The last thing I want to do is work on my light wielding abilities with Adriel, so I put all my energy into weapons training with Cain, who is a little more than surprised at my improved skill at target practice.
“I’m a quick study,” I remark, slipping off my headphones and safety goggles. I set down the Glock. It’s starting to feel good in my hands. Natural.
Cain glances over at the paper target and nods. Headshots, just like he taught me, although I landed a few in the chest. “Can’t argue with that.”
“You think it’s the Nephilim thing? The reason I’m able to pick things up a bit faster than the average person?”
“You say it like it’s a bad thing. It’s an advantage. Use it.”
“Yeah, but I’m not thrilled at who gave me these abilities. All my life, I’ve wanted a father. And then I find out he’s a crazed maniac angel who wants to wipe out mankind?”
Cain shrugs. “Be careful what you wish for.”
After putting away the weapons, we head up to the gym for the rest of my training. Crysis is still on the mend, apparently. Being blasted with holy light, even indirectly, took a lot out of him, and I feel like shit for it. Cain mentioned that a blast like that at close range would have instantly killed a human. I wonder what it would do to a demon. Or even an angel.
A tiny, jealous part is tempted to find out when I spy Adriel sitting on a wooden bench alongside the boxing ring. I dismiss the thought the moment it enters my head. I’m not that kind of girl. I don’t set out to hurt females just because they pose a threat to my relationship. Especially when there is no defined relationship. Plus, Legion had no issue being affectionate with me in front of her after my mishap with holy light. And if what Lucifer said is true, Legion’s attachment to her is not romantic. At least on his part, it isn’t. And now that she knows the truth, I doubt she’ll be arranging any more hallway rendezvous.
Still…
I don’t trust her. I know learning from her is necessary to avoid anyone else getting hurt, but we’re not going to be planning any sleepovers or mani/pedi dates anytime soon.
“Good luck. Don’t kill anyone,” Cain snickers with a menacing smirk that highlights his scar. In many ways, the disfigurement is terrifying, but it suits him. It’s actually grown on me. With the muscles, tattoos, and beard he’s started growing out, an unblemished face just wouldn’t fit the whole bad-ass-demon narrative. Plus, I’ve discovered that he has a bit of red in his hair, which totally makes him look even more sinister.
I flip him the bird as he saunters over to the weights, laughing the entire way.
Actually, everyone is here. The Se7en, including Legion. Nikolai, who hasn’t felt the need to set foot in the gym since we arrived because apparently “you can’t perfect perfection.” And Lucifer and Irin. Of course, Niko, Luc, and Irin aren’t donning any activewear nor are they using the equipment. They’re simply watching. Waiting.
They came to see the show.
Sweat beads all over my body. My mouth goes bone dry. I feel sick to my stomach.
Shit, I did not bet on an audience. Not for this.
“Eden.” Adriel stands at my approach.
“Adriel,” I nod and look around, noting all the prying eyes. “They’re all here.”
She tips her head to one side. “They’ve never seen a Nephilim light wielder before. Some have not even seen a full blood light wielder since not all angels are equipped with the gift.”
“And you are.”
She nods. “Yes. As was Legion and Lucifer. They no longer possess light…for obvious reasons.”
“I don’t think I can do it again,” I mutter, feeling self-conscious. “I don’t even know how I did it in the first place.”
“Well, like all gifts, it comes from within.” She touches a hand to her chest. “Imagine it as an intense emotion that’s just too great for your heart to contain.”
I resist the urge to roll my eyes. “I seriously doubt whatever made me do that came from my heart.”
“So what was it that you were feeling at the time?”
I go back to that incident. Hard to believe it was only yesterday that I was pummeling the heavy bag, simmering with rage and pain at what Crysis had said about me. And it wasn’t just his words that cut me to my core. It was the fact that part of me knew he was right. I had become stupid and blind when it came to Legion. I accepted any little crumbs that he would offer me because it was better to have a small part of him than nothing at all. And when Crysis threw that in my face to hurt me then tried to make me relive it, I lashed out because I was humiliated and ashamed.
Reading the memories playing across my face, Adriel comments, “He broke your heart.”
I shake my head. “Crysis and I just had a stupid fight. It was nothing.”
“I’m not talking about Crysis.”
Simultaneously, we turn to Legion. His gaze goes wide as if having us both staring at him has stripped him bare. The two women who love him: the mate of his enemy and the daughter of his enemy. I wonder which one of us he considers the bigger mistake.
“Come on,” Adriel says, breaking her stare first. “Let’s get to work.”
We step into the ring, and a quiet hush falls over the room. Fucking vultures. It’s like they’re begging for a fight. Adriel positions me across from her, but not into a fighting stance.
“Hold out your hands, palm side up.” I do as she says. “Take a deep breath. And when you suck in oxygen, let it fill your chest until you feel it may burst. As if your heart is a balloon encased in blood and bone. When you exhale, release the heartache, the pain, the joy. Whatever you’re feeling, channel it, give it life, and let it take flight from your fingertips.”
I lift a brow, feeling utterly silly. Ain’t no damn way white fire is spurting from my fingertips.
Adriel huffs out her irritation. “Fine. Watch me.”
She closes her eyes, sucking in a deep lungful of air. As she slowly releases it, her eyes open, and within them lay pale flames, reflections of the ball of white fire suspended above her palm. It’s glorious, mesmerizing. And if I considered myself religious, I would say it was the light of God. Just a fleck, but there was definitely something divine within that fire.
Our audience looks on with varying shades of amusement and awe. For all her daintiness and grace, Adriel is still one of the most powerful creatures to have ever walked the earth. The white gowns, her long auburn waves, her pale skin…it’s easy to forget that as an angel, she’s a formidable opponent. I just have to wonder, when all is said and done, whose side will she fight for?
“Ok. Your turn,” she says, closing her palm and extinguishing the light.
I look around me, feeling every eye on my back. “I can’t.”
“You can. You have been given a gift, Eden. God does not make mistakes.”
Mistakes. That’s what I’d been told my entire life—that I was a mistake. But for some strange reason, I was created for a purpose. Abuse, starvation, neglect, poverty, abandonment, assault…I had survived them all. And this is why. Nights so cold I should have frozen to death as I curled up in a ball on a dirty mattress in a roach-infested shack without heat or electricity. I still woke up each morning—weak, hungry, and shivering, but alive. As if something inside me would not let me give up, would not let me perish. Something I could not see or touch or taste or hear, but I knew it was there.
Adriel.
Even with the knowledge that Uriel had created me to hurt her beloved, she did not allow me to die. Her presence sustained me just enough to keep my heart beating.
I owe it to her to try. I owe it to myself to prove them all wrong. I was not a mistake.
I lift my hands, palm side up, and close my eyes. I think of what it felt like the first time I woke up in Legion’s arms. I felt a sense of safety and comfort I never knew existed before then. And when he touched me, running the callused pads of his fingers over my ribs, I finally knew what it meant to be cherished.
But it was when he was deep inside of me, filling me to the point of bursting, that I tasted euphoria on my tongue. Every stroke was a prayer, every moan was a testimony. I saw God in those moments of complete and utter bliss.
“Um, Eden?”
I open my eyes at the sound of Adriel’s soft voice and gasp. My hands—both hands—are engulfed in white flames. Not a sphere of light like Adriel’s, but something wild, passionate. Something born of an emotion so pure and deep that my knees tremble from the gravity of it.
“Now, try to reshape it. Mold it into something more obtainable.”
“How?”
“Will it so, Eden,” Adriel commands, taking a step forward. “You are in control. It does what you tell it to.”
Deep breath. I plunge back into that memory, conjuring those feelings of pure ecstasy. And I remember what it felt like to have it all snatched away from me. Fear and rage flood my veins like ice water, dousing the fiery passion and replacing it with blazing contempt. They took from me. Stole from me. They stripped me bare and raped me of the tiny kernel of happiness I had managed to retain despite all the ugliness in my life. And now…now I would take it back.
I look down at my hands and find two glowing spheres of fire raging in my palms. This time I don’t gasp in surprise. I don’t flinch or shy away from the power in my grasp. I am the power.
“Good,” Adriel notes, taking several steps back until she nearly touches the ring’s corded rope. “Now what can you do with them?”
“What?” I know she is asking me what I think she’s asking me.
“You have to learn how to fight.”
“I know,” I retort. “But how will I do that here?”
Adriel lifts her chin, hands in loose fists at her sides. “Hit me.”
“What? No.” I shake my head.
“Hit me, Eden. Fling your light out and try to hit me with it.”
I grit my teeth. “I don’t want to.”
“Why not? You want to learn. You need to learn. This is how you do that.”
“But…”
“But what?” She raises a slender auburn brow, challenging me.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” I admit, my eyes shifting around the gym. Everyone is watching…waiting. Waiting for me to slip up and show them that I’m a monster, ruled by her insecurities and petty jealousy. And if I hurt Adriel—or worse—I will be screwing them out of their leverage against the Seraph.
Adriel smiles, and while it may appear sweet to others, I see it for what it is: a dare. She either doesn’t believe I’m strong enough to hurt her, or she’s hoping I will to gain sympathy. Either situation is a lose-lose for me.
“You know you want to,” she says, goading me. “I can see it in your eyes, Eden. You’ve been dying to strike me for days, haven’t you? Ever since you saw Legion and me in the hallway.”
She knew. She knew. She knew I was there the entire time, and she still came on to him. After feeding me all that bullshit about how Legion chose me and how she wouldn’t interfere. Lying, conniving bitch.
“You think you know him, and maybe you do to an extent. But you could never know him like I do. We have hundreds of years of history together. Have you ever asked yourself why he wanted to gain God’s favor? Why he was fighting for redemption? He wanted to get back into Heaven. He wanted to get back to me.”
It happens so quickly that I couldn’t stop it even if I tried. But with a guttural grunt, I fling those orbs of white light from my fingertips, sending them straight towards the angel responsible for all of this. Because if it weren’t for Adriel, Legion never would’ve fallen. If it weren’t for her, Uriel wouldn’t have come to Earth seeking revenge. And if it weren’t for her, I would have never been born.
The balls of blinding light meet their target within a millisecond of them leaving my fingertips and stop just an inch from Adriel’s face, halted by a single raised palm. Her expression is calm, almost cold. She didn’t even blink.
She knew I would take the bait. That all she had to do was ignite the jealous rage simmering underneath, and I would attack. And now I see it. Legion isn’t just the one who inspires my power. He’s also my weakness. I care too much. And that makes me a liability.
A loud clap sounds from yards away, and I look over to where Lucifer stands with Irin.
“Bravo! Bravo!” he derides. He strides forward, and his movements are as fluid as water. “My, my, how our young Eden has grown. From minimum wage cashier to light wielding Nephilim.”
If I could control the trembling in my hands, I would flip him off.
Adriel turns to Irin and gives her a conspiratorial nod. Then she looks back to me. “You did well. We’ll pick back up tomorrow.”
“No.” My hands may be shaking, but my voice is steady. “Now.”
“You should rest.”
“I don’t need to rest. I want to keep going.”
Adriel glances back to Irin who merely shrugs.
“You wanted me to find the source of my power,” I continue. “Now, I’ve found it. Let’s go again.”
Adriel looks uncertain, and I’m not sure why. Isn’t this what she wanted?
“You want an opponent? Try me.”
I turn in time to see Lucifer gracefully swing his leg over the ropes. He comes to stand before me, a slash of a crooked smile on his lips. I merely look up at him through my lashes, too unnerved by his proximity to stare into his eyes. I’m still angry—at him, at Legion, at everyone who lied to me. But that doesn’t erase the fact that I’m grateful for his candor. I would have never known the truth had it not been for him. And I guess I can’t fault him for being loyal to his family. I would have done the same for Sister.
“What do you say, Eden?” he coaxes, his voice low and sultry. “Want to give me your best shot?”
“I can’t promise I wouldn’t enjoy it.”
“Mmmm.” The sound rumbling his chest is damn near erotic. “I can’t promise I wouldn’t enjoy it either.”
We stand in a stare-off, and for just a few heartbeats, I forget that we’re in a gym full of supernatural creatures. How easy it is to fall victim to his stare—a peculiar blend of violet and obsidian with flecks of silver—and the temptation of his touch. He knows what he does to my body, even when my heart and mind revolt against the very thought of him.
“E?” Nikolai steps into view, and the sight of him breaks me from whatever spell Lucifer had cast over me. “We should get started.”
I step back, putting a foot of space between Lucifer and me. And finally, I can breathe.
I nod to Niko. “Yeah, you’re right.”
“Get started? On what?” Lucifer inquires. His gaze goes over my head, and I don’t have to turn around to know why. I can already feel him.
Legion at my back. Lucifer at my front. And Niko standing at my side. To most girls, this would be every dark, depraved fantasy rolled into one. But all I feel is the overwhelming need to scratch my skin off until I hit bone.
“The breathing ritual,” Niko answers smoothly. “In order for me to do the veiling spell, I’ll need magic.”
“And let me guess…you need Eden’s magic.” Lucifer raises a skeptical brow. “And you’ve allowed this, brother?”
“He doesn’t allow me to do anything,” I reply before Legion has the chance. “Unlike you, he doesn’t see people as property. Or pawns.” I don’t know if that’s entirely true, but I’ll be damned if I give Lucifer the satisfaction of knowing he may have been right about Legion.
“Eden can make her own decisions,” Legion mutters behind me. “Nikolai has proven to be helpful to our cause. She trusts him.”
“Does she?” Lucifer glances down at me; his eyes narrowed in mischief. “And you, brother? Knowing what the process entails? Knowing she’ll be physically and emotionally bonded to him? She will desire him…fantasize about him. You do realize that the ritual is just a prelude to sex, don’t you?”
I turn to Nikolai, whose pale blue eyes burn brighter than I’ve ever seen them, his stare boring into Luc. His teeth are clenched so tight that I can see the muscles along his jawline flutter with disdain. “You know that isn’t true.”
Lucifer ignores him, only speaking to Legion. He takes a step forward, closing whatever distance I had put between us. Him, Legion, Niko…I feel like I’m suffocating.
“Can you handle a little extra competition for Eden’s affections?” Lucifer’s gaze dips down, and he runs a single finger up my bare arm, causing sensation to snake from my fingertips to my neck. “I’m not sure I would be able to if I were you.”
I snatch my arm away and stumble back into Legion’s rock solid chest. Reflexively, he grasps my shoulders, steadying me and wrapping me in his overwhelming heat. I inhale, desperate to soak in the feel of his touch. I don’t know when I’ll be this close to him again, and this distance—this chasm that’s ripping us apart—it’s killing me.
I only allow myself a moment to revel in his comfort before conjuring what’s left of my resolve and step to the side, towards Niko. Leaving Lucifer and Legion to come face to face with their biggest weakness: each other.
The irony is just too glaringly obvious. I am what’s between them. And no matter how much I love or loathe either one of them, they will always look at me and see the other, pulling on my strings. I can’t help what I feel for Legion—or even Lucifer. But I can help how I let them affect me. I can stop them from controlling me. I won’t be owned like property, and it’s time they realize that.
“I’m leaving,” I announce. With or without your permission, I’m tempted to tack on. Reluctantly they turn to me, not wanting to be the first one to break eye contact.
“And you’re sure about this?” Legion questions, his eyes hardening as they fall on the Dark warlock beside me.
I slip my hand into Niko’s, intertwining our fingers. Enough of the games. I shouldn’t have to hide my friendship with him just to make them more comfortable.
“I’m sure.”
“I don’t think he was asking you, love,” Lucifer remarks with a sneer.
Feeling protective of my friend, although he’s more than capable of holding his own, I squeeze Niko’s hand tighter. He feels colder, as if there’s pure ice in his veins.
“I trust him, and you trust me. So yeah…it’ll be fine.”
Before they can utter another skeptical word, I turn, somehow managing to take Nikolai with me. I release his hand so we can hop off the raised platform, and we stride towards the gym doors. Neither one of us speaks, despite the whispers swirling around our dramatic exit.
“Holy. Fuck,” Niko hisses once we hit the open corridor. “Do you realize what was about to happen?”
I roll my eyes. “Apparently even immortal boys are immature assholes.”
“No, E,” Niko shakes his head. “Legion marked you as his. It’s something only other supernatural creatures can sense—like a sign of ownership. Even warlocks do it. If he felt even the slightest offense from me or anyone else when it comes to you, he would be within his rights to annihilate the threat.”
“And what would be considered an offense?” I think I already know the answer.
“If I hurt you. Angered you.” He runs a hand over his jet-black hair, disturbing his deliberately disheveled ‘do in the most delicious way. “Fucked you.”
I swallow. “Well…that’s good to know.”
“Yeah. Of course, the fucking would be considered offensive if I took you against your will. And rape fantasies aren’t my thing.” He shrugs a shoulder.
“Also good to know.”
“All things considered, you can imagine that Legion is not my biggest fan right now. But he needs me to do the spell, which is the only reason why he hasn’t tied my guts into a bow. It’s also the reason why Crysis is laying low. It was an act of the Divine for Legion to not slaughter him for what he said to you. And after what happened afterward… Well, let’s just say Crysis will be keeping a safe distance.”
“Too bad the whole marking thing doesn’t seem to work on everyone.” I purse my lips in distaste.
“Luc plays by no one’s rules. But he’s not suicidal.”
I nod my understanding. If there’s one being that will gladly test Legion’s boundaries, it’s Lucifer.
“Alright, E,” Niko begins, dipping forward to leave a peck on my forehead. “Go get cleaned up and meet me in my bedroom in an hour. I need to prepare.”
“Prepare?” I literally have no idea what I’m about to walk into. I have about a million reservations, and all of them have to do with me being sexually and emotionally linked to Niko. I mean, I’m attracted to him, sure. Anything with a pulse would be attracted to him. But to want him…to crave him…I don’t think I could handle that. And judging by the looks on both Legion and Lucifer’s faces, I don’t think they can either.
But we need him. And he needs me. So whatever he asks of me, I’ll suck it up and do it.
Even if it destroys our friendship.
Even if it destroys me.