“Go home.”

From anyone else, I would have been sure the growl was an insult, but from Rusty it was affection. He was a hardass. For those of us who loved him, though, we knew what his levels of pissiness meant—and this agitated, exasperated growl was saying: Don’t make me admit I care. Just get out of here and sort your life out so we can all move on.

“I’m fine.”

“And I’m a fucking unicorn. You’ve been staring at that fucking corner for an hour like he’s just gonna appear there. Go. Home.”

I rolled my eyes at him, mainly because he wasn’t wrong. I had been staring at that corner since I’d come out of the office with Janette, but my attention had nothing to do with Drew. As much as he was on my mind, he wasn’t why my attention was so fixed on that one spot in the diner. No. I was still getting the heebies, and it was coming from that direction. The discomfort felt like someone was watching me, not unlike Drew did, but this was with much more malice. I could feel the intent behind the stare, and it had been making me uncomfortable as I attempted to work. The vile feeling was also drawing my gaze every time I stopped for so much as a second.

“I’m—”

“If you say fine again, kid, I’m going to chase you with a serving spoon.”

“Stop flirting with her, Rusty.” Sam giggled from beside me, earning herself a scowl and a wave of the soup ladle.

“Go. Home.”

“Fine.” I finally relented and capped the huge salt dispenser I’d been holding onto for the last twenty minutes.

I gazed at Sam, who only nodded that she was okay with my taking off, and headed back to my locker. It probably should have worried me that my first instinct was to reach into the bag and make sure the gun was still there. The sensation of being watched hadn’t followed me into the back, but that didn’t mean the impression wasn’t resonating like a ghost under my skin and keeping the hairs on my arms at attention. Then again, maybe I was just losing my mind.

I pulled my jeans on under my uniform dress, attaching the concealed holster to my belt and tucking the soft leather inside against my hip. Pulling my Bersa Thunder .380 from my bag, I slid the gun into the holster before pulling off my uniform and replacing it with a gray T-shirt and my leather jacket. As ridiculous as it sounded, the act of arming myself made me feel safe. Feeling the gun bite into my flesh felt reassuring, especially when I was going to walk home. I figured the exercise would do me good.

I stuffed everything else I needed into the backpack I kept in the locker and slung it over my back. I pulled my hair free from its tail and slipped my feet into the combat boots Tate had bought me for Christmas. The ritual was as good as it was going to get, and I couldn’t put off leaving work any longer now I was standing there staring at my reflection with an overly critical eye. I knew I was being ridiculous. I’d never in my life put something off that could be achieved today, even when I was the one in the wrong, so why was I so hesitant to leave now? Was it facing Drew I was trying to avoid? Or was it facing that creepy feeling of being watched, alone?

There was only one way to find out...

“See you guys next week,” I called out as I pushed through the swinging doors and headed to the front of the diner. I smiled at some of the regulars as I went, acting as casually as I could, even when I was freaking out enough to want to grip my stomach and calm the squeezing of uncertainty there.

“Text me when you get home, kid,” Rusty huffed, and the only response I gave him was a wave over my shoulder.

The warm sun beat down on me the moment I passed through the doors, and with my eyes closed, I turned my face to it, basking in the heat for just for a moment so I could collect myself. I could hear insects chirping in the long grass bordering the diner, like they did most warm days. I could hear the traffic steadily streaming by on the freeway and the shout of children from somewhere in the huddle of the houses just beyond the feeder road. My surroundings were all so normal it should have put me at ease, but it didn’t. The feeling of being studied like something in a petri dish came back and made my skin crawl.

The smart thing to do would be calling Drew and letting him know what was going on. It didn’t matter if we’d just screamed at one another in the depth of a battle of wills. I knew if I called him he’d be here with no questions asked. If he was extra pissed at me, he might send one of the Hounds, but he would still be there for me. Unfortunately, calling him about a feeling of being watched felt a little like emotional blackmail. I could almost see how the conversation would go: Hey, it feels like I’m being watched. It’s been creeping me out since you left.

I’ll be right there.

He’d arrive, stand there next to me and not feel a damn thing. Then he’d look at me like I’d tied his junk in a knot and just glower in my general direction because I’d called him out there for nothing other than to make up—in his mind. Even though that wasn’t my intention at all.

So I started walking.

If the feeling got worse, or if I felt as though I was in danger in any way, I would call the emergency line and get a message to him quickly. I’d learned my lesson. No more lies, but that didn’t mean I was going to call him out on a gut feeling. I had a gun at my hip, two working feet and a couple of miles to eat up and formulate a real apology for my misgivings.

I didn’t rush, even with that weird feeling haunting my every step. I took my time. My boots scuffed the small dirt clots that lined the side of the county road as I made my way closer to The Hut. I was nearly halfway there when I heard the rumble of a Hemi screaming up the two-lane highway. I wandered deeper into the knee-length grass and ran my hands over the tops of the blades, rolling my eyes as the engine downshifted and the vehicle slowed.

“Ayda Hanagan?”

I turned at the sound of my name and the strange familiarity of the voice. There, with his free arm hanging from the window of an aged blue Chevy Dually, was my ex-boyfriend Jacob fucking Hove.

“Hey, it is you,” he shouted, slowing to a complete stop so he could turn fully and let both arms hang out as he grinned at me. “Damn, you’re looking good.”

I stared at him. It felt like I’d known Jacob in another life. I couldn’t reconcile this man with the boy I’d once known, and I sure as shit couldn’t place him in the world I was living in now. I remembered him as the sweet-faced boy who’d broken my heart with an unfriendly email—and a slew of rumors—when my drama had become too much for him. He hadn’t so much as called me since my parents had died. The pang of disgust in my chest made me shove my hands into my jacket pockets and narrow my eyes at him. All the hate that had been stored came rushing to the surface as the memories crowded me, and my walls of defense rose.

“You always did wear your emotions on your sleeve,” he said, shaking his head as if I’d just given him a big smile and stuck my ass out like a dog in heat. He always had a way of ignoring what you were really trying to say and jumping straight into charming his way into your favor. The only problem being, I wasn’t that young girl with a head full of dreams anymore. I didn’t want to be, and I certainly didn’t want him in my life.

I didn’t respond to his goading. I just stared back at him for a moment longer before exaggerating a turn and continuing to walk.

“Ouch. You grew some sharp edges, A. I remember you being much more pliable.” He bit his bottom lip suggestively when I glanced back at him briefly. The gesture made my stomach roll with nausea.

“Fuck you.” I continued walking at the same pace as before he’d interrupted me, and I heard the growl of his truck when he closed the distance again.

“You’ve been in Babylon too long. You’re starting to sound like all the lifers.”

“What do you want, Jake?” I snapped, rotating on the heels of my boots and pulling my hands from my pockets. There was a time in my life I would have lapped up his attention like a starving dog. When I longed to hear his truck pull up outside my house and take me away for the night so I could lose myself in him. There was a time I’d believed I loved Jacob, but it turned out I’d had no idea what love was.

“Just saying hello.”

“Hello.”

“You need a ride somewhere?” he asked, yet again flashing that smile of his.

I shook my head and glanced down the road in the direction of The Hut. I was happy to walk because walking bought me some more time before I had to talk to Drew about the gun, the lies, and explain the weird feeling that had followed me home.

“Nope. I’m good walking.”

“Now there’s something we can agree on.” He whistled like I was a nice round of meat to throw on the pit. I’d always thought of him as sweet and charming, and always quick with compliments. Now, I realized I felt nothing but annoyed as the spark of rage petered out and died, abandoning me. Jacob had actually done me a favor when he hadn’t called after I’d dropped out of college and moved back to Babylon.

“Were you always this much of an ass?”

“I think so. I don’t recollect much of high school, though. You are the highlight reel.”

“Well, doesn’t that just say it all?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean you never really were present. I was naïve and stupid. You were a drunken idiot who made promises he couldn’t keep.”

“Is that what you’re mad about?” he asked, interest piqued. I continued walking, but he slammed on his brakes and climbed out of his truck to keep pace with me. I had to stop myself from growling under my breath.

“I’m not mad. I’m just surprised and a little disgusted. I was walking home, and—”

“Ayda, your home is clear on the other side of town. You been smoking something you shouldn’t? And where can I get some?”

“I live with my boyfriend. I moved in with him after my house burned down.”

“Jeez, and he makes you walk home?” The judgment in his tone grated on my nerves. He probably thought he was being smart or witty, but he wasn’t. This false concern just made me want to get away from him that little bit faster as the stirring of all the bad memories from our breakup rose to the surface.

“I’m not going to even acknowledge that,” I said, mentally cheering when I heard the growl of a Harley in the distance. I turned and started toward the shape that was still only a mirage on the horizon, but a salvation from this trip down memory lane I’d been forced to take.

“A, I’m serious,” Jacob said, reaching for my arm to stop my progress. “You shouldn’t be walking home out here in the middle of nowhere. That’s how horror movies start.”

“Horror movies start with damsels. I’m not a damsel. I don’t need saving, and I can look after myself.” I pulled my arm from his grip as the bike’s engine slowed and Deeks’ bike rolled to a stop in front of me.

I could have kissed Deeks for coming. I knew now I should have waited for him because Drew would never have left me alone at the diner without a way to get home.

“Problems?” Deeks asked gruffly, addressing me but staring at Jacob like he was shit stuck to the bottom of his shoe.

“Not anymore,” I said, pulling Autumn’s helmet from where it was strapped to the back of the bike and swinging my leg over the back.

“This your boyfriend?” Jacob mocked in a tone neither Deeks nor I appreciated.

Before Deeks could answer for me, I tapped him on the side out of Jacob’s line of sight and smiled sweetly at Jacob. “Why such a surprise? He’s more of a man than you’ll ever be.”

I could feel Deeks’ laughter as I pushed the helmet down over my head and then wrapped my arms around his waist. I was pretty sure he would give me a hard time once he found out who had been following me down the hard shoulder of the highway, but I would take the criticism. The look on Jacob’s face gave me too much satisfaction to not allow myself to enjoy the moment.

Shifting into gear, Deeks spun the back of the bike before taking off toward The Hut, and I didn’t so much as glance back. I just let the wind rush around me, closed my eyes and left Deeks in control for five minutes before he lectured me, too. There was no escaping his knowledge of me being armed, considering my gun was pressed against his back, and he’d found me marching down the road away from a guy who seemed all too familiar with me.

When Deeks finally rolled to a stop in his usual spot, he waited just long enough for me to get my helmet off before he started with the questions.

“Who was that?”

“That was Jacob,” I said, swinging off the bike and busying my hands by replacing the helmet. “He pulled over when he saw me walking home. Before you ask, he was my high school boyfriend, and no, I didn’t know he was back in Babylon.”

“Little defensive there, aren’t ya? I wasn’t judging you, sugar, just worried. Looked like you weren’t too happy about him touching you.”

“I wasn’t, but I had it under control.”

Deeks studied me in that careful, appraising way of his, both of his hands landing on the gas tank of his bike as his gaze shifted to the place I knew I would find Drew beating the shit out of the punching bag. He sighed in resignation and rubbed his face.

“I know you’re going to go in there and talk to him, but put that fucking gun in the bag and let me take the damn thing to your room for you. You go in with that shit strapped to your hip, and he’s gonna go apocalyptic.”

“So you agree with him?” I asked, tugging my shirt up enough to reach the buckle and loosen it.

“I think when you arm yourself, you’re telling the world you’re looking for a fight.”

“That’s not—”

“I know it ain’t, Ayda, but not everyone thinks like you do, kid. There’re people in this world who will see that damn gun and think you have it because you have something worth protecting in your pockets. For Drew…” He tapered off, his head shaking before he held out for the bag. “That ain’t my business. That’s between the two of you.”

I loved Deeks. I had from the moment I met him, but I didn’t regret the way I pushed that bag into his open arms after I’d dropped my gun inside. He of all people should have known why I needed that gun. He of all people should have had my back. I’d been to Autumn’s home and seen the armory they had there, probably for the very same reason I had my gun. They were all hypocrites, and not one of them was going to convince me that I was wrong. Today was a perfect example of that. That random phantom feeling had me spooked, and the only thing that had given me enough balls to start that long walk home was knowing I was protected

“All I’m saying is, you carry a gun, you damn sure better use it when that time comes.” Deeks swung his leg over his bike and hoisted my backpack over his shoulder. “And you better hope to God that it’s warranted. You ending up in prison will destroy that man in there.”

“That’s not my endgame, Deeks.”

“I know it ain’t. Now go before we have to spring for another damn bag.”

I nodded and pulled in another deep breath. The bag comment didn’t leave me with much confidence that I would find Drew cooled off and ready to talk, but a conversation needed to happen and putting it off would only make matters worse.

I crossed the yard quickly, texting Rusty to tell him that I was back, before I slipped inside as quietly as I could, pressing my back to the wall closest to the door as I watched Drew work. He was pissed; I could see that in the taut, twitching muscles that were already covered in sweat. His handsome face was contorted in rage as he swung and kicked, and the skull and hounds on his inked skin almost came to life as he worked, both animals glaring at me with feral rage. It was hypnotic, left, right, grunt, kick, left, right… The longer I let myself stand there, the more violent he became, and I knew I had to talk to him sooner rather than later. I couldn’t stand the thought of him being upset with me anymore.

“Drew?” I said quietly.

There was no response, no break in his rhythm. He hadn’t heard me. I stepped from the shadows and toward him, slipping down onto a weight bench behind him as I built up the courage for one more attempt.

“Drew.”