Chapter 13
“Well,” Miguel said, drawing the word out like he was trying to formulate his response. “The owner of the land can sell it at any time. If the pack set up house someplace they shouldn’t be—”
“Shouldn’t be?” I shouted, interrupting him. “How can the humans say the pack shouldn’t be there? How can they just take it over? Make it part of Kfarkattan? Miancarem’s been our pack lands for generations!” I slammed my finger on the map as I spoke.
Miguel pursed his lips and sighed deeply. “Now, you see? That’s the problem with shifters. Always thinking they’re better than everyone else, that their way is the only way. Well, there are rules about where people can build houses. Shifters can’t just go around taking what they want if it already belongs to someone else. But that’s exactly what they do because they think humans are so inferior that they can be ignored. But humans greatly outnumber shifters, they outnumber vampires. And it’s that kind of superior, arrogant—”
My jaw dropped and whatever appetite I had left deserted me. “You’re saying I’m superior and arrogant and…and…and I think I’m better than everyone else?” The hurt was clear from my tone.
“No, not you,” Miguel said in a rush. He leaned toward me and took my hand in his, kissing my palm. “Of course I didn’t mean you.”
I took a deep breath to calm myself and waited until our eyes met before speaking again. “I am a shifter, Miguel. I’m a mite different from the others, I suppose. And I’m your mate, so I’m leaving my pack. But that don’t change who I am. No matter how far away you take me, I will always be a shifter, hear? And I’m right proud of that. I’m not saying my kind’s perfect; nobody is. But there ain’t nothing wrong with valuing family and community, with setting down roots. Taking care of our own don’t make us arrogant or…or superior.”
He scoffed. “You’re saying shifters consider humans to be equal? Half-souls. That’s what shifters call them. Because only shifters have complete souls.” His final words were dripping with sarcasm. “That belief in their superiority is arrogance, pure and simple. And it’s been the death knell for many a pack.”
Miguel had answered his own question, and I couldn’t dispute it. But neither was I willing to agree with him. It didn’t sit right, bad-mouthing my own, my pack.
“And I suppose you’re saying your kind are different?” I snapped. “At least we leave the humans in peace. We’re not out attacking them during the night.”
“No, you’re just out attacking us!” He shoved his chair back and it tumbled to the ground. “Isn’t that right, Ethan? I mean, we met when you and your little friends decided to seek us out. We didn’t come to your precious pack lands. No, just like all the shifters, you sought us out. And why? Because shifters have decided that vampires aren’t worthy of being alive.”
He was right and I knew it, but my blood was boiling and the need to defend my kind was all I could feel.
“It’s no different than what you do to the humans. Don’t forget that I done saw you. You sought them out, attacked them, hurt them.” I was hitting below the belt and I realized it the moment I saw Miguel flinch. It was as if I could feel his reaction to my words—his shame, his pain. Immediately regretting having hurt my mate, I reached my hand out to him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”
“It’s okay,” Miguel said. But the sorrow rolling off him told me it was anything but okay. “I know you’ve seen me at my worst. It isn’t always like that, though.” He paused and furrowed his brow, looking lost in thought. “Actually, it’s almost never like that. We need the humans to survive, so we don’t aim to hurt them, not really. They’re a part of us; their blood runs through our veins. And, don’t forget, we started out as humans, all of us, before we were turned. Also, like I already told you, some humans like how they feel after we’ve fed from them. They seek us out.” He dropped his gaze and chewed on the side of his lip. When he spoke again, it was quieter. “Most vampires can usually get by feeding every two or three months, depending on how much they take. And it doesn’t have to be enough to really hurt the human. It’s been different for me in recent times, harder to control. I need more blood than the others. But no matter how much I take, it’s never enough.”
“It is now,” I said. “You weren’t hungry after you drank from me. That’s what you said,” I said, trying to soothe the pain I’d caused, and also wanting to remind him that he belonged to me now.
“Yes, that’s right.”
“Well, there you go, then. They weren’t enough for you, the humans, and I am. I’m a part of you now. It’s my blood running through your veins.”
Miguel beamed and reached for me. “Come here, wolf,” he said as he picked his chair up, settled in it, and patted his thighs.
I got up off my seat and went to my mate. He clasped my waist, those big hands reminding me of his strength and power, which made my breath catch in my throat and my heart quicken. Without saying another word, he pulled me down so I was straddling his lap, our groins pressed together, my backside on his thick, muscular thighs. Then he pushed one hand under my shirt, rubbed circles on my back, and combed the other through my hair.
“Are we through fighting?” he asked me.
“I wasn’t fighting none,” I mumbled disgruntledly and dropped my chin.
“No?” He tangled his fingers in the hair on the back of my head and tugged until my eyes met his. “My mistake.”
He stared at me, his gaze unwavering, eyes unblinking.
“I want to kiss you,” I said breathlessly, the need sudden and powerful.
“I’m all yours, wolf,” he replied, the words designed to ramp me up further.
We leaned toward each other, and our mouths met in the middle, lips tugging, tongues tangling. I relaxed in his lap, rested against his broad chest, draped my arms over his wide shoulders, and combed my fingers through his silky hair.
“Mmm,” I sighed after several long minutes of necking. “I like kissing you.”
He cupped my cheek and kissed the tip of my nose. “You’re good at it.”
“Yeah?” I gave him a small smile. “I’m glad.”
Miguel peered into my eyes. He furrowed his brow. “You’re still upset,” he said.
“Not at you,” I assured him. “But”—I flicked my gaze over the map—“my pack lives in Miancarem, my family.”
“Yeah,” he said, and then he took in a deep breath. “But you don’t live there anymore.” He took my chin in his hand and held me still, locking his gaze on mine. “Right?”
I trembled. He’d pushed me away from the moment I’d met him, and right then, it felt like he was pulling me closer. It felt good.
“Yes.”
“All right, then. You’re leaving anyway, so it doesn’t matter who owns that land.”
I cocked my head to the side and furrowed my brow. I was confused by his reaction. “’Course it matters,” I said. “It don’t rightly matter if I live there or not. My pack is there, Miguel. My family.”
He stared at me, and I could tell he was thinking about what I’d said, trying to figure it out. Did he not have family? Was that why he didn’t understand? As I thought about it, I realized I didn’t know much about vampires. Mostly I’d heard stories about vampires being immoral, heard they fixated on the carnal, that they had no sense of loyalty or commitment. I knew they couldn’t be in the sun, knew they fed on human blood but were allergic to shifter blood, and knew they were skilled fighters. ’Course one of those things hadn’t turned out to be true. At least not when it came to my mate and my blood.
“Miguel?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you, uh—” I gulped and licked my lips, trying to figure out how to ask about his past without causing him pain. “Do you have family?”
“No,” he answered simply.
I thought that’d be it, that he wasn’t going to say no more. And based on his expression, the hardness in his eyes, I reckoned that was how I’d need to leave it. I wanted to know more about my mate, sure enough, but it’d come in time. Or it wouldn’t. I’d be able to deal with either outcome. I had him and he wasn’t fixin’ to leave me behind. That was the only thing that meant anything. I held him tight, rested my head on his shoulder, buried my face into his neck, and inhaled his scent. He smelled right fine.
“I had a family once, obviously,” he said, catching me off guard after many long minutes of silence. “But they died a long time ago. Before I was turned. Except for my youngest sister. She lived. Had a son and a granddaughter, even. But Sheila was killed young, and our line ended with her.”
My heart ached for him, for the pain he must have endured after losing all his kin. “I’m sorry,” I rasped, my throat thick with emotion.
“Nothing to be sorry about,” he answered, his voice clear and strong, showing no indication that we were talking about something horrible, tragic. “It was a very long time ago. Before even your great-grandparents were born.” He chuckled darkly. “Hell, it was long past that.”
I kissed his neck tenderly. “I’m still sorry, Miguel,” I said. He shrugged and grunted. “I have a sister too,” I added, figuring I should share with him if I expected him to share with me. “She has five boys. Just the other day, she told me she’s expecting again. She’s right certain it’ll be a girl this time. Two, actually. Twins.”
“She’s the one I scented?” he asked. “That night in the alley, after you were gone. She’s the one who came for you?”
I nodded. “Yes. That was Crissy. She left pack lands without anybody knowing, not even her husband. She came all on her own to collect me and take me on home to Miancarem.” I tipped my head back and met his gaze. “She’s strong, my sister. Special.”
Miguel met my gaze and something passed in his eyes, emotions I couldn’t recognize.
“I can’t fix things for them if they insist on thumbing their noses at the humans,” he said eventually. “But if they’re willing to cooperate with them, to work in the system, I can help them keep their land. I can probably even manage to create a barrier between Miancarem and Kfarkattan, enough that the pack lands will never be a highly populated city.”
“Really?” I sat up straight and felt the tightness in my chest loosen. “You can do that?”
“Not me. Them. I said I can help them. I can’t do it for them, Ethan. If those shifters can’t learn to live in the world, they won’t be living a generation from now. I’ve been around a long time. When I was your age there were twice as many packs as there are now. Did you know that?”
Know? Probably not. But I’d heard tale of packs that weren’t around no longer. Actually… “I’ve heard folks say vampires came after some packs. Burned down dens, schools. That’s why the pack don’t want vampires around, why we try to scare them away when they come near. We’re just defending—”
“Bullshit,” he snapped. I stayed silent, waiting for an explanation. I was starting to get to know my mate, starting to understand that his reactions were a mite rough, that it took him a bit to share, but share he would. “That’s yet another ridiculous story shifters came up with to justify their actions. We have no reason to go after them. I was there, Ethan. Maybe not for every pack, but for enough of them to know why they’re gone. More humans came and the land changed around them. The shifters refused to adapt. Some took to their animal forms. Others fled. Vampires had no part in it. We stayed away.” He closed his eyes and shook his head, disgust clear on his face. “We mind our own business. But like I told you, we need the humans, we were humans. When the shifters decided to destroy everything around them, when they went after the humans, burning down buildings and trees, thinking that’d keep the humans away, vampires stopped them. We didn’t go looking for a fight. That’s the shifter way, not ours. If anybody was defending, it was us. Vampires defended humans. We defended the land shifters said they considered precious until somebody else wanted it. That was us, the soulless bloodsuckers. Us.”
My brain raced, trying to catch up to what Miguel said, to his version of events. It was too much to process at once, too horrible to be possible. And yet, there was enough familiarity there to make me pause before I denied it outright. What would my kind do if our pack lands were threatened by the humans? How would we respond? Would we behave exactly like Miguel said? A cold shiver racked my body. I didn’t want to find out.
“Will you help us?” I beseeched him. “Please?”
“You don’t need to beg me, baby,” he said, losing that hard edge he’d had just moments prior. “I’ll try to help your kind.” I’d breathed a sigh of relief and opened my mouth to thank him when he cupped my cheeks and pierced me with his gaze. “But listen to me carefully. If they don’t listen, if they start to fight, they’re on their own. I’m taking you and leaving this town, leaving this state, maybe the nation. We will be long gone before they can get to you.”
“They won’t,” I insisted, shaking my head. “Shifters protect our own. My pack might not understand me, but they won’t hurt me.”
He scoffed but didn’t dispute my words, at least not out loud. “Even if you’re right that they won’t go after you physically, staying here and watching what a pack can do to itself, how they can destroy everything they claim to hold dear… Watching what can happen to your family—” He shook his head and gulped, deep pain flashing for a moment in his dark eyes. “I won’t let them hurt you. I’ll try to help them, but if they refuse, we’re leaving.”
I couldn’t respond; there was simply too much emotion coursing through me. Fear, sure enough. I was afraid for my kin, afraid for my pack, afraid for myself. But also there was a joy so profound it warmed me to my core. Miguel might write off our pack history and how we were made as an absurd superstition. He might dispute the concept of true mates. But his actions, his feelings, showed me all I needed to know. What I felt for my mate was being reflected right back at me, just as strong, just as sure.
“Ethan?” he said, bringing my attention back to our conversation. “Do you understand?”
“Yes,” I answered. With as much as I didn’t know in that moment, I understood everything of consequence.