My mind has been like a cement mixer for the past three days. If I stop thinking about Vivi for too long, my life might harden into the gray slab it’s been for six months. So while I was making lunch for Naomi yesterday, I was thinking about Vivi’s loud laugh. About the way she’s not intimidated by our family or by anything else. The sandwich just happened. Then I spent most of my shift at the restaurant like, Great job, asshole. Make a girl a packed lunch like she’s off to her first day of kindergarten.
Until she showed up at the restaurant, kissed me, and left.
Movies make it seem like the first kiss is the big deal, and it is. Hell yeah, it is. But they never tell you about the pressure for the second kiss—all that time to think and build up expectations. What it will be like when you see each other again. So, if there’s a second kiss, it’s gotta be me, and it’s gotta be good. I thought about it all through breakfast.
The littles have been fed, and they’re outside playing with some old squirt guns we found in the garage. I scoop out the last bowl of oatmeal and sprinkle it with brown sugar and pecans.
Upstairs, I’m surprised to find my mom out of bed. She’s on the floor, surrounded by a pile of books near her shelves.
“Thanks, pal,” she says as I set the bowl down on her dresser. “I’ve been thinking I should declutter my room a bit. Lots of books that I won’t read again to give away, so I can make room for the ones I have sitting on the floor.”
“Great idea!” I sound too eager. But this could be her breakthrough. There’s a book in her hands, one of her favorites by Gabriel García Márquez, and she examines it. I hear the first hiccup, a repressed cry, a gasp she can’t keep in.
I take the book from her, but not before I see my dad’s handwriting on the inside page. For you, amore mio. Of course. I set it on the shelf and pull my mom up, guiding her toward the bed.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers. “I’m so sorry.”
I leave her curled up on the bed, shoulders shaking as the bowl of oatmeal goes cold. She always seems to feel worse when we see her upset, so it’s better this way. In the kitchen, I sit down on a stool and press my forehead into my hands. I’m not sure how long I’m there before I hear the door, but I don’t bother looking up.
“Hey,” Vivi says. Her voice is a full decibel lower than normal. She already knew something was wrong. So much for the impressive moment of seeing someone after a first kiss.
“Hey.” The word comes out defeated.
She sidles up on the stool next to me. “The littles were playing in the front yard and said you were in here. You okay?”
I want to brush it off. But I’m too tired.
So I shake my head from its place between my hands. I haven’t exactly told her what’s going on with our family because I don’t want anything to change. “My mom’s not feeling well today.”
Vivi walks to the stove. Fills the kettle with water and correctly guesses the cabinet we use for coffee and tea. One cup of tea for me, one for her. She sets them in front of us and sits back down beside me. We sip in the quiet. When we’re done, she pours more tea in a new mug and sets it in front of me. I take it up to my mom, who apologizes for crying earlier. I almost duck back out, to give her privacy. To not keep Vivi waiting. But somehow I know she won’t mind. So I tell my mom all about our Slip ’N Slide day, even though I know Leah already did.
By the time I come back down, Vivi has washed all the dishes from this morning’s breakfast and loaded them in the dishwasher. I wait for her to give an excuse—some reason to sprint away from my complicated family. I wait for her to ask questions. Instead, she holds out one hand to me, the other clutching scraps of paper.
“Scavenger hunt clues,” she says.
This is where I can’t keep up. This is where I see that our summers will be too different. That our lives are too different. “I wish I could. But I have to grocery shop today. We’re almost out of paper towels. And I need stuff for dinners this week. And—”
“Well, give me a minute, why dontcha?” she says, smiling. “Do you have a pen?”
The edited scavenger hunt leads the littles to Patterson’s grocery store and keeps them occupied while I fill the cart. When I’m done, I find them in the seasonal aisle. Vivi spots me and the full cart. She snatches a Hula-Hoop from off the rack and announces, “To move on to the next clue, one of you must dive through this Hula-Hoop like a dolphin!”
“Me!” Isaac hurls himself forward, stumbling a little as he lands on the other side.
“You move on to the next phase!” Vivi announces, as Leah claps. “The clue is . . . in the grocery cart! You have to help Jonah load everything onto the conveyor belt or you’ll never find it!”
They barrel toward me—even Bekah, who usually acts too cool for things like this. Vivi gives me an exaggerated shrug and a smile. She’s making this up as she goes.
At home, Silas gets caught up in the scavenger hunt, too. We spend the day following clues around town and then catch a late movie at the theater in town. Vivi pays, insisting that it was the scavenger hunt prize. When we leave the theater, the world has gone dark around us.
“That,” Leah announces, “was the best movie I’ve ever seen.”
She says that after every movie.
“Me too,” Vivi says. “It had everything! Adventure! Sword fighting! Magic! Romance!”
We wander home, stomachs stuffed with popcorn and soda. The littles are pretending to be characters from the animated movie—a knight, a princess, a sorceress—and Silas is egging them on. Without warning, Vivi jumps on my back, urging me forward like a steed in the film. The others gallop beside us, laughing.
At the edge of town, we pass Officer Hayashi, in uniform but without his dog. We all stop running. Isaac pushes his glasses up, and Silas stands up straighter.
“Good evening,” he says evenly.
“Good evening,” we mutter—all but Vivi, who says, “Evenin’, Officer!”
He looks at Vivi on my back, his mind calculating something. “You taking up with this troublemaker?”
Shit! He thinks I’m a troublemaker? My eyes go wide, but Vivi scoffs behind me, offended.
“Oh, am I taking up with her?” I sputter. “Yes, sir. I am.”
“Careful there. Full of mischief, that one.”
“Yes, sir, she is.” How does he even know her?
“Yeah, yeah.” Vivi laughs a little, her chest pulsing against my back. “See you tomorrow.”
When we’re out of earshot, I whisper to Vivi, “You’ll see him tomorrow?”
“We eat breakfast together sometimes.”
Before I can even ask, Bekah jumps in front of us. She pretends to cast a spell on Isaac, who dodges.
“I want to be the sorceress!” Leah exclaims.
“You can’t be the sorceress. You’re the princess. Now, silence!” Bekah moves her hands in a billowing motion, as if calling magic against Leah.
“Silas!” Leah shrieks. “It’s not fair! She’s being mean!”
I wait to feel Vivi slide to the ground. Because, really, who wants to spend their summer listening to this? Who wants to witness Silas try to break it up without tears? But Vivi only tightens her hold around my neck, shimmying her legs up higher on my waist. She stays.