I sat on the bed, my legs crossed, and began writing out a list of things I’d need.

Thinking about that house felt strange. Barely a few hours ago, it was still my home. Now, it was suddenly completely off-limits, the place where my father was murdered and I was taken.

All of my things, my entire life, was in that house. I hated what that place had slowly turned into over the years, but it was once a really happy place, back before things went to shit.

It was better this way. I almost wished he’d burn the whole place down.

I made a quick list of toiletries and clothes that he could easily grab. It was hard to cut all of my things down to a simple list, but I knew it had to be done.

Once I was finished, I looked at the piece of paper.

That was my life, distilled into three columns.

It was better this way. A clean break, fast and smooth. I couldn’t go back even if I wanted to, which I really didn’t. Maybe I wasn’t free yet, but I was free of that house.

I found Brooks getting changed in the living room. I quickly looked away from his muscular body, not wanting him to see me staring again.

“That it?” he asked.

I handed him the list. He pulled on his shirt and jeans and then checked a gun that he tucked into his waistband.

“Go ahead. It’s safe to look,” he said. I glanced at him and he grinned. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“You don’t have to make this more difficult,” I said.

“Sure I do. What’s the fun in being too nice?”

“I don’t know. Maybe since you kidnapped me you could at least be kind.”

He stepped toward me, smirking. “I don’t know. You don’t seem to respond well to kindness. I think you want me to be a little mean, push you around a bit. You like to fight back.”

I rolled my eyes. “You know me so well. Figured all this out in the last three hours?”

“Pretty much,” he said.

“That’s close enough,” I said, holding up my hand. He stopped coming near me. I could feel my heart hammering in my chest.

“You sure?” he asked. “I’d like to get much closer. When was the last time you felt a man like me between your legs?”

No man, ever, I wanted to say, but I held my tongue.

Instead he just laughed and turned away. “Relax, girl. You look like you want to take my head off.”

“I don’t trust you.”

“Can’t blame you,” he said, laughing. He walked over to the door and then looked back at me. “Listen, stay here. Get some more sleep if you can. I’ll be back soon.”

“What’s stopping me from running out that door?” I asked him.

He shrugged. “Same thing that stopped you before. You got nowhere to go and a lot of people who want you dead. Trust me or not, but I’m the only one who cares whether you keep breathing.”

Without another word, he opened the door and left, shutting it behind him.

I stared at that door for a while, my mind rushing over his words.

I was a coward. I’d tried to run away, tried to get away from him, and I almost had. I’d snuck down the steps, but as soon as I stood in front of that apartment door, looking out into the big wide world, I panicked.

I didn’t have any close friends. I had people I knew from work and from school, but nobody I trusted enough to take me in. I had no money since everything I had stashed was still at home, and plus Dad had already found and gambled away a big chunk of it. I had freaked out and realized that I knew nothing about the outside world, nothing about surviving on my own.

But I also knew nothing about this man, Brooks. Okay, yeah, he made my heart race and my pussy dripping wet, but that didn’t matter. He was a killer, a man sent to kill my family and me. He was dangerous despite what he said about wanting to keep me around.

True, so far he’d treated me well, but how long would that last? I was taking a big risk by staying.

But it could be a bigger risk if I ran. I stood there staring at the door, warring with myself internally again. I could leave, go out into the world, try to make it on my own. I wasn’t stupid or weak, and worse people than me made it out there.

But I couldn’t stop thinking about what Brooks had said about people wanting to kill me. If he was telling the truth, then maybe leaving was the bigger mistake. He seemed to know what he was doing, and so far he really was the only person to help me.

And he did save me. He’d lied to his partner back in my house that night. Originally he tried to get me to hide again, and it was only after the other man saw me that Brooks decided he was going to take me.

Which meant that he never planned on this. Brooks wanted me here as much as I wanted to be here. He was saving me anyway though.

I took a deep breath and stepped back. There was nothing I wanted more badly than to get out of this stranger’s apartment, away from its white walls and empty space, but I knew I couldn’t. I knew the right choice was to stay and to see what Brooks was like, to try to figure him out.

Maybe he really did want to help me. If that was the case, then I was in more trouble than I realized.

I sighed and went back into the bedroom. I began to root through his things, though I knew I probably shouldn’t. I figured you gave up any rights to privacy once you kidnapped a person.

There was nothing interesting. Clothes in the closet, underwear and clothes in the dresser. Some cash, but not much, in a shoebox. There was another gun, but it wasn’t loaded.

At the bottom of his sock drawer, I found pictures. I leafed through them, frowning. I guessed the woman in them was his mother, but I couldn’t be sure.

Finally, I found a cell phone tucked under a book in his nightstand. I turned it on and was surprised when it got a signal.

Without thinking, I dialed the only number I knew.

“Lou’s Diner.”

“Lucy?” I asked.

“Oh hey, Emma,” she said. “What’s up?”

Lucy was one of the girls who worked with me at the diner. I liked her and she was always nice to me, but I wouldn’t call us friends. We were friendly coworkers, and with my life the way it was, that was about as close to friendship as I really got.

“Uh, not much. How’s it going?”

“Oh, you know, boring as always. We never have many people in around now. Hey, are you calling out?”

My mind moved fast. “Actually I am,” I said. “I’m going out of town for a while.”

“Really? Where?”

“California. Sick relative.”

“Sorry to hear it. Want me to tell Lou for you?”

“Yeah, if you wouldn’t mind.”

“Can’t say he’ll keep you on if you’re gone too long.”

“That’s okay. I get it.”

“Okay. Well, hope everything is good with you.”

“Thanks, Lucy. See you.”

I hung up the phone, turned it off, and put it back.

I sat down on the bed, staring down at my hands.

That felt like a clean break from my old life. That job was all I had left. Maybe it would still be there when this was all over, or maybe I was really walking away from everything I’d ever known.

The thought terrified me and excited me all at once.

* * *

I woke up with a start. I didn’t remember falling asleep, but I must have sometime while Brooks was still out. The television was on, and I barely remembered lying down on the couch to stare at it.

Most of the day had passed by the time Brooks opened the door and stepped inside. He had a large duffel bag slung over one shoulder, which he dropped on the ground as he shut the door behind him.

I sat up, rubbing my eyes. “Surprised to see me?”

“A little bit, yeah,” he said. “But glad you stayed.”

“What did you get for me?”

“Most of what you had on the list.” He unzipped the bag and reached inside. “I had particular fun picking these out for you.”

He lifted up a pair of sexy black panties, smirking at me.

I got off the couch and ran over to him, trying to snatch them away. I was angry and embarrassed all at once.

“Those weren’t on the list,” I said.

“So what? I couldn’t help myself when I saw these. How often do you wear them?” He smelled them. “They seem clean.”

“You’re so gross,” I said, trying to snatch them away again. He was too tall and fast for me, though, and my hands just swiped through empty air.

“I’d rather you let me put my nose up against the real thing, but picturing you in these is close enough.”

I stepped back, flustered. “Did you only get me black panties, or are there real clothes in there?”

He nodded. “Clothes, shampoo, soap, all that shit. I couldn’t find everything, but I improvised.”

I looked through the bag, nodding. He tossed the panties down and walked into the kitchen. He got most of what I had asked for, though I saw some stuff was missing. All in all, it was pretty good.

I picked up the bag. “I’m going to shower and get changed.”

“Feel free.”

“How was it there?” I asked, a little tentatively. “I mean, my dad?”

“Gone,” he said. “Mob sent in guys to take care of him. As far as the world is concerned, your father vanished last night.”

I nodded, biting my lip. “Okay. Good.”

“Good?”

“I wouldn’t want him just lying in there.”

“I thought you hated him.”

“I did, but he was still my father.”

He gave me a strange look. “Yeah. I get that.” He turned back to making himself some food. “Go shower. And lock the door. I can’t promise I can control myself around those sexy panties.”

I rolled my eyes and left. I shut the bedroom door behind me, and, after a moment’s hesitation, I locked it.

Brooks didn’t seem like a bad guy, a killer and a cocky asshole, true, but he could have taken me at any time.

Still, I didn’t trust him. It was going to take more than just nice words to make me really believe in him.

I had to take care of myself above anything else right now.