I want to be Luke.
Your Luke.
Maxwell Sheridan had said more than he should have last night. Last night, he had confessed his attraction to her, but he wasn’t sure if Josie had heard him. She hadn’t replied, and the room was too dark for him to see.
He had no reaction from her, and Max presumed she’d fallen asleep.
That his want for her to be his Lorelai fell on deaf ears.
And as Max took in the woman sleeping next to him, he realised how correct and true his attraction towards Josie was.
He would be her Luke.
And she, his Lorelai.
He had no idea if Luke and Lorelai ended up together at the end of Gilmore Girls, but they made sense and had a connection that was friendship, mutual respect, and more.
Just like he and Josie.
It wasn’t hard to come to terms with the fact that he liked Josie.
He liked her honestly.
Completely true without a hint of hesitation.
Josie’s brows furrowed, and a small groan escaped her lips. “What time is it?” she asked, voice still heavy with sleep.
Max smiled as he watched her eyelids flutter until her bright blue eyes greeted him. That right there. That moment her eyes found his was a moment worth keeping and replaying every day of his life. Josie waking up to him was one of those moments he knew would never leave him.
He had no idea how it happened.
How she could captivate him.
How she was able to soothe every wound others before her had inflicted on him.
Her lips broke into a beautiful smile. “Morning.”
Not caring that their friendship and his heart was on the line, he reached up and brushed her brunette hair from her face. Josie wasn’t as pale as she had been when he first appeared at her apartment with soup. Her colour had returned. But he did feel the warmth of her skin.
“Morning,” he greeted as his fingers traced the side of her face, and her eyes softened.
She was claiming him without even knowing it.
And he realised—there lying in her bed with her—that he adored her.
Maxwell Sheridan adored Josephine Faulkner with a fondness he had never felt for any other woman he’d met, loved, or desired.
“Can I ask you something?”
She nodded.
“Last night …”
Her eyes widened. “Y-yes?”
“You sang something to me,” he revealed. It was when Max had come to change the cloth helping with her high fever. She had hummed a sweet melody that was familiar to him. He’d heard some words, but then she hummed the rest.
It was beautiful.
He had smiled and taken in every hum and note sung.
“I did?” she breathed as she sat up. Her cheeks reddened in a shade he loved seeing.
Max followed and sat up, too. “I think it was French?”
A sad gleamed consumed her bright blues. “Oh.” The muscles in her neck tightened as she swallowed. “I remember now. I did.”
“What song was it?”
Josie brushed her wavy hair behind her ears as she got off her bed. She made her way to a dresser and pulled open a drawer. She returned moments later and sat on the bed with something in her hand. Max glanced down to find a music box in her palms.
She opened the lid, and a ballerina emerged and began to spin. Then the music followed. Gentle and sweet and so familiar. He had heard it once before. It was enchanting as he watched the ballerina in a pink tutu continue to dance with the music. When the music stopped, so did the ballerina, and Josie closed the square box and set it on the bed.
“What song is that?”
A small, sad smile deepened on her lips. Her chin dipped, and her gaze fell on the box as she reached up and brush at her cheeks.
She was crying.
Max cupped her jaw and lifted her face so he could see her. The fragility and sadness in her eyes were heartbreaking. She was crying, and she had tried to hide it from him.
“La Vie En Rose,” she answered in a small voice. “That’s the song.”
“It’s beautiful,” he admitted as his thumb brushed away the tears that escaped her.
“It’s—” His phone beeping caused her to stop. “You should get that,” she urged with a pleading smile.
Max dropped his hands from her face and nodded. He scrambled off her bed and bent down to pick up his phone that had rested on his white business shirt. When he unlocked it, the worst kind of message for a Saturday greeted him.
Dad: Max, need you at the firm as soon as you can make it. It’s very important.
He groaned and swiped his shirt from the floor. His suit jacket was folded over the leather couch in Josie’s lounge room. He glanced over his shoulder to find Josie with a hairbrush in her hand, staring at him.
“Gotta go?” She didn’t seem upset. It was refreshing to see the understanding gleam in her eyes. Sarah never got it. Never got why his career and his father’s firm took him away from her. But Josie did. She wanted a career in the very same profession.
Max stood, spun around, and threaded his arms into the sleeves. He didn’t miss her eyes dropping to his naked chest as he buttoned his shirt. He bit back a smile, afraid of embarrassing her if he noticed her staring. In fact, he loved that she could possibly find him attractive.
“I do,” he confirmed as he shoved his phone into his pocket and picked up his belt. Max then passed the leather belt through the loops of his pants and fastened it. “It’s my dad. I’ve gotta head down to the office. I’m sorry.”
She smiled. “Don’t apologise. I understand.” She set her hairbrush on her bed. “I’ll walk you out.”
He shook his head, receiving a raised brow from her. “Stay in bed.”
“Why?”
“You’ve still got a mild fever. You’re sick, Josie. Back to bed.”
“But …”
“Seriously, get some sleep. I’ll message you later to check on you.”
She folded her arms over her chest, trying to evoke a stronger stance. The beads of sweat dotted her forehead once more. “I’m fine.”
“You’re not.” He rounded the bed and set his hands on her shoulders then ushered her back into bed. When he flipped the blanket over her, her hairbrush fell to his side of the bed, and her glare accompanied the tight line her mouth made. “You’ll thank me later.”
“I will do no such thing.”
He laughed at her defiance as he reached over and picked up her music box. He carefully set it on her bedside table then bent down and pressed his forehead to her warm forehead. “Then sleep for me.”
The way her eyes softened stole the beat his heart had made and the air his lungs had just inhaled. She was beautiful. Succumbed to sickness and all, she was beautiful. And he hated knowing she was there all this time and he had missed her.
Missed her in his sickening love for Sarah.
Missed her in his fruitless chasing of Andrea.
She was there, and it took him a long time to appreciate what she was capable of. The influence she had in his life.
The coercion to make him a better man.
“No wonder you’re a lawyer,” she said with a huff and rolled onto her side.
“And why am I a lawyer?” he asked with a layer of humour in his voice.
Josie closed her eyes. “You just don’t play fair,” she mumbled. “You and your words don’t play fair.”
I affect her.
The thought had him smiling as he stood. “Sleep well, Josie.”
She made a humming noise.
Max made his way towards her bedroom door and stopped when he heard her say, “Max …”
He glanced over his shoulder to find her propped on her elbows. The fear in her eyes almost had him running to her, but he told his legs not to move. To wait for her to speak.
“Yes?”
“I think you need to watch the entire series …” She took a deep breath. “Without me.”
“Why?”
“To see if Luke gets Lorelai,” she explained as she laid back down.
He wanted to say more.
Beg her just to tell him the ending.
All he wanted to know was if he got the girl.
If Max could have Josephine.
But it was a lot more complicated than just a TV show dictating their ending. Max still had a past. Still had sins he hadn’t been forgiven for. He wasn’t the man Josie deserved just yet, but he was working towards it.
Deciding to let her sleep rather than ask her more questions, Max spun around and opened her bedroom door. He stepped out and closed the door behind him. He was tempted to leave another note on her bedroom door but decided against it. He’d already written her one after Stella had suggested he take part in their tradition. Last night, Max had learnt where they had gotten the inspiration for their sticky note communication system.
Gilmore Girls.
When he made it down the short hallway—which was only really a wall that separated the rest of the apartment from Josie’s room—he spotted his suit jacket hanging over the leather couch. Then he noticed Josie’s best friend and roommate, Stella, sitting on the other couch with a cup in her hand. He walked to the couch and picked up his jacket.
“Morning,” she greeted with a smirk on her face.
She knew something.
What? He didn’t know.
But she knew something.
“Morning, Stella.”
Her eyes had run down his body before that smirk faded and she raised her brow at him. “Your belt isn’t done properly, and your shirt isn’t tucked in.”
He glanced down to find she was right.
“Do we need to have a talk, Max?” He heard both the teasing and warning tone in her voice.
Max would fix his belt once he got to his car. He had to go home, shower, and change before he headed to work. He shook his head at Josie’s best friend.
“You were the perfect gentleman and didn’t touch her?”
“I didn’t touch her,” he promised.
Stella let out an exhale, leant forward, and set her cup down on the coffee table. “Is Josie still asleep?”
“She’s getting there. I told her to go back to sleep.”
“Good.” Then Stella’s facial features hardened. “So …”
“So?”
“How do you like Gilmore Girls? Think your answer over carefully because it might get you on the no-visiting-this-apartment-again list.”
He chuckled. “It’s not a bad show.”
“Thoughts about Dean so far.”
“Not for Rory,” he admitted—not to be in Stella’s good graces, but because he honestly didn’t like Dean.
“I like you,” she declared. “You’re allowed over with my blessing.”
“Thanks, Stella. I’ve gotta get ready for work. I’ll see you later.”
Her grin returned. “Counting on it. If I miss you meeting Jess, can you tell me your thoughts the next time I see you? Or you can leave a sticky note on my door. I need to know your thoughts before you meet Logan.”
Max laughed. “I promise I will.” Then he waved goodbye and began to make his way towards the front door. He halted his steps, remembering what Josie had told him in her bedroom. Max let out a sigh and quickly spun around. “Stella?”
She tilted her head in his direction. “Yeah?”
He knew he would sound insecure if he asked, but he had to. It didn’t matter that he suddenly began to feel hot and uncomfortable all over under her sceptical glare. “Does Luke end up with Lorelai?”
Stella’s eyes widened as her lips slowly parted. She mulled his question over for a long while, and then her lips tugged into a small smile. “Do you want to ruin the journey of experiencing something like that by me telling you how it ends?”
The experience.
The journey.
He wanted that with Josie.
He needed to feel it and to witness it.
He didn’t want a spoiler.
Max shook his head. “No, you’re right. I don’t want to ruin it.”
Stella’s smile deepened. “You deserve to experience every amazing thing about it.”
“Thanks, Stella.”
Just as he was about to turn, she said, “I just want Lorelai to be happy.”
The way she said Lorelai, he knew she really meant Josie.
“I do too,” he agreed.
I want Josie to be happy.
“What do you think, Maxwell?” his father asked from across the boardroom table.
Max sighed as he glanced down at the file once more.
It was a new case his father was considering taking on.
But his father never rushed his decision to represent a client. He was careful in his consideration. Not that he ever represented the easy cases he’d win in court. His father loved a challenge.
And this murder case was a challenge.
It was a contract for hire case.
His potential client had claimed he was innocent the moment he was arrested and the media caught wind of the murder.
“It’s going to be hard to convince a jury,” Max pointed out. “The IP address doesn’t lie. He was there, Dad. It puts him there as reading and sending those emails.”
His father nodded. Then he picked up the case file and sighed. “I believe he’s innocent. He could be my first loss in court, and it would severely hurt.”
“Your ratio,” Max deadpanned.
“No, it will hurt me morally because I know he’s innocent. Some of the other clients I’ve represented have always had a speck of guilt on them. But with circumstantial evidence, I’ve been able to have the jury disregard it in order for us to win. But this one, I just know we’re missing something.”
Max was stunned.
His father always cared about his win-loss ratio. He was famous in the legal world because of it.
It was a supposed murder-for-hire case.
His wife had been shot in their house, and emails were found with their potential client agreeing to the terms and conditions of his wife’s murder. It seemed too planted for Max.
He wasn’t a criminal lawyer.
But he knew contracts.
And the one in the email was a standard exchange that seemed too simple and clear, begging to be spotted.
He pursed his lips as he picked up one of the printouts of an email from the client’s deceased wife. It was an email she sent telling a friend that she had a great time at the party. But something in the middle of the email caught his eye.
Max reached for a highlighter and read what he spotted out loud.
“Exchange for a service. The shoes have to go.”
It seemed strange for it to be in the middle of an email saying how much the wife had enjoyed the champagne.
“Dad, can you have all the emails the police seized brought to my office?”
His father’s brown eyes darkened. “Did you find something?”
“Maybe,” he said, not wanting to get his father’s hopes up. “We need to obtain the wife’s laptop and her emails if they haven’t been submitted into evidence already. I think another contract is in her emails. I just have to filter through them to find it. It might clear him.”
The proudness consumed his father’s face. “So we should represent him?”
Max nodded. “I’ll investigate these emails and let you know what I discover. I have a few contracts I can set aside this weekend. This is high priority.”
“I’ll have one of the interns bring them to your office and go through them with you,” his father said.
“Thanks. I’ll get on it,” Max said as he collected the files his father had given him and headed out of the boardroom. He went down the hall to the last office on his right, pushed the glass door open, and made his way to his desk. He dumped the folders down on the desk once he had reached it. He knew he’d spend all weekend helping his father.
Gordon Sheridan wasn’t one to ask for help from his son.
Max rounded his desk and pulled out his leather office chair. Once he sat down, he pulled his phone from his pants pocket and set it on his desk. Then he rolled up the sleeves of his white business shirt until they hit his elbows. Max opened his laptop and noticed an unread email.
He felt his heart hammer wildly in his chest when he noted the sender.
He was torn.
It was the first time she had emailed him back in over eight months.
The ones he had sent after she broke up with Noel went unanswered.
Never acknowledged.
He was supposed to be over her.
But seeing her name, it hurt him to remember what that kiss of hers had done to him. What he was prepared to give up for her.
Andrea.
From: [email protected]
Subject: G&MC welcome package.
Dear Mr. Sheridan,
As advised by Mr. Gregson at the recommendation from Mr. Parker, please find the G&MC welcome package. Inside, you will find information about our accounting company and history—as well as an overview of what you will be assisting with during your time with us. I have also been advised to attach the expense packet. It has your daily expenses budget, hotels of your choosing, and a list of the company approved airlines you may wish to use to fly to Boston, Massachusetts, from Melbourne, Victoria.
We do hope this information helps with your decision in assisting our legal department. If you have any questions, please reply to this email or email me directly at: [email protected]
Kind regards,
Xena Davenport
Executive assistant to Andrea Wallace.
Senior supervisor.
Legal Department.
G&MC accounting firm.
Max’s heart dipped.
It wasn’t Andrea.
It was her assistant using her email address.
If G&MC were playing games to get his interest, they had done right by using Andrea’s email account.
The hope that radiated from seeing an email from her sickened him.
She played and toyed with his emotions.
She had left him a wreck.
Max got out of his inbox and opened his sent folder.
He scrolled down until he found one of the emails he’d sent Andrea.
Taking a deep breath to ease his anxious heart, he clicked on the email and opened it.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Us.
Andrea,
These games you play, they’re killing me.
I just need you to be honest with me.
You can’t tell me you’re confused when we both know how right that kiss was. Yeah, I feel like a shit friend for doing that to Noel. But you even said it didn’t feel like Noel loved you anymore.
That you felt DISCONNECTED from him.
WE connected.
We have to discuss this.
You broke up with him and messaged ME minutes later.
Make a choice.
I can fly to see you when you’ve made it.
But don’t forget to tell me when you do.
I can wait, Andrea.
But I don’t think I could wait forever if you keep throwing this ‘it feels right with you, Max, but I love him’ talk in my face.
Max.
He scrolled to find another he had sent her.
From: [email protected]
Subject: He’s engaged.
Andrea,
He proposed to her.
They came back, and she had his ring on her finger.
I’m not telling you this to hurt you.
I’m telling you because you may love Noel, but he loves HER.
And I know it’s going to be hard for you when they return.
But I just want to say that I hope you meant it when you said that you respected Noel’s decision to be with her.
Please don’t hurt them.
They belong together.
Although I care about you, he’s my best friend.
I love Noel like a brother.
And I’ve already hurt him and Clara enough.
Please understand them.
Max.
Then he clicked on another.
From: [email protected]
Subject: They have a house together.
Andrea,
My emails are probably sitting unread in your inbox, but I don’t care.
Open one.
Any one of them.
Just reply and tell me you forgive me for confusing you.
I kissed YOU.
I’m NOT sorry.
But you’re making me feel horrible things every time I look at him.
I look at him and want to confess and rip his happiness away from him and make him feel the pain you felt when he told you it was Clara.
How fucked up is that?
I want to hurt MY best friend FOR YOU.
To make YOU feel better.
I want to kill him for making YOU weep.
For making YOU feel so little.
That YOUR love was never enough to him.
I don’t want him to be happy if it means YOU’RE unhappy.
This isn’t fair, Andrea.
YOUR silence isn’t fair.
Not when I confess my heart TO YOU and betray him.
I PICK YOU, GODDAMMIT.
YOU.
YOU. YOU. YOU.
I FUCKING PICK YOU!
Max.
Pain.
It entered his chest, found his lungs, and burned them alive.
It was hard to read his desperation.
It was also hard to see how much he wanted her.
But you don’t adore her.
Max flinched.
He didn’t adore her.
That was true.
He adored Josie.
But adoration wasn’t love.
Or it was, and he wasn’t willing to accept it.
Shaking his head, he opened another.
From: [email protected]
Subject: He’s married.
Her name is now Clara Louise Lawrence Parker.
Nolan James Parker’s wife.
And he loves her, Andrea.
He.
Chose.
Her.
Please don’t forget that.
You let him choose her.
And I chose you instead of him.
I’ll stop waiting for something that will never happen.
Goodbye, Andrea Wallace.
Unlike all his other emails, he hadn’t signed off with his name.
At the time, he couldn’t.
It had been just after Noel and Clara had been announced man and wife. He had slipped away long enough to send her one last email.
And like before, she had not replied.
She had only ever replied a few times to some of them.
Later that day, he had a moment on a bridge with a woman he adored through sickness and every assignment she had.
Max got out of his sent folder and returned to his inbox to find a surprising email.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Thank you.
Max,
Thank you for the soup.
And for taking care of me.
And for watching Gilmore Girls with not just me, but also with my roommate.
I have more to be thankful for, but now I’m a little dizzy, and I’m trusting Siri to make sure this email doesn’t embarrass me.
Thank you for tutoring me and caring about my education space space enter crap oh my God this is so stupid enter no enter new ford it Max just not that I’m really thankful for you Jesse
Max laughed at the mess Josie had sent him.
The bliss that consumed his chest was what he wanted to feel when he read emails.
Not the anger and resentment he felt just now as he had read the emails he had sent to Andrea.
Reaching over, he picked up his phone, unlocked it, and brought up his messages.
He couldn’t hide or even stop the smile on his face when he saw her name at the top of the screen.
Max knew this was right.
No matter how much his heart felt as if things with Andrea Wallace were unfinished.
Closure.
She never blessed him with it.
And this was him moving on without it.
Max: Jesse, please tell Josie that I will never use that email against her if she promises to never use Siri to email for her again. Also, I’m gonna have to discuss the importance of proofreading emails with her. It’s a skill she’ll need when she’s a lawyer.
After a few minutes of him staring at the ellipses on his screen, she actually sent a message.
Josie: She makes no promises about using Siri to write her emails to you ever again.
And that bliss overshadowed his guilt and reminded him that he was much happier being Josie’s friend than Andrea’s doormat.
Over a week later and feeling much better, Josie sat by her mother’s side. Her mother should have been released from the hospital two days ago, but Dr Frederickson decided to keep her. The first round of chemo had been a success, but it made her mother incredibly ill. She had vomited to the point of dehydration. Every time Josie thought she might feel better, she actually looked worse. And just when she thought her mother could actually battle her cancer strongly, her slow heart rate told her another story.
Josie knew her mother was lying about how she really felt.
And Josie was lying about how accepting she was of her mother’s health.
She was still furious with God and the universe for smiting her mother once more. And when she thought that way, she felt guilt blacken her heart. No one deserved cancer. And no one deserved it a second time.
“Josephine,” her mother said in a weak voice.
She glanced up from her laptop to find her mother tilting her head to face her. The half-smile her mother made only made Josie miss her full ones more. The warm ones she’d wear when Josie spoke about her future outside university and in a law firm.
“What are you working on?”
“It’s my contracts assignment. I’m writing a two-thousand-word memo of advice.”
That half-smile of hers stretched a fraction wider. Not completely full, but Josie saw it reach her mother’s eyes. “What is a memo of advice?”
“It’s like a letter intended for someone in-house in a law firm or a client. It’s supposed to address the issue one has with a contract. Right now, the issue I had to address was if the loophole in my case study could potentially cost my client millions. And the short answer is yes. I have to give him suggestions on how we can strengthen the client’s position and be persuasive in my arguments. You know—that I’m right and he’s wrong.”
Her mother pressed her hands on to the mattress and sat herself up properly. “And how are your persuasive skills?”
“Improving,” Josie said with a smile.
It was true.
Since Max had started tutoring her—well, through emails since he was busy actually practising law—she was able to juggle her workload and actually understand the content being taught. Max made it easier for her to understand what her professors neglected to properly teach. Her favourite tutor, Jason Silverman, complimented her on getting her act together. He asked if she’d heard back from any of the make-believe placement interviews she had, and Josie had told him no, rushing out of the tutorial to catch the tram from campus to the city. Then she ran to the hospital to be by her mother’s side.
“That’s good,” her mother said as she stared at the lilacs West had dropped off on his way to work this morning. “How is everything else going?”
It was the first time her mother had been well enough to actually hold a conversation without succumbing to her exhaustion.
“Good. Ally’s taken over at the bakery and is doing really well, so the pressure’s off Nadia’s shoulders. Ally approved Nadia’s request for a few more employees,” Josie commented.
“And how are Stella and West?”
Josie closed her laptop and set it on the table next to her. “Still love each other.”
Her mother nodded. “And how is your father? You never told me how dinner was between the both of you.”
She had hoped to avoid this because she knew she was about to disappoint her mother. She never meant to, but this time it wasn’t her fault. Her father was the one who stood her up. Josie thought back to that night. She had sat at that restaurant for ages until she found out her father hadn’t even left Canberra for Melbourne. She was about to leave when Maxwell Sheridan appeared and took her father’s place.
Max.
Max who messaged her every day and answered her stupid questions. She knew she got in the way of his actual clients, but he never complained. Not once.
It was crazy how much she missed actually seeing him.
It had been almost a week and a half since he left her apartment.
He’d taken care of her when she was sick.
Sat up and watched Gilmore Girls with her and her best friend.
Maxwell Sheridan became her better thing in life.
Through the storm, he was the light.
He had no idea how much she cared for him.
She knew it was insane.
But there was no point in denying the truth.
I like him honestly.
It was hard to decide if telling him would become an issue for their friendship.
He had said he wanted to be her Luke.
For a moment, her heart had swelled.
But no one knew if Luke and Lorelai ended up together and happy.
The show was cancelled, and the truth was never revealed.
Maybe they could have what she thought Lorelai and Luke deserved outside the series being cancelled—a happily ever after.
Josie knew that right now, it wasn’t a priority. Her mother’s heath, university, and being Max’s friend meant more.
“Josephine, did something happen with your father?” her mother asked.
She blinked several times and realised she hadn’t answered her mother. Taking a deep breath, she knew she couldn’t lie to her. She always knew when Josie lied about her absent father. “He never showed up for dinner, so I left.”
Her mother winced. “He didn’t?”
Anger flashed in her blue eyes, and Josie shot out of her chair. She captured her mother’s cold left hand in hers and squeezed gently. “It’s okay, Mamma.”
Tears glazed over Emily Faulkner’s eyes, wounding Josie more harshly than her father ever could. “It’s not, Josephine.”
“I’m used to it.”
Her mother let out a struggled exhale. “But you shouldn’t. I know I haven’t been the best moth—”
“Stop that right now!” Josie demanded and pulled her hands free from her mother’s. “Don’t you say that.”
“But—”
“No!” Anger suddenly consumed her as tears began to form. She didn’t care that she had raised her voice at her mother or that the patients her mother shared a room with would hear. “Don’t you dare finish that sentence.”
“Josephine, it’s true.”
“It’s not,” she dismissed as those tears fell. She tried to hold back the next few, but they escaped. “You’re the greatest mother in the world.”
“I shouldn’t have pushed you to have a relationship with your father when it only made you resent him more.”
Josie shook her head as she reached up and brushed away her mother’s tears. “He did that on his own with his lies and his incessant need to disappoint. He’s actually quite good at it.”
“But as your mother, I should have …” She paused, and Josie noticed that she had balled her hands into tight fists. “I should have protected you from such disappointment.”
“It’s okay, Mamma.”
“No. You shouldn’t be this angry.”
“It’s not your fault.”
Her mother wrapped her fingers around her wrist. “Josephine, I love your father. And I admit that I let my love for him hurt you when he left us. I gave him the benefit of the doubt. But you have to make amends with him.”
Josie shook her head. “I can’t,” she cried. “I trust him for a second, and he’ll… he’ll let me down. And I don’t want to feel stupid by giving him the satisfaction that I believed in him.”
She tried to pull her arm free, but her mother tightened her grip. “You have to, Josephine.”
“I don’t want to! There’s no point.”
“There is!”
“THERE’S NOT!” she screamed and pulled her arm free. Josie saw her mother flinch in shock at her outburst. “He lives in Berlin! Or have you forgotten that? He has two other daughters!”
Her mother’s tears broke her heart. “You’re his daughter, too.”
“I’m not,” she said, shaking her head. “Do you want to know what hurts the most about having a diplomat as a father?”
“No.”
The heat that consumed her chest rose to burn her throat. “I have to see photos of him online. I have to see videos of him at his daughters’ recitals. You couldn’t have protected me from that. He watches them dance. Do you know how many times I invited him to see me dance? Do you have any idea how much it hurts to know that they have a dad? My dad. He was my dad first!”
Her mother’s lip trembled as she reached out and grasped Josie’s shaking hands. “They’re your sisters, too.” She tugged at Josie’s hands, and she sat on the bed, allowing her mother to console her. “You always wanted to be a big sister.”
Josie cried into her mother’s chest. “He never invited me to Germany to meet them. I’d never be their big sister. They probably don’t even know I exist.”
“I’m sure that’s not true,” her mother whispered as she rubbed circles on Josie’s back.
“I’m too scared to find out.”
“Oh, my sweet Josephine,” Emily whispered. “They’re your family.”
Josie shook her head. “No. You’re my family. You’re the only family I have ever needed,” she sobbed as she wrapped her arms around her frail mother. “I love you so much.”
She felt her mother’s chest heave as she cried and inhaled. “I will always love you, Josephine, but I won’t be around forever.”
“Don’t say that!” she begged. “Please don’t say that.”
“It’s true. And if that time comes sooner than expected, you have to try to be a part of their lives.”
“No,” she breathed.
“Please, Josephine. Promise that you will try someday. At least meet them. And if your father ever changes, give him a chance. He might not show it, but he loves you so much.”
“You’re all I need, Mamma.”
Her mother let out a low laugh that sounded as if it took so much energy to make. “No, Josephine, you need a lot more love in your life than just mine. You deserve more.”
She wanted to argue further with her mother, but Josie was tired of crying. She couldn’t imagine how much this confrontation took its toll on her mother’s cancer-stricken body.
So for now, Josie let it go.
To give her mother peace.
But she knew no promises could be made if she never intended to fulfil them.
Max: I have officially not seen you in fifteen days.
Josie: You talk to me every day.
Max: It’s actually not the same thing.
Josie: I’m in class right now.
Max: Which class is this? Legal practice and ethics or evidence.
Josie: Evidence.
Max: Did you get your contracts assignment handed in?
Josie: I did. Thank you for pointing out that my choice of wording in my argument needed to be a lot stronger. It definitely lacked a stronger stance. How is that case you were working on going?
Max: You need to be a bit more forceful in the tone you use in your memo of advices. You have another one coming up for evidence, right? Send me your draft, and I can look at it. And no, I won’t give you the correct answer. I’ll guide you through it.
“All right, everyone, don’t forget to read the Uniform Evidence Act. Your assignment is based on it,” Ruth, her evidence tutor, said. Just as Josie stood, Ruth walked over to her and handed her a piece of paper. “It’s my letter of support.”
She looked down at the paper and skimmed the page. “I didn’t ask for a recommendation,” Josie stated in shock as she looked up at her tutor.
Ruth smiled. “You’re the only student who hasn’t asked.”
“I was?”
“You were. I don’t know what’s happened to you in the last three weeks, but the old Josie’s back. The one who I put my money on as the next big lawyer in Melbourne. Have you applied for placements?”
Josie nodded. “I have a few interviews.”
“Let me know how they go. I talked to Jason, and he’s impressed with your progress. My door is always open if you need any help with your interviews or if you have any questions,” her tutor said.
“I’ll be sure to stop by if I do.”
Highly unlikely since I haven’t applied to any law firms.
Tucking the letter into her bag, she picked up her notebook and shoved it inside. She gave her tutor a smile of appreciation as she made her way out of the classroom. Once she was out in the hallway, her phone vibrated.
Max: Realised I didn’t update you on the case. The firm’s representing him. I found the murder for hire contract in some carefully crafted emails. It took about eighty emails to find them. Some were harder than others. Some had only a few words or letters capitalised. We have some forensic accountants and cyber experts tracking down the money. This case is insane. It looks like she framed her husband. Not sure why people put so much effort into murder when divorce is quick these days.
Josie laughed as she made her way out of the law building. She finished her classes for the day and was excited to go home for a nap. She had visited her mother’s hospital room early this morning before her evidence lecture. Her mother was moved into a different ward, but after a fall out of her hospital bed, she had a hairline fracture in her arm and would be staying in the hospital for a while longer. It was hard for Josie to keep her cool. She knew her mother was better off in the hospital than on her own, but it wasn’t easy for Josie to watch her once brave and strong mother become a brittle version of the woman she had once admired.
Fuck cancer!
It was all Josie could do.
To curse cancer.
And to text Max back.
Josie: I have an essay for evidence. It’s due next week. Everything seems to be due the week after each other. You found the terms of the contract in her emails? I can see why you work at one of the best law firms in the country.
Max: Nepotism has me working for the best law firm in the country, Josephine. I happen to be the founder’s offspring.
Josie: Nepotism has its advantages.
Max: Not always. I had to prove I was a capable lawyer.
Josie: Speaking of being a capable lawyer, you shouldn’t be texting me on the job.
Max: They won’t fire me. I’d love to see them try. Is your class over?
Josie glanced up from her phone to find herself standing in the quad. She searched her surroundings and found a free bench. Approaching it, she sat down and continued her conversation with Max.
She missed him.
Their text messages and emails weren’t enough.
Since the morning she had woken up to him in her bed, she knew she was attached. And not seeing him in person or seeing that smile of his was torture.
Josie: Day at uni is over. I just have to read through some cases, and I’ll be caught up with this week’s readings. I worked on my evidence paper last night. I’ll send it to you once I get home.
Max: Are you working tonight?
Josie: Taylor needed a few extra shifts, so I gave her mine since I have exams coming up.
Max: So what you’re saying is that you’re free tonight?
She inhaled sharply at his text message.
Would she see him tonight?
It would be a ‘friends’ kind of activity.
Nothing her heart should get its hopes up for.
Josie: I am.
She bit her lip as she waited for Max’s reply. The bright sun warmed her skin as she sat on the steel bench and waited.
Max: Good.
Josie: Good?
The beats in her chest galloped in anticipation.
Max: Because it’s been fifteen days since I last saw you, Josephine. And to be honest and real with you, I miss you like crazy. Our texts and emails haven’t been enough, and I should have told you that.
Her heart had all but stopped.
Max: It’s been fifteen days too long, Josephine. Can I see you tonight?
And that message kick started that organ in her chest.
Smiling, she wrote her reply.
Josie: I want to see you tonight, Max.
Max: Because you need help with your evidence paper?
Josie: No.
She took a deep breath and decided to like him honestly.
Josie: Because I’ve missed you, too.