Rain fell, washing blood and soot off Jaemus’s damaged wolfman body. Everything hurt. Even the gentle touch of the raindrops was painful as he cut through the woods. He was lucky he was able to run though. When those beams in the trading post came down on him, he’d been sure he was in his final moments.

Then Reardon dragged him out. Hoisted him into his arms. Carried him back to the sanctuary. Shifted to wolfman form himself to be able to run faster. His brother had saved him as he had many times on the battlefield. The anger Jaemus had toward Reardon over being turned faded away. Hadn’t turning the men been another way he’d saved them? They would have died facing that enemy of the Spanish king. Turning some of them into werewolves was the only way they could win… and live. Great riches came with that win, too, and Jaemus could be mad at his brother, but he’d wanted those treasures as much as any other man in that army. Reardon’s actions had kept all of them legendary even if they’d been banished from Ireland.

But Reardon couldn’t keep Nika away.

When he’d heard her voice in the clinic, he knew his secret would no longer be secret. She’d want to tend to him, to get him help. To remove his costume that wasn’t a costume. She wouldn’t be content to leave him there to heal on his own. She’d want to be there for him, with him. She’d want to ease his pain.

He wanted that too, but how could she love him now that she knew he was a monster? How could she ever let him touch her again after seeing him in that beastly form, bloody and broken with claws and fangs and fur? Nika deserved a man, not a werewolf.

Jaemus ran toward the trading post to check on the status of the fire. From his vantage point in the woods, only smoke still curled into the sky, the flames now extinguished on both the post and the theater. Using his keen wolf vision, he scanned toward Nika’s barn, which hadn’t caught on fire and still appeared to be unscathed.

At least she still has her home.

Even if he could no longer live downstairs. No longer share space with her. No longer touch her.

Love her.

His heart hurt as much as the rest of him, but after stopping into his space in the barn to grab some clothes, he kept running through the woods, not caring where he ended up. He had to keep moving away from the sanctuary and the trading post.

Away from Nika.

He couldn’t face her again. He couldn’t watch her look at him as if he were a vile creature—which he was. Definitely. He’d only managed to hold on to his humanity because of her and the way she made him feel. Loving her had helped him escape what he’d become. He’d only used the wolfman for her. He’d foolishly thought he could be both the man she loved and the wolfman she needed.

That was over now. They couldn’t go back to the way things were. Not now that she knew. She wouldn’t be able to look at him and not see the struggling, feral mess he’d been on that exam table in the clinic. She’d have nightmares. She’d regret ever allowing him to make love to her.

His pace slowed as the rain tapered off, a wet dirt fragrance filling his long wolf nose. He tried shifting to full wolf and found he was healed enough to do so. On four legs, he streaked through the woods with his clothes in his jaws, attempting to outrun the curse that had maybe saved his life on the battlefield but ruined his life in love.

Jaemus soon arrived at the patch of woods adjacent to Canville’s town center. He paced among the trees, taking inventory of his body. All of his legs were functional and his spine, though sore, appeared to have healed. His wrist was mended as well, and the minor cuts and bruises were gone. He was surprised to have healed so quickly, but perhaps the adrenaline pumping through his body had kickstarted his werewolf abilities.

But there would still be scars. Physical ones on his body. Emotional ones on his heart. Irreparable ones on his soul.

He sat on his haunches, taking in a few deep inhales and exhaling slowly. His lungs stung a little, but he could breathe normally. He no longer felt as if he were choking as he had in the clinic.

Of course what good was oxygen if he didn’t have Nika?

After giving himself some extra moments to make sure his body was truly healed, he focused his energy on shifting back to full man. He achieved the task, but not without some pain. His human body didn’t weather his injuries as well as his wolfman form, but he’d spent too much time running around like an animal. He needed to see his human legs and feet, arms and hands. He needed to pretend he was like everyone else in town. His stomach was empty after using so much energy to heal that refueling was a must. He couldn’t set foot in Canville looking like a wolfman or a wolf. Not if he wanted to avoid another reaction like Nika’s.

The look on her face would never leave him. He’d grown accustomed to having her regard him with such love and admiration and respect, but she hadn’t had any of those in her lovely, pale green eyes back at the clinic. Confusion. Fear. Betrayal. Disgust. He’d seen all of those and didn’t blame her for a single one. He felt the same things whenever he thought about what he was.

Shaking his head, he put on the jeans and T-shirt he’d grabbed from the barn. He hadn’t grabbed any boots, but that was the least of his problems. He shoved a hand into the pockets of his jeans and was surprised to find money in one of them.

Luck of the Irish. He could definitely use more of that.

He made his way to Rosie’s Diner, knowing the place would be closing soon and would likely be mostly empty at his hour. He’d get a bite to eat, something to drink, and maybe on a full stomach, he could plan his next moves.

And figure out what to do to Robert Senclair.

Jaemus sat on the first stool at the long counter. Sharon, who Nika had told him was Rosie’s niece, came over.

“Hey, honey. Heard about the fire at Nika’s place. How is she doing?” She filled a glass with water and slid it, along with silverware, toward Jaemus.

“As well as can be expected,” he said, not wanting to get into the details.

“Damn shame. I’m sure things will work out. Nika is too wonderful a person to not have everything she wants out of life.” She gave him a slight smile and he nodded, although he wished he were one of those things she wanted.

Let it go.

It was good advice. He had to listen to it and let Nika go. She’d have no trouble letting him go now that she knew his whole wolfman routine wasn’t a routine at all. It probably made her sick to her core to know she’d said I love you to someone who had a wolf living inside him. Sure, Nika loved animals, but she wasn’t in love with them.

And he was an animal.

“What can I get you?” Sharon asked, tapping the menu he hadn’t noticed she’d given him.

“Burger. Beer.”

“The simple stuff.” She smiled again. “Coming right up.”

While he waited, Jaemus swiveled on his stool and surveyed the other customers in the diner. A couple huddled on the same side of a booth by the window, no doubt heading home to snuggle into the wee hours of the morning.

Like I used to do with Nika.

He’d miss that. Nika’s amazing body fit against his perfectly, and he’d enjoyed every moment of pulling her close, inhaling her sweet fragrance, nuzzling her silky hair.

At a table in the middle of the diner, four women sat with wineglasses at their elbows and books in their hands. Jaemus’s enhanced vision zoomed in on the cover of the book. Waking the Merrow, by Heather Rigney. The women were talking animatedly, arguing over which character they were rooting for, Evie or Nomia. It appeared to be a tie.

Near the large fireplace that lined one wall of the diner, another table was full of six men, talking in hushed whispers, but Jaemus could easily hear them.

I can’t believe it caught on fire so fast.

I’ve never seen Senclair run that fast.

Gruff chuckles emanated from their darkened corner.

 I thought he wanted the post though.

He wants the land. He don’t give a shit about her shop.

He gave a shit about her though.

Her pussy at least.

More laughter erupted from the table until one of the men shushed everyone. A few more chuckles rose from the group, then Jaemus heard what he already knew.

Robert will have his Mr. Sprinkles erected before the summer ends.

Jaemus was on his feet. At the table in a handful of long strides. Looming over the men seated there.

Unfortunately, Robert wasn’t among them. Too bad because punching him was where Jaemus had wanted to begin. His henchmen would be a good start though.

“Which one of you lit the match?” He had to remind himself not to growl at them.

“Excuse me?” the fat one at the far end of the table asked.

“Was it you?” Jaemus pointed at him. “I know one of you did because even if Senclair was there with you, he wouldn’t dirty his hands with lighting it himself.”

“Fuck off,” the man to Jaemus’s right said.

“I can’t do that. All of you deserve an ass-kicking. I’m just looking for the first volunteer.”

As soon as the words were uttered, all six men were on their feet and surrounding Jaemus.

“Take it outside, fellas,” Sharon yelled from the counter. “Or I’m calling the sheriff to deal with you.” She leveled her gaze on Jaemus as she set down his plate of food. “Burger’s ready, honey. Come eat.”

His logical brain knew Sharon was giving him a chance to let the six bastards leave without him. She was being the voice of reason.

Come eat.

Aye. That was absolutely what he should do. Let them leave, return to his meal, figure out his future.

But he wasn’t feeling logical tonight. Not even a little bit.

****

“So werewolves are real?” Nika took a long slurp of the tea Meredith had poured for her. She sat at Brandy’s kitchen table with Brandy and Reardon sitting across from her. Meredith had taken Dylan and Daisy to her place so the adults could talk.

One adult human and two adult werewolves apparently.

Reardon had told her how he’d been born a werewolf, how he’d changed some of his men—Jaemus included—into werewolves back in Ireland in the past to win a difficult battle. How an ancient Celtic goddess hadn’t been happy with his choice and banished the werewolves in his army and himself from Ireland. How Reardon had ended up at the sanctuary. How he’d fallen in love with Brandy, how they fought to be together, and how he turned her at her request.

How the goddess had given Reardon his brother back. 

Can this be real?

The tea wasn’t clearing Nika’s head at all. She felt as if she’d been held underwater, deprived of oxygen, and had emerged with severe brain damage.

Because how can werewolves be real?

She’d grown up with stories of spirit animals from her father’s Native American friends, but listening to those stories and finding out they had truth to them were totally different situations. Stories she could accept. She’d always loved a good story.

But werewolves? Real, living, breathing werewolves? It was craziness.

Right?

And yet, Jaemus did have an uncanny ability to portray a wolfman in the trading post’s show. He’d excelled at the role like no one before him. His costume had been top-of-the-line.

Because it wasn’t a costume.

Oh, God. Nika chugged more tea, but she needed something stronger.

“Got any whiskey?” she asked Brandy.

“I’ll get it.” Reardon rose from the table, leaving the two women alone but not before giving his bride-to-be a glance.

After he left the kitchen, Brandy switched her seat to the one right beside Nika. “Look, I know this is a lot to take in. It sounds like complete bullshit. The only way to truly believe it is to see it. Come with me.” She held out her hand as she stood.

Nika blinked at her friend’s hand, her own hands firmly wrapped around that tea cup as if it were her only lifeline to normal.

“Come on, Nika. I’ll show you. Then you’ll get it. You’ll believe. You can go find Jaemus and tell him you still love him.”

“I don’t need to see you as a wolf to tell Jaemus I still love him.” Because, dammit, she still loved him. She couldn’t talk herself out of loving him. Her first thought at hearing Reardon tell her Jaemus wasn’t wearing a wolfman costume wasn’t to be disgusted or afraid. Her first thought was that even in wolfman form, covered in blood, suffering in pain, Jaemus was still the sexiest thing she’d ever seen.

She wanted him. She’d always want him. No matter what. She only felt whole with him in her life.

“He needs to know that, Nika.” Brandy rested her hand on Nika’s shoulder. “I’ve gotten to know Jaemus pretty well while he’s been here in Canville, and while he’s different from Reardon in many ways, they both think being werewolves makes them… unworthy. Of normal lives. Of happily ever afters. Of love. Of us.”

“Reardon must know now though,” Nika said. “He has you. He turned you.”

“Because he knew I wanted it. Wanted him.” Brandy picked up Nika’s tea cup though she hadn’t finished. “Go find him. Talk. Work it out.”

Nika stood. “Where should I look for him?”

Brandy puckered her lips as she thought. “He probably wanted to feel anything but werewolf at the moment. He’d want to go somewhere to feel more human.”

“He’s probably starving too,” Reardon added as he handed Nika a glass filled with a quarter of whiskey. “Healing takes up energy.”

An image of Jaemus sitting at the counter in Rosie’s Diner flashed into her head, making her stumble back a step.

“What just happened?” Brandy put a steadying hand on Nika’s arm.

“I had a super clear picture of Jaemus at Rosie’s pop into my head,” she said. “As if I were really seeing him there.”

“Flidae,” Reardon said. “The goddess. She wants you to find him.”

Both Brandy and Reardon cocked their heads to the side as if listening to something Nika couldn’t hear.

Nodding, Brandy said, “Rosie’s. Go.” She reached to the counter and grabbed her keys. “Take my SUV.”

“But I have to go back to my property. See what’s happening.” Not that her heart could take looking at the ruin of everything Tato had worked so hard to build.

Brandy shook her head. “All that isn’t going anywhere. Finding Jaemus is first.”

Nika took the keys and allowed Brandy and Reardon to nudge her out the front door and to Brandy’s SUV. The drive to Rosie’s wasn’t nearly long enough for her to figure out exactly what she should say to Jaemus when she saw him.

So a werewolf? Does your fur itch?

Ugh. She hated herself right now. She kept replaying Jaemus’s last words to her. Making love to a fucking animal. Something on her face—shock maybe—had caused him to say that. He thought she regretted being with him, loving him.

He couldn’t be more wrong.

Jaemus McAlator had brought so much to her life with his simple presence. He was an answer to a prayer sent by a goddess. Literally. True, that goddess had been punishing him for something his brother had done, but Jaemus arriving when he did had worked out for Nika. She’d lost her Wolfman. He’d become her new one. Her trading post was in trouble. He’d saved it with his phenomenal performances each and every day.

Her heart had been empty since Tato’s passing. Jaemus had filled it back up and then some. She wanted Jaemus in her life. Today. Always.

Now she just had to find him and tell him. Make him believe her.

She parked Brandy’s SUV across the street from Rosie’s, but didn’t see any lights on in the small diner. After crossing the street, she cupped her hand over her eyes and peered into the front window. Everything looked cleaned up for the night.

Backing up from the window, Nika scanned up and down the street which was oddly barren tonight. Canville pretty much closed up after dark, but this kind of quiet was strange. A whistly wind blew, making buildings creak, flower baskets on lampposts sway, and Nika’s wavy hair fly about her face.

She rubbed her hands up and down her bare arms, wishing she’d brought a sweatshirt or something. As she walked back to the SUV, another vision blasted into her head, bringing her to her knees in the street.

Jaemus. In the center of a group of men. Shouting. Fighting. Blood.

As much as Nika didn’t want to watch anymore, she forced herself to look for where they were. A river gurgled somewhere to their left. A chain-link fence separated a parking lot from a wide open, green field. A brick building behind Jaemus and the others.

The library.

Nika got to her feet, the vision dissipating as she ran to the SUV and hopped up into the driver’s seat. Two minutes later, she squealed into the library parking lot on two wheels.

But it was empty too.

Dammit. If these visions were from the goddess as Brandy and Reardon thought, she liked to toy with people.

“Would love to know where Jaemus is now, Flidae. These after-the-fact images aren’t helpful.”

But isn’t the hunt fun?

Nika spun in a circle, looking for the source of the voice, but finding no one.

“No, the hunt isn’t fun. I want Jaemus. I need to find him. Please.” She wasn’t above begging. Besides, didn’t goddesses like when humans begged?

Not particularly.

“He could be hurt. Show me where he is.” She was so done playing this game. She had things that needed saying. She had a wolfman to claim. The sooner she found Jaemus, the sooner she could tell him how much he meant to her.

Another picture materialized in her head. This time, Jaemus was on his knees at the edge of the river, a man standing behind him. As the vision rotated, Nika let out a cry.

A gun was pointed at the back of Jaemus’s head.