Only Matt’s hand tightening around the coffee up prevented it from going tumbling to the floor. He was ignoring every instinct he had to run to Lauren’s side. Her face had turned white at the sight of him, and she’d swayed a little, even just sitting up in bed. He had a feeling getting any closer to her right now would only freak her out more, and so he forced his feet to stay glued to the floor in the doorway. That didn’t mean he could take his eyes off her. It had been almost eleven years since he’d last seen Lauren . . . Mancini. The name made him wince even from a thought. Damn, he wished he could hide that from her. She’d been Lauren Gallo the last time they’d been together, and he wished with all his heart that she still was, but he had to accept that she’d moved on with her life. Who could blame her? He’d disappeared in the middle of the night, without even saying goodbye. God, if he had that time to do over . . . 

Back then, he’d been a scared-as-hell seventeen-year-old. At the time, he’d thought of himself as all grown up, a man ready to face the world. Now, the truth was obvious. He’d been a kid, no more able to do anything about leaving Lauren than he’d been able to stop a monster from murdering his father. His dad had told him to run—he’d wanted him to survive. And so Matt had started running, and he hadn’t stopped. Not until he’d reached a town called Monroe, Georgia. The local pastor had taken him in when he’d found Matt cowering on a street corner one night, his stomach empty after what little food he’d managed to find had been taken by another man. He’d always been tall, but it had taken a while for him to grow into his body, and back then he’d been a gangly teen, all legs and no hope of standing up to a homeless man who was as hungry as he was and wanted Matt’s hard-fought-for meal.

Fortunately after that, life had become easier. He’d helped out at the church, gone to school, and learned—slowly—to trust again. He’d first met a bunch of firefighters when they’d come to his high school for career day. Then he’d seen them again playing basketball at a local youth club. They’d been fun to hang out with: no pressure, no stress, just a group of friendly guys offering him someone to hang out with. Pastor Gregory was a nice guy, but he was also about eighty years old. Having guys a little older than he was, whom he could actually talk to, some people he could trust . . . Matt hadn’t had that since the night Victor Mancini had murdered his father.

It had seemed only natural that he follow in the their footsteps, and it had been right there at the fire academy that he’d met Mason Rawlings, the man who would become his best friend. They’d been assigned to Company 81 together, and the rest was history. He’d been Matt Rivers, Mason’s best friend, Pastor Gregory’s foster kid, and firefighter . . . simple. Safe.

Until the fire at the Peachtree. His past had caught up with him in the most stunningly beautiful way. And he didn’t have a damn clue what to do with any of it.

He hadn’t been back. Not once in a decade. Matt was sure if he’d stepped one foot inside Philadelphia, then he would have ended up just like his father. That didn’t mean that he hadn’t kept an eye on her. He’d heard reports, tidbits of information from people whom he still had occasional contact with. It was scraps, but he’d taken what he could. He hadn’t been able to leave Lauren entirely, no matter how much his dad had told him to run and never look back. He’d known she’d gotten married, and that she’d had a son. Victor Mancini was a monster, but Matt had taken comfort in the fact that his son James didn’t seem to be following in his father’s footsteps. Unlike Victor, James actually was a businessman, and not the type you saw in mobster movies. Besides, those movies had never managed to live up to the truth, which was somehow even worse than Matt had ever imagined. James had seemed to want to get away from it all, to start a family and keep his nose clean, and so Matt had left them alone. He had to move on, and it seemed James was going to give Lauren a better life than he ever could.

But what had happened that had led to finding Lauren frantic, alone in a hallway filled with smoke? Where was James? Matt tore his eyes away from Lauren to look back over at her son. He seemed so old, not much younger than Matt had been when his entire world had changed in the blink of an eye. Had it really been eleven years since they’d seen each other? It some ways, it was hard to believe.

He smiled. Brayden was sleeping, but they’d had fun hanging out together the last few days. Matt had been off-shift, and it hadn’t felt right leaving the boy all alone or to go with child services until his mom recovered. There wasn’t any way he could call Lauren’s home. Having anyone from Victor’s family set foot in Monroe, even if they didn’t know Matt was there, was too dangerous. So instead, he’d stayed at the hospital, playing card games with Brayden, feeding him junk food and keeping him happy until his mom woke up. He’d managed to hide his own worry as long as there were potato chips and poker involved. Matt just had to hope Lauren would forgive him for teaching her son how to gamble.

He looked back over at Lauren. Shit. She was still pale, and a fine tremble had taken over her body. He couldn’t stand it any longer and took a few wide strides until he was standing by her bed. He smiled softly at her, trying not to worry too much when she didn’t return it. “Hi.” The word sounded pathetic even as left his mouth, but what could he say to her that would make up for what he’d done? At least he’d been able to keep her kid safe until she woke up. It wasn’t likely that she’d want him around, but at least he’d seen her face again. That wasn’t something he’d thought would ever happen again.

“Matt,” Lauren said. His name sounded like heaven and hell all at once. Her voice was quiet, calm even, but she had to be mad at him. Hell, she had to be furious. Or, maybe that was all old news to her now. She’d definitely moved on, gotten married, and started a family. It was exactly what she should have done. It was better that way, if he meant nothing to her anymore. It would make it easier to let her go when she returned home. “Matt,” she said again, then looked up at him, her eyes widened.

“Mom! You’re awake!” Lauren jumped and then her face split into a smile as Brayden almost tackled-hugged his mom. Matt stepped aside, making room for him to climb up on the bed next to Lauren. Maybe he should leave, give them some time together. He took another step toward the door. He’d wait somewhere, just around the corner, until he knew that Lauren was safe, and then he’d go back to his regular life—a life that didn’t include her. It couldn’t. Not anymore.

“Matt, don’t go, please!” Brayden’s voice stopped him in his tracks.

Matt turned back, plastering what he hoped was a convincing smile on his face. “I’m sorry, little buddy. It was great hanging out with you, but I think your mom is going to want some time with you.”

“But you can stay, too.” Brayden looked up at Lauren. “He can stay, right, Mom? Mr. Rivers taught me how to play cards and everything. I even won!”

“Did he now?” Lauren was smiling at her son, but as she turned to face Matt, her smile fell away and her expression grew hard. “Mr. Rivers, is it?”

Matt nodded. Damn, how was he going to explain without saying something he shouldn’t in front of Brayden? “I’m still Matt, Lauren. I’m so sorry for what happened back then. I just . . . it was better that I leave for a while.”

She blanched and turned to her son. “Brayden, you must be hungry, right?” He nodded. Matt supposed kids were always hungry, the way they grew. At that age, he’d considered three sandwiches a snack. “Can you go down the hall to a vending machine and get a snack while Mr. uhh, Rivers and I chat?” She fumbled around, looking in the chair beside the bed. “Damn it.”

Matt guessed the problem. He fished out his wallet and handed Brayden a couple of bills. “Go on, kid. It’s on me today.”

Brayden grinned and scooted off the bed, grabbing the offered money on his way out the door. “Thanks, Matt!”

Matt turned back to Lauren. “I hope that’s okay.”

Her expression was cool. “I think we’ve got bigger things to worry about than whether Brayden gets an extra chocolate bar today.”

Matt nodded. He was a complete idiot. “Of course. I’ll uhh, I’ll just get out of your hair. The hotel’s totaled, but someone should be able to help you and Brayden with whatever you need.” He swallowed. “Help you get in touch with your family.”

Lauren’s eyes widened again and she took in a sharp intake of breath. “Did someone call him? Fuck, I have to go. Right now.” Before he could make a move to stop her, she ditched the oxygen catheter, pushed the sheet aside, and stood. It lasted about three seconds before she wobbled precariously, and Matt shot out an arm to steady her. Her skin felt warm beneath his touch, and he shivered at the first contact they’d had since that night. The last time he’d seen her, they’d made love in the back of his car. His pride and joy back then, it had probably been a heap of junk, but it had had one advantage—a bench seat in the back. His dad was pretty strict. Add his connections with Mancini, and Matt hadn’t felt right about doing anything under his roof. His teenage hormones had stopped that rule from extending any further, especially when he’d had the most gorgeous girl in the entire town on his arm. She’d been an escape from the rest of his life, from the world his dad and Victor Mancini had sucked him into. Matt jerked his hand back. And then he’d gone and left her to the same wolf who had taken his childhood. Lauren hadn’t been able to escape any more than he had, in the end. He should have realized that, should have gotten her out, too.

He watched as Lauren stood again. “Where are my clothes? Matt, I need to go.”

He finally realized the source of her panic. She’d thought someone had called James. Matt frowned. What had he missed in the last few years? Had he been wrong about his assessment of Lauren’s husband? Was he just like his father? Fuck, was he hurting her? Matt’s hands tightened into fists. If anyone wanted to hurt Lauren, or her son, they’d have to get through him first. But first, he had to stop Lauren from bolting out of the hospital room when she could barely stand. “No one called anyone, Lauren.” He didn’t add that it was because he wanted to be far away from the hospital before anyone from Philly showed up, but he hadn’t been able to make himself leave while Lauren was still sleeping.

She sat on the bed with a plop, all the fight gone out of her. “Are you sure? No one’s called Victor?”

Matt’s blood ran cold at the name, but he forced himself to focus on Lauren. Victor? Why would they call anyone but Lauren’s next of kin? What was he missing? “Lauren. What’s going on? Where’s James?”

She looked up at him, finally making eye contact. Tears shone in the corners of her eyes, and she swiped the drops away. Her next words shocked him to the core. “Matt, James is dead. And until ten minutes ago, I thought you were, too.”