Chapter 16

Addison

Kayla stepped away from the intercom and sat down on the sofa beside me. “Well, that’s done.”

I nodded, feeling like I’d just made a huge fucking mistake. That would be par for the course this week.

“Are you sure about what just went down?” she asked, searching my face. “He seemed like a really nice guy.”

“He’s a stripper,” I said flatly. “He takes his clothes off in front of horny women for money.”

Kayla shrugged. “There are worse ways to make a buck.”

“That might be true, but I can’t be in a relationship with a guy who doesn’t save his body for me alone.”

“You’ve got a point,” Kayla said, leaning back. “It’s just too bad. He sounded like he was really upset.”

Colton had sounded upset. I’d expected him to maybe be disappointed, but he’d been shouting into the intercom like his life had depended on me hearing him. Was it possible that I meant more to him than just a hot chick he liked to fuck?

“Are you sure he can’t change?” Kayla asked. “I mean, you said he got this job in the kitchen like he’s always wanted. Maybe that will be enough to get him off the pole, so to speak.”

“But why can’t I be enough?” I said, not liking how whiney it sounded. “He said he wanted to be together with me in one breath, then in the next he was talking about only stripping for pleasure.”

Kayla laughed. “He was probably talking about stripping for you, you ninny.”

I frowned. Could she be right? He had been playful this morning. Even so, it wasn’t something he should be joking about. He knew it was a sensitive issue between us. “It doesn’t matter,” I said at last. “It would never work between us. All we have is hot sex. I’ll admit that it’s tremendous, but that doesn’t make for a strong relationship.”

“You’ve barely had a chance to explore a relationship,” Kayla reminded me gently. “You don’t really know what type of person he is. So far, he seems like a stand-up guy. He rescued you from your ex-boss, brought you flowers, encouraged you to aim high, built back up your self-esteem after you got fired. He’s been here for you. So why not give him a chance?”

“Do you really think he can change?” I asked, wondering if maybe Kayla wasn’t on to something.

“You know, there’s one way we can definitively find out if he can.”
My eyebrows shot up. “How?”

“We can call him and try to book a gig.”

I stared at her in amazement. “You’re one devious bitch,” I breathed.

Kayla laughed. “I prefer ‘clever,’ but I’ll take it.” She pulled out her phone. “What’s his number?”

I went to my bedroom and dug out his card, carrying it back to Kayla. She dialed the number and waited for him to answer. When he did, she said, “Colton Lowe? I’d like to hire you for a gig.”
I held my breath, praying he would give the right answer. My hopes crashed and burned when Kayla said, “Christmas Eve. I’ll pay you double.”

My friend gave him directions to the design studio space she kept behind her costume shop, then hung up the phone. “I’m sorry,” she said softly. “I was really hoping you could trust him.”

“I guess I can’t blame him,” I said, tears starting to fall down my cheeks. “You did offer to pay him double. Maybe I’m in the wrong line of work myself.”

Kayla pulled me into her arms and stroked my hair. “Hey, don’t kid yourself. You’re a terrific dancer. You’ll find something soon, I know it.”

“Thanks,” I mumbled, pulling away to find a tissue to blow my nose. I passed a mirror and looked at my reflection. I was a hot mess. Hair every which way, red nose, puffy eyes. No wonder Colton was seeking the company of other women.

Not to mention I was broke. Just another black mark against me.

“Call him back and cancel,” I told Kayla. “No reason for him to come out on Christmas Eve for nothing.”

“Fuck that,” Kayla replied cruelly. “Let him freeze his ass off behind my shop for an hour, waiting for me to show up. And then let him be out all the money he’d thought he had. It still wouldn’t be enough to punish him, but it’s a start.”

I laughed. “That’s harsh.”

Kayla shook her head. “No, you know what would be harsh? Let him show up, and you be there to confront him. Keep the lights dim until he starts dancing, and then let him know it’s you. Tell him you always knew he was a piece of shit, and that he doesn’t deserve you. And he’d be out the money as well. He’d be totally screwed.”

I frowned. That idea didn’t appeal to me at all. There was no need to confront him. He’d made his choice.

Just once I wanted to be the first choice for something. I’d thought it had been getting the lead in the Nutcracker. That had went bust. And now Colton was choosing his wallet over me. Either his wallet or the high he got from dancing for other women.

What did it matter? I trudged back to the sofa and sat quietly while Kayla tried to cheer me up with Christmas movies and hot cocoa. I was glad when she finally left so I could sulk in my bed and try to sleep.

The days went by at an iceberg’s pace. With no job, no family in town and nowhere to go, all I had to do was sit and stare at the snowflakes tumbling down outside my window. I missed Colton more than I thought possible. We’d only seen each other a few times, but in those short hours I’d grown closer to him than I could have imagined. I wanted his arms around me. Wanted to hear his voice. To smell his scent. To taste his skin again.

But wanting wasn’t getting. The days stretched on before me filled with longing. Then it was Christmas Eve and I was celebrating by making myself a few dozen cookies. There was no reason to watch my weight anymore. No one would hire me anyway.

The intercom buzzed. It was Kayla, demanding to be let up. I wasn’t expecting her. The big parade was tomorrow, and I thought she’d be staying up all night sewing miniature trees on red felt costumes.

“Smells good in here,” she said when she bustled inside and took off her coat. I handed her one of the cookies. “Mmm, still warm,” she said around a mouthful.

“Don’t you have work to do?” I asked, sitting down and picking up the remote to flip through the channels, past holiday classic after holiday classic. It seemed the whole world was full of Christmas cheer. Well, everyone but me.

“Finished early,” she said, sitting down beside me. “I’ve got the early morning fittings to do, but until then, I’m golden.”

Kayla looked tired. I knew she’d struggled through late trains and cold weather to come see me. I loved my best friend and was glad to see her. Wallowing in self-pity was lonely business.

“Wanna order Chinese?” she asked, grabbing the remote away and setting the TV on the tale of a young boy and his quest for an air rifle for Christmas. It played on a loop this time of year and I’d seen it a billion times before.

I shrugged, my belly already swollen from the number of cookies I’d shoved into it.

“Now I know something’s wrong,” Kayla said, giving me a hard look. “You always get excited for Chinese. All those carbs in the noodles, remember?”

“It’s no longer forbidden fruit,” I said. “I can eat as much as I want and it doesn’t matter. No one is going to fuck me anyway.”

I’d been about to say ‘hire me anyway,’ but ‘fuck me’ had come out instead. Interesting.

Kayla recoiled in shock. “Wow. I don’t know where this is coming from. You’re the hottest chick I know.”

I rolled my eyes. “The hottest chick with no job, no prospects, no life, and no boyfriend.”

Kayla frowned. “That last one is remedied easily enough. The guy you want is probably headed to my shop right now. Why don't you go and meet him?”

I blew air through my pursed lips. “Why? Nothing’s changed. He’s headed to your shop to take off his clothes for some woman.”
“Yeah, and that woman could be you.”

“Kayla, why in the hell would I do that? He said he was going to change, but he didn’t.”

“Yeah, surprisingly he didn’t quit stripping right away after the girl he wanted rejected him. Can you really blame him? You had just shat all over his hopes and dreams.”
I covered my face, confused. “You think I should give him another chance?”

Kayla pulled my arms down and stared into my eyes. “Yes. Go to the gig. Confront him. Tell him you want something serious, but that means no more stripping, ever. If he agrees to stop and then goes behind your back to continue, you’ll know he’s the scum of the earth and never talk to him again. But if he doesn’t…”

If he doesn’t, I could have the man I want all to myself.

“I can’t even believe I’m considering this,” I said, standing up and heading to my closet to dig out something to wear.”

“Believe it, girl. If you want something bad enough, it will be worth all the effort you put into it when you finally get it.”

I smiled wryly. Yeah, but will I really get him?

There was only one way to find out.