of it last time. It would have done us no good for me to end up dead or arrested.”
Everything Nick said made sense. It always made sense, even when Alex was getting beat up or screwed over.
The soup tempted him. It must have been half cooled by then but even so, Alex could feel his stomach pinching. “But I—no. If he catches me—”
Nick picked up the spoon and placed it in Alex’s hand. “He’s not going to catch you. There are no cameras here, I won’t tell him, you won’t tell him. Just eat.”
“I don’t want to run away,” Alex said, gripping the spoon tight. “Like, forget about that.”
“I think you’re crazy to want to stay, but fine. At least eat.” Nick maneuvered Alex’s hand holding the spoon to the bowl. “Show me you aren’t a complete pussy, waiting for orders to even breathe.”
The hell? Alex pulled his hand away from Nick and glared. “I’m not a pussy. I’m just trying to be smart.”
“Yeah, and smart is knowing when you can bend or ignore the rules. You really gonna starve yourself just because he told you to?” Nick raised his eyebrows at Alex.
Fuck it. Alex set the spoon down, picked up the bowl, and drank it all straight.
Huh. It tasted okay. His stomach appreciated it, but it wasn’t anywhere near as good as what he ate with Tracht. He set the bowl back on the table and crossed his arms. “Satisfied?”
Nick smiled and clapped him on the shoulder. “That’s the spirit! Now come on, let’s get out of here and find some place fun to really catch up.”
They paid—Alex was extremely surprised that Nick did, in fact, pony up for the bill—and headed back into the shopping center. Alex followed after Nick, listening to him chatter, trying to figure out how long he had until he had to get back to the ship.
Between one step and the next, Alex’s thoughts turned fuzzy. He stumbled forward and felt Nick’s hands catching him. “Woah there, bro. Looks like you had too much to drink.”
Huh? No. Alex hadn’t had anything. Just… just the soup. There was something about that, something important.
“Come on, let’s find a place for you to sleep it off.”
But—Alex shook his head and tried to step away from Nick, but his limbs were weak, not cooperating with him at all.
He had to… he had to tell Tracht. Tell him something. Tell him that—