Chapter 10

A MONTH AFTER he’d first met Annie, Zach sat on one of the car-sized boulders scattered around Yosemite and wondered what the hell he was doing wrong. He’d spent every night since the day of the picnic with her. She was fire in his arms, warm, beautiful, and loving…but she continued to withhold a part of herself.

Most men wouldn’t have noticed. But he wasn’t most men. Every time she waved off his offer to help her in some way, every time she pulled her independence around her like a shield, he noticed. It wounded the cat, confused the man. “Mercy, I can hear you.”

A tall redhead jumped down from a branch a few feet in front of him. “Only because I let you.”

He snorted. “You were making enough noise for a herd of elephants.” He threw the sentinel a spare bottle of water.

“I didn’t want to bruise your masculine ego by sneaking up,” Mercy said, perching on a boulder opposite him. “Not when you already looked so pathetic.”

“Gee, so thoughtful of you.”

“I can be a right peach.” She drank some water. “Let me guess—you’ve mated with the little teacher?”

He raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, puhleese,” Mercy drawled. “As if you’d bring anyone but your mate to the Pack Circle.”

“She’s fighting the bond,” he found himself saying.

“Why?”

“You’re the female. You tell me.”

“Hmm.” Mercy capped the bottle and tapped it against her leg. “Did she say why?”

He stared at her.

Mercy rolled her eyes. “You did tell her that she’s your mate, didn’t you?”

“She’s a bit resistant to the idea of commitment.” That resistance frustrated the hell out of him, but he was trying to be patient. Not only did he care about her happiness, he wanted her to trust him enough to make the choice—even though there was only one answer he’d accept. “I don’t think she’d react well to the whole ‘till death really does us part’ bit.”

“So you’re making the choice for her?” She raised an eyebrow. “Arrogant.”

Anger flared. “I want to give her time to become comfortable with me.”

“Is it working?”

“I thought so, but the bond hasn’t snapped into being.” The mating bond was an instinctive thing, but the female usually had to accept it in some way for it to go from possibility to truth. “It’s tearing me up, Mercy.” The leopard was lost, hurt. What was wrong with him that Annie didn’t want him?

“Talk to her, you idiot.” Mercy shook her head. “Has it crossed your little male mind that maybe she’s protecting herself in case you decide to indulge in some hot sex, then flick her off?”

He growled. “She knows I’d never do that. It’s about the commitment—she’s scared of trusting someone with her heart.” He couldn’t blame her, not after what he’d seen of her parents’ marriage.

“Correct me if I’m wrong,” Mercy said, “but haven’t you two been joined at the hip for the past month? Pack grapevine says you’ve all but moved into her place.”

“Yeah, so?”

“Geez, Zach, I thought you were smart.” Trapping the bottle between her knees, she raised her hands to redo her ponytail. “Sounds to me like she’s already committed to you.”

She’d given him a key to her apartment, to the place that was her bolt-hole. His heart slammed against his ribs. No, he thought, he couldn’t have made that big a mistake. “But the bond—”

“Okay,” Mercy interrupted. “Maybe you’re right, and your Annie’s going to freak about the mating, but let’s say your amazing Psy mind-reading abilities are wrong—”

He growled.

“—and she’s ready to risk everything for you. What would keep her from taking the final step?” She raised an eyebrow. “You know the rep we have. Humans tend to think of leopard changelings as affectionate but casual.”

“That’s not it,” he insisted. “I told her this was serious right at the start.”

“Let me share a secret with you, Zach. Men have been telling women things for centuries. Then they’ve been breaking our hearts.”

Zach’s mind filled with the memory of Kimberly Kildaire’s shattered face as Erik Kildaire walked away. Promises, he thought, lots and lots of broken promises.

“Only way,” Mercy continued, “for you to gain her trust might be to forget the pride that seems to come embedded in the Y chromosome. You ready to wear your heart on your sleeve and hope she doesn’t crush the life out of it?”

He met her gaze. “You got a streak of mean in you, Mercy.”

“Thank you very much.” Finishing off the water, she threw him the bottle. “I’d better head off—have to meet Lucas.”

He watched her climb back up into the trees, her words beating at him. Had he really been that much of an idiot, thinking he knew what was going on in Annie’s head while being so very wrong? More importantly, was he willing to swallow his need for dominance, for control, and put the most important decision of his life into her hands? What if she rejected him? The pain of the thought was paralyzing.

•   •   •

ANNIE finished putting away her things with eager hands. It was five on Friday, which meant she had the entire weekend to spend with Zach. He’d promised to show her some of the secret treasures of his forest, and she couldn’t wait. Of course, she thought with a smile, even if he’d told her he wanted to watch the entertainment network all weekend, she’d have had the same reaction. She flat out adored being with him, wicked teasing and all. Especially since she’d gotten pretty good at teasing him back.

“Hey, Teach.”

“Zach!” She walked over to hug him. “What’re you doing here?”

His expression was solemn. “I need to talk to you.”

Her stomach knotted. “Oh.” She stepped back, trying to appear calm.

“Mercy was right,” he said.

Annie knew who Mercy was, having met the sentinel at the picnic. “About what?”

“You’re waiting for me to leave you.”

The world fell out from under her feet. She trembled, unable to move, as he closed the door and walked to her. “I will never leave you, Annie.” Cupping her cheeks in his hands, he bent so his forehead pressed against hers. “Not unless you ask me to.” He frowned. “Actually, I won’t leave you then, either. Just so you know.”

“Wh-what?”

“You’re my mate,” he said simply. “You’re in my blood, in my heart, in my soul. To walk away from you would cut me to pieces.”

The room spun around her. “I need to sit down.”

He let her go, let her lean against her desk.

“Mate?” she whispered.

“Yes.” His face grew bleak. “It’s a lifetime commitment. Mercy was right about one thing, but I’m right about this—you’re not too keen on that, are you?”

She didn’t answer his question, her mind spinning. “Are you sure that I’m…?”

“Baby, I was sure the first day we met. You fit me.”

It brought tears to her eyes, because he fit her, too. Perfectly. “Zach, I…” She blinked, trying to think past the rushing thunder of emotion. “I never thought I’d marry,” she admitted. “But it’s not the commitment I have a problem with. It’s what comes after.” A confession made in a voice that threatened to break. “It’s this cold terror that the promise, the love, will one day turn into a trap.”

“I know.”

“She still waits,” Annie found herself saying. “For a Valentine or a birthday present or just a loving word. She still waits.”

“Oh, sweetheart.” He tried to come closer, but she held up her hand, fighting to think, to understand.

“I could survive you leaving me,” she said, “but I couldn’t survive you stopping to ‘see’ me.” And the mating bond would leave her with no way out. It truly was forever.

“That’s something you never have to fear,” Zach said, the declaration resolute. “It’s not possible for mates to ignore each other.”

“But—”

“No buts,” he said, slashing out a hand. “I will never stop seeing you, never stop loving you. Mates can’t shut each other out.”

Part of her wanted to grab that promise and never let go. But another part of her, the part that had been trapped first by injury, then a mother’s fear, was hesitant. Was she ready to take this chance on the faith of a man’s promise? Was she ready to give up the freedom she’d fought a lifetime to attain? “I’m so afraid, Zach.”

“Ah, Annie. Don’t you know? My cat is devoted to you. If you asked me to crawl, I’d crawl.”

It shattered her, the way he’d just ripped open his heart and laid it at her feet. Trembling, she placed two fingers against his lips. “I would never ask that.”

“Neither would I.” His lips moved against her touch. “Trust me.”

There it was, the crux of it. She adored him, loved him beyond reason, but trust…trust was a harder thing. Then she looked into that proud face, into the wild heart of the leopard within, and knew there could be only one answer. She refused to let fear cheat her out of the promise of glory.

“I do,” she said, cutting the last safety rope that had held her suspended above the fathomless depths of the abyss. “I trust you more than I’ve ever trusted anyone.” Something tightened in her chest at that second and then snapped, leaving her breathless. She clung instinctively to Zach, and he held her tight, burying his face in the curve of her neck. When she could breathe again, she tangled her fingers gently in his hair. “Zach?”

He shuddered. “God, I was so scared you were going to say no.”

She felt it then—his terror, his love, his devotion. It was as if she had a direct line to his soul. The beauty of it staggered. “Oh my God.” There was no way this bond would ever let either of them ignore each other. “Zach, I adore you.” She could finally admit that, needed to admit it, needed to tell him that he wasn’t alone.

“I know.” He squeezed her even as a wave of love flavored with the primal fury of the cat came down the bond between them. “I can feel you inside me.”

So could she, she thought in mute wonder, so could she.

•   •   •

A week later, Annie sat down in Zach’s lap, blocking his view of the football game. He reached up to kiss her. “Want to play, Teach?”

She always wanted to play with him. But they had things to discuss. “No, this is business.”

He turned off the game. “So?”

“So we have to have a wedding.”

“We’re mated.” A growl poured out of his mouth. “Why the hell do we need to have a wedding? Those things drive everyone crazy—last year, I saw a grown man cry during the buildup.”

Once, she would’ve wondered how on earth changeling women dared stand up to their mates when the men got all growly. Now she knew—just like her, those women knew that heaven might fall and the earth might crumble, but their mates would never hurt them. “Didn’t you say we were going to have a mating ceremony?”

“It’s not really a ceremony.” He scowled. “More a celebration of our being together.”

She couldn’t help it. She reached out to stroke her fingers through his hair. “It’s getting stronger,” she said.

“It’ll keep doing that.” His scowl turned into a smile that hit her right in the heart. “Even when we’re a hundred and twenty, I’ll still want to crawl all over you.”

“Zach, you’re a menace.” And she loved him for it. Was starting to truly see what she’d gotten when she accepted the mating. It was a powerful, almost vicious need, but it was also a bond of the deepest, most unflinching love. Even when he wasn’t with her, she felt him loving her deep inside. “We need to have a wedding,” she said, coaxing him with a slow kiss, “because my parents need to see me married, and Caro’s already picked out a matron of honor dress.” Then she dealt what she knew would be the deathblow to any further objections. “Their happiness is important to me.”

He blew out a breath. “Fine. When?”

“I was thinking spring for both ceremonies.”

“That’s a while away.” He slid his hands under her sweater, touching skin. “We could do it at Christmas. A present for both of us.”

“No,” she said, stroking his nape with her fingertips. “It has to be spring. I want everything alive and growing.” As she felt she was growing, opening, becoming. “And I already have my present.”

Eyes the color of the deepest ocean gleamed with feline curiosity. “Yeah?”

“A long time ago, during the Christmas I lay in hospital,” she told him, retrieving a memory that had once been painful, but was now full of wonder, “I wished for someone who would be mine, someone I could play with and share all my secrets.” Never could she have imagined the astonishing final outcome of that long-ago wish.

He moved his hands down to close over her thighs. “Are you calling me your gift?”

“Yes.” She smiled. “How do you feel about that?”

“Like it’s my turn to be unwrapped.” He nibbled at her mouth. “Do it slow.”

Her laughter mingled with his and the sound felt like starlight on her skin, like the promise of forever…like a lick of “majick.”