It was strange sitting with Jeff and talking like no time had passed, Alicia thought. So much time had passed. She’d forgotten how fun it was to tease him. She’d forgotten a lot of things, and just spending the past hour with him had brought a lot of it back. The way he bit his bottom lip when he considered a serious question. The way he watched her so closely. The way he seemed unbothered to take time out of his day to drive her around and just hang out. Memories of what he was like as a boy and teenager came flooding back.
That had all gotten mixed up somewhere around their junior year in high school when their bodies and hormones had made both of them topsy-turvy. Alicia could admit her part in things now, and looking back, she knew she was probably one moody girl during those years. Jeff had always been able to coax a laugh out of her, though, just like he had today.
When he told her about the first time he’d come to this cleared field and tried to feed some deer, yet was chased by a buck, Alicia couldn’t help but laugh. He hadn’t been wearing boots, so his dress shoes had sent him tumbling into the snow.
“I think the buck felt sorry for me when he saw how clumsy I was,” Jeff said with a broad smile. His blue eyes seemed to soak her in, and she felt a flutter in her stomach that she promptly ignored. “He decided to turn away and leave me alone after that. No use kicking a man when he’s down.”
Alicia laughed, and she realized how good it felt to laugh. He hadn’t asked her again why she’d been crying, besides the first mistaken assumption that it was over him, and for that she was grateful. Out here, in nature, and watching a vibrant orange sunset helped her put the issues with her mother in perspective. What if, she wondered, what if her mom was doing the best she could and even though her best seemed extremely weak, it was all that she was capable of?
“Look,” Jeff said, interrupting her train of thought. “They’re coming out now.”
Sure enough, Alicia spotted some deer separating from the line of trees and emerging onto the meadow. Jeff turned off the engine of his SUV, and everything went absolutely quiet.
The deer were beautiful creatures, elegant as they traveled together, and Alicia counted fifteen of them. “It’s like a whole herd,” she whispered, thinking if she spoke any louder, the deer would somehow hear and be spooked. “Where’s your buck?”
Jeff gave a quiet laugh. “I think he’s long gone by now.”
Alicia nodded and settled deeper into her coat. The air in the SUV had started to cool already. She felt comfortable with Jeff, as if it hadn’t been ten years since they’d talked. “My mother has become a hoarder,” she said in a quiet voice as she watched the deer bend their heads to eat.
Jeff looked over at her. “A hoarder? As in, she collects stuff?”
“More than that,” Alicia said, meeting his gaze. “She won’t throw anything away. She orders stuff online all of the time with her alimony from my dad and the disability she’s gotten from the state when she lost her job last year. She doesn’t leave the house anymore. We got into a fight about this today because I threw away thirty-year-old hot pads.”
Jeff blinked. “They must have been really important to her.”
Alicia hadn’t expected this response. She’d expected him to be shocked about the deterioration of her mom. “They were a wedding present. But in my defense, they were so ruined I couldn’t even wash them.”
Jeff leaned his head back and exhaled. “Is your mom why you came back to Pine Valley?”
Alicia nodded, feeling the tears burn her eyes again. She wouldn’t let herself cry a second time on Jeff’s shoulder. She drew in a shaky breath, then told him everything. The good, the bad, the ugly. How her mother was nearly arrested. How her father wanted Alicia to move on with her life and leave her mom’s care to the state system—which would probably end up in jail time because of her habit of sorting through the neighborhood trash. How she didn’t love having to work as a restaurant hostess and waste her college degree in business marketing.
At that confession, Jeff stopped her. “You have a marketing degree?”
“Yep,” she said. “I thought about looking about town for a job, but working in the evenings is actually better than dealing with my mom. She takes late naps, and so she’s asleep most of the time I’m gone, which means she can get into less trouble.”
“You mean she can collect less of the neighbors’ garbage?”
“Yeah,” Alicia said. “The whole neighborhood knows about it, and it’s like everyone is watching for her. I swear I feel them staring out their windows at me when I’m outside.”
“That must be rough,” Jeff said. “I had no idea your mom was having such a hard time.”
Alicia shrugged. “No one does, not even Gwen.” When she saw the questioning look on Jeff’s face, she added. “Gwen’s my friend at the restaurant.”
“Ah, that’s right,” he said. “I saw a picture of the both of you on Facebook.”
“What?”
Jeff’s face reddened, and Alicia decided not to find that adorable.
“I, uh, I sent you a friend request after I saw you last night,” he continued. “I wanted to find a way to apologize.”
Alicia pulled out her phone. She hadn’t been on Facebook today, and she opened the app. “There’s your request.” She looked over at him, and he gave her a hopeful smile. Alicia laughed, then clicked “confirm.”
“It’s official,” Jeff said. “We’re friends.”
She smiled. “It’s official.”
Jeff laughed, and Alicia wanted to capture that laugh and let it wash over her when she’d need it the most.
His phone rang, and he glanced at it.
“You can get it,” she said. “I mean, I’ve kept you long enough from work.” She hadn’t meant to look at the screen on his phone, but when she saw the name Paige, Alicia had the impression it wasn’t a work call.
“Uh, it’s not work,” Jeff said, staring at the phone like he was in a trance.
“Oh, your girlfriend.” Alicia waved at the phone. “Seriously, you can answer it. I won’t make a peep.”
But the phone had stopped ringing.
“Do you want to call her back?”
Jeff finally met her gaze. “Paige and I have been dating, but it’s not all that serious,” he said, his tone sounding uncomfortable.
His phone started ringing again, and Alicia couldn’t help but look at the screen. Paige, again.
“Hang on,” Jeff said, opening his door and jumping out. He shut the door, then answered his phone.
Alicia might have felt offended that he didn’t want her to overhear his conversation, but it wasn’t really any of her business. She and Jeff were just becoming reacquainted, and while she’d told him some personal things about her mom, they really didn’t know each other. So what did she expect? It was nearly dark, and the deer were moving back into the trees to find their warm copse for the night.
She watched Jeff pace in the packed snow, his breath looking like white smoke. He didn’t look happy. Paige seemed to be a high-maintenance woman, and Alicia wondered what Jeff saw in her besides her obviously perfect looks. Alicia knew she shouldn’t judge. It wasn’t like her own life was all that great. And maybe Paige was an amazing person beneath her immaculate veneer.
But watching Jeff pace, and the tense set of his broad shoulders, made her wonder if things weren’t how they seemed between Jeff and Paige. Even beautiful people had problems, she decided.
Jeff walked back toward the SUV, apparently off his phone call with Paige. He opened the door and climbed in, then started the ignition. When he didn’t put the SUV into drive, Alicia said, “Is everything all right?”
He didn’t say anything for a minute. Then he looked over at her, and Alicia could clearly see the stress on his face. “Not really,” he said at last. “We broke up.”
Alicia blinked. “Just now?”
He gave a slow nod. “At least, I think so.” He leaned his head against the seat and closed his eyes.
Alicia looked away from his handsome, but tortured profile. Had he been in love with Paige? Had she dumped him, or was it the other way around? Or were they one of those on-again, off-again couples?
“I’m sorry,” she said, because no matter which way the break-up happened, it would still be an emotional drain.
“Me too.” He opened his eyes and put the SUV into drive. He drove across the clearing, then along the groomed trail. When they reached the parking lot, it was empty, and he picked up speed as they pulled onto the canyon road.
Alicia didn’t dare press for more details about Paige or the break-up; it wasn’t like they were best friends anymore. She wondered what would happen after he dropped her off at her house. Would he ask for her number? Would they keep in touch? Or would their friendship be reduced to liking each other’s pictures on social media?
The thought made her feel numb. The past couple of hours with Jeff had been cathartic. And it was all about to end. He was obviously going through some drama, and she had no right to put her burdens on him.
Although the heater of the SUV quickly warmed up the interior, Alicia stayed burrowed in her coat, keeping herself isolated from a rush of past feelings. Feelings of protectiveness of Jeff, feelings of wanting to spend more time with him, feelings of what it was like to have a best friend. She had to forget all of that, and the sooner, the better.