SIX YEARS LATER...
"I don't get why every December we have to go on separate vacations," I complained, my legs moving up and down as I laid on my stomach and turned the page of the newest book Ian had snuck out of Sam's wolf library.
Ian chuckled, prompting me to lift my gaze from the intriguing section to meet his amused silver eyes. "Just admit you miss me."
"I won't, and don't let me remind you of the time you called last Christmas crying your eyes out because you wanted to be on the beach with me and not helping Sam with work."
"Don't remind me," Ian grumbled, which made me smirk proudly as I returned to reading my book.
Today was November 10th, and Christmas was fast approaching. Every year since I was adopted by Sam and Dolly at the age of six, Dolly and I would go on some month long adventure for Christmas.
I didn't really understand why, and I wasn't going to complain about getting a free vacation, but I didn't like leaving Ian or the wolves over the holiday. We always celebrated Christmas a little earlier for that reason because I didn't like leaving the pack behind.
When I became an official part of the family, Dolly had trained me from day one to take care of the wolves. I didn't know if they were also wolf shifters. Ian kept his word that he couldn't say much about the pack of endangered wolves, but I wasn't bothered by it.
Regardless of whether they were shifters or not, they had become a part of my family, and even though I didn't want to admit it, I felt like I was part of their pack. It was one of the reasons why I referred to them as such. Even if Carter still gives me shade after six years.
Either way, I'd gotten to learn more about each wolf, and Dolly could leave the sanctuary in my hands and not fear of coming home to my mutilated body.
The wolves had grown quite a bit, most of them almost double their size from when I'd arrived. I hoped puberty hit me hard in the height department or all the wolves would be close to my height if I ended up stopping at 5 feet.
Carter was practically the same height as me, and it pissed me off. He'd purposely try to tower over my 12-year-old, 4'11 frame and growl in my face, but I wasn't going to have any of that and humanly growled back.
I probably looked like a complete idiot growling at a wolf who could eat me up, but he wasn't gonna get away with disrespecting me. Reika wouldn't tolerate that attitude either.
We still hadn't figured out why I couldn't shift. Ian and I had been looking into it on our own, but we'd yet to figure things out.
It wasn't like we could ask anyone without giving ourselves away, and Ian said that as long as it wasn't bothering me or Reika physically, we might just have to wait until I got older and Dolly and Sam were ready to talk to me about it.
Either way, Reika didn't seem to mind. Now that I was older, I could literally envision her white fur coat and teal eyes. She almost appeared to be the same size as Carter, and she'd sit there and observe everything I did.
She still talked once in a while, but she wasn't as vocal these days. Maybe it was a puberty thing, but as long as she was mentally present, it didn't bother me.
Overall, I was really satisfied with life right now. I'd been given the title Wolf Tamer, and ever since I had turned 12 in September, Dolly had started trying to help me learn more about different breeds so that I could help at the other sanctuaries.
I don't think the pack liked the idea much, all of them coming over and huddling around my legs until Dolly assured them I wasn't going anywhere. Even Carter was pissed off and wouldn't stop growling until she vowed I'd be here permanently unless I said otherwise.
Ian sighed and closed his book. "Research is so tiring."
"Couldn't agree more. I also think you need to bring the heater up here. I'm cold," I admitted.
Now that it was November, winter was fast approaching, and the weather had been much cooler than usual. It was predicted that this winter would be the worst and everyone should be prepared. Neither of us were worried since we wouldn't be here during December and January wasn't too bad in these parts.
The pack normally stayed at the other sanctuary on the other side of the mountain when we went away, which was their one month of interacting with others. We tried to make it a mandatory twice a year thing, but the pack wasn't having it.
Ian explained they didn't like meeting other packs, but they could tolerate the wolves on the other side of the mountain at least. As long as Carter didn't start any fights with his strong 'I'm better than everyone' attitude, the other wolves would be okay.
"You are?" Ian asked as he sat up. He patted his lap. "Come here."
With a smile, I grabbed my book and crawled over to sit in Ian's lap. I reopened my book and he wrapped his arms around me, resting his head on my shoulder. "Better?"
"Much better." I giggled. As confident as I was perceived to be on the outside, my heart was beating rapidly like I'd been running around the treehouse.
I think I'd had feelings for Ian since day one. He was the secret crush that I so desperately wanted to reveal but didn't have enough confidence to tell him how I felt.
In all the stories I'd read, the girl never told the guy that she liked him. You always had to wait for the guy. I didn't know how to give "signals" or hints like how the internet stated to do. Sometimes I made jokes about it, but it would just make Ian laugh shyly and that was it.
He never took the initiative to ask me out, which made me wonder if he even liked me in that way. We promised to be friends forever, but did that mean we couldn't date?
I decided to return to reading the book in my hands, hoping my heart would calm down and prayed Ian couldn't hear my racing heart.
The book I was reading was about packs, specifically on how mating would work among wolf shifters. It had caught Ian's attention while he was snooping around Sam's private library.
That was where we'd been getting our information or "research" from since we had no other resources. It wasn't like we could go to our local library in town and discover a whole section on wolf shifters and how to identify yourself as one. Too bad.
"So...does everyone have a mate? When you're a wolf shifter I mean." I asked out of curiosity when I finished the section on mates.
"It's complicated. There are different ways of having a mate."
"What do you mean? It says here everyone has a mate chosen by the moon and you guys have huge celebrations and meetups to try and find your mate." I attempted to demonstrate that I was actually reading and not enjoying Ian's gentle cinnamon aroma.
"That book is probably a good fifty years old. Wolf shifters still do ceremonies where you can attend to find your mate, but there are other ways. You also aren't necessarily destined to a mate. The moon decides what circumstance to put you in."
"I don't understand," I admitted, turning slightly to look over my shoulder. My gaze met his, and his silver eyes lowered to my lips. He blinked a few times before he lifted his gaze and answered my question.
"Some wolf shifters can meet a human person by accident and next thing you know, the human gets into a situation where they need to be changed. Think about the movies. You really think it's just a coincidence that a human gets into a car accident and the wolf shifter is randomly at the right place at the right time to save the girl by changing her within the window between life and death."
"Um...yes?" I blinked and pouted my lip. "And I like those movies. It's romantic."
Ian sighed and shook his head. "This is why books like Twilight make money."
"It was a pretty good book though." I grinned, and he chuckled.
"Stop hurting Wolfie’s and my feelings."
I giggled, turning back to rest against him. His hands wrapped a bit tighter around my waist, and I had to take a deep breath to calm down. I didn't know how to explain how I felt right now, but a part of me was really enjoying it.
"Okay, so if the moon directs everyone to have a mate and nothing is really a coincidence, can someone have more than one mate?"
"Yes."
"But what if the girl finds Guy A first and they marry? Then, later on, finds Guy B?"
"It's her choice to stick with A, go to B, or keep both."
"Huh?"
"What?"
"She can't date both of them."
"Why not?"
"Um...that's not allowed," I pointed out, turning my body slightly to comfortably meet his pondering gaze.
"Says who?"
"Books? Religion? The Bible?" I shrugged, not really understanding if there was a rule against a guy or girl having more than one lover.
"There's nothing wrong with having more than one mate as a Shifter. It's humans who try and regulate people from loving more than one person. Shifters, however, practically have to be able to have more than one mate."
"Why?"
"The male to female ratio is off. There are way more male wolf shifters than female. To even have a female Alpha is almost impossible."
"Alpha? I haven't really read up on the whole ranking thing," I admitted. Ian said it was my homework, but I disliked reading things when I was told to. I'd rather be interested in it and dive right into the information as I had done with this whole mate topic.
"Alpha wolf is basically the leader of the pack. To find an Alpha female is extremely rare. There are Beta's who are like second in commands, and it can move down the ranks to submissive. Sadly, there are a lot of submissive wolf shifters who are female."
"That's disappointing?"
"To me, yes."
"Why?"
He blushed a little and glanced away. "I don't want a mate who can't fight back on topics and debates. That's just boring."
I slowly nodded while a thought came to my mind. "We don't fight a lot."
He looked back to raise an eyebrow at me. "We don't 'fight,' but you sure love to disagree with me."
"It depends on my mood," I said with pride. He sighed but couldn't hide the smile that formed on his lips.
"Are you an Alpha?" I asked.
"No, Beta," Ian replied. "Like second in command. If the Alpha is away, Wolfie can easily take the alpha role if needed. He and I just prefer not to unless another Beta can't take over."
"Interesting," I mused. "So, an example of an Alpha in a pack is Carter?"
"Yes. Carter is a perfect example of an Alpha, minus his attitude," Ian explained.
"Good thing he's just a wolf. There's no way I could imagine him being a wolf shifter. He'd scowl at everything and try to act like he hates Muffin."
Ian was silent, but our attention moved to the door where it slowly opened. Muffin's little head popped between the space of the open door first, her mismatched eyes meeting mine before she ran over to us. "Muffin? How’d you get up here."
"Meow meow." Muffin jumped right on top of the book, purposely sitting in the middle so that I gave her 100% of my attention. Even after all these years, she'd remained her little self, but she'd gotten a lot smarter for her own good.
"That would be my fault." We looked up to see O'Neil's wide smile.
"O'Neil," I said with a smile.
"Hey, kiddos. You guys gonna come down to eat dinner soon?"
"Um, sure. We're almost done reading," I pointed out.
"And we're 12 and 14, O'Neil. We're not kiddos," Ian stated.
"Sure, mature Kiddo." O'Neil winked at us with a smirk. "See ya downstairs. Muffin, make sure they don't make out."
My face burned red and I stuttered, "We're READING!"
"Alright," O'Neil called out, closing the door. We could hear his fading footsteps as he climbed back down, and we were both silent for a good minute before I had the guts to peer over my shoulder to look at Ian's expression.
His face was bright red up to his ears. "Ian...your ears are red."
Ian groaned. "It's hot that's why."
"Sure. Super hot."
Don't be a promoter.
"I thought it said in books that wolf shifters are honest."
I am honest.
"With me? Yes. With your emotions? Not so much. Could have been Ian's mate already."
Th-that isn't true. I'm twelve.
"Smart, twelve-year-old who likes Ian Chestwood and smells his clothes when he isn't looking. Does he know about the drawer in your room with half his missing clothes?"
Enough! And don't tell him that.
"Intriguingly enough I can't yet, but when we learn how to shift and if you still haven't told him about your feelings, I'm telling Wolfie."
You're mean.
"You love me."
I returned my gaze to Muffin who was using her paw to reach up and pat my necklace that dangled on my chest, and though I was embarrassed, I remained in Ian's arms. He didn't move away either, only tightening his hold around me.
"So...does that mean you'll have a mate..." I whispered.
"Maybe."
I bit my lip, not liking how my heart sank at the simple word. I knew it didn't mean yes, but it also didn't mean no, and maybe just wasn't sitting well with me. I suddenly felt upset just thinking about it.
"Harper? Are you upset?"
"No."
"Wolfie says you are."
"Wolfie can't even see me," I grumbled.
"Harper."
I turned my head to look at him and he stared into my eyes. "I see you."
The words felt heavy in the quiet atmosphere, and I swallowed the lump in my throat. I wanted to tell him. To say I had a crush on him, but I couldn't. The words wouldn't dare leave my lips, yet the way Ian looked at me, those silver eyes that showed multiple emotions each time I hung out with him, held something more in them at this moment.
Something more that I didn't understand.
"If...you get a mate...you'll still at least be my friend...right?" I whispered and couldn't hide my sadness.
Ian blinked once, and I noticed how he bit his lower lip as if to stop himself from replying right away. The sadness in my heart only increased and I turned away. "We should head for dinner."
Muffin hopped off my lap and I closed the book in my lap. I stood with ease and walked over to our little bookshelf to hide the book between my paranormal romance collection of books I knew Dolly and Sam wouldn't be interested in checking.
I froze at the gentle touch that pressed against my back, and Ian's hand laid on my right one that was still on the spine of the book we'd been reading.
"What if I don't want a mate?" he whispered.
"You have to have a mate. It's the moon calling," I mumbled, trying to calm my heart that pounded so loudly I was scared I'd miss Ian's next words.
His cinnamon scent engulfed me, and I felt the weight of his chin on my shoulder as he whispered. "What if I know exactly who I want?"
"Whoever it is must not know, and if you did know who you want, you would tell her." We were both silent, but I could feel my nerves trying to eat me from the inside out. My ears wanted to hear him say he liked me. I wanted to be given the permission to hug him not as a friend, but as his girlfriend.
I wanted to be Ian's girlfriend before someone else took him away from me. Yet, I didn't have enough guts to tell him, and that was even more painful.
I could feel his hot breath against my neck, and for a second I wondered what it felt like to be kissed by a boy. In the stories I would read, and the tv series I got to watch when Dolly wasn't around, it seemed so magical. It made me wonder if it was like enjoying a deep inhale of fresh air, or if tingles did run through you at the touch of that person's lips.
My imagination halted as my phone that was in my front pocket began to vibrate, breaking the spell between us. I pulled it out, thinking it was Dolly or Sam texting me, but it was someone else.
"Who's Bob?"
"Uh...a boy?" I answered quietly, unsure why he was curious. I remained in place and was going to open the text, but Ian wrapped his hand, which was at least 1/3 bigger, around mine, his thumb pressing a specific button and just like that, he deleted it.
"Why did you delete it?" I asked, wanting to turn and glare at him, but he pressed himself against my back which caused me to remain still.
"Who is he?"
"He's a guy from town. He asked for my number when Dolly and I went to the store. Why does it matter? It's just a guy," I mumbled, trying to ignore the weird things going on with my body.
He didn't say anything, and I sighed, lowering my hand out of his before I turned around to face him. "It's not a big..." I trailed off when my eyes met his.
Something was different about them. I didn't know what it was, but his eyes pulled me in, and I was so transfixed by the slight illumination within them that I almost forgot to breathe.
"He can't have you," Ian whispered, leaning closer to me. I wanted to say something, to question what he meant by Bob not having me, but Ian continued, his voice so low I almost missed it.
"You're mine."
And just like that, I experienced my first kiss with Ian Chestwood. My crush and who I hoped to be my future boyfriend.