They drove on, all of them weary and shaken. They’d faced bullets, missiles, a plane crash. Still, thought Alia, it was different to know that the forces allied against you weren’t just humans who happened to be better trained and armed, but that actual gods were trying to take you down.
For a while, Diana and Jason passed the map back and forth, debating the best route to take to Therapne. They could save hours by cutting east across one of the major highways, but those roads would also probably be the most closely watched. Instead, they agreed to keep heading south to a twisting mountain road that would take them directly through the Taygetus. It was steep, empty of people, and rarely used by anyone but tourists eager for scenery. The sharp cliffs and rock overhangs also meant they’d be hard to get eyes on from the air.
The sun sank low over the horizon, and Nim’s pace slowed. They used their brights when they could, but sometimes they had to double back when they missed road signs, and they were all getting sleepy. Nim’s yawns grew more frequent. They rolled down the windows, turned the radio up loud. Jason kept offering her swigs of sugary soda from their supplies. But it was no good.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “If I don’t stop, I’m going to fall asleep at the wheel.”
“It’s okay,” Alia said gently. She could sense Diana’s frustration with their progress, but she also knew Nim had pushed as hard as she could. They all had. If the gods had meant to scare them off, they’d failed.
They’d been wending their way down the eastern side of a steep series of hills, and when they reached a flat-enough area, Nim steered the car carefully off the road behind a stand of lush poplars and brush that would hide the car from anyone on the road.
“We’ll camp tonight,” said Jason. “If we get an early start tomorrow, we’ll be in Therapne long before sunset.”
“We have to be,” said Diana. “At dawn, the new moon rises and Hekatombaion begins.”
Nim punched a button and the car’s engine went silent. She turned off the headlights.
“We have the blankets Diana took from the farmhouse,” said Jason. “Two people can sleep in the car.”
“Or we could all sleep in the car,” said Theo. “Not that I’m afraid of the dark. Which I am not.”
Nim’s hands gripped the steering wheel. “I’m not sure that’s a great idea. Not if our…friends come back.”
They opened the Fiat’s doors and stepped outside into the balmy air. The stars glimmered brightly, gilding the trees around them in silver. Diana dropped into a lunge, stretching her long legs, and Alia felt a pang of sympathy. If she felt this stiff after being crammed in that car, Diana must really have been hurting.
“Do you hear that?” said Theo. “It sounds like running water.”
They picked their way through the trees and brush toward the sound and emerged at the top of a wide outcropping of rock. Alia took a deep breath, something in her heart eased by the beauty of what she saw.
A waterfall. Two waterfalls, really. One that fed the small pool beside them, and another that cascaded over the rocks in a misty white veil, emptying into a wide, dark pond below.
Theo picked up a rock and tossed it over the cliff. It hit the surface with a resonant plunk, sending silver ripples marching toward shore. “Seems pretty deep.”
“Look,” said Nim. “A bell.”
She was right. An old iron bell hung from a metal bar that had been driven between the rocks. “I think there’s a cave back there,” said Alia. “But why a bell?”
“It might be a hermit cave,” said Diana. “Mystics—”
But her voice was cut off by the sound of Theo’s whoop as he ran past them stark naked and leapt off the rock. A tremendous splash sounded, and they raced to the edge to see him emerge in the frothing water and shake his head like a dog.
Did I really just see Theo Santos naked? Alia thought. Do not giggle, she warned herself, but it was really hard when her mind kept conjuring up the image of Theo’s starlit backside.
“Good news!” he called from below. “It’s deep enough!”
“He is unhinged,” said Nim.
Diana frowned. “How did he even get his clothes off that fast?”
“We don’t have time for this,” Jason grumbled.
“I don’t know,” said Alia. “We have to stop for the night, and that water looks pretty good.” Just for a minute, she wanted to forget all the horror they’d seen. She wanted to pretend she was an ordinary girl on a road trip, even if she knew the illusion wouldn’t last.
“Alia—”
“Jason, I am tired, sweaty, and grumpy.”
“That’s like three of the Seven Dwarfs,” said Nim. “I don’t want to know what happens when she gets to four.”
“I am part man!” Theo shouted from far below. “But also part fish!”
“Besides,” said Alia, nudging Jason with her shoulder, “we need something good right about now.”
“She’s right,” said Diana. “We can’t keep driving, so it’s not as if we’re losing time.” She unbuckled the straps of her top and pulled it over her head.
“What are you doing?” squeaked Alia, trying not to stare. “Why is everyone suddenly allergic to their clothes?”
“I thought you wanted to swim,” said Diana, untying her sandals and yanking her leather trousers down.
“You’re…you’re…,” said Jason. He looked at the sky, the rocks, and then somewhere just over Diana’s shoulder. “You don’t have anything on.”
A furrow appeared between Diana’s brows. “Did Theo?”
“I don’t…I mean—”
“Is something wrong?” Diana asked, planting her hands on her hips as if she were about to start a cheerleading routine.
“Absolutely not,” said Nim. “Jason, Alia, you shut your mouths. I fell out of a plane. I got possessed by a war goddess. I deserve some happiness.”
“A thing I thought,” babbled Jason. “I had a thinking—”
“You should swim, too,” said Diana. “You may be suffering heatstroke.”
She turned her back and strode to the end of the rock, raising her arms overhead, her muscles flexing, her hair a gleaming tide over her shoulders. “Come on!” Diana called happily, and then she leapt, her body forming a perfect arc, her skin shining as if lit by some secret source of moonlight. A splash sounded from below.
“I should exfoliate more,” said Alia.
“This is the best moment of my life,” said Nim.
Jason had apparently given up on speech.
They swam for well over an hour. Alia had been sure Jason wouldn’t join, but eventually he’d cannonballed over the top of the falls and made a very un-Jason-like splash.
Despite the laughter and Theo’s continued crooning of “Don’t go chasing waterfalls,” she was aware of how cautious everyone was being, the distance Nim and Theo kept from each other, the alert way that Diana and Jason watched them. And yet she was right: They’d needed something good, and this—lying on her back in the water, the stillness of the pond filling her ears, the spangle of stars so dense above her it felt like she was looking into time itself—was very good.
Tomorrow they would reach the spring. Would its waters feel different on her skin? Would she know something inside her had changed forever?
When they were all thoroughly waterlogged and pruny, Diana jogged back up the hill to retrieve her leathers and brought their clothes and a blanket down from the car. Since they were away from the road, it seemed safe to make a fire and, after they gathered enough kindling, Diana set the little pile ablaze with ease.
“If all the Girl Scouts looked like her, I would have joined,” Nim murmured.
“And worn that green uniform?”
Nim retched. “Never mind.”
Diana claimed there were rabbits in the woods and offered to hunt them, but Nim was a vegetarian and no one was quite hungry enough to go that rustic. They ate most of what was left of the snacks from the gas station, and warmed themselves by the crackling of the flames.
“I’m exhausted,” said Alia at last. “But I don’t know if I can sleep.”
“Theo and I will crash outside tonight,” said Jason. “You guys can take the car.”
“I know you’re not going to like this,” said Diana. “But we should probably restrain both Theo and Nim.”
“I don’t mind,” said Nim. “I really don’t want that thing in my head again.”
Theo shuddered and nodded.
“We can rig something up with the blanket for Theo,” said Jason. He paused. “Can you use the lasso on Nim?”
Diana’s fingers brushed the golden loops of rope at her hip. “It’s not really meant to be used that way. I’ve heard of people being driven mad when bound too long in its coils.”
“Why?” asked Alia.
“No one wants to live with the truth that long. It’s too much.”
“I’ll say,” said Nim. “Jason looked like his head was going to explode.”
“Nim!” said Alia. Did she really have to go kicking that particular beehive?
But Diana just looked Jason in the eye and said, “That was wrong of me. To use the lasso on a compatriot without his consent. I swear it won’t happen again.”
Jason held her gaze, and Alia felt a little like she was witnessing something private. “I should have told you. You gave me the chance, but I was too cowardly to take it.” Then he seemed to remember they were sitting around a campfire. “I should have told all of you. Mom and Dad had their theories about where my strength came from, that it was tied to the bloodline and had just somehow skipped Dad, but…I never really believed it all.”
“So that thing,” said Nim, pointing at the lasso. “It really compels the truth?”
“Yes,” Diana said.
“Had you used it before?” said Jason.
“No,” she admitted.
He raised a brow. “What if it hadn’t worked?”
The faintest smile tugged at her lips. “I wanted the truth. I was going to get it.”
“But where did it come from?” said Nim. “How did you make it?”
“I didn’t. It was woven by Athena on a spindle forged in Hestia’s fire, of fiber harvested from Gaia’s first tree.”
A few days ago, Alia would have laughed, but after tangling with a pair of spiteful battle gods, she wasn’t inclined to scoff.
“Big deal,” said Theo. “You can probably get one on eBay.”
“Off what coast is that located?” Diana asked.
Theo opened his mouth. Shut it. “Good question.”
“So it’s basically organic, locally sourced super string,” said Nim. “Athena is the goddess of war, isn’t she?”
“She’s the goddess of war, but also of knowledge, and the pursuit of knowledge is basically—”
“The pursuit of truth,” said Jason.
Diana nodded. “And like the truth, the lasso can’t be altered or broken. I think that’s why I was able to use it against Phobos. It’s true in a way that the terror he inspires isn’t.”
“Nothing’s indestructible,” said Nim.
Diana looped a coil around her hand and flung the rope into the fire, sending up a shower of sparks.
Alia gasped, but the lasso didn’t catch. It lay in the flames, unaltered, visible through the fire like a stone through clear water.
Diana drew it back and passed it to Nim. “See?” she said.
Nim squealed. “It’s not even warm!”
“We should try it,” Theo said.
“Jumping into the fire?” said Nim. “Definitely go for it.”
“The lasso, Nim.”
“It isn’t a toy,” Diana said.
“Come on,” said Theo. “One question each. Like truth or dare.”
“I don’t know…,” said Alia.
“Please?” Nim begged.
“You’re actually agreeing with Theo?”
“I’m curious! And Jason survived.”
Jason shook his head. “You don’t want to mess with this. I’ve felt the lasso’s power, and you’re not going to like it.”
“Meaning you’re tough enough to handle it, but we aren’t?” said Theo. His tone was light, but Alia could sense the tension in his words.
“That isn’t what I meant.”
“Come on, Diana,” Theo said. “Let’s do this.”
Diana hesitated, and Alia wondered if she knew just how much of Theo’s pride was wrapped up in this moment. She breathed a small sigh of gratitude when Diana said, “Okay, but only for a second.”
“Me first!” shouted Nim.
“But I—” protested Theo.
“I called it, and by Holy Right of Dibs, it is mine.”
Theo rolled his eyes. “Go on,” he said. “I hope it melts your tiny brain.”
Diana bit her lip and formed a loop with the lasso. “You’re sure?”
Nim bobbed her head. “Hit me.”
Diana slipped the rope over Nim’s head and down to her shoulders.
Suddenly, Nim’s eyes went blank. She sat up straight, slack-jawed.
“Nim?” said Alia.
“What do you wish to know?” Nim replied. Her voice was oddly formal.
“Umm…what should we ask her?” said Alia. “Quick!”
Diana frowned. “I’m not sure. I’ve never seen anyone react that way.”
“Did you cheat on our U.S. History final?” said Alia.
“The system is corrupt. It was my duty to subvert it.”
“Are you kidding?” said Alia.
“I must tell the troooooth,” said Nim. “You should own more than one color of lip glossssss.”
Alia punched Nim in the arm. “You are the worst.”
“I am the best. See? Truth. And I can’t believe you would ask me something that boring. Of course I cheated on the history final. Mr. Blankenship is a terrible teacher. If he wants to bore me to death, he should expect me to cheat on his crappy test.”
“What was I supposed to ask you about? Were you the one who put shaving cream in Alicia Allen’s locker?”
“Yes, but only because she kissed me at the harvest party and then pretended it never happened and then called me a lezzie to all her friends.” Nim clapped her hands over her mouth.
Alia stared at her. “Are you serious?”
“I—I didn’t mean to say that.” Nim’s eyes looked slightly panicked. “I…” Sweat broke out on her brow, and her breath came in shallow pants.
Diana pulled the rope free. “I’m sorry! I warned you.”
A tremor passed through Nim’s body. “That was so weird.”
“Alicia Allen?” said Alia. “Really? You’re always saying how awful she is. You said she had a face like a weasel.”
Nim scowled. “She’s actually kind of human when she isn’t with her crappy friends. I don’t know. Not a lot of girls at our school show an interest, okay? I don’t get to pick the lesbians.”
“My turn!” said Theo.
Jason picked up a stick and jabbed it into the fire. “This is a bad idea. We should stop.”
Theo shuffled over on his knees and crouched in front of Diana, his back to the flames. “Ready.”
Alia saw the look that passed between Jason and Diana. Jason gave the barest shake of his head. Did he really think Theo would get hurt? Or was he afraid of what Theo might say?
Diana considered for a moment, then looped the lasso over Theo’s body.
Alia searched her mind for something silly to ask him. She knew what she wanted to say, but even if they’d been alone, she still wouldn’t have had the guts. Have you ever seen me as anything more than Jason’s annoying little sister? Could you? Just thinking the words made her cheeks flame.
But before she could order her thoughts, Nim said, “Did you or your dad tip off those Germans so they could attack the museum?”
“Nim!” Jason said sharply, but Diana made no move to draw back the rope.
“Of course not,” said Theo, his face shocked. “I didn’t know anything about it.”
“What about your father?” Nim said harshly.
“No!” shouted Theo.
Alia felt a tiny knot of tension beneath her ribs unspool.
Theo yanked the rope free and cast it aside. “How could you even think something like that?”
“We were all thinking it,” said Nim. “Your dad disappeared at a pretty convenient time.”
Theo rocked back on his heels, staring at them with wide, hurt eyes. “You really thought I could be involved in something like this?” He turned his wounded gaze on Alia. “You thought I’d help people hurt you?”
Alia shook her head furiously. “No! I…” What had she believed? That she was destruction walking. That Theo or his father would be entirely justified if they wanted her gone.
“There are spies on Jason’s security team,” Diana said gently. “Informers within Keralis Labs. No one knew what to think.”
“What about you, Jason?” Theo asked.
Jason scrubbed a hand over his face. “You could have tipped someone off without even realizing it.”
“So I’m not evil, I’m just incompetent?”
“Theo—” Jason began. But Alia had the feeling whatever he said next was just going to make things worse.
“My turn!” she blurted. They all stared at her. “For the lasso,” she continued. “Put it on me, Diana.”
“Seriously?” said Jason.
Diana hesitated, but the pleading in Alia’s eyes must have done the trick because she gave a disbelieving shake of her head and said, “All right.”
“Great!” Alia said with false enthusiasm. “But only one question.” Under her breath, she whispered, “Nim, help me out here.”
“Got you,” murmured Nim.
“You’re sure about this?” said Diana.
Absolutely not. Why hadn’t she thought of some other way to change the subject? An interpretive dance. How ’bout those Mets? Really, the options were endless.
She tried to look calm as she let Diana loop the lasso gently over her shoulders. Its fibers were cool against her skin, and Alia felt a curious lightness overtake her. She saw that she feared the lasso because she feared everything. That she was afraid of the world in a way that Theo didn’t seem to be, or Nim or Jason. That she loved Nim but resented her ease with people. That she feared Nim would tire of her, stop wanting to be her friend, go off to have adventures with someone more fun. That Nim would never forgive her for the trauma of the last few days. That Alia simply was not worth the trouble. All these truths passed through Alia’s mind in the barest second, horrible in their clarity. Every small lie she’d ever told herself torn away to reveal something ugly but unburdened beneath.
She saw Nim open her mouth to ask a question, but Theo said, “What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done?”
“Oh, I know the answer to this,” said Nim with relief. “She fainted in gym class.”
Alia parted her lips to agree, but instead she said, “I wrote Theo a love letter.”
“What?” Nim shrieked.
“What?” Jason barked.
“Oh,” said Theo, looking a little stunned. Or was he totally horrified? She couldn’t tell.
Diana was already leaning forward to remove the lasso.
Alia wanted to blurt a denial. Her mouth formed the words to say “Just kidding,” but instead she heard her own voice saying, “When I was thirteen. On pink princess stationery, and I sprayed it with lemon Pledge because I didn’t have any perfume. I put it in one of his books.”
This was easily the worst moment of her life, and that included every recent near-death experience. Diana yanked the rope over Alia’s head, but Alia couldn’t get free fast enough. She wriggled it past her braids and stood up, heat flooding her cheeks.
I’m going to die right here, she thought, eyes jumping from Nim’s grimace to Jason’s wince to Diana’s worried blue gaze. She refused to look at Theo. Because the earth wasn’t going to do her the courtesy of opening to swallow her. She’d live with this humiliation burning through her every time she looked at him, the same way it had been for months after she’d given him that note.
He’d been fifteen and string-bean skinny and perfect, and she’d been completely mad for him in a way that had seemed totally inevitable at the time. He would mutter to himself in Portuguese while he was scribbling away at his homework, and Alia thought it was the most adorable thing she’d ever seen.
The night Alia had signed the note with a flourish and placed it between the pages of Theo’s math book, her sense of elation had lasted all the way to her bedroom. Then she’d panicked. She’d raced back to the living room, but Theo had already returned to the table, and there was no way to retrieve it. Eventually, he’d picked up his books, tucked them into his bag, and headed out, all while Alia sat there, pretending to conjugate French verbs, certain she was going to be sick. She’d tried to retrieve it after school the next day, but when she’d opened the math book, the letter was gone.
Alia would never forget the horrible, sickening cringe she’d felt in that moment—especially now that she was feeling it all over again.
Theo had never said anything, but she’d noticed he made sure never to be in a room alone with her again. Or maybe he hadn’t and she’d imagined it. Alia could never be sure. But the sheer strain of trying to act casual over the next few months had been completely exhausting. Then Theo had gone away for the summer, back to São Paulo with his dad, while Alia and Jason had stayed in Martha’s Vineyard, and Alia had been almost relieved. Except when Theo came back, he was nearly half a foot taller, that smattering of acne gone. He didn’t even seem human anymore. And she looked exactly the same.
Now Alia smoothed down her damp T-shirt. “Well,” she said. “That was the worst thing ever.”
“Alia,” said Theo, on his feet now. “It’s no big deal. Honestly, it’s awesome.”
Theo had ignored her, he’d teased her…but Theo pitying her?
“Good night, everyone!” she chirped with forced cheer, and stumbled toward the path, ignoring Diana’s call of “Alia!”
She marched up the hill, tears choking her throat. It wasn’t the embarrassment. It wasn’t the memory. It was everything that had come with it, every hateful thought she’d ever had about herself like a chorus in her head. The lasso was like looking into a mirror that stripped away each illusion you used to get yourself through the day, every bit of scaffolding you’d built to prop yourself up. And then there was just you. Boobs too small. Butt too big. Skin too ashy. She was too nerdy, too weird, too quiet around people. In the grips of the lasso, she’d known that she was glad that Theo and Nim didn’t get along because Nim was funnier and braver and more interesting than Alia would ever be. She was like a gorgeous little fireball, while Alia was an ember, banked fire, easily overlooked in the face of all those flames. The idea that Theo might look at Nim one day and want her, choose her, had made Alia hate them both a little, and made her hate herself even more.
Alia crawled into the backseat of the Fiat and curled up against the car door. She could still see the stars through the window, but now all she felt was small.
A while later, she heard Nim open the door and climb into the driver’s seat. “You awake?” she whispered.
“Yeah,” Alia replied. She didn’t feel like pretending.
“What did it show you?”
Alia glanced briefly at Nim. She sat face forward, gaze focused on the windshield. Maybe it was easier to talk this way, in the dark, without having to look each other in the eye.
Alia leaned her head back against the glass. “Basically that I’m a petty, jealous jerk. You?”
“That I’m a coward.”
“That’s ridiculous. You’re the bravest person I know. You wore shorts with suspenders to a dance.”
“That look worked.”
“Like I said.”
Alia heard Nim shift in her seat. “For all my big talk, I’ve never brought a girl home. I’ve never even hinted at that stuff to my parents. I’m afraid if I do, it will all fall apart.”
Alia blinked, surprised. She’d figured Nim would come out to her parents when she was ready. They were one of the most loving families she knew. “I don’t think that’s true.”
“It doesn’t matter if it’s true. It feels true.”
Alia hesitated. She dug her fingernails into her palm. “Don’t give up on me, okay?”
Nim twisted around in her seat and shoved her sheaf of hair back from her face. “What?”
Alia made herself meet Nim’s eyes. “Once I go to the spring, it’ll change. I won’t have to be as scared to go out. I’ll do better. Go to more parties. Whatever you want.”
“Alia, it doesn’t matter if you start hanging out at warehouse parties till dawn or if you stay in your room looking at balls of cells the way I know you want to. It’s always going to be you and me against the world.”
“Why?”
“Because everyone else sucks, and you don’t need a magic lasso to know that’s the truth.”
Alia grinned, some of the shame and hurt sliding away. She closed her eyes, suddenly feeling like she might actually be able to sleep.
“Alia,” she heard Nim murmur.
“Hmm?”
“No offense, but this is the worst vacation ever.”
“I told you we should go to the Grand Canyon,” Alia managed before fatigue overcame her, and she let herself drift into a deep sea of sleep.