“Ma, go sit down. We’ll do this,” I said as she fussed with everything for the umpteenth time since I’d walked in the kitchen.

“I’m more than capable,” she told me, putting me right in my place with her tone that said “don’t fuck with me.”

“Wouldn’t you rather be kissing on your grandbabies?” Mia asked, trying to help.

“I’ll kiss them after we have dinner.”

My ma had been cooking Sunday dinner for longer than I could actually remember. I didn’t remember a time where she didn’t cook for the entire family. Even after she broke a bone or two—we won’t get into how that happened because I’m still traumatized—she still slaved away over the stove to put on a spread that would rival any Italian restaurant in the country.

Suzy sat at the island, tearing the already-washed lettuce into smaller pieces and tossing them into a bowl that was bigger than her head. Mia stirred the sauce, making sure it didn’t burn because there was nothing that made the men in our family grumpier than a few black flakes in their gravy. Max cut the few loaves of Italian bread into thick, meaty slices. And I took the lasagnas out of the oven so they could cool enough to be cut without falling apart.

As the family grew, the meals had gotten larger. Instead of cooking for a dozen people, now there were so many kids and additions that my parents’ kitchen was almost at capacity. If we had a few more kids, Ma would have to buy another oven to prep everything and get it on the table at the same time.

“Mar, come sit with me. Let’s talk about tomorrow,” Aunt Fran said before sipping her glass of red wine next to Suzy.

Fran was the watchdog of the group. She was the worst cook… Yes, even worse than Suzy, and that was saying something. I always thought they should test her DNA or revoke her Italian card because there was no way that shit couldn’t just rub off on her. But somehow, it didn’t. The only person in the family who could stomach her food was Bear, and that was because he wanted to keep her happy.

Ma smiled at my aunt and finally decided to sit because we had this down to a science. How could we not after over fifteen years of cooking this obscene feast?

“What time are you picking me up?” Ma grabbed the bottle of wine and poured herself a hefty glass.

“Let’s say eleven.”

Suzy grunted as she tore the heart of the lettuce head apart and threw it in the bowl like it had somehow offended her. “Where are you ladies going?”

“I have some tests at the hospital.”

Dead fucking silence. All stirring stopped. All chatter evaporated. All movement ended. Every set of eyes in the room focused solely on my mother.

“For what?” I clutched my chest and tried to steady my breathing.

My mother had always been as healthy as a horse. But every year, I’d seen the time wearing on her as she got a few more wrinkles and a couple more gray hairs. I knew that time was ticking and that every day with my parents was a gift, but I was not ready for anything to happen to them. I didn’t know if I’d ever be.

“Just some routine tests. Mammogram and all that jazz.”

I slid my eyes to Mia because, as the doctor in the family, she could call bullshit faster than me, but I needed to get more information. “And you need a ride for that?”

“Well, no.” She lifted the wineglass to her lips and took a giant sip, letting the alcohol sit on her tongue so she didn’t have to speak.

“For fuck’s sake, Mar. Just tell them. They’re not kids.”

That was the point where my heart dropped. My mother was being shady, not wanting to answer the questions, and Aunt Fran’s comment that we weren’t kids told me it was bad.

“Fine,” Ma snarled at Fran, showing her anger that her secret was out. “The doctor wants me to have a biopsy on a spot they saw on my mammogram. It’s really no big deal, and chances are it’s nothing.”

I stumbled backward. The weight of her words hit me like a sledgehammer. “Do they think you have cancer?” It was a dumb question. They wouldn’t be sending her for a biopsy for anything else, but it felt so foreign it was the only thing that came to mind.

“It’s just routine. We’re trying to rule out cancer. You know how these things are. As we age, weird shit grows. It’s probably benign.”

“Cancer?” I asked again like I was stuck on stupid. I was, though. It was the last thing I thought I’d hear today. It wasn’t where I thought they were going when I heard them chatting about tomorrow earlier. I figured the two of them were going to Nordstrom’s to do some damage to their credit cards. Never in my wildest and darkest nightmares did I think they were making a date to go to the hospital to check my ma for cancer.

My hands shook and my lungs felt tight, like a giant weight had been placed on my chest. I blinked twice, staring at my mother, and felt tears filling my eyes.

Mia placed her hand on my shoulder, giving it a small squeeze. “It’s okay, Izzy. Most of the time, the biopsy comes back benign.”

I glanced at Mia as I wiped my eyes. “Did you hear what you said? Most of the time.”

“Was the spot they saw large, Ma?” Mia asked, ignoring my special kind of crazy.

“No, it was smaller than a dime. Even if it is cancer, it’s small enough that they can cut it out, and they have some fancy pill now instead of regular chemotherapy.”

Ma talked about the entire biopsy cancer thing like she was chitchatting about a nail appointment, not like the life-altering test that it very well could be.

“That’s good. They’ve come a long way with the treatments. I’m sure it’ll be fine.” Mia gripped my shoulder tighter and spun me around. “In the other room. Now.”

I nodded slowly, stalking toward the dining room with Mia right on my heels.

“You need to calm the fuck down, girl. You’re going to give yourself a heart attack.” Mia’s brown hair swayed as she talked, waving her arms around between us. “Everything is going to be okay.”

“Mia,” I whispered and looked back toward the kitchen. “Cancer.”

She placed both hands on my shoulders and stared me straight in the eyes. “At her age, there are plenty of treatments. Cancer isn’t usually as aggressive in the senior population. As we age, everything slows down in the body, including cancer. Your mom is now in her early seventies, Izzy, and she’s the perfect candidate for the chemo pill. This is all only if she has cancer. It’s most likely nothing.”

I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

“Don’t freak out until we know exactly what we’re dealing with.”

There was nothing scarier than that fucking word. I thought I was pretty badass and could knee-kick any fucker that tried to cross me, but I felt completely helpless to do anything when it came to this. There wasn’t a damn thing I could do except wait and see what happened.

“Ladies,” Ma said, coming into the room behind me with a smile on her face. Always being the cheerful one of the family and the glue that kept us all intact. “I promise to tell you everything. Izzy, you can come with me to the appointment when I meet with the doctor in a week to go over the results.”

“A week?” I groaned. I’d have to live with the fear of not knowing if my mother had cancer for a solid week. That was seven days of pure torture.

“Yes.” She wrapped her arms around me from behind and nuzzled her face in my neck. “I’m a tough old bird, baby. Don’t cash me out already.”

There was only one chick I knew that was tougher than me, and it was my ma. I was every bit her daughter. I thanked God every day that she raised me to be a strong, independent woman instead of a meek and mild mouse who let men walk over her.

I pressed my head against hers and reached up, placing my hand on her arm. I wished I could freeze our lives at this point in time. I didn’t want to get older. I didn’t want my parents to get any older either. I loved life just as it was and didn’t want a damn thing to change. “I’d like to be there for you, Ma.”

“You can.” She kissed my cheek, lingering a little longer than usual and smelling me like she did when I was a kid. I’d always thought it was odd until I had kids of my own and caught myself smelling them a little too often to be normal. “Now, let’s not talk anymore about this. I want today to be like every other Sunday. No bringing this up to the boys either.”

I loved that she still called them boys even though they were men. Everybody in the room was over forty, but she refused to think of them as anything other than kids. “I promise, Ma.”

“Let’s finish dinner and get it on the table before all hell breaks loose.”

I tried to be normal. God, how I tried as we placed all the food on the table and served the Gallo army. As I glanced around the dining room, noticing the smiling faces, I wondered how different everything would be without this. Without the dinner. Without my parents. Without all of it.

James squeezed my leg under the table. “Doll, what’s wrong?” he whispered in my ear, tickling me with his whiskers.

I plastered a smile on my face and stabbed my fork into the seven-layer lasagna that had so much stuff in it I wondered how it stayed upright. “Nothing, babe.”

His grip tightened because I couldn’t pull off a fake smile to save my life. “You look like you lost your best friend.”

“Everything’s fine. We’ll talk about it later,” I said before shoving a slice of the cheesy noodle goodness into my mouth, basically ending the conversation. But James kept his hand firmly planted on my knee.

If something happened to my ma, I would lose my best friend. Although I was a daddy’s girl to the core, my ma had always been my tether to the important things in life. She didn’t spoil me with false compliments or give in to my whims. She forced me to be who I was and made no apologies along the way.

“How’s the shop?” Pop asked like he did every Sunday.

“Good. Busier than ever. We’re actually talking about hiring someone new,” Mike said between mouthfuls of lasagna.

I cringed because that news hadn’t gone over so well last night, and I was sure no one had bothered to talk about it, thinking I’d put an end to it before the ball started rolling.

“Izzy set up an interview with the girl for next week,” Mike said, without realizing every female in the room besides me and my ma had stopped eating and were glaring at him.

“Oh, she did, did she?” Max stabbed at her meatball, snarling at me as she spoke. “What’s her name?”

“Kat.” Mike snapped his fingers, forgetting her name for the fiftieth time since I’d brought him the portfolio. “East.”

“West,” Joe corrected him. “I think you took one too many hits to the head. Your memory is shit lately.”

He took the words right out of my mouth. Mike had never been a list-writer or even that smart, but he usually remembered everything. His fighting career hadn’t lasted that long, thankfully, or else he’d probably be mumbling nonsense somewhere in a facility that dealt with memory issues. The glory of being an MMA champ wasn’t worth losing your marbles, and he already didn’t have any extra to spare.

“Yeah. Kat West.” Mike smiled, chewing his food with his mouth open.

“Smart business move,” Pop said. “Always best to prepare for the future of the company.”

The girls were chomping at the bit to say something, I could tell when I looked around the table. But they weren’t going to say anything contradictory to my father’s words. They knew why we had to hire someone; they just weren’t happy that the person was going to have a set of tits attached.

I watched over Mike’s shoulder as the children ate outside on the lanai, preferring to be out of earshot as they talked and mostly played instead of eating. They were a mighty crew, requiring a table just as big as the dining room one we sat at to eat outside. Between the entire bunch, there were eleven children, but at times, it felt more like thirty. My parents never seemed to care how loud or rambunctious the kids got, unlike when we were little.

The women sat in relative silence for the rest of the dinner as the guys talked sports and business. Our minds were filled with the knowledge that my mother was going for a biopsy tomorrow and a general unease about the new chick, even though she hadn’t even been hired yet. She could be the most boring and unattractive human being ever born, but it still didn’t sit well with the girls.

After we cleared the table and washed every dish, I relaxed on a chaise around the pool while the kids chased each other in circles, screaming so loud I waited for the police to get a noise complaint.

“What’s wrong, doll?” James asked as he slid behind me and pulled me against his warm, hard body. “Something’s off.”

I curled into him, needing his secure embrace to help calm my frayed nerves. “It’s my mom, James.”

He peppered soft kisses along my neck and caused goose bumps to break out across my skin. “Is she okay?”

“She’s going for a biopsy tomorrow.”

His arms tightened, and he held me closer, bringing his lips next to my ear. “She’ll be okay, Izzy. Don’t panic.”

“How can you be so sure?” I whispered in a haze as I watched the kids lost in their own happy world.

“My mom had one last year, and it was nothing. It’s better to find out and catch it early, yeah?”

His words shocked me. He’d never told me that his mother was going in to have a biopsy. I couldn’t believe he’d kept that to himself. But then again, he was a man, and he handled shit differently from me.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I stroked the top of his hand with my fingertips, moving across every dip and ridge of it.

“I didn’t want you to worry, doll. Why don’t you go with your mom so you feel more in control?”

“I plan on it. I can’t not be there for her.”

“Whatever makes you happy. Remember I’m always here to talk about it. I love you.”

He held me tightly, staring at our kids as they ran in circles, doing cannonballs in the deep end and practically flooding the lanai. We sat like that for a long while, not speaking to each other, just being in that moment.

“James, get your ass in here. It’s bottom of the ninth,” Anthony yelled out the sliding glass doors, stealing our moment.

“Go,” I told him, giving his hand a pat. “I’ll be fine. I have the girls to talk to.”

They were sitting at the table on the other side of the lanai, chatting about all kinds of nonsense that I had tuned out. I could no longer remove myself from their conversation and sulk on my own without James at my side. My mother would drag me over kicking and screaming if I didn’t get my ass in gear and my head on straight.

James gave me a long, slow kiss that made my toes curl, and it made everything, including the noisy kids, evaporate before he pulled away. “I have something tonight that’ll make you forget everything,” he said with a sly grin.

“Other than narcotics? Because that’s the point I’m at, Jimmy.”

He laughed softly, lifting me off the ground and letting my body slide down his, feeling all his hardness. “I have something better than drugs, baby.”

“I look forward to the challenge, big boy.”

I didn’t want to burst his bubble, but I wasn’t even sure his mighty cock would get my mind off my mother. I’d let him try, though. Because I wasn’t a quitter, goddamn it.

After James walked inside, I sat down next to my mother and grabbed the bottle of Jack that I’d set out earlier and poured myself a drink.

“Get that sappy shit out of your system, yet?” Ma asked.

“Ma.”

“No, Izzy. Listen to me.”

I turned to face her, giving her my full attention because I wanted to hear her pearls of wisdom, and she was going to give them to me whether I wanted to hear them or not.

“Don’t worry yourself sick. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. The doctor is confident that even if it is cancerous, it’s easily beatable. I plan to be around for many, many years. Stop putting my ass in the grave before I’m ready. Ya hear?”

“Izzy. Listen to your mother,” Aunt Fran said, giving me a stern look. “She’s fine. We’re all fine. Get your mind off things. Climb that beautiful man of yours tonight and forget about everything else.”

Suzy spat out her Coca-Cola as Fran told me to climb James. “I can’t,” Suzy laughed, trying to wipe away the mess she’d made.

“Come on. If I were young again, I’d give him a run for his money.”

“Aunt Fran,” Mia gasped and shook her head.

Angel cocked her head and raised an eyebrow. “You know, Bear’s not an old man Fran. I hear about some of the crazy shit you two…”

“Don’t.” I held up my hands. “I don’t want to hear about old-people sex.”

“Um,” Max muttered and gave me a crooked smile. “We’re getting pretty fucking old ourselves.”

“Speak for yourself.” I twisted my lips and groped my breasts. “These are not the breasts of an old lady.”

“That’s Victoria’s Secret padding, and they’re not as perky as they once were,” Suzy told me, which caught me completely off guard because she was always the nice one.

“Aren’t those bras the best?” Angel asked, pinching at the sides of her breasts, which looked spot-on and spectacular. “They’ve saved me from looking like an old hag for way too many years.”

“Oh, please,” I scoffed. “Your tits are always amazing.”

Pop walked out, cheering about the Cubs like a proud peacock and like he had something to do with their win. “Did I interrupt?” he asked as all conversation ceased as soon as he walked onto the lanai.

“Talking about tits,” Aunt Fran told him, crossing her arms over hers and waiting for his response.

He didn’t say a word. Just strutted back into the living room, closing the sliding door behind him and going back to the guys and the safety of sports talk as opposed to our conversation.

The table erupted into laughter because the look on his face was priceless. Although my dad loved to tease, he didn’t want to get into a conversation about breasts with the girls in his life, and we all knew it, including Fran, who just wanted him to leave us alone and not have to hear any more about the Cubs being winners.

“That’ll teach him.” Aunt Fran smiled.

I knew exactly how she felt. There was nothing like making your brother so uncomfortable and forcing him to slink away to put a smile on your face. She was the master, though, since she had more years perfecting it with my father than I did with my brothers.

“So let’s talk about this Kat woman,” Max said, and that was the end of the fun. She pulled out her phone and started typing away, looking more like Anthony at that given moment.

“What’s she look like?” Suzy asked, twirling the straw of her Coke against her tongue. “Is she young?”

“What’s the problem, ladies?” Ma asked, drawing her eyebrows downward.

“They’re worried some young, hot thing is going to try to steal their man.” I rolled my eyes at the sheer stupidity.

“That’s ridiculous,” Ma said, and finally, I felt vindicated.

“But,” Mia started to say when my mother shushed her.

“My boys love each one of you with every fiber of their being. There’s no woman who’ll make any difference or catch their eye when a man is truly in love with a woman. If you’re concerned that someone is going to try to take your place, maybe you need to look in the mirror and see if there’s something you’re not doing that could put the relationship at risk.”

Max smacked her lips together like she’d sucked on a lemon. “I’m not giving him anal.”

Suzy snorted, and Aunt Mar almost fell off her chair laughing at Max’s statement. My stomach rolled because the last thing I wanted to picture was Anthony fucking Max, especially in the ass.

“Max, doll, I didn’t mean to give him that. I’m just saying that you ladies have nothing to worry about.” Somehow Ma kept a straight face because Lord knows, the rest of us couldn’t. “Don’t project your insecurities onto your husbands and this new employee.” Ma looked directly at Max and, with a tiny smile, said, “If you’re worried, try a little harder in the bedroom, without the ass, of course.”

“Oh, what’s wrong with a little ass play?” Aunt Fran asked and shrugged. “Keep the man happy. You never know, Max, you may like it.”

Moments like these… God, I loved my family. We were the wackiest fucking bunch I knew, and if an outsider were here, they’d probably say we should all have our heads examined. What family talked like this to each other? Mine, of course. I wouldn’t have it any other way either. There wasn’t a person in this house I didn’t love, and I couldn’t imagine life without them.

“Suzy, do you like it in the ass?” Max asked Suzy, putting her right in her cross hairs.

Suzy’s chair scraped against the cement pavers, and she scrambled to her feet. “I hear Joe calling me,” she said before she disappeared inside.

“You’re rotten, Max.” Angel smacked Max’s arm and laughed. “It’s why I love you most.”

“Well, I love Mia the most. She’s the best one out of all of us bitches,” I said.

I did love Mia. Maybe not the most because I couldn’t pick one over the other, but her calm equaled out my crazy. It’s why we worked. She’d always had her shit together since the moment I met her, and I loved spending time with her. Just like earlier when she’d pulled me into the dining room, there wasn’t a time when Mia wasn’t there for me, and I’d love her forever for being my wing-girl on the crazy train.