Josephine

Josephine Landers braided her long red hair as she stared at her reflection in the mirror. Her green eyes showed the weariness and heartache she still felt inside. It never seemed to leave her. All the therapy and volunteer work had not helped relieve the guilt she held for her awful mistake. Sighing, she dismissed the beautiful woman in the mirror, seeing only the tormentor of stolen souls. She washed her face and slathered it with moisturizer. It wasn't because she cared about her appearance. It was just a habit from better days.

Josephine pulled an oversized t-shirt over her head and climbed into bed. She picked up her latest diary from the top of the stack on her bedside table. Five more sat there, one for each year since the trial, every page filled with her emotions. This was the sixth and it was almost finished as well. There had been so many years of regret since the experimental lab had been shut down by the FBI. She should have found a way to stop it long before that, but her eyes had been closed to the evilness of the project. It had taken a crisis to alert her to the damage they were doing. She tried to tell herself that her youth was an excuse for the inability to understand the suffering of the aliens, yet she knew that wasn't true. Valeri was young too, and she had seen the problems right away. In comparison, Josephine was a giggling, self-centered, uncaring child.

Reaching back to the bedside table, she slid out the bottom diary. She opened it to the first page and immersed herself in the past. Josephine had written about her excitement over her first nursing assignment. She was working for the prestigious Reginald Cavanaugh on a top-secret alien experiment. She had done her job for several years, never paying real attention to the aliens or their feelings. Then Valeri had come along and begun questioning the experiment. She saw it as cruel and became friendly with the alien subjects. Her attitude caused Josephine to wake up and notice what was happening around her. Reginald hadn't liked the new concern for his "creatures" and sent everyone on vacation. The nurses had returned to find Valeri in a panic. She had discovered that the aliens hadn't been fed, given water, or treated for their pain and injuries while the nurses were away. They were in dire straits. The crisis made Josephine finally see the aliens as more than "creatures." It was too late for the many that died from the experiments, but Valeri had rescued the ones left. The Milisarians came for their own people and took the Arkani as well. The FBI shut the experiments down. The aliens were nursed back to health and sent home to their native planets.

Josephine had continued to write about the trials. Reginald Cavanaugh had given evidence against the government officials involved, saving himself from execution. He was imprisoned instead. The other scientists were jailed also. Josephine and the other nurses had faired much better. They had upheld their duties to care for the sick and injured aliens. They hadn't even been aware that the aliens had been captured and held against their will. The nurses were given one-year probation and humanitarian volunteer work.

In court, Josephine was confronted with picture after picture of the atrocities that were performed in the name of science. She was appalled at her inattentiveness all those years. When they showed her photos of the aliens that had been killed after they were no longer useful, she had thrown up on the stand. She didn't deserve to be set free. She had tried to punish herself during the first year. Josephine had volunteered for every project to help aliens she could find. She worked constantly and ate little. She slept even less. Her health declined to the point of hospitalization. Her mother had stepped in and forced her to go to therapy. It helped somewhat, but she still felt the need for penance.

The phone was ringing. Josephine came out of her trance and looked at the caller ID. She rolled her eyes in frustration. Her mother was calling once again. She didn't want to answer, yet she knew she would. There wouldn't be many more phone calls before she left Earth behind and she owed her mother some attention. If her mother hadn't forced her into therapy, she wouldn't be alive today.

Josephine picked up the phone and said, "Hello, mother. How was your day?"

Her mother replied, "It wasn't too bad. Dad had to work late, so I'm on my own tonight. Come over, and we'll watch movies. We can have a girl's night and a gossip fest."

"I'm already in bed, and I have to get up early. Maybe we can do it another night before I leave." Josephine regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth. She shouldn't have reminded her mother that she was leaving soon. It would change the whole tone of the conversation.

"You're still planning on that ridiculous trip into space? Why would you do such a thing?"

"You know better than anyone why I'm doing it," answered Josephine. "I owe the alien world for my wrongdoing. I can't just walk away."

Her mother angrily replied, "You have punished yourself enough already! It's time to let it go and get on with your life. Six years of penance are more than some of the scientists received. One was released last week. The past is over. Allow yourself to be happy. Find a husband, settle down, and have children."

Josephine explained, "I'm trying. If this trip goes well, it will be time to let go. I can forgive myself after this. The Pura have asked Earth for help, and it's something I can do. There aren't many nurses willing to go to an uncolonized planet and care for an alien species. I'm kind of it. Please understand."

"Oh, sweet girl. I do understand, but I'm so worried for you. You know so little about this species, and there will be no one to protect you if they turn on you. You have given so much of your life to aliens already. Don't let them take the last of it", she pleaded.

"I'll be fine. I promise. If dad works late tomorrow, I'll come over for movies and gossip."

"It doesn't matter whether he works or not; come anyway. We will have a special dinner and play a round of rummy with your dad. Then he can watch whatever he pleases in the den. We will take over the living room for a girls’ night. Sound good?"

Josephine smiled and said, "It sounds excellent. I will see you after work." She hung up the phone and put the diary back on the bottom of the stack. No more thinking about the past. She needed to contemplate the future. There were about fifteen pages left in diary number six, and she intended to fill them with optimistic words on her quest to aid the Puras.

Josephine had been searching for a job away from Earth. She needed the distance in order to forget the experimental lab. On one of her volunteer days, she had overheard a conversation between two doctors. They were discussing a request from an alien species. The aliens were moving to a new planet. They had run out of resources on the last one. It happened every two or three centuries due to the species’ need to feed off its world's energy. They were asking for medical help while they readied the planet for their people. The doctors were laughing at the notion of sending anyone to an empty, desolate planet to aid a species that seldom had dealings with other planets. It sounded ridiculous to them, yet wonderful to Josephine. It was the perfect opportunity to get away from Earth and pay penance for her misdeeds. To the doctors’ shock and dismay, she asked for more information on the request. They tried hard to dissuade her from being interested, but she couldn't be ignored. The doctors reluctantly gave her the name of a website that contained all the information she needed and the name of the species she would have to search for. The species was known as the Pura.

The website turned out to be a link to interplanetary cooperation. Species from various planets could ask for Earth's help, and Earth could ask for theirs. Josephine was surprised at how many requests were made and fulfilled between planets. Some were simple trades that were easily taken care of, and others were more daunting. She ran across an old one from the Arkani, requesting wives due to a sickness that had destroyed most of their females. Their request had been fulfilled. She had a difficult time believing that human women had been willing to mate with an alien species, yet they obviously were. It made her feel much better about offering to simply be a nurse for the Pura. She waded through page after page and finally found the request. She sent in an answer to the website, and they sent back several verification forms for her to fill out. They wanted her credentials, her work history, and her health reports. There were even questions about her family and her relationships. She guessed they needed to be sure she was free to go and wouldn't bring any illness with her. She filled everything out and sent it in. Then she waited and waited. It was months before she got an answer. Her application had to be approved by the Pura. Then she had to submit to tests, both of knowledge and health. Another month passed, and she finally received approval.

The preparations for the trip began. She received immunizations against foreign illnesses, especially those that could be deadly to the Pura. She attended classes on terraforming. There were hands-on anatomy classes for treating the Pura. Life-sized dummies of the Pura were used to study their bodies. Josephine had to learn which medications they could handle, and which were lethal to the species. Last came the physical training. She had to learn to breathe extra oxygen through a nose tube while dressed in a rubber-like bodysuit. Once the planet was terraformed, the extra protection would not be necessary. It was a simple precaution for her human body. She could handle it for now. The food was another story. She would be taking the freeze-dried packets that the astronauts of the old days had used. They were nasty, but gave her needed nutrients and lasted forever in any environment.

Only one thing truly frightened Josephine. She would be dropped off on the planet, by a spaceship headed elsewhere, and left on her own with the strange species. There would be no way to contact Earth or anyone else until she was retrieved months later. It was a terrifying prospect. Now she knew why they needed someone healthy. If she became ill or injured, she was on her own.

Josephine had continued to work at a hospital during her preparations. She had kept her plans a secret, not wanting raised eyebrows and arguments over her choice. She put in a request for a leave of absence, and the request was granted. It was obvious that people wanted to know why she was taking the time off, but she remained closed mouthed. It was her business, and she didn't want to explain her path to redemption.

She couldn't hide from her family. They knew the whole sordid truth. Her dad had stopped arguing with her long ago. Her mother, she was aware, would continue the fight until she left. She didn't blame her. To most people, it would sound crazy. To a parent, it had to be outrageously scary.

In an effort to appease her mother, Josephine would spend tomorrow night playing games and watching movies at her parents. She would make it a habit to spend time with them every day until she had to leave. Two weeks wasn't that much to sacrifice for the people who had given you life and saved you from losing it a few years later. She loved her family and would miss them despite their differences of opinion. If things went wrong, she would never see them again. It was a sobering thought. Maybe a few extra hugs were in order. She found that they were just as important to her as she was to her parents. What if she made it home, but something had happened to them while she was gone? It wasn't likely. They weren't that old and were healthy. Though the odds were against it, she would worry. It was a trait she had inherited from her mother.