ALICIA
Rider leads me out the door and we start down the path. There's nothing but the sounds of nature around us and the occasional loud truck driving down the road in the distance.
When we're a good distance from the house, I turn to him. "I don't know what to think. I considered her a friend, and she disappeared. Now, here she is."
I can tell he's still pissed. It's clear as day in the way his face is hardened and his movements are stiff. "Do you believe what she said?" he asks. "That she regrets everything?"
"You didn't see the tears in her eyes that she kept blinking back?" He shakes his head. "She's sincere, but I'm not sure that excuses all she's done. I get she was hurt and lost her parents, but she hurt others in return. However, if we take her at her word, she doesn't do it anymore. I can't imagine Rowe being a detective and letting her get away with it if she’s still stealing."
"No, me neither. His moral compass wouldn't do well if she was still stealing while living with him. Being a cop is in his blood. He must really love her to be with her, regardless of what she’s done."
"So, now what? What are we supposed to do? She's a thief, and you've been searching for her for so you can solve that case."
"I'm not sure. Maybe we do what they ask? Get to know her. Get a feel for the situation. I'm not going to lie and say this doesn't go against everything in me. All of my years on the force and doing what's right are important to me, but I trust Rowe. I think we give them a shot and make our decision at the end of the week."
"Our?"
"Yeah." He peers down at me. "Whatever decision we make at the end of the week will be a joint one. I want you to feel comfortable with it since you got hurt by her. We'll talk it through and take it from there." I nod.
Part of me knows it's a little ridiculous to still be hurt by someone who I thought was a friend and disappeared. People have been using me for years, but there was something different about her. I thought she was genuine, and maybe that's why it stings more. Now, I find out she's not who I thought she was. She's a thief, and I had her in my home where she could have taken anything. She didn't, but the opportunity was there. I'm an open person and like to believe the best in people, well, I did until I recently became more jaded. This whole thing is a mess.
Rider and I walk a while longer until we hear a noise that has all the hair on my arms standing up, and we rush back to the cabin. I might be pissed at Hope, but I don't want to take my chances with a bear or something else that could attack us. Nope. I don’t need to be an animal’s lunch.
Inside, we find Hope in tears and Rowe quietly comforting her. It hurts me a little that she's so upset. I don't want her to think I hate her, just that she hurt me, as well.
Walking over to her, I ask, "Can we talk somewhere?"
She nods and stands. We walk through the kitchen to a sliding door leading out to a small deck and their backyard. The area is cleared of brush and trees for a couple of acres, leading to the tree line that surrounds most of the cabin and the trail we were just on.
"There are no animals that wander into your yard, right?" I ask. "We heard something out on the trail, and I have no idea what it was.”
She sniffles. "We have brown bears, but they don't bother us, and we don't bother them. I have to admit, when I first moved here, they scared the fuck out of me. I've gotten used to them, though."
"I'm not sure I could."
She takes a deep breath before letting it out. I give her time and wait to hear what she's going to say as I let the serenity of where we are surround me.
"Rowe flipped my world upside down when I met him. It was after I left your house. I was in a bar, trying to escape my head for a while, when he sat at the table next to mine. Since then, he's been a constant presence in my life. Well, except for the time when I ran from him and he followed me here." She turns to me. "I'm not the same person anymore. I don't do those things I used to. I know what I told you before is no excuse for what I've done, but it's the truth. Rowe didn't think it was a good idea to invite you and Rider up here, but the guilt has been eating away at me. After we were living here a while, I tried to talk him into taking me in and arresting me, but he refused. He loves me so much and, half the time, I don't think I deserve it. The other half, I fear he's going to realize what a stupid mistake he made by being with me and leave."
"He married you," I say softly. I can't imagine him running after knowing who she really is and still deciding to marry her. That's not something a man who's confident and sure does.
"He did. I have no fucking idea why. I love him like crazy. To the point it hurts when he's not near. I depend on him. He's the only thing keeping my head above water. I still miss my parents and, without stealing, I have no way to get that high anymore. I'm happy with Rowe. Stupidly happy, but if he left, I'm not sure what I'd do."
"You can't let your doubt over your relationship chip away at you like that. It will ruin things between you." It almost feels like we're back to being friends. Though, I wonder how much of what we talked about all that time ago was genuine and how much was her being fake.
"He knows how I feel. He reminds me every day he loves me, and I'm not a bad person. I was just a teenager who lost her parents and didn't know how to deal with it. But that doesn't excuse it. I know that. You, Rider, and Rowe are the only ones who know about me. I'm living an honest life here. Not hurting anyone. I keep to myself. Rowe has tried to get me to make friends, but I refuse. The last thing I want to do is hurt anyone, so I stay home and do the wife thing when he's at work."
"I'm not sure where to go from here," I say honestly. "I'd be lying if I said you didn't hurt me when you left. I thought we were friends. So many people have used me throughout my life. I don't want that anymore. I put up a wall. Stopped dating and buried myself in work. At least, until Rider pushed his way into my life." Pushed isn't the right word, but it's what came out. Rider was like a tornado coming into my world, but in the best way.
"I've seen pictures of you two online. You look happy."
"We are. I wasn't sure if I'd ever find someone who made me happy like this. It seems everyone who talks to me has an agenda. Women want to be my friends, thinking I can get them into clubs or introduce them to wealthy men. Men want a piece of the action and love the idea of being with a woman who has money. None of them want me for me. None except Rider."
"I'm sorry you've had to endure that. I’m sorry I added to it. I didn't know. I didn't take the time to get to know anyone I stole from. It was all about me and the high. I didn't worry about anyone else getting hurt in the process."
I turn to her to fully take her in. She's thin—probably too thin—like she hasn't been eating well. There are dark circles under her eyes. It obvious she's remorseful about what she's done. We've all made mistakes in life. Doesn't everyone deserve a second chance? I think they do, although forgiving her for not only walking out on our friendship, but also stealing from so many people, might be hard to do. I’ll give it this week and see what happens.
"Can we start over?" I ask. "Not from scratch. I know that's not possible. But from the time we got here today? I want to get to know you—the real you."
She offers me a small smile. "I'd like that."
"No lies, Hope. I can't handle that. If we're going to be friends again, then I need to know everything you tell me is the truth and you're completely sincere."
She makes an x over her chest. "Cross my heart."
"I'm not sure where this will leave us at the end of the week, but I need to try to understand and learn about you.”
"That's all I'm asking."
"It's also going to take me a bit to get used to calling you Hope. I keep catching myself almost saying Riele."
"I wish I could turn back the clock. Do things differently with my life."
Reaching over, I squeeze her hand. "I know."
We've all done things in our lives we regret. Choices we would change if given a chance. But that's not the way things work. All we can do now is move forward and be our best self. Learn from the past. Move on and not let it keep hanging over us like a dark cloud.
I'm not proud of everything I've done. There have been pictures of me completely drunk, videos of me making an ass out of myself. It's not pretty, but it shows I'm flawed. We all are. It's about accepting who we are and learning our strengths to make us better. Helping others; doing what's right. Now it's my turn to put trust back in Hope. To give her this time to show us who she really is. It's also going to give me the chance to get to know Rowe. If he's as good of a guy as Rider says he is, then there must be something about Hope that keeps him with her and not trying to arrest her for her crimes. Love does strange things to us. And for Rowe, that was him falling in love with probably the last woman he ever would have imagined or risked loving.
We sit out back for a while longer. Not talking about anything heavy, just chatting as if we are old friends. Hope tells me about Alaska and what it's like to live there. I talk about the new club we opened and the work I’ve been doing. I have to admit, it's nice talking to her. Maybe, one day, I can call her a friend again. Maybe we can put the past behind us and live in the present. Only time will tell.