Chapter Four
Mary Ann paced in front of her. Her face was pinched. Her hair, normally in a tight bun, looked messier than usual, strands of greying hair framing her face. She was clutching a cup of coffee in one hand. It was instant, from the vending machine down the hall, a sure sign of how desperate Mary Ann was feeling. Sarah couldn’t recall ever seeing her boss drink cheap coffee. She opted for some organic stuff she had flown in from somewhere or went to the expensive locally owned coffee shop.
“I cannot believe you didn’t go to Brook Street last night. I asked you to.”
For some reason, Sarah felt compelled to protect Logan and not mention him when the police asked for what happened. This meant she had to lie. Not just to the police but to Mary Ann as well. The entire thing made her uncomfortable. It would be easier to tell the truth.
But Logan’s face wouldn’t leave her mind. She didn’t want to bring him into it, wanted to respect what he asked of her. After all, hadn’t he saved her life? Pinned between the fire in the bedroom and the fire spreading downstairs, she doubted she would have leapt from the window and not broken bones or done something worse.
Sitting in the hospital bed, waiting to be discharged since the doctors cleared her, she knew how lucky she was. Things could have been a lot worse. She could have gotten seriously injured or passed out from smoke inhalation. The fire could have easily reached her.
“The storm was horrible last night,” Sarah argued her lie, “I just needed to get home. I wanted to go by when it wasn’t raining like that.”
Mary Ann’s lips were pressed together in a thin line. Sarah took this as her chance to keep going.
“If I had gone yesterday, I wouldn’t have gotten there in time to see the fire. We could have lost the whole house.”
Her boss threw her hands in the air, making a small noise of frustration, “As it is right now, we basically did. The police think it was arson. The fire consumed almost everything. The repairs are going to be insane. I still might knock the thing down and sell it as an empty lot.”
“Who would set the house on fire? Do the police have any leads?”
“No. But they’re going to want to ask you more questions. About the fire, about what the inside of the house was like.”
“They already did.”
Mary Ann was already looking at her phone, checking messages, “Well, they’re going over it again.” She replied testily, “You should have left right away when you got in there and saw the fire.”
“I tried. But the fire was already covering the living room. I had to go upstairs.”
Her boss looked up then, studying her face for a moment before shoving her phone in her bag. Taking a sip of her coffee, she walked towards the door.
“I have to go. I have so much to do now because of this fire. Text me when you get home.”
With that, Mary Ann was gone, leaving Sarah alone in the hospital room. She could feel that familiar trickle of anger rolling down her spine. Mary Ann hadn’t asked how she was doing, if she was faring okay after what happened – nothing. It was just about the house, about her lie, about the police.
She knew she should quit; it was making her miserable, all of it. But where would she work? Sarah wasn’t exactly rolling in money and her savings were small. If she didn’t find a job in time, it could be an issue.
Her head was throbbing and she was thirsty. All Sarah wanted to do was get out of here, curl up in bed and sleep for a thousand years. She laid back down in the hospital bed and closed her eyes, willing everything to fade away for a little while.
*
It took hours to get discharged, talk to police again and finally get home. By the time she opened the front door and stepped inside, Sarah felt as if she aged twenty years in one day. Exhaustion lined her bones. She couldn’t recall if she managed to keep her lies straight to the police or made a mistake from the events of the day getting to her.
The first thing Sarah did was shower. Peeling her clothes off, tossing them on the floor, she let the cold water roll over her. Her skin, having felt warm all day, cooled off under the steady stream of water. The events of the day were vivid in her brain. She could still smell the smoke, feel the heat of the flames. The way Logan held onto her, jumping from the window, the way he gripped her when they landed. How he somehow wasn’t hurt at all from the impact.
She got out of the shower after thirty minutes, drying out her hair, changing into clean clothes and headed towards the kitchen to make tea. Her rage at Mary Ann still simmered. She wouldn’t go to work tomorrow, she decided, it would be ridiculous for Mary Ann to assume she would.
Lost in thought, Sarah didn’t hear the soft knock at the door right away. The second knock was harder, getting her attention. She froze, halfway across the living room. Knocking on the door was almost a foreign concept to Sarah. She didn’t get very many visitors. The last one had been Millie, coming by with flowers to apologize for not putting her house up for sale.
Sarah looked through the peephole, seeing just a dark shape. She opened the door slowly, peeking out. She wasn’t sure who she was expecting. But it hadn’t been Logan.
He stood in the hallway, looking at her sheepishly. He had a small backpack tossed over one shoulder and smelled of soot and fire. His face was clean but his hands were still dirty, smeared with ash. Sarah was shocked to see him, recalling vaguely giving him her address at the fire. But she never expected him to remember it or to come here.
“Logan.” She remarked, surprised.
“Sarah, am I intruding?”
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. I just…well, you gave me your address. And since my last home burned down today, I was hoping for a place I could lay low.”
She wavered. Some part of her wanted to shut the door. There was a feeling in the air – that if she allowed Logan inside, everything would change. She had no idea why she felt that way. It was something that just radiated off Logan, letting her know that this was her moment. She could lock him out, get life back on track, everything would go back to normal.
But Logan, with his devilishly handsome good looks, and an allure that she couldn’t explain, enticed her too much.
“Come in.” She said, moving to the side.
Logan walked past her. This close, she could feel the heat rolling off him, see the stubble on his jawline. She wanted to reach out and touch him, see if he was really here or if she was dreaming. He looked around the living room.
“This is comfortable.” He said.
Sarah was acutely aware of how strange it was to have a man in her apartment. This place belonged to her and she didn’t like having men over unless she was sure they were serious. The last man to come over was a man she had been dating for about a year, until she came to find out he was cheating on her.
“Thanks. It isn’t much but it’s mine.”
Logan stood awkwardly in the middle of the room as she closed the door. Then he turned to look at her. She wondered how she had gotten into such a weird situation.
“Are you okay? After the fire?”
“I should be asking you that,” Sarah replied, “After we jumped from the second story and you ran off like that…I mean, what happened exactly? I got there and the kitchen was on fire. Suddenly, the whole house was. The police said it was arson,” She paused briefly, “Was that…I mean…”
“Did I start the fire?” He finished for her, “No. I didn’t.”
“But you were supposed to leave the night before. You were still there when the fire started. You didn’t see what happened?”
“Would it be too much to trouble you for some water?” He asked, changing the subject.
“Yeah, of course. Sorry, I should have offered.”
She walked into the kitchen, Logan following her. She got him a bottle of water, handing it to him. He uncapped it and began to guzzle it down. Sarah felt acutely aware of his presence in the kitchen. Wearing baggy clothes, soaking wet hair, probably looked exhausted and drawn – every time she saw Logan, she looked dreadful.
When he finished the water, he looked at her steadily, studying her. Sarah felt exposed, every flaw on display for him. Why did she even care? This man had turned everything in her life upside down and she knew nothing about him. She shouldn’t care what he thought of her.
But she did, for some reason, and that bothered her.
“I don’t want to put you out or ask too much of you. I know I have already been a massive pain in your ass. I just needed…I don’t know. To come by, I guess. See, you’re the first person I’ve spoken to in ages that didn’t treat me like shit.”
Sarah’s eyebrows arched, “I kicked you out of the house.”
“You were just doing your job. Then you let me in your place, even after that fire.”
She sighed, rubbing her eyes, thinking about the heat of the fire, the way it engulfed the kitchen, “That was crazy. I’ve never seen anything like that before. I don’t want to again. I still don’t know who would want to set the house on fire. It’s just a foreclosure.” She was fishing again for information but couldn’t help it – she still wasn’t convinced that Logan didn’t have something to do with the fire.
“It was no joke. I’m just glad that you are okay.” He replied, darting around it again.
Logan was like a slippery eel, wiggling out of her grasp every time she thought he could be pinned down. Exhaustion seemed to settle across her skin. All she wanted to do was sleep for forty years.
Logan spoke, “You just seemed kind. I’m sorry to be imposing on you or coming off as though I am taking advantage of your kindness. I just…” He trailed off.
In the silence that followed, Sarah could sense something she knew all too well: loneliness. It was familiar, something she could sense in another person but so rarely did. But now, it radiated off Logan, almost knocking her over. Whatever was going on with him, whatever led him to sleeping in a foreclosed home, she had a feeling there was a lot to it; it wasn’t something simple to understand.
Sarah struggled with loneliness a lot. When Millie left for college, she was unmoored, trying to find a way to fit in around here with a new group of people. The feeling never went away. After college, in any job, in her current day to day schedule, there was always a loneliness sitting there inside her.
That flowed off Logan as well. It weakened her resistance to him, made her understand him a tiny bit more, even if he didn’t realize it.
“I can make you a bed on the floor. My couch is too small for you but I have extra blankets.” She offered.
Relief swept through Logan, and his shoulders relaxed slightly. He had been worried, Sarah realized, nervous that she would have rejected him and send him packing.
Instead, she went to the small closet near the living room, pulling down blankets. During the winters, she enjoyed curling up in them, reading books or sometimes watching TV. She would watch the snow fall and be warm and comfortable inside. Winter was her favorite time of year but the holiday season always made her sad.
Pushing those thoughts away, she placed the blankets and extra pillows on the floor. She went to go get more but Logan stopped her.
“I always run a bit warm,” He said, “I don’t need too many.”
“That must be helpful during the colder weather.”
He chuckled as he sat on the floor. It was a slightly comical sight. He looked too large for the floor. His limbs were long, but he was so toned and –
She gave a small shake of her head, hovering nearby, “If you need anything please feel free to take what you want from the kitchen.”
“No, I’m okay. I’m just going to sleep, don’t worry about me.” He said as he stretched out on the floor.
Sarah hovered for a moment, wanting to say something else, but unsure what. What did someone say in a weird situation like this? She didn’t know. Instead, she said good-night and went to her room, shutting the door softly behind her.
It was odd to have someone over. It wasn’t often that men stayed the night. But it was always in her bed. This was someone she just met yesterday, crashing on her floor for a safe place.
She crawled into bed, pulling her blankets tight around her. Today had felt long. Sarah instantly closed her eyes, sleep tugging at her. The last thing she thought of was Logan looking at her in the middle of the fire, pulling her close towards him.