Chapter Four
“So, you’re all packed up, Caity-bug,” Will murmurs, kicking at the suitcases by his sister’s feet.
It’s a beautiful late summer day with a cool breeze, and they’re standing in the driveway with the dark gray clapboard and stone two-story house they grew up in looming behind them. It’s the place where they lived through their mom’s endless relationship dramas, where they grieved the loss of Caitlin’s father, Roger, and from which both of them have always been eager to escape.
Will admires his sister in the crisp afternoon light. She’s beautiful, with buttery hair that’s styled loose and free, falling down either side of her shoulders to frame her buxom chest. Her flower-patterned sundress is topped with a light sweater, and she’s wearing cowboy boots. Like their mom.
She’s always been soft and rounded, and as she’s grown up that hasn’t changed. But now she’s woman where a little girl used to be, and Will can’t believe how beautiful she looks.
“It took forever to whittle it down to just these suitcases, but I think I have everything I really need.” She smiles tremulously at him with the blue sky reflected in her eyes. It’s just the two of them since Olivia and Connor are at school, having already told Caitlin goodbye over breakfast.
“We can ship anything you’ve forgotten. Or you can buy what you need out there. Don’t worry about money.”
She slips her arm around his waist and half-hugs him. “Thanks. You and Nonna are being really good to me. Mom’s being…” She rolls her eyes. “Mom.”
He doesn’t point out that while their mother is a mess, Caitlin doesn’t make it any easier when she blocks Kimberly from her life the way she tends to do. He doesn’t say it because Patrick tells him that kind of comment “enables the abuser”—wherein the abuser is Kimberly—and that Will needs to stop defending his mother when she’s being indefensible. It’s a thing he’s working on.
“Yeah. I know how she can be. Feeling scared?”
“Not so much scared, but…”
“Not exactly ready to go out in the big wide world all alone, either?”
Caitlin’s lower lip wobbles, and she throws herself into his arms. “I’m so ready to get away from here. Mom makes me crazy,” she whispers, her voice clogged with tears. “So why am I crying? It’s not like I’m scared to leave home, but…but it’s still my home, you know?”
Will hugs her for a long time, smoothing his hand through her hair, breathing in her scent. He remembers when his mom brought her home from the hospital. She’d smelled so fresh and new. Now she smells like fruity perfume.
“You’ve worked hard for this. You’re going to be great out there. I’m proud of you and you don’t need to worry about anything going on here at home. Mom, Uncle Kevin, Patrick, and I can hold down the fort.”
“I know you can, but I feel so guilty dumping the kids on you.” She pulls free of his arms and wipes at her eyes. Her mascara smudges, but she gets it on the next pass. “You took care of me all these years, and I know I’m skipping out on paying you back.”
“Oh, Caity-bug, no. I didn’t take care of you so you’d eventually do the same for Olivia and Connor. I want you to grow into your best self, and if that means going to Colorado for school, then that’s all I want for you.”
Will can’t blame Caitlin for choosing to go so far away from their crazy family, but he really is going to miss her. Olivia and Connor will miss her too. And not just for her chauffeuring and babysitting skills. He knows she’s been the one keeping the household together since he and Patrick married.
He’ll do his best to keep things sane for them. In the end, it’ll likely be Olivia’s turn to step up and help care for Connor until she flees the nest too.
“Really? You’re not mad? Even a little?” The breeze whips at them. He smells a hint of rain coming in.
“Not even a little.” He tucks her hair behind her ear. “How are Olivia and Connor taking things?”
“Olivia says she’s happy I’m leaving so she can get my room.”
“That’s a lie. She’s going to miss you.”
“I know. And Connor is angry.” Her lips twist. “I know he’s just nine, but…”
“Remember how angry Olivia was with me when I went to school?”
Caitlin laughs. “I remember. She got all the socks that you’d left behind, doused them in lighter fluid, and burned them in a giant pile out here on the driveway. You can still see the scorch marks.” She points at a blackened area near the basketball net.
“But she got over it.”
“Eventually.” Caitlin eyes him pensively.
“What?”
“It’s just strange remembering that time. Back when you were with Ryan.”
“Oh. Yeah.” Will clears his throat. He gazes up at the sky and sees darker clouds edging onto the horizon. “That feels like another life.”
She nods slowly. “Do you ever hear from him?”
Will shakes his head. A slither of guilt tries to worm in, telling him he should know what’s happening with his ex, his first love, his first everything. But he shoves the thoughts away ruthlessly. “I haven’t seen or heard from him in a very long time.”
“Oh.” She lowers her brows and stares over his shoulder, her expression saying she knows something and she’s not sure whether she should tell him.
He licks his lips. “I hope he’s happy wherever he is.”
She nods and clears her throat, eyes darting to the ground as she crosses her arms. The sky is quiet as the dark, fat clouds roll closer. The silence between them grows and he knows whatever news she’s holding back, it’s not good.
“What have you heard?” he eventually whispers.
“Not much.” She meets his eyes, and her own are full of empathy. “Hartley came back into town for his dad’s funeral and he looks pretty bad. And not just from grief. He looks…bad.”
“I know.” Well, he didn’t know Hartley had been in town recently, but the last time he saw him still haunts his dreams. Hartley had been a shell of the proud man he’d been before he left town with Ryan. And Will still thinks the shadows under his eyes were healing bruises.
“Ryan wasn’t with him when I ran into him at Brown Gargle. But Andy Sicko told me later that Hartley told him Ryan’s in the hospital.”
Will swallows hard.
“Yeah,” Caitlin whispers. “With acute liver failure from drinking. They’re trying to get him on a transplant list, but it doesn’t look good.”
Will breathes in and out slowly. As far as the whole reel-him-in-and-then-clock-him-with-a-two-by-four act goes, Caitlin’s just as good as Kimberly, apparently. “I see. That…that sucks.”
“Yeah. But I don’t understand. Ryan never drank when he was with you.”
“No.” Will shakes his head.
While they were together, Ryan hadn’t ever had a drop as far as Will knew. Instead he just drove Will to drink, taking some kind of addictive, abusive pleasure in hurting Will, undermining him, and setting him up to fail.
“I wonder why he started drinking again after you broke up?”
Will shivers. He doesn’t want to think about these things. He doesn’t want to know. He swallows with an audible click and stuffs his hands into his pockets, rocking back and forth on his heels, trying to regain his balance.
“Do you think he couldn’t forget you?” Caitlin asks, gently.
“No,” Will whispers. “I think he’s an alcoholic.”
“So are you. And now that you’re with Patrick, you don’t drink anymore, either.”
Will wipes a hand over his mouth. “It’s not like it’s always easy. It’s not like I don’t have to make a daily effort to stay sober. I didn’t fall in love with Patrick and wake up cured.”
“I know. But you’re so much happier with Patrick. Doesn’t that help?”
“Yes. It helps. But it doesn’t mean I never struggle with it.”
The lines between her brows deepen. “Maybe Ryan wasn’t as happy with Hartley. Maybe that’s why—”
“Stop!” Will puts his hand on Caitlin’s shoulder and squeezes. He swallows down swelling nausea. “I can’t think about things like that, Caitlin. I can’t be responsible for him.”
“Oh! I didn’t mean you were!” Her eyes go wide, and he believes she hadn’t intended that implication. “I just…never mind. I should have kept my mouth shut.”
Will smiles, but his gut churns. “It’s okay. I was bound to find out anyway.”
“I’m surprised Patrick didn’t tell you. It has to be all over that Hurting Times app he loves so much.”
Will rubs a hand over his suddenly sweaty forehead. No doubt Patrick does know all about Ryan’s situation and Hartley’s visit. But Patrick also knows Will too well and loves him too much to think he needs to hear anything about it.
He’ll want to protect Will from these feelings surging inside of him now. He’ll want to keep Will from thinking about the Tallgrass bar and how easy it can be to stop by there on the way home.
Patrick understands Will better than Caitlin or Kimberly or Kevin ever will. The real surprise here is that Kimberly hasn’t told him already. Surely she knows? Maybe she finally believes him when he says that Ryan was abusive? Or maybe she’s just tired of that particular fight? He has no idea.
Will tries to change the subject back to something safe. Back to Caitlin and her future. “What time are you heading out?”
“In an hour. Nonna and Reba are picking me up, and then Nonna is flying out with me.” She chews on her bottom lip. “Where’s Mom? She said she’d be here. She’s supposed to bring Uncle Kevin from the farm with her to say goodbye to me too.”
Will rubs her arms. “She’ll be here. They’ll both be here. Like Uncle Kevin would let you go without hugging his Caity-bug.”
“I know, it’s just… She makes me crazy. Sometimes I doubt things I shouldn’t ever have a reason to doubt.”
Will laughs. “I know. Me too.”
He leads her over to the shaded side porch and takes her suitcases in case it starts to rain. Then they sit on the loveseat glider Kimberly put out a few years ago.
Taking her hand, he threads her fingers with his own. “I’m glad Nonna is going out to Colorado with you. She’ll make sure your dorm room is set up in style.”
Caitlin snorts. “Mom’s pissed about it. She wanted to take me herself, but I told her no. I don’t want her ruining it for me, you know?”
Will nods.
“She and Nonna fought about it.”
“I bet they did.”
“Nonna and I won.”
Will nods and slings his arm over Caitlin’s shoulder. The loveseat glides back and forth slowly. “As if anyone could defeat the combined forces of Eleanora Molinaro and Caitlin Flemings-Patterson.”
They rock in silence for a while. Will lets his worries about Ryan and his urge for a drink drift away like the dark clouds across the sky. The smell of rain passes as the plains pull the sky toward the west. It’s been over two years since his last drink. He’s happily married and getting ready to head out on a much-belated honeymoon. Getting drunk now would jeopardize so much more than he’s ever had to lose before. He doesn’t need it.
He wants it.
But he doesn’t need it.
Finally, Caitlin murmurs, “Everyone else’s parents will be there and I’ll just have Nonna. She’s not even my real grandmother. She’s yours.”
Their mother’s twisted and doomed relationships have left them all with a hodge-podge of convoluted family members, and Will’s biological father has left him with even more.
“That doesn’t mean Nonna doesn’t love you.”
“I know.”
“Because she does.”
“I know.” She flips her hair impatiently.
“Do you want me to go with you?”
“No! You need to get ready for your trip with Patrick. Besides, I don’t want my brother there. I want my mom. Get it? But she’s…” Caitlin waves her hands around. “I hate that I feel so mixed-up about this.”
“Feeling mixed-up about Mom means you’re sane.” Will thinks about the guilt that’s been stamped on his heart since breakfast. “She’s good at making us doubt ourselves.”
As their time together draws to a close, Will gets out his wallet and hands Caitlin a couple hundreds. “Take these. Once you and Nonna set up a bank account, I’ll wire you an allowance every month. Be responsible with it.”
“Seriously?”
“I believe in you, Caitlin.”
She hugs him tightly and struggles with tears again, tight little puffs of wet breath hitting his neck. He fights off his own. Eventually, she whispers, “You need to go?”
“Yeah. I’m sorry I can’t wait for Nonna and Reba with you.” Though he isn’t sad about missing his mother again.
As if on cue, Will’s phone vibrates and he sighs to see that Owen, his right-hand man at Good Works, requires his presence back at the office to sign a ton of papers before he leaves town himself. “I have to go, but I’m always here for you. Always. I’m just text or call away. Or come home if you really need to, okay? You’re always welcome home.”
“Thank you.” She hugs him again and Will clutches her tightly. “Have fun in…” She frowns. “Where are you two going?”
Will smiles. “It’s a secret.”
Caitlin grins. “Oh, okay. Good plan. Don’t let Mom find out the details or she’ll find some way to make your honeymoon all about her. I want to hear everything when you get back, okay?”
“We can FaceTime.”
Caitlin kisses his cheek, and he squeezes her hand. “You’re gonna be amazing out there,” he tells her again.
“Get in your car and go, cheeseball. Jeez.” She shoves him playfully. “You’re getting borderline ridiculous now.”
Will blows her another kiss as he climbs into his BMW and heads back into town. He knows Caitlin’s future will be bright, but a tug in his gut tells him nothing is ever going to be the same once she crosses the town line.
She’ll have flown.
“Will isn’t answering his texts or his phone.” Kimberly tosses her phone back into her blue Christian Louboutin purse. “Neither is Caitlin. What if he’s drinking? What if she’s dead in a ditch?”
Patrick ignores her. If there’s a problem with Will’s blood sugar, even a big insulin dump like one required to cover the onslaught of a bunch of alcoholic drinks, his phone will get a notification from the monitor. If Will wants to turn off his phone to avoid the drama llama that is his mother, that’s his prerogative. Patrick wishes he could turn off his reality to avoid it himself.
He checks Kevin’s pupils and reflexes, and reviews the SCAT-2 findings again. The concussion is mild, but he’s not taking chances with his uncle-in-law.
“Will’s probably in a meeting,” Kevin says sensibly. “I don’t need him here. Honestly, Kimberly, I don’t need you here either. I’m fine. Go on home.”
“I already missed saying goodbye to Caitlin,” she says morosely.
Kevin sighs. “That was your choice. I told you I was fine here alone.”
“You’re not fine, Kevin! You could have a brain bleed and die. Do you understand?” Her eyes go annoyingly wide. “Die! And what would I do without you?”
Kevin sighs.
Patrick raises his brow and sends what he hopes is a sympathetic look but it’s probably more of a “your sister is cray-cray, and you’re marginally less dumb than I thought” look instead. He’s apparently good at those.
Kevin rolls his eyes, and Patrick’s not sure if that’s for Kimberly or him.
Kimberly’s phone dings and she gasps. “It’s Caitlin. They were in the air when I texted. They just landed to make their connection. She’s angry. I need to call her.”
Patrick slaps the sign on the wall by the bed. “Out.”
“What?”
He slaps the sign again. “No cell phones. Out.”
“That’s absurd. I’ve seen you use your cell phone in these rooms. No one pays attention to those signs.”
“Unless you want these monitors to miss something important about your brother that could lead to him being a brain-dead zombie by dinnertime, then get out of this hospital room. You can use your phone on one of the outdoor decks or at an entrance.”
Kimberly glares at him, huffs as she pulls her purse over her shoulder, and marches out with a toss of her blond head.
“She’s been on that phone all day,” Kevin says, scrubbing a hand over his jaw, worry threading his voice.
“The sign’s crap. I needed a break.”
Kevin barks a soft laugh. “Oh. Well, thanks. I needed a break too.”
Patrick shares a smile with the man who once tried to convince Will not to stay married to him and who’d been completely snowed by Ryan Whitehead for years. Time mends all wounds, apparently.
“What’s the diagnosis, doc?” Kevin asks.
“Mild concussion. I’m going to keep you here overnight for observation. There’s no evidence of anything to worry about, but I want to be safe.” Or risk Will’s wrath if something happens to his uncle.
Kevin’s eyes go thoughtful. “Will the nurse who was in earlier be here tonight?”
Patrick lifts a brow, smirking. “No, Varun’s left for the day, but the night nurses aren’t absolute idiots, so I think you’ll be fine.”
“Thanks. I wish I remembered what happened. And I hope Sunburst moseyed on home. There’s no one I really trust to bring him back in.”
“He’s a horse on a horse farm. He’ll be fine.”
Kevin nods. “So, about that nurse…”
“Yes, he’s gay and available.”
Kevin’s face floods red. “I…didn’t…he…”
“He’s pretty. I understand.”
“He’s not…” Kevin grows even redder. “I’m not interested in him like that. I just wanted to say that you seem overly familiar with him, and vice versa. Frankly, I want to believe there’s nothing happening there, but I can’t say it didn’t cross my mind.”
Patrick guffaws. “Puh-lease. He’s got gorgeous eyes, but he’s not Will.”
“And he’s not Roy,” Kevin says, his lips tilting up and his gray-green eyes shading sad.
Patrick nods. “Understood.”
“Yes, well. Good. I just needed to be sure. Will’s been through enough in his life.”
Patrick barely keeps back a snarling comment about how a lot of that suffering was because Kevin and Kimberly didn’t see Ryan for the abusive jerk he really was, but he keeps it in and gives himself a thousand bonus points. He must have leveled up in the social skills department, because a year ago, he’d have let it rip.
“Speaking of Will,” he says, backing away from Kevin’s hospital bed. “I need to get home. You rest up. Do what the nurses say and you can most likely get back to the farm tomorrow morning.”
Kevin leans back, the blue gown making his eyes look slate-gray. “Thanks for your help today. I know it made Kimberly feel better that you were the one treating me.”
“Anything for a Patterson.” Patrick throws open the door, heading out into the quiet hallway. It’s early evening, and he’s done all the damage he can do at the hospital. He’s ready for home and Will.