Chapter Seven
Raelynn
I can’t believe how much fun I’ve been having with Nate. I realize that in less than a month my contract will end at Data Solutions, and I’ll no longer see him on a daily basis, and that reality twists me up inside.
The truth is I’m crazy about him. On the outside, he’s all hot male, but on the inside he’s still that same sweet boy who gave me his pencil after Michael Fraser broke mine. He was kind and shy back in the day, but when he talked to me, he gave me his full, undivided attention, just like he does now. Unlike other guys who came and went over the years, he wasn’t looking over my shoulder to get a glimpse of my beautiful, talented sister. I might not have seen what a great guy he was then, but I sure as hell do now.
So what am I going to do about it?
I pace inside my office, my heels tapping the floor as I go from my window to my desk. There’s a part of me that wants to believe Nate knew it was me that first night we ran into each other at Pat’s Pub, and is waiting for me to open up to him. How do I do that without coming off as crazy? But there is another part of me—the insecure part born from years of living in my sister’s shadow—that is afraid to believe it’s me he really likes, afraid to want more.
I have to talk to him, find out the truth, and see if we have something more here. I glance at my watch. Even though I’d like to go see him now, I promised Saralynn I’d meet her for lunch at Pat’s. She’s only home for another week, and I feel bad that I haven’t spent more time with her.
I grab my purse and hat, and make my way out into the bright sunshine. Keeping my hat pulled low, I hurry down the sidewalk, but when I enter the pub, my sister is nowhere to be found. Typical. I’m always mindful of the time, and she’s forever late. I make a quick trip to the little girls’ room to freshen up my lipstick and fix my hat hair.
Three girls I recognize from the office, but have never formally met, all enter behind me as I pull out my comb and try not to eavesdrop. But it’s hard not to because they’re giggling like schoolgirls and talking about…Nate.
I swallow, and avoid eye contact as they compare notes on his hotness.
One of the girls fixes her hair, and with long manicured fingers, grabs her lipstick from her oversized purse. “Yeah, but I know a girl from Data Solutions’ branch in California, and she said he’s a total player. Slept his way around the office. Or so she says.”
“Then I can’t wait until he reaches my floor,” the blonde responds, and they all laugh.
“He’s got a reputation a mile high,” the pretty brunette adds.
Lipstick Girl wags her brows. “That’s not the only thing he has that’s a mile high. Or so I heard.”
“Ohmigod, Cheri, you are so bad.”
“No fun in being good,” Cheri says, and presses her lips together as she recaps her lipstick. She drops it in her purse, and the other girls follow her out the door.
I take a minute to catch my breath. Nate is a player? Sleeps his way around the office? Is he sleeping with other women besides me? I give that a moment of consideration and shake my head. He can’t be. We’ve been together nearly every night since he first took my yoga class.
But what about the night’s we weren’t together? Was he with someone else? Maybe he really had thought I was Saralynn, and he was having fun with the two Walker twins. Was Saralynn out with him the nights I wasn’t? I figured she had a man in Baltimore, when we could never seem to connect.
Bile punches into my throat and my legs go a little weak as I mull that over for another second.
No, Nate isn’t like that. He’s kind, caring and attentive. He might have been a player once—most guys are—but he’s not like that anymore. Deep in my heart, I know what we have is the real deal. I feel it in every fiber of my being.
With that last thought in mind, I step from the bathroom.
But when I look for my sister, and find her arms wrapped around Nate, her lips on his, my vision goes a little fuzzy around the edges.
What the hell?
I back up, and grip the doorframe to keep myself up right. Am I seeing things?
I blink, but when I open my eyes again, her lips are no longer on his but they’re still embraced. My stomach cramps and tears prick my eyes. Here, I’d just convinced myself he wasn’t a guy to sleep around, yet he’s got his arms around my sister. Could I have been so wrong about him? Could he have thought he’d slept with Saralynn all this time and then jumped into bed with me, too? Is he still sleeping with her?
Do I have any right to be this upset?
At first I’d pretended to be my sister, then settled on having an affair with him as myself. It’s not like we were dating. Then again, if we weren’t dating, why was he keeping track? Was he simply playing a game, or was he actually pursuing a relationship?
As I think about that, try to sort things through, my sister’s voice reaches my ears. She says something to Nate and he laughs in response. My stomach sinks, and for a minute I worry something will be said and the truth about that first night will come out. Nate will surely think I’m a nut job for pretending to be Saralynn, and I’m not so sure he’d be wrong.
Oh, God, what a mess.
As fight-or-flight instincts kick in, my old friend Sean Collins, whose family own this bar, walks by.
“Sean,” I say quickly.
He turns to me and a smile lights his face. “Rae, how are you? I haven’t seen you in forever.”
We exchange a hug and I put my arm through his. “I’m in a hurry, will you walk me out?”
“Sure,” he says, and I try to focus as he speaks to me, but I’m so caught up in my sister, and Nate, that it’s hard to concentrate. I pull my hat down lower on my head as he opens the door for me. “Let’s catch up soon,” he says as I hurry down the street, not back to work but home, where I can sort through my feelings. Facing Nate at the office after seeing him with Saralynn is the last thing I want.
By the time I reach home, my phone is pinging, and I pull it from my pocket to see a dozen messages from Saralynn, asking me what’s going on.
Wasn’t feeling well, I text back. Taking a sick day. Sorry.
Sean said you were in a hurry to get out of the pub. I didn’t realize you were here.
Yeah, sorry, going to lie down now.
I’ll come over.
No, really, I’m okay.
I really want to talk to you. I have a new man in my life. It’s serious.
Oh, God.
Congrats, can’t wait to hear more when I’m better.
Not.
I power down my phone and toss it onto my counter, then grab a bottle of wine. It’s five o’clock somewhere, right? With shaky hands, I pour a huge glass of chardonnay and make my way to my bedroom. If I’m going to take a mental health day, I don’t plan to do it in my work clothes. As tears pool in my eyes, I peel off my skirt and blouse and slide into a T-shirt and boy-short pajama bottoms.
Wine in hand, I walk to the living room, plunk down on the sofa and grab the remote. Heartache sets my chest on fire as I flick the TV on to see two men beating the crap out of each other on Jerry Springer.
I finish the wine, grab another glass, and flick through the channels, wondering how I’ll ever face Nate again after finding him kissing my sister.
Thank God Sean came along.
Wait! Sean instantly knew it was me. How did he know the difference between Saralynn and me? Then again, those who knew us well could always see the small differences.
Did Nate know me that well?
My mind goes back to the night in his hotel room, and I think about the things we said, as well as the things we didn’t. Like who I really was—and that’s when it occurs to me.
“Oh. My. God,” I say out loud, then glance over my shoulder, even though I’m alone and no one can hear me talking to myself. Damn, maybe I really am a nut job. But who can blame me for talking to myself? Not after I just realized that not once had Nate called me Saralynn that first night.
He had to have known. He had to.
But why were he and Saralynn kissing?
Oh, God, I am so damn confused.
A loud knock on my door has me jumping to my feet, and I spill my wine. “Dammit.” I set the glass down and shake my hand. Who the hell would be at my door in the middle of a workday?
I swing open the door to tell whoever is on the other side to go away, because I need to find Nate, and we need to talk.
But when I come face to face with the man I’m in love with, my heart nearly stops.
“Nate,” I say, suddenly breathless.
“Rae,” he returns. “I’ve been meaning to give you this.” He hands out my blouse, the buttons now intact. “I told you I’d replace it.”
I take the blouse, my pulse jumping in my throat. “Did you know all along?” I ask, wondering where we go from here.
Leaning in, he drops a soft kiss onto my mouth, and I melt into him. “That first day in Pat’s Pub, when you kissed me and I said I’d waited my whole life for this, I wasn’t kidding. I had waited my whole life for you. I’m in love with you, Rae.”
“You…are?” I choke out around a throat gone tight.
He loves me!
“Of course I am. How could I not be? You’re everything a guy could want.”
“You really knew it was me?” I ask, needing to hear it again. “Never once thought I was Saralynn?”
“From the second you entered Pat’s, I knew it was you. I told you, I like nice.”
He runs his fingers along my arm and goose bumps form. “I thought nice was boring.”
A deep laugh rumbles in his throat. “Boring. You’re anything but.”
Something niggles in the back of my mind, something that doesn’t make sense. “But you were hugging Saralynn.”
“Yeah, I know.”
I swallow. At least he’s not trying to deny it. Then again, he said he’d always be honest with me. If that’s the case, why didn’t he tell me he knew it was me all along?
“Your sister was being chased down the street, ran into the pub, and straight up to me. Isn’t that a total Saralynn thing to do?”
Heat moves into my face. “Yeah, when it happened to me, I kept thinking what would Saralynn do.”
He cups my chin. “That’s what you saw, nothing more.”
“She texted and said she had a new man in her life. I thought…”
“It’s not me. It never was.”
“Why didn’t you tell me you knew?”
“I figured you’d tell me when you were ready, and I went along with it that first night because it seemed like it was something you needed to do.”
“Just once I wanted to be my sister, you know?”
“I know.”
“You don’t think I’m crazy?”
“What I think is, I’m crazy about you, and I want it all, Rae. The house, the kids, the dog. I even want you to sing in the shower every day.” She gives me an evil look at the reminder of her horrible voice, and I laugh. “Tell me you want that, too.”
“That’s an awful lot to want.”
“I can’t help it.”
“Well, you’re going to have to let me think on all that,” I says and his face drops. Worry lingers in his eyes.
“Rae,” he says, and reaches for me.
“I can’t, Nate.”
“Rae, please…”
I shake my head. “The singing is a deal breaker.”
“But I love your singing.” He touches my hair, run the strands between those deft fingers of his, fingers I love having on my body. “I love every sound you make.” I roll my eyes at him. “It’s true.” He pulls in a deep breath. “Rae,” he begins again. “Tell me you want those things.”
“Remember when you said you wanted to tie me to your bed and keep me there?”
His body goes tight at the reminder. “How could I ever forget that?”
I give him a mischievous grin. “How about I make some other sounds you love, and I’ll give you my answer then.”
A smile lights up his handsome face. “Yeah, right now?”
“Yes.” I put my hand on his chest, feel his strong heartbeat. “Then it’s a date.”
He angles his head. “A date, huh?”
“Yeah.”
He grins at me. “Which number?”
I run my hand over his chest and splay my fingers. “Before I answer, can you tell me what happens on the tenth date?”
He gathers me into his arms, and kicks the door shut behind him. “Everything happens on the tenth date, Rae. Everything.”
I put my lips to his ear and whisper, “Then ten it is.”