TWENTY-NINE
Augusta
My heart clenched, Jack and Fallon walking side by side down the length of the yard, heads tilted to the side in just the same way. “They’re so much alike.”
Jack’s dad, Calvin, as he’d insisted we call him, nodded once, quiet smile playing on his lips. “They do. Answers a lot of questions. Like why Jack has such an ear for music, for one.”
“Got that honestly,” I said, heart finally easing into its place inside my own chest as I watched the son who was stolen from me walk next to the man who’d changed my life.
Saved my life.
Both of them had, in different ways.
I was still digesting the idea that my father had known my son, held him if even for a few brief moments.
I had to bite back the resentment. But, in other ways, I think it made sense why he kept the things he kept. Maybe he thought he’d tell me someday how everything had happened.
Or maybe he even felt some remorse.
I had to believe he did, the mystery of why he’d left Fallon our family house not quite so startling.
I had to believe that my dad regretted how so many things were handled. Maybe he just didn’t have the words to express that regret.
How easy was it, after all, to say sorry for stealing someone’s life?
I wiped emotional tears from my eyelashes as Fallon and Jack paused at the edge of the yard, Fallon pointing up into the sky as a jet tracked across the puffy white clouds.
“We’d love it if you’d stay for dinner,” Calvin said, standing up from his place in the lounge chair and hovering at the French doors separating us from the large kitchen.
I swallowed the ball of emotion in my throat and turned, eyes glimmering up at this man I’d only just met. “Yes, we would love that. Thank you so much. I can’t even begin to express what you’ve given me today.” Emotion crawled out of my throat, threatening to choke my words, but I pushed on. “You’ve given me life.”
His soft smile turned up, a gentle nod before he pinched his own tears away. “I think you came just in time, Augusta. We need you more than you know.”
I had to contain myself then, swallowing and covering my eyes as I held it together, not wanting to present the image of a crying lunatic on the very first day I met my son and his family for the first time.
I turned, eyes focusing back on my boys, now walking back slowly, lost in conversation as Jack began asking Fallon every question under the sun about playing guitar, writing songs, singing onstage, and making music.
“I’ll teach ya, if you’d like.” Fallon bent down to his level, one broad, tattooed hand resting on his little shoulder.
I wanted a snapshot of this movement, wanted to capture it in my mind and relive it a thousand times over, relishing in the happiness.
“I would love that.” Jack’s toothy grin stole my heart.
I stepped up to their tight little circle, bending to find myself at Jack’s level, his warm bronze eyes smiling back at me. “If it’s okay with you, we’re gonna stay for dinner.”
Jack nodded fiercely, blond locks of hair falling across his forehead. On instinct, I reached out, pushing it behind his ear before catching myself.
The sweet little boy was smiling back at me, innocent wonder as he took in everything.
This morning, he’d gone to school with a single dad. This afternoon, he came home to Fallon and me.
While it felt confusing and amazing to Fallon and me, Jack seemed to take it all in stride, his grin popping when his dad told him exactly who we were. He first asked where we lived, and then a cascade of questions had ensued as he’d sat riveted at the kitchen table.
“Come on, buddy. Let’s go help your dad make dinner.” Fallon patted our son on the back.
Jack scrunched up his face. “Dad doesn’t make dinner. He’ll probably just order pizza.”
I raised an eyebrow, grinning as I found one more way I could be of use. “Well, let’s change that. We can make dinner, can’t we? What are you in the mood for?”
“Really?” Jack ran up the steps of the porch, waiting for us at the door. “Let’s make cake!”
He launched into the kitchen, circling his arms around his dad’s leg and announcing that I’d promised him we were makin’ cake. “How ’bout we save that for after we make dinner?”
Calvin laughed, waving me off. “I’ll just order in. Don’t wanna waste your time.”
“It’s not a waste of time at all.” I rubbed at Jack’s back, savoring even the tiniest touch. “I’d love to make dinner for you, and I’d love it even more if you helped me, Jack.”
He nodded, happy to help, before sliding across the floor in his socks to snag a barstool, then pushing it back across the floor to prop next to the stove. “I’m ready to chef.”
Fallon stifled a laugh, my own smile stretching the boundaries of my face.
My heart was on fire.
Just this little boy’s existence gave me a reason to breathe. To have the chance to know him, to be in his life, was another gift entirely.
I didn’t know how long Jack’s dad would let Fallon and me get to know Jack, but for as long as he was willing, I would take it.
By the time Fallon and I left that night, our bellies were full of fried chicken and chocolate cake and sweet tea.
“He looks just like you,” Fallon murmured once we’d slid into the cab of his truck.
“But the way he acts, his mannerisms, they’re all you.” My grin split my face, a tiny shriek finally vibrating from my throat. I clutched both of Fallon’s hands in mine, wiggling in my spot at his side, heart threatening to leap right out of my chest and fly away from me.
“He’s a great kid.”
“With such a great life,” I agreed, eyes turning up to the big house we’d just spent the better part of eight hours in.
“And Calvin is nice,” Fallon commented, voice lowering, mind losing itself in thoughts he wasn’t going to share.
I fell silent, the engine of the truck starting up before Fallon eased away from the house that’d held all my hopes and dreams for so long. Moonlight glinted off the glittery Elvis keychain, the only thing I could bear to focus on as I thought about the next time I might see our son, how many more firsts I would miss.
A few sad and stubborn tears leaked out of my eyes before I halted them, refusing to dwell on the time I’d lost, trying my damnedest to live in this moment.
I cuddled a little closer to Fallon, his ability to be attuned to me so sharp that his hand fell on my leg on instinct, giving me a few warm and reassuring squeezes before settling there.
Something about being beside him, his big body eating up the space around me, making me feel so small and fragile in comparison ensured I felt safe, at home, protected, and loved.
Fallon had done nothing but love all the dark and scary parts of me from the beginning.
Even then, there’d been so much I was running away from, so much I was searching for, an aimless soul looking for an anchor.
“Thank you for bringing me here,” I whispered, gratitude seeping through my body. “I never could have faced any of this without you. You were always the other piece of my past, the missing part I needed to put all of this together.”
“I’ll be at your side till the day I take my last breath, Augusta Belle. Whether you’re ready for it or not.”
I tucked in a little closer to the man who had given me so much life, every moment I was with him more inspiring, more fulfilled.
“I’m ready for more than you think I am.”