Chapter Seven
Jay loaded in three bundles of wood for Winter and the kid, along with some milk and other things. He somehow got roped into buying a toy truck that looked like his. It was big enough he wouldn’t swallow any pieces. He would have grabbed diapers and stuff, but he didn’t know what he wore, or if she needed any. He was already going to look like a moron when he went to her cabin in a few hours. But what else could he do? He didn’t have the father figure to show him what to do right, so maybe he should just do what his didn’t. It couldn’t be worse than doing nothing. Plus, something told him that if he fucked up, Winter would call him on his bullshit. A small smile tugged at him at that very thought. Could he really do this? Shit.
Slamming shut the tailgate, he walked around to the driver’s side. Doing a quick glance, he made sure he had everything for the storm that was slowly starting to come down. It had got here quicker than he expected. Hell, Jay assumed the storm would have come tomorrow at the soonest, and now, it looked like it was about to fall down on them any second. The first storm in December was always the worst for people. It was when people realized either they don’t have everything they need, or something is breaking, or they are going to be just fine. He already knew he would be fine. But Winter? No, she would need help, for sure.
Heading up the hill, he took one last look at the town, and for the first time in his life, he was questioning what to do next. He didn’t know if she did play him now. The fact remained he didn’t trust her; yet, she did have his kid. At least that’s what she said. And despite what she must think of him, he wasn’t going to be a deadbeat dad. He got pissed when he saw men drink their money away instead of paying for their kid’s school or some shit like that. He didn’t know what type of father he would be, but it didn’t matter. Overnight, he had decided he was going to be there, whether Winter liked it or not.
The snow was sticking to the road, and the sooner he got to Winter the better he would feel about everything. It took a little longer to make it to Winter’s cabin, and when it did, the snow was coming down harder. He would need to make sure Winter was okay with the kid. His kid. Fuck, he needed to remember that when he talked to her.
As he came closer, he could see the snow covering her tiny cabin. She hadn’t lost power yet, but it was only a matter of time, and by the lack of wood outside in the shed, she hadn’t chopped any and hadn’t had any delivered. It was a good thing he’d brought her some from town. Sure, he could’ve given her some of his, but the truth was, he didn’t know how long her power would be out, and if she needed it, he would just take her into town. He had every intention of not leaving his cabin, even from a strong winter’s storm.
Putting his truck in park, he grabbed the things inside the cab, things he could at least get in the front door and get her talking to him. As he approached, he could hear the kid crying, and her singing something. Not wanting to scare her, or mess up whatever routine she had going, he knocked before opening the door.
“Winter?”
“Jay, please. I’ve had enough. I get it, you want nothing to do with him or me. Just come back another day, and I’ll sign whatever paperwork you need.”
“He okay?” Setting the items down on the small kitchen counter, he walked over to her. The kid was crying and holding a blue blanket.
“Yeah, just think he is getting his two-year-old molars a little early, so his mouth hurts him. I need to give him some Tylenol, but every time I put him down, he cries harder to the point he will start gagging. So here I rock and wait until he starts to sleep and then give it to him. It’s nothing I haven’t dealt with before.” She offered him a small smile but didn’t hold it long as she went back to walking up and down the living room, ignoring him completely.
Not wanting her to stop what she was doing because the boy’s crying was easing down to whimpers, he put the milk in the fridge and put away the cookies and other items. Not wanting to freak her out, he left the toy in the kitchen. Instead of leaving, he sat on the arm of the small couch and watched her. From where he was sitting, she looked like crap. Not that it was a bad thing. She looked tired, her hair was in a messy bun, and she had on the same clothes she wore yesterday. Everyone he talked to said it was common for a woman to look tired; she probably wouldn’t have looked so bad if he had been there to help, or someone else helped her some. So there he sat, not saying anything, just watching her singing and walking.
Winter could feel his eyes bore into her back as she sang to Felix. She hated days like this, but in the end, it was hers to endure. She never wanted to give him up, and whether a cranky day or a happy day, she would always be there for him. However, she felt tired and worn from the night before, when she spent a good chunk of it crying over all the hateful and hurtful things Jay had said about her. But yet, here he sat, watching her every movement like he didn’t have anything else to do.
Felix was starting to go to sleep, which would allow her the opportunity to give him some pain meds. She had tried to balance him to do the medicine before, but he’d ended up knocking it over; one other time, he almost fell from her arms. He was tall like his father, and definitely hadn’t inherited her own short stature. Doing her best to ignore Jay, she swung Winnie the Pooh over and over again, until Felix’s little green eyes closed and his crying stopped. Her shoulder sagged from relief and the small ache she had since she started the whole thing about forty-five minutes ago finally eased. When his breathing finally evened out, and his tiny little snore hit her ears, she made her way over to his playpen. He was getting a little too big for it, but he was a good baby and didn’t climb out.
Laying him down, she covered him with his little blue moose blanket that Opal had given him when he turned a year old. He loved that thing and the way his little mouth puckered when he slept made her realize how much he had grown since then. Still ignoring Jay, who was still watching her, she went into the tiny bathroom and grabbed the baby Tylenol. Putting the little syringe into the pink bottle, she measured the amount for his weight before putting the cap back on. Walking over to Felix, she placed it to his tiny mouth, and he slowly sucked it down, as if on instinct. At least he could sleep in peace and not hurt from his poor teeth. Plus, it would keep down the small fever he had. Best stay ahead of things before they got worse.
When he was out, she put everything away and finally went into the kitchen, tugging Jay’s arm so he followed. She didn’t want to wake Felix, and right now, going into the bedroom with him would be a bad idea.
“What do you want?”
“I’m sorry. I want to say how sorry I am. I was an ass, like in colossal amounts. I never should have even questioned you. I mean, sure I was shocked and all, but still. Fuck, Winter, I have a kid.” She placed her hands on her hips, trying to decide if she was pissed or a little happy he’d actually apologized. For the moment, she went for stunned.
“Okay… so what do you want, Jay?”
“First, can I know his name?”
“His name?” She was shocked—this was not what she would have expected from him. Okay, she could play along. After all, Felix was his son, too.
“Felix. Felix Jay.” Unable to look him in the eyes when he said it.
“Jay? As in my name?”
“I only knew you by Jay. I didn’t add your last name because I wasn’t sure what would happen. Never had a kid before.” She offered him a small smile.
“Jules. My real name is Jules, but I go by Jay because I hate that name. I like Felix, it suits him.” His ran his hands through his hair and scrubbed his face. “Look, Winter, I want to do this with you. You know, for him. I don’t want my kid thinking I’m some deadbeat. Cause that’s not me. So, please, can we start over and try this?” Winter bit her lip, trying to figure him out. He was hot and cold, and she needed, well, normal. For Felix, she would try.
“Wanna stay for dinner?” She didn’t have a lot to cook, but she would try to make something for them all. Hope he liked spaghetti, because that’s one of the things she didn’t burn. She was getting better, but it took time.
“Umm, sure. I got a few things for you, and umm, him. I got him a truck. I didn’t do the teddy bear thing, so I got him something that would be fun. Hope that’s okay?” She nodded and looked at his gift. Felix would love it. Guess she knew where he got his love for cars from.
Before she asked him anything else, he went outside. Unsure of what he was doing, she followed him, tugging on her coat stepping out into the snowy porch. When had it started snowing? Crap. She had been so wrapped up in Felix, she hadn’t noticed it. It made her start to worry about the wood she had yet to call in, or chop herself. Maybe she wasn’t cut out for country living. God, all she wanted to do was find a safe place for Felix to run and play while she painted and was happy. Guess that dream was short-lived.
However, when she looked back up, she was blown away when she saw Jay come walking over with a ton of wood from his truck. He had brought her firewood. Wow. She couldn’t help the tears that fell from her eyes. He’d thought enough of her and their son to make sure they would be warm. Not wanting to disturb him while he unloaded everything, she went to work on dinner.
Dinner was interesting. Felix slept a good two hours, giving them both time to talk about their lives. He asked about the pregnancy and how it happened. She didn’t lie, didn’t hold anything back about how awful the sickness was, and how alone she was during the emergency C-section. He spoke about how he got all the land and wanted to stay away from people. By the end of the meal, it seemed like they had been friends for years.
The churning deep in her belly still lingered when she looked at him. Small butterflies danced with longing to be close to him again. Her memory haunted her many nights when she was lonely and just needed someone to hold her. The way he made her body sing with excitement and lust. It was just that, lust. Over time, she had grown to want something more in life, for her and for Felix. She wanted love. Someone who would love her, care about her, and do the same for her son. So far, Jay didn’t fit the bill, but if she got to know him better, then maybe. Right now, she would have to settle for being friends and maybe invest in a vibrator at some point.
With dinner done, Felix was in complete need to be cleaned, so she picked up her son and went to the sink. Since the cabin didn’t have a bath, the sink was the best she could do. He couldn’t splash around, but he would get clean. Jay didn’t say anything, but cleaned up the table and the few toys littering the floor. It felt like a real family setting.
Felix was finally washed, after getting wet herself, and lots of laughs, she dressed her son for bed before setting him in the living room, watching Jay add more wood to the fire. She went to go play with him, but Felix seemed to enjoy Jay’s take on cars.
“I can stay and watch him for a few minutes if you want to shower. Power should go out sometime tonight or tomorrow. Might as well get it while you can.” She looked down at her food-stained clothes and could see she was a sight. Thanking him, she kissed Felix’s head before heading into the bathroom. The shower felt like heaven and a welcome relief to the cold outside and the grimy feeling she had.
When she was finally clean, she walked out in old sweat clothes, only to stop short when she looked at Jay holding Felix. Her sweet baby was sleeping, holding his new truck. As she got closer, Jay looked up at her with a small smile on his lips. He slowly stood, holding her boy, before laying him down in his bed and covering him up, just like she did.
“He really is something,” Jay said, looking down at their son.
“He’s one special little boy. Sorry, I didn’t mean to take so long.” He shook his head, patting for her to sit next to him on the couch. But just as she sat, the power that kept the tiny cabin full of life, went out. Great. Felix looked to be out for the count, and the loss of power didn’t seem to bother him.
“I’m sorry again, you know, that you had to do this all by yourself.” She waved it off, but Jay had turned to her, so she sat next to him, his knee touching hers. “You’re a good mom.” His smile reached his eyes, showing off the small dimple on his left cheek. Now she knew where Felix got his. He reached up and tucked a piece of damp hair behind her ear. It was a sweet gesture, one she hadn’t expected from him. She was grateful that the lights were out as it hid her flush.
“I’m glad you’re here, Jay. It’s been too long since I had a friend other than Opal.”
“Friend, huh?”
“Yeah, we should at least be friends, you know, for our son.” She didn’t know what to call them, but it was a start.
“Well, I guess I will take that, for now.” His face drew closer to hers, only a breath apart. He was letting her make the next move. Could she do this? Deal with the pain when he would leave again? She could stop it at any time. The feel of his beard tickled her skin, and she needed him, more than she had thought. Giving into temptation, Winter leaned in, kissing him.
Oh, this kiss could warm her any day or night in the middle of a blizzard.