ADEN

Stumbling through the door to Celia’s place, I tell my body to calm the fuck down but my hands aren’t receiving the message. I don’t want to scare her away by pawing at her like a teenage boy. This isn’t a drunken fumble-fuck where we both race to the finish line. I want to go slow, make her feel cherished. It’s what a girl like Celia needs, and I can give her what she needs.

I want to erase the anguish I recognize in her eyes. That look is one I see in the mirror daily, and though she may not be happy about being my distraction, I’m fucking eager as shit to be hers.

She drops her keys on the coffee table and the sound serves as a big fat green light. I pounce.

She squeaks as I bury my hands in her hair and delve into a kiss that has my pulse pounding in my ears. Her mouth is warm and sweet and the whisper of perfume from her skin is a buffet for my senses.

Walking backward, I guide her through a maze of boxes and piles of things that need to be packed until we’re at the doorway to her bedroom. I can’t pull my lips from hers, so I pop open an eye and spot the bed. Pressing her back and down, she grips my biceps as I lower her to the mattress. I follow her down, making sure to hold up my weight to avoid crushing her.

“Where’s the light?” I whisper between breaths. “I want to see you.”

She motions to the bedside table and, reaching over her, I click on the lamp. It’s dim, but it’s enough that when I peer down at her she blushes. Actually fucking blushes. The last girl I was with who blushed was my high school girlfriend. I brush my thumb along her cheek. “What’s this for?”

She shakes her head and turns away, her skin growing brighter, and fuck if her modesty isn’t a damn aphrodisiac. “I’m not used to feeling like this.”

“Embarrassed?”

“No.” Her head turns back to me and she meets my eyes. “Out of control.”

I nip at her lips, needing to feel them. “When was the last time you felt out of control?”

Her breath hitches as I kiss down her chin to her neck. “Th-the boat. Fishing.”

I blink and pull back, studying her. “And the time before that?”

Another furious blush. “So long ago that I don’t remember.”

I can’t help the slow grin that spreads across my face because it feels fucking fantastic to be the only person who’s made her feel wild. “And I’m only getting started.”

Her muscles tense and I don’t miss the flash of panic in her eyes.

“We don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for. I’m content to kiss you all night if that’s what you want.” I push her hair off her face and kiss the tip of her nose. “When was the last time you had sex?”

Her nose crinkles up and she turns away from me only to have me gently maneuver her face back to mine. “Don’t get shy now, freckles.”

“I lived with my ex just days before I came to San Diego.”

I try to hold back my surprise, but that was not the answer I was expecting.

“We were having problems long before we broke up so sex wasn’t something—”

I press my thumb to her lips. “This isn’t couples therapy, I don’t need the details. Just a number.” I release her mouth but run the pad of my thumb along her thick lower lip and resist the urge to bite it as punishment for giving herself to some dickwad douchebag who didn’t appreciate what he had.

“A month.”

“What the fuck is wrong with that guy? Having you under his roof, sleeping in his bed, he doesn’t touch you for a month?”

“He wasn’t the type—”

I cover her lips with mine and finally sink my teeth into her plump lip. She whimpers and her nails bite into my skin. “No more talk of that idiot.”

“Okay.” She breathes out hard and her entire body turns to jelly beneath me.

“I want you, but we’ll take it at your pace.” I lean in and kiss her until she’s squirming beneath me. Her hands slide up my side, nails dragging along my ribs, and my hips jack forward of their own will.

I break the kiss just long enough to pull my shirt off over my head. Her gaze slides over my chest, down my abdomen, and widen at the bulge behind my pants. Hunger flares in her eyes and a slow smile curls my lips. Something tells me her pace will be faster than I thought.

We are a tangle of arms and legs, tongues and teeth, and before I’m even aware of what’s going on she’s slipping her tank top over her head. I follow her freckles down to her breasts where they disappear behind the black fabric of her strapless bra. I fist my hands to keep from helping her as she reaches behind her back and unhooks the bra before letting it fall to the bed.

Oh God, those gorgeous specks of color are everywhere and I plan to taste every, fucking, one.

I pull her lips back to mine and absorb the feeling of her bare breasts pressed against me. My heart hammers against my ribs and I have a brief moment of insecurity wondering if she can feel how affected I am by her touch.

Even if we’re using each other as a distraction, what a sweet fucking distraction this is.

I cup her ass, grinding against her and wanting so badly to feel her completely naked and bared to me. Her body is soft and round in all the right places and all my blood rushes between my legs until I’m painfully aroused.

She rolls her hips against me, the motion so erotic it makes me light-headed. A soft whimper vibrates up from her throat.

“You good, baby?” I whisper against her lips.

“No.”

What? I pull back to see her face only to find her eyelids heavy and her mouth curved up into a seductive grin.

“I want more.”

Sweetest words I’ve ever heard.

SAWYER

I can’t believe how bold I’m being. But I can’t help but feel like Aden’s holding us back.

It’s not that I don’t appreciate him thinking I need to take things slowly, I do. And this is without a doubt the hottest make-out session I’ve ever had and probably, I’d venture to guess, in the history of the world, but it’s starting to feel like the world’s worst tease.

My skin is practically vibrating, my body aching, and my legs falling open just to get him closer to me.

I reach down and rub him over his jeans and groan when I feel just how much he wants me too. I pop the buttons of his fly and he must take that as an open invitation to do the same to mine. My jeans are tight, but he manages to slide his big hand between my legs just as I grip him over his boxers.

Our breath mingles as we pant in unison while stroking each other.

“I’m not the type of man who begs.” He hisses through his teeth when I grip him tighter. “But I’m begging, please, let me fuck you.”

His dirty mouth has me clenching down around his fingers. “Aden . . .”

“I can feel you want it as bad as I do, freckles. Tell me I’m wrong.”

“I can’t.”

With a growl he flips us so he’s holding himself over me. Pushing up to his knees, I lose his hand, but keep my grip on him. His abs contract with every pump of my fist as he watches me pleasure him.

Mark and I always made love in the dark under the sheets. After our faces were washed and our teeth were brushed, and after the evening news. It was like clockwork. Safe. Predictable. Everything I thought I needed. I’ve never been with someone like Aden, someone so overtly sexual and open about wanting to see everything that happens between us. It’s the most arousing thing I’ve ever experienced.

“You like to watch.”

His eyes slide from the vee of his open fly, up my bare torso, dance between my less than impressive breasts, my lips, then he stares me in the eyes. “I like watching with you.”

“Why?”

He bites his bottom lip while toying with my nipples. “Mmm . . . ’cause I don’t ever want to forget a single detail. Don’t even like closing my eyes when I kiss you.”

“You’re sweet.”

“I’m not.” He leans over me and flicks my breasts with his tongue, making me arch off the bed. “You’re sweet. So fucking sweet.”

He shifts off me to stand at the end of the bed. With a little help from me, he manages to peel my jeans off until I’m lying completely naked and exposed. His eyes devour me while he fishes in his back pocket and pulls out a condom. He drops his jeans and kicks them off, then hands me the foil packet. “I want to watch you roll it on. Nice and slow.”

I scramble to my knees and do exactly what he asked, thinking I’d never found condoms the least bit sexy before, but somehow Aden makes protection placement feel like foreplay.

The room is quiet except for the sound of our eager breaths and the occasional moan as I slide the condom over him. Being this close I start to wonder what he’d taste like there and craving the salty—

I’m pushed back to the bed and he follows me down.

“You lickin’ those lips while staring at my dick is going to make it impossible for me to go slow.”

“I don’t want to go slow.”

He pulls back and now it’s his turn to smile in a devilish way that has all my insides clenching. “You’re a constant surprise, you know that?”

“Yeah.” Because damn, I’m surprising myself!

With that one word he pushes between my legs and enters me with the care and consideration of a tender lover.

“You good?” He kisses me softly and rests his forehead against mine.

I nod frantically. “Are you?”

He laughs and starts to move, picking up his pace with every deep, consuming thrust. “Better than ever.”

Our bodies move in unison, as if they were designed to work together for the simple act of bringing the other immeasurable pleasure. What I think will be rough and animalistic ends up being sensual. He worships me with touch and whispered words while we move together in perfect rhythm. Like some sexual shaman he manages to arouse not only my body but my mind and soul. Electrified with sensation he grips my hair tightly at the roots, awakening every nerve. “You’re so beautiful.”

“Aden . . . I don’t . . . I can’t hang on—”

“Shhh . . .” He licks at the seam of my lips. “Don’t hang on. Let go.”

I bite my lip to keep quiet as my back arches off the bed. My nails dig into Aden’s shoulders as what feels like a thousand stars explode beneath my skin. He falls forward and groans into my neck. His body crushes mine in a delicious weight that keeps me grounded while the aftershocks of my release threaten to send me sailing.

After a few minutes of what seems like synchronized breathing he pushes up, presses a kiss to the tip of my nose, and peels himself off me to go to the bathroom.

I stare at the bamboo fan spinning above the bed, following one blade with my eye and hoping that doing so will manage to untangle my thoughts.

I just slept with a virtual stranger.

Someone I’m not in a serious relationship with.

Someone I know nothing about.

Why do I feel so good? My heart is still racing, my thigh muscles tingling with exertion, and this stupid grin on my face won’t go away no matter how many times I try to force it.

“You look happy.” His voice sounds just seconds before the bed dips and the heat of his body hits mine as he gathers me to his side.

“Happy is an understatement.” My grin widens and I’m glad my cheek is pressed to Aden’s chest so he can’t see it.

“I hear that.” He yawns and turns the light off.

My pulse quickens. Is he spending the night? I assumed he’d get dressed, grab his phone and make some excuse for having to leave like I’ve seen happen in the movies after a one-night stand. What I didn’t expect was for him to hold me close, run his fingers through my hair, and . . . doze off?

I wonder how often he does this kind of thing. As handsome as he is, I’d guess he does this often. Thinking on that is another brutal reminder that I know zero about this guy. My naked body is pressed against his, and he could have a freakin’ girlfriend for all I know.

I chew my lip as unease seeps into my chest, pushing away my good mood. Surely if he had a girlfriend I’d know. Right? What if he has a wife? Kids? What if he’s a felon? What do I really know about this guy? How stupid could I—

“The fact that you’re able to think so hard I can fucking feel it tells me I didn’t do my job.” There’s humor in his voice, but I still stop breathing hoping to hide how right he is.

“Your job?”

He traces patterns on my hip. “To take your mind off things.”

“You definitely took my mind off things.” Pretty sure I had an out-of-body experience at one point. “Now I’m thinking about other things.”

“Like?”

I swallow and pull up whatever’s left of my courage, then tilt my chin up to look at him. “I’ve never slept with a stranger before.”

He frowns, looking almost offended, and I’m reminded of how terrible I am at post-orgasm pillow talk. “I’m a stranger, am I?”

“I just don’t know that much about you and I have my naked body wrapped around yours.”

He clears his throat and looks up at the ceiling fan. I’m about to tell him it’s a waste of time, that the damn thing has no answers, when he starts talking.

“I was born in Santa Barbara. Played football, was pretty decent at it, got a scholarship to play at Washington State, but my dad was Army, my granddad was Army, all my uncles were too, so I gave up football and enlisted one week after I graduated high school.”

Giving up college for war? “Why would . . . I mean, you didn’t fight your dad on that?”

“I didn’t want to fight it. I wanted to go. I was raised to believe the most honorable thing a man could do was serve his country.”

“But what about your education?”

“I got an education in the Army. What I learned in the military was more valuable than anything I’d learn going to college. I liked football, but there was no guarantee I’d go pro. Knowing our country needed men, that we were fighting to protect innocent people, to ensure freedom, football paled in comparison to all that.”

I guess I understand. “You mentioned you have a sister, are you two close?”

“Not anymore.” He clears his throat. “She’s married, has two kids.”

“I’m sure they love having you back.”

His body stiffens at my side. “I, uh . . . I don’t see them much.”

“Why?”

“I came back and they all looked at me like they didn’t know me. They wanted answers I wouldn’t give and the more they pushed the more I shut down.”

“Why not just answer their questions?” I’m not one hundred percent sure what we’re talking about, but I fear we’re breaching the subject of his military life and I promised him I’d stay away from it.

He’s quiet for a few beats. “I refuse to bleed on the people I love.”

I stare blindly at the wall in front of me, all too familiar with how difficult it is for family to see a loved one struggling with something and not being able to help them through it.

“What about you? Tonight, Polly mentioned you had a sister.” He’s trying to change the subject from him to me; it’s what I would do in his shoes. But I can’t tell him about Celia, about how hurt I am that she’d share my ugliest secrets with people she hardly knew.

“I do.”

“What’s wrong with her?”

“Nothing!”

He raises his eyebrows.

“I mean . . .” I rub my forehead. “She’s not as bad as Polly made her seem. She’s not agoraphobic.”

I roll to my back and he pushes up on his elbow looking down at me. Silence stretches between us until it becomes suffocating.

“She thinks she may have killed our grandmother when we were kids.”

“How does a child kill her grandmother?”

“She gave her the flu. Complications of that caused her death and I guess ever since she got weird about . . . stuff.”

“Stuff like . . .?”

“She became much more aware of germs, that’s all. More than what they considered normal. After high school she spiraled a little but she’s better now.” I pick at the edge of my fingernail. “She’s mostly better now.”

“Are you two close?”

I shut my eyes and bite back the swell of emotion building in my chest.

“Celia?”

I jerk in his hold hearing him call me by my sister’s name.

He squeezes me closer, probably interpreting my reaction as meaning something different. “All right. Enough of this shit, you up for a little adventure?”

Yes, please. Enough. Wait, did he say adventure?

I peek up at him and he must sense the question in my stare.

He jumps from the bed bare-ass naked and heads to the bathroom. I prop myself up on my elbows to admire the view of his very firm backside and I frown when he returns with a towel wrapped around his waist and one in his hand. He tosses it to me. “Come on, get up and wrap that around you.”

I sit up and the sheet falls down around my hips so I cover with the towel and scoot to the edge of the bed. “Why?”

“I have an idea.” He holds out his hand and I take it.

I barely have the thing secured and tucked around me when he drags me through the cottage to the front door. “Whoa.” I dig my heels into the shag rug. “I’m not going outside like this.”

“Why not? It’s dark, no one will know you don’t have a bathing suit under there. Plus . . .” He swings open the door and guides me out. “No one’s around anyway.”

I lean back and really push my heels into the ground but it’s pointless, he’s too strong, and if I fight any harder I might lose my towel. “Aden,” I hiss through clenched teeth. “Where are we going?”

He doesn’t answer me with words, but soon we’re at the top step of the staircase that leads down the cliffs to a small beach.

My mind scrambles as I stumble behind him down the stairs.

Naked.

Towels.

Beach.

He’s not expecting me to swim, is he?

Panic flares in full force and I really put the brakes on this time by dropping down to sit my ass on the cold concrete step. If he expects me to get into that water he’s going to have to pick me up and carry me.

He whirls around, studies my seated position, then shrugs before leaning in and putting his shoulder into my stomach. He scoops me off the step and hoists me up. “Aden, no, put me down!”

“Stop yelling or someone will call the cops.”

He jogs down the remaining few steps and the cold ocean air hits my bare butt, making my entire body flash with the heat of a red-hot blush. “Good! We’ll need the cops to pull what’s left of our naked bodies from the ocean after a shark kills us!”

I squeal when he jerks to a stop and drops me back down to my feet. The movement takes my towel and I scramble to cover my body when Aden stills my hands. “Don’t.”

“Are you crazy?” I spit through clenched teeth.

The corner of his lips pull up into that lopsided smile I’m starting to like more than I should. “Would it scare you if I was?”

I look deep into his eyes, unsure of how to answer his question. His crazy scares me, there’s no denying that. But it also makes me feel more alive than I ever have. “A little.”

He rewards me with a slow soft kiss and just as I tilt my head to get more he pulls away and leaves me pouting. “Lose the towel.”

“You first.”

He steps back and drops the terrycloth. Every ridge of his muscles catches the moonlight, making it look as if he’s cut from stone.

“Your turn.”

His voice brings me away from his impressive thighs and I shake my head. “I can’t . . . I don’t know . . . Shit!”

“What is it?” This time there’s no teasing in his voice, just pure concern.

“I’m not a great swimmer and I’ve seen one too many shark movies to feel comfortable in the ocean at all, let alone at night.”

He pulls me to his chest, tilts my chin up so he can look me in the eye. “You think I’d ever let anything happen to you?”

“I don’t think you have any power over whether or not something hurts me.”

He flinches as if my words delivered a physical blow. “Ouch.”

“Ya know how most people think things would never happen to them? I’m the other girl.” I’m rambling, my nerves making my lips move faster than my brain can keep up with. “I’m the kind of girl these things always happen to. If there’s danger out there it’ll find me, trust that.”

“This coming from the same girl who ran with bulls and pet a damn lion like it was a kitten.”

Oh shit.

A wave of heat washes over me from the top of my skull to the backs of my legs with the realization of what I’ve done. I forgot. “I . . .” I close my mouth, my emotions scrambling to come up with a justifiable excuse.

“You’ll be fine, now dig deep for that adventurous girl I know lives inside you.” He winks and pries my hands off the towel to get it loose from my body and tosses it aside. In an attempt to hide from any and every one, I hug myself to him, pressing into his muscles and hoping to disappear. He wraps me in his arms and for a moment we stand there holding on to each other.

“See, isn’t this nice. Wouldn’t you rather just stay here like this?”

He nuzzles my ear. “Nice try.”

Grabbing my hand, he leads me down the beach to the water’s edge. The cool waves hit our feet and send me stepping back as far as I can while still holding his hand. He looks at me as if to gauge my fear, but remembering who I am, who I’m supposed to be, I just smile back.

“It’s cold.” My voice trembles with anxiety, but I can’t deny the butterflies of anticipation that swarm in my chest at the thought of taking a risk, trying something new, and coming out on the other side alive. It would be a huge victory against the fear that shackles me. I allow him to lead me out into the breaking waves until we’re about thigh level.

“You good?”

“I can’t believe I’m doing this.” The last word ends on a high-pitched squeal that surprises even me.

He chuckles and leads me farther out into the waves. Something brushes against my leg and I jump and cling to him. He holds me close and hums in his throat as his hands cup my backside. “Scared?”

I look up at him and get lost in the warmth of his gaze. “No. I feel safe with you.”

“Yeah?” His lips part and his breath dances across my lips. “So I’m not a stranger anymore.”

“No.” I run my hands up the back of his neck into his hair and slide against his hard body. “You make me feel like I can do anything.”

His eyebrows drop low and his jaw ticks. “And you make me forget.”

“Forget what—”

His lips devour mine and all my concerns melt away until all that’s left is Aden.