RILEY
It was past dinner time when Riley rolled off her couch in human form. She had forgotten to shift back when she went back to sleep. She groaned, her body aching, and dragged herself into her bathroom for a hot shower. She felt days of grit and sweat fall off her. She washed Texas and the compound away, like it would help make her feel better.
“There’s no place like home,” she whispered to herself, leaning on the wall in her shower, the hot water pounding into her. She washed slowly, the tension leaving her body as she went.
But when she got out, she didn’t truthfully feel much better. Something was riding her, and she wasn’t sure what.
“Aren’t I supposed to feel depressed?” She mumbled as she dried off. “Isn’t this where I break down and fall apart?”
Was she broken? She didn’t want to fall and cry. She sure as shit wasn’t depressed. She didn’t know what she was.
She threw on a tank and hoodie with a pair of yoga pants. She should be feeling something. She’d been victimized, and she hated it; but she didn’t feel what she thought she should, what other people feel. She slipped in new lip rings, happy to find her holes were still fine after days of not having jewelry in them. She looked more like herself after that, which was a little comforting.
“What is wrong with me?” She hissed, pulling her door open. No one was on her hall and she walked downstairs, unsure of what she would find.
She found Andrew in the kitchen, and he smiled as he saw her. His scent didn’t set her on edge. The sight of him didn’t freak her out. Instead, she felt her heart ache at the sight and scent of him. He was hers and no one would take him away.
“Hey, Andrew,” she smiled, walking over to kiss his cheek as he cooked. “Wasn’t dinner an hour ago?”
“Late dinner since people were getting some much-needed sleep. We were going to wake you when it was nearly done,” he turned his head, and they kissed like it was a homecoming. She wrapped her arms around his neck and his hands went to her hips, then drifted onto her back.
Oh, yeah. Andrew was still definitely hers.
“Well, I’m up,” Riley chuckled after the kiss, pulling away with a smirk. Andrew’s eyes were full of heat and confusion. “What, am I not allowed to kiss one of my boyfriends?”
“I just wasn’t expecting it,” Andrew mumbled, running a hand over his long, pulled-back hair. He’d been sporting that man-bun for longer than she’d known him and unless he was asleep or bathing, she never saw it down. She pulled him back down and rubbed her cheek against his facial hair and kissed him again.
“Expect it,” Riley laughed. “No one takes this away from me and I fully intend to remind all of you.”
“Of course, darling,” Andrew grinned. “Everyone’s in the den waiting for me to call them to dinner. Only you and Sheriff were still out, and Sheriff might not make it down for dinner.”
“Alright,” she blew another kiss at him as she left. That had felt good. She wasn’t supposed to feel like this so soon after what happened. Wasn’t she supposed to be scared of men?
She pushed the den door open and saw them all hanging out on the couches and the floor, watching some war movie. She smiled at the brothers, who’d turned to see her in curiosity, then excitement. Zachary looked up from his spot and broke out into a smirk. Then her eyes fell on Brenton, who had an unreadable face.
The wolves ignored her entrance for a few seconds until they realized none of the cats were watching the movie anymore. They looked over to her and those were some interesting looks. Thomas looked genuinely glad to see her up and moving. James and Antonio shrugged and went back to the movie. But Chris, the wolf’s Alpha, had a stormy look in his eyes and Riley wasn’t sure where it came from. Not her problem, even though it irked something, scratched at something under her skin.
She strolled over and slid over the back of the couch into the spot in between the leopard brothers.
“What have I missed?” She whispered to Troy, who chuckled.
“A plane crashed, just watch the movie,” he whispered back to her, kissing her cheek. “The plot really doesn’t matter.”
“Just make sure you tell me who the good and bad guys are,” she hissed, and then kissed him back. She then leaned Gabe’s way and kissed him as well. He was tentative and unsure about it for a moment but finally deepened it.
“Hey, you three,” Zachary growled from his spot on the far couch with Brenton. “Take it to a room, we have company.”
“Fine, I’ll watch the movie,” Riley chuckled, laying between and partially on the brothers.
This felt good and normal. Was that allowed?
“Thank fuck,” Chris mumbled in the dark. She resisted the urge to glare at him. She could smell a bit of his temper but didn’t know where it had come from, her or something else. He was sharing the middle couch with Thomas, with James and Antonio on the floor in front of them.
The entire room ignored what he had said, as if no one heard it, but she could scent just a small amount of anger in both Troy and Gabe. She could only assume that Brenton and Zachary also felt a bit mad at their guest. This was their home, and if the wolves had a problem, they could leave.
There was only an hour left in the movie when she had come in, and when it ended, no one missed Thomas grab Chris by the shirt and drag him from the room unceremoniously.
“Shit, do you think those two are about to throw down?” James looked to Antonio, who only shrugged.
“About time, in my opinion, if they are.” He walked out, making James hurry catch up. “He wants to get us all killed.”
Riley looked at her pride, confused.
“What?” She didn’t want to see the wolves die, not after everything they had escaped.
“Chris wants them to fight the new South Dakota Alpha to regain the position and the power. All three of them are against it, but Chris won’t listen,” Zachary told her from across the room. “It’s not our business.”
“Why is he such an asshole?” Riley curled her lip in distaste for the wolf Alpha.
“We don’t know, but he’s been taking it out on everyone since he got up,” Troy groaned. “Everyone except Brenton.”
“He’s not stupid enough to take it out me,” Brenton growled. Brenton stood up and walked closer to Riley. She finally caught his scent, lion and all male. Even as she saw Brenton, she couldn’t stop the wave of fear over the scent.
There it was. She was scared of him, or at least his scent. And that didn’t make her sad.
It made her fucking angry.
That’s what was crawling under her skin. Fury, a white-hot rage. She felt it bubble up, dangerous and deadly after the wave of fear. All of the guys were watching her as she bit down to control it, fight it back. She didn’t even realize she was growling until she stopped.
“I’m sorry,” she mumbled. “I’m not sure what’s… going on with me.”
“You went through something awful,” Brenton’s eyes looked like he’d been shot. The pain was evident, and Riley swallowed, nodding.
“I wasn’t expecting this,” Riley waved a hand at herself. “I thought I would be sad but… that’s not what I feel. Sad is the furthest thing from what I feel.”
“I made a call before I went to sleep. I know someone, Abigail Harris. She’s a doctor who specializes in these sorts of things,” Brenton waited after that. Riley knew what he meant. A doctor who was good at helping women who were sexually assaulted.
“I wasn’t raped, Brenton,” Riley snarled. “He… touched me. I think he wasn’t allowed to… go that far, like he couldn’t use the product fully without paying for it.”
“You were still assaulted,” he growled back, “and you will talk to her.”
“Fine.” she stood up. “I didn’t say I wouldn’t. Now let’s go eat.”
She stormed out of the room, pushing back the anger. She wasn’t fucking broken. She wasn’t damaged. She’d survived and rescued them. She’d fucking done it.
Then why did she feel like her heart was falling into pieces at the sight of her Alpha? Why was she scared of him? She’d never been scared of him. Nervous? Definitely. Intimidated? Oh yeah. But never truly scared.
She landed in her spot at the dining room table. There was a second table set up for the wolves to eat at, a folding table and chairs someone must have bought during the day.
She pushed the rage back down. She didn’t need it to eat dinner. Outside, she could hear the yelling wolves. Thomas’ voice was clear and furious. Chris was second with James and Antonio only throwing in pieces. That was a hot mess, she thought to herself, turning her head to the hall that lead to the back door.
“Have they been like that all day?” Riley asked out loud as her pride walked in.
“Yeah,” Andrew whispered. “It’s a powder keg of problems.”
As the food was set down, and they all talked about inconsequential things. Troy and Gabe were excited to finally finish building her bike, and she couldn’t wait to ride it. They had started with a Kawasaki Ninja H2 and were customizing it for her without really messing with the internals. It was reported to hit nearly two hundred miles an hour. It was taking some time since, they had worked on it in their off hours Then, there was everything that happened.
She’d gotten her motorcycle license in September because she wasn’t a minor who needed a permit for twelve months. The DMV had been terrified of seeing another one of them on the road, but she’d passed the test with ease and was now just waiting on her bike.
“How’s that looking? You won’t let me see it or what you’ve decided on.” Riley chuckled.
“You’ll love it, pretty girl. Don’t worry. It just needs some final touches, so expect it soon.” Troy smiled at her. “Now, who’s going to tell the wolves that it’s dinner time?”
“I will. they won’t fight me for interrupting them,” Brenton groaned, walking to the back. The yells quieted, and Brenton came back with the same exasperated look on his face. “Fuck, there are too many Alphas in this house right now.”
“You mean two?” Riley raised an eyebrow at him.
“Three, Thomas is one, too,” Brenton smiled ruefully at her.
“Thomas is an Alpha and I didn’t notice?” She looked around between them all. Zachary sighed and nodded, looking at her sympathetically.
“Yeah. He followed Chris, though…” Zachary trailed off and Riley saw the wolves enter the room. Thomas grinned at her as she tried to apologize. It was extremely rude not to give proper respect to any Alpha
“You’ve got a serious backbone, cheetah. You were focused on your goal, and I wasn’t going to give you a hard time over it. I think it was better that you didn’t notice. It was a bit refreshing, really,” Thomas shrugged and went to his seat at the new table. Chris was watching her and turned to his brother.
“Why don’t you join the Kingson’s pride if you find her so refreshing?” Chris’ tone was snide, and it got a room full of growls. “If you won’t demand respect for your rank, then what’s the point?”
“Respect is earned, Chris,” Thomas growled, “and lost. It’s not a default thing you can just demand.”
“Is that really how this is going to be, now?” Chris glared at Thomas. “Years as a team, and you want to walk away? Tell me more about how I lost your respect when it should be mine by default, pup.”
“I want to eat dinner. I want to stay alive. South Dakota made their decision, and I think we should respect the shifters we used to rule,” Thomas shook his head at his brother. “I don’t think we need to die for your sins, Chris.”
“I’m the fucking ruler of that goddamn piece of land,” Chris snarled.
“We can have this argument a thousand times. I’m not changing my mind, brother.”
“My brother would help me fight,” Chris roared, flipping Thomas’ plate off the table. “I need my brother to help me win!”
“A real Alpha doesn’t need anyone to fight his battles,” Thomas looked down at the broken plate. Riley wondered what he must have been thinking, but Brenton stood up slowly from his seat, fury radiating off him.
“Get out of my house, Chris Marek,” Brenton’s voice was soft. “I will not tolerate this under my roof.”
“Fine,” Chris growled, turning his glare to Brenton. Riley fought the urge to sink in her chair under that rage and arrogance, but Andrew’s solid presence next to her was steady. “We don’t fucking need a bunch of rich boys to help us, anyways. You keep your fucked-up fantasy going on here. Let’s go boys, we’ve got a war to plan.”
None of the other wolves moved. James was wide eyed at his Alpha’s willingness to die in a fight they were destined to lose. Antonio wouldn’t look at him, toying with his food. Thomas knelt and began to clean up the broken plate and food, ignoring his brother.
“You don’t have to do this, Chris,” Thomas whispered. “You don’t have to be our father.”
“Our father was a great ruler,” Chris leaned down to sneer at Thomas. “And he chose me, not you, to rule South Dakota.”
“He was a dictator,” Thomas snorted. “Leave, Chris. Just go. Your decisions got over half your inner circle killed, and now you want to kill the rest of us. I won’t allow it.” Thomas stood up and Riley noticed he was taller than his older brother. “Don’t make me put you down before you can get anyone else killed.”
Two brothers, both Alphas. It had to be hard, Riley considered. Especially if the younger, kinder one was definitely more dominant and smarter. Chris stormed out, and Riley wondered where he would go. He had no transportation, no pack to return to.
“Thomas,” Brenton’s tone was mild, “I am sorry, but I couldn’t tolerate that temper under my roof anymore.”
They hadn’t even been here a full day. Chris must have been a real asshole to everyone while she was asleep.
“It’s fine. He should have respected this wasn’t his home or his territory. He was always a fucking prick who thought people should grovel at his feet. He had a few good moments in his life, but no matter what, his flaws always come roaring back to the surface,” Thomas continued to clean. “And his flaws got people killed.”
“Where will he go?” Riley asked softly.
“The most likely place is South Dakota, where he’ll challenge the new Alpha. A strong female, actually, who wants more for the pack. She can win, too. She’s hardcore,” Thomas sighed. “But that’s just the most likely. Chris… doesn’t have a high opinion of most women so that’s really eating at him. He could try to play it smart, join a militia pack, rise through the ranks, but… only time will really tell.”
“Well, this has been very interesting,” Troy was trying to lighten the mood, “but let’s eat before all of Andrew’s food gets cold and we have to comfort the poor cougar.”
None of them spoke anymore as they ate. The other wolves helped Thomas finish cleaning up, earning a thank you from Andrew, who would have cleaned it if no one else did. By the time they were all finished, Riley looked towards the backdoor.
“We can’t go running tonight,” Brenton whispered to her. “We need to verify that Chris is gone before I let you out there.”
“Do you think he would hurt one of us?” Riley looked at her own Alpha, then to Thomas. Neither said anything and that told her what she needed to know. “Alright.”
“So, what’s next with the plan and the US SSTF?” Andrew asked Brenton as he ate.
“We’ll talk about it later,” Zachary growled.
“Why?” Riley looked at the tiger. “I haven’t gotten any updates yet and I would like some.”
“I want you out of it, Riley,” Brenton whispered. “You need-”
“I fucking saved you!” Riley looked at Brenton desperately. “I deserve to know what’s going on.”
“You need to take a moment to rest and relax,” Brenton finished, his face tight. “I don’t want you up all night over this. We’ve fucking got it. Stop asking.”
“Fine,” she spat, going back to her meal. They wanted to push her out of this. After everything, they wanted to keep her ‘safe’ and push her out.
As dessert was served, people started leaving. Riley wasn’t ready to stop eating, filling herself with as much as she could. Eventually, it was only her and Brenton left in the room. He was silent, and when she stood up, he did as well.
She noticed then. A male lion was alone with her. She could run, and she wanted to. But it was Brenton, she couldn’t run from him, right? She didn’t need to.
She took several deep breaths and looked down at her hands and bruises on her wrists. She could taste metal and leather in her mouth. She could remember every touch. She forgot where she was, only smelling the room from the compound.
“Riley,” Brenton whispered too close to her ear. She growled, the rage in her blazing up through it all, and she lashed out. She nearly hit him, had nearly broken his nose, but her hand met a force she couldn’t get through.
He held her fist and stared at her. His gold eyes were full of tears, one rolling down his cheek and she stepped back, pulling her hand away. She’d made Brenton cry? Oh God, she’d made him cry.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, full of guilt and rage at herself. She wasn’t sad though. She didn’t feel the fear anymore, after taking the swing. She’d tried to fight back and that made her a little happy, even through all guilt and anger.
“Don’t be, beautiful. I’m the one who should be sorry,” he stepped away from her, a little further and she turned away to run from the room.
She didn’t stop at the den, where everyone was waiting to watch another movie. She nearly was on all fours going up the stairs. She pushed into her room, broke down, and cried. The door slowly shut behind her, leaving her in her room. With the bed.
Star curled up with her on a couch and Riley cuddled the cat for a long time, wondering what was wrong with her mind and body. They didn’t agree on anything, it seemed.
After what seemed like hours of crying, she went to her easel. She threw her largest canvas on it and began to paint. She cried as the image took shape.
She stared at the woman looking back her. Amber eyes met amber eyes, but the woman was different. That woman was terrified. She didn’t have the rage. Riley glared at the woman and turned away. That woman was the female that was in that room. And Riley hated her. More than that, she hated the shadow that hung behind the woman, a faceless, shapeless shadow who loomed over her life.
Riley would put a face to that shadow, if it was the last thing she did. She made her plans.
She was a feline shifter. Feline shifters don’t do depressed or sad. Those weren’t the feelings she had anymore. They didn’t cower from their enemies. They got angry and they got revenge.
Feline shifters didn’t back down and roll over, they got fucking even.
Yes, Riley thought, now she understood why it was such a dangerous world to be a feline. And she welcomed it into her heart with open arms.
She was going to win.