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Wired Fear: Paradise Crime, Book 8 by Toby Neal (16)

Chapter Seventeen

Jake perused the aisles of the local Target store, looking for items for his and Sophie’s apartments and loading them onto a flatbed cart. It seemed ridiculous and redundant to buy two televisions, two futon foldout bed combos, two of everything, in fact—when hopefully, Sophie would soon be moving into his apartment.

Or, more likely, he would be moving into hers, since hers was bigger.

But Sophie’d begged off from sleeping with him last night, not a good sign. And this morning, he hadn’t had so much of a glimpse of her before she took off again for the secret project she was working on with Sheldon Hamilton.

He was also trying not to obsess about the pregnancy test.

All of it was making his chest ache. Jake rubbed his left pec, kneading the knot of the bullet scar near his shoulder, trying to relieve a tightness he couldn’t seem to shake.

Done with the shopping, he loaded the home furnishings into, and on top of, the Security Solutions SUV and headed back to the apartment building. He would unload the basics he’d bought, and they could spend some time that evening setting up the apartments. He was eager to be out of the motel with its lumpy beds and taint of mildew. Maybe they’d even spend the night in the new place—together.

Hamilton had given them a housing stipend as part of their salary packages, and Jake had cash deposits ready for the landlord, along with a little something to keep their addresses from being revealed to anyone who came asking. They had rented the apartments under their aliases as a precaution, and Jake planned to continue to pay the rents in cash.

He needed someone to talk to. Someone who had his best interests at heart. Someone loyal, and loving, who would give him no bullshit. There was only one person like that in his life: his sister Patty.

Jake speed dialed her number once he’d pulled up at the parking lot of the apartment building that would soon be their new address.

“Jake?” Patty’s voice sounded surprised when she answered. “Everything OK?”

“Hey sis. I know I don’t call often enough, but believe it or not, there’s no emergency. I’m just needing some more sisterly relationship advice. What you told me last time was so good—it actually worked.”

“Yay, that’s great! I’ve been meaning to call you myself and find out what happened with that coworker you told me you had feelings for.”

“We’re together now. She asked me, and I quote, ‘to be her lover.’” Jake couldn’t help grinning.

“That’s awesome…if that’s what you want?” Patty sounded a little worried. “I know you said she was kind of hard to pin down.”

“Patty, you should hang out a shingle giving relationship tips. You told me not to be needy, or clingy. Just to be so good she couldn’t forget me. I did that as best I could. And in the end, in spite of serious competition, she chose me.” Jake felt a little guilty over Alika. Poor guy had lost his arm as well as his heart.

“She almost picked another guy over you, Jake? Who is this woman?” Patty laughed. “Not that you’re hot stuff or anything, bro.”

“Sophie is unique. One in a million, truly. And I’m not the only one who thinks so.” Even with Alika laid up and out of the picture, Jake couldn’t rid himself of the feeling that Sophie might dump him at any moment. Just the thought made him clench his hands on the steering wheel. “She’s still tough to pin down. She wouldn’t agree to move in with me. Right now, I am shopping for two of everything for our apartments, which I think is stupid. But I respect the lady’s need for space, and I’m taking no for an answer. For the moment.” Jake cleared his throat. “On the same subject. I need a little more of that solid gold sisterly counsel. Things have been tricky with her. It seems like we take one step forward and two steps back at least half of the time. But she finally told me some of the reasons she was having difficulty being more open with me, and I thought we had a breakthrough. And then the very next day, I peeked into her backpack…and saw a pregnancy test.”

“Jake!” His sister’s voice was a cross between a squeal of joy and one of panic. “Cardinal rule—never look in a woman’s bag!”

Jake winced, shutting his eyes. “I know it was wrong.”

“Geez. You can’t possibly tell her you saw it.”

“But don’t I deserve to know? I mean, if she’s pregnant…isn’t it my baby, too?”

The line buzzed with Patty’s silence, and Jake squirmed.

This was one of those tricky areas where he felt totally out of his depth with women. Even though his sister was pregnant with her first baby and happily married, Patty felt strongly about a woman’s right to choose, that her body was her body. All of those issues seemed clear in theory, but not so much when they came down to actual fact. Because the thought of the woman he loved being pregnant activated feelings in Jake that felt primitive, intense, and urgent, way larger than the finer points of women’s political rights.

Jake struggled to find words. “I just want to help. Take care of Sophie. Make sure everything is okay. Kill anybody who might hurt her. Or the baby, if there is one. I don’t know how to talk about this.” He pushed a hand impatiently through his hair, tugging on it as he stared out of the parked SUV’s windshield. “Sophie not telling me about the pregnancy test feels…terrible. It’s like barbed wire wrapping around and around, digging into me no matter which way I move. I don’t know why she won’t talk to me about it. And, the fact that she hasn’t freaks me the hell out.”

“Jake…” His sister sighed his name out on a long breath. “Sadly, I can see it from both of your points of view. She’s probably way more freaked out than you are and has no idea what to do. She may even need more time to work up the nerve to take the test and find out for sure; she’s probably still just hoping that nature will take its course and the whole thing will go away.” Patty paused as if considering what to say. “If this woman isn’t ready to move in with you, she certainly isn’t ready to think about having a baby with you.”

His sister’s words, even softly spoken, still felt like a stab to the chest. Jake massaged that left pec, pressing hard on the source of his pain. “Don’t hold back, Patty. Give it to me straight.”

“That’s why you called me, big brother. Even when Matt and I were talking about kids, and had gone off birth control… Getting pregnant was still a big deal. I didn’t want to tell him at first. Didn’t want to get him involved, excited, invested. Didn’t want to have to deal with him and his feelings, too, when I was confused and conflicted myself. Telling him felt like too much.” Patty sighed. “And my situation is ideal for having a child. We’re married, committed to each other, financially solvent, even planning to have a family. And still it was scary to tell Matt. Hoping he’d be happy about it. Not sure what I would do if he wasn’t. And scared as hell, myself, about what we were getting into.”

“I guess I understand.” Jake leaned his forehead on the steering wheel. “It still feels like she doesn’t trust me.”

“You have to be patient. I can’t imagine what it must be like for your girlfriend. What she must be going through right now.”

His girlfriend.

That phrase really had a nice ring to it, coming out of his sister’s mouth.

He wouldn’t mind hearing Patty say Sophie was his fiancée.

Or better yet, his wife.

Heat broke out under Jake’s shirt, making it cling with nervous sweat. He looked up at the banyan tree sheltering their new apartment building. Mynahs were already roosting in its branches, chattering loudly. “What do you think I should do?”

“I thought I told you. Do nothing. Say nothing. And, when she tells you, whatever she tells you, you need to be there for her. She’s got a hell of a lot more at stake than you do.”

“I’ve got some skin in this game, too,” Jake muttered. “Literally.”

“That’s true. You did donate sperm—the fun part, as they say.” Patty’s tone was dry. “But it’s Sophie who’s going to carry the child. Sophie who will have her health and her work impacted. Sophie who will live with whatever decision she makes about this baby for the rest of her life. Not you.”

“I wish she would just tell me. I wish she would just let me help!” Jake’s voice had risen, his fists had clenched. Frustration and helplessness were a ripe scent filling the cab of the SUV as he sweated with stress in the humid Hilo afternoon.

“It’s hard to respect another person’s privacy and right to choose,” Patty said softly. “But if you love her, you will find a way to do that. Otherwise, from the things you’ve told me, this could be the way you lose her.”

Jake breathed noisily, trying to get a grip on his emotions. “I’m a bull in a china shop with this stuff, Patty.”

“That’s why you have me, bro. There’s hope for you, yet, because you’re smart enough to call me and try to get this right.”

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