Mateo needed a drink. A strong one.

The decision to save Selena had been an instinctual one. She’d been in danger, and he did what he needed to do. No thinking, no logic, just action. Like his decision to come back in the first place.

He wasn’t sure how he’d jumped off the cliff and saved her, though. It wasn’t as if he could fly. Wings hadn’t sprung from his back, nor had he flown the two of them back to the top. It was more like jumping and levitating and shit.

He’d known a few vampires who’d developed supernatural skills after consuming the blood of their bonded blood-mates, but he hadn’t consumed Selena’s blood. At least not recently, and it was just the one time. And she certainly wasn’t his mate.

She stood on the far side of the room now, clearly upset. He wanted to go to her but knew she needed this space. “I want to know what happened that night,” she said. “Everything.”

It was a conversation Mateo had dreaded for years. Confessing what he’d done to the woman he’d once loved wasn’t exactly high on his bucket list.

“I…almost killed you.” Saying those four words nearly split him in two.

“On the beach?” she asked quietly, her tone measured.

He didn’t want to relive that night, but he had to. “You cut yourself on a piece of driftwood. Remember? You were running barefoot on those logs.”

She furrowed her brow, then shook her head.

He continued. “There was some blood, but I wasn’t affected by it, so I thought, no big deal. But when we got into the closed confines of the car to head back, the scent hit me like a sledgehammer, and it was impossible to ignore.”

He’d seen the terror in her eyes when he attacked her, but hadn’t cared. All he’d been focused on was her blood. Just like his parents had warned. When it was over, his car was in a ditch, their friends had scattered, and Selena lay lifeless in his arms. So he did the only thing he could do. He’d called his father for help.

Selena remained silent for a few moments now, processing what she’d just learned. “Why didn’t you answer my texts and calls? Even my dad tried to reach you, but it was like you suddenly didn’t love or care about me any more. And then I heard you were gone.”

Pain twisted his gut, sharp as the twist of a knife blade. “I wanted to call you, Selena—it fucking killed me—but I couldn’t. I’d made a deal with my father.”

She spun to face him, eyes flashing with anger. “Your father? What does he have to do with any of this?”

“It probably doesn’t come as a surprise that my parents didn’t approve of our relationship.”

“Of course I knew that,” she frowned. “I just didn’t know why, but I guess I know now.”

“They’d told me I’d never be able to resist you once I went through my Time of Change when a young vampire’s craving for blood begins. And they were right. The entire time we were together, they insisted I break things off with you. But I was stubborn and refused to listen. Thought I would be able to control the urges. Which I did for a while.”

“And then,” she prompted.

“And then…that night happened…and I made a deal with him. In exchange for your life, I was to leave the island and never try to contact you. So that’s what I did. He was able to revive you with a little of his blood, then he called in a few favors. Evidence was covered up, everyone’s minds were wiped. At sundown the next night, I left the island and never came back. Until now.”

“You traded our future together for my life,” she said quietly.

He didn’t see it as a trade-off or choice. It was the only option there was.

Brows furrowed, she chewed on her lip. “Did your parents ever tell you I came looking for you?”

“You did?”

She nodded. “After I got out of the hospital, I came up several times, but they wouldn’t let me past the front gate. Said you were gone and they refused to tell me where or how to get ahold of you.”

His father was such an asshole that it didn’t surprise him. “I’m sorry, Selena. The thing is, my parents were right, and I was wrong. I…I did almost kill you. Despite my best intentions, I wasn’t able to control myself.” He could still hear her screams. And yet he hadn’t stopped. He’d sunk his fangs into her neck and drank. And drank. And drank.

He looked down and saw the hands of a monster.

“But you’re able to control yourself now.”

His head shot up. She was looking at him, not with revulsion in her eyes, but with compassion. Concern. “You call almost attacking you in your kitchen tonight being in control of myself? I tasted Sweet and wanted more!”

How could hearing the truth about what he’d done four years ago not horrify her? With no actual memory of that night, maybe this was just a story, like reading a book where bad things happened to fictional people. Or seeing a movie. Listening to what happened that night didn’t feel like reality to her.

“You could’ve attacked me tonight, but you didn’t. You’re stronger than you think you are.” Before he could reply to that nonsense, she asked, “What are your plans now?”

“They haven’t changed. I’m going to find who’s responsible for collecting your blood and take them out.” And he’d start with her customer who had the Sweet-laced truffle fetish.

“And then…”

He looked at her, not sure what she was asking. “Then what?”

“What about me? What about us? You said yourself that humans can’t know of your existence.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose. There is no us. Not any longer. There can never be an us. “The Council’s rules on that issue are specific.”

She was quiet for a few moments. When she spoke again, her voice was quiet. “So when all of this is over, you’re going to wipe my memory and leave.”

He turned away from her. “Yes.”