Cedric pretended not to notice the exchange as a guy I knew swapped the bag in his hand for cash. He didn’t bother counting it, and I didn’t bother checking the bag, just shoved it into the inner pocket of my jacket and went back to sipping on my beer.

Dominick, though, pinned me with a hard look. “If your family finds out that idiot is selling to you, they’ll hunt him down and cut his dick off.”

“Selling what?” I met his eyes over the rim of the beer and gave him an innocent look.

Dominick shook his head and grabbed his own bottle. “Don’t play dumb with me, Sean. You know what will happen. You saw it firsthand the last time.”

I curled my lip and looked away.

Declan must have been watching me. He’d shown up at the worst possible time, and I had no illusion that it had happened by accident. I’d just bought some weed. It wasn’t like I was snorting cocaine twenty-four/seven.

No sooner had the transaction been made than Declan and three of the men that worked for him came around the corner of the alley. Declan had gestured to the men, and they came up, surrounding me. One of them had deftly taken the marijuana while the others positioned themselves at my side.

Declan had squared off with the guy who’d been trying to slip away unnoticed.

“I thought the family had made it clear…nobody is to sell him any drugs, Brett.”

“He’s a big boy, Declan.” Brett’s voice had been full of bravado, but it melted as Declan moved closer.

I’d intervened, but that was the only reason Brett hadn’t gotten his ass kicked.

Now the guy saw me and went the other direction.

Bit by bit, my family was cutting away at the net I’d built for myself, and it was pointless.

I smoked some marijuana now and then to help me sleep. It helped blunt the nightmares a little bit, especially if I had some booze to go with it, although I had to be careful just how much booze, otherwise I ended up sick as a dog. As long as I used caution between the two, I could sleep without seeing the car go up in flames—over and over.

None of my family could get that.

The nightmares still came all the time. It was November. Ten months had passed, and I could still hear that first, catastrophic boom, smell the acrid scent of smoke, feel the heat. There was still a dull ache in my chest, and it only got worse when I found myself lying in bed at night because I’d tried to pull Isabel’s face to mind, and although I could still remember that wide, wicked smile, other things were starting to go blurry.

Except for the fights.

Those were still vivid and sharp.

“Sean, you listening to me?”

I slanted a look over at Dominick. “You plan on telling Declan on me? Going to rat me out to my brother, Dom?”

“Hell, no.” His face twisted in a scowl, and I could see the truth in his eyes. He was being honest. “But that doesn’t mean they won’t find out.”

“Yeah, well, if they keep interfering, I’ll just move up to Canada or Colorado or someplace where I can just walk into a store and buy it legally. All I want to do is sleep at night.”

Dominick looked like he wanted to argue.

Cedrick reached out and punched Dominick lightly on the shoulder. “Let it go,” he advised before turning bright, sky-blue eyes on me. “My parents wanted to know if you’re planning anything for Thanksgiving.”

“My dad is having the family over.” I looked away.

I could feel his eyes on me anyway. “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean you’re planning on being part of that family gathering, right?”

Cedric was too damn smart for his own good. He always had been. Sometimes, I wondered how we were even friends, but we had been since college.

My eyes landed on a pretty server, clad in one of the black-and-white referee-styled shirts all the staff at the sports bar wore. She half-bent over a table to listen to somebody talking to her, and my eyes landed on the round curve of her ass. Nice.

Cedric said my name, and I looked over at him. “What?”

“Man, you’ve been smoking a little too much weed.” He rolled his eyes, but the humor in them softened the insult. A little. “I asked you if you were going over to your dad’s or not.”

I hitched up a shrug. I hadn’t thought about it one way or the other. Personally, I didn’t much give a damn what I did from one day to the next. It was all about getting through each day then trying to make it through the nights anymore.

“I don’t know. Why?”

“Because my mother wants me to invite you over if you don’t have plans.”

Cedric’s mom was one of the sweetest people I’d ever met. She was the kind who took home stray cats and nursed injured birds and gave money and food to the homeless people she saw on the streets. “I don’t know if I want to subject Miss Patty to my toxic personality, Ced,” I told him before taking a long drink.

The cute blonde had crossed back into my line of sight, and I realized she was working the tables in our section. We’d been here almost an hour, and a redhead with an annoying habit of snapping gum had been our server. Either the redhead was on break or had left for the day.

Dominick finally noticed my preoccupation and glanced back, gaze landing on the blonde. He sized her up with the eye of a pro and looked back at me.

“Don’t waste your time.” He made a snorting sound. “She’s too smart to fall for any of your lines.”

Cedric spotted her next, and a grin spread across his face. “Oh, she looks like a sweetheart.”

I scowled at both of them and resisted the urge to tell Cedric that I’d seen her first.

Instead, I drained my bottle of beer and reached for the menu. Even though I wasn’t particularly hungry, I figured I might as well have a reason to have her coming back to the table in a relatively short amount of time.

It took almost ten minutes for her to make her way to our table. By the time she had, both Cedric and Dominic had decided they were in the mood for something to eat and had finished going through the menu.

She appeared at our table, giving me the first good look at her face—and her front. Every bit as good from this view.

“Hi,” she said with an easy smile. “I’m Tish, and I’m taking over for Sam. Can I get you another round of drinks? An appetizer, maybe?”

A whoop of frenzied cheers rose up from the crowd inside the restaurant just then. Dominick joined in, his eyes on the nearest big screen TV. “Yeah!” he shouted, his fist pumping the air.

Tish, apparently used to it, smiled apologetically and waited until the noise faded back to a dull roar before repeating the question.

“I’ll take another one of these.” I tapped my bottle. “Some cheese fries…and maybe your phone number.” I said the last with a slow smile. It worked half the time.

Without blinking, she made a few rapid notes on the tablet she carried, then gave me a sweet smile. “I’m afraid I can’t help with the last one, but I’ll get right on the first two. What about you guys?”

Next to me, Cedric chuckled. Dominick acted completely unaware as he put in his order, although judging by the gleam in his eye, he wasn’t going to just let it pass.

Cedric had apparently decided against making a try for her, just putting in an order for a burger and another beer.

As she walked off, Dominick said, “I told you she was too smart for you, Sean.”

I flipped him off.

Three beers later, I tried one last time. My head was pounding, I was tired and ready to go home, but I definitely wasn’t interested in sleeping alone if I didn’t have to.

More often than not, I either stayed up and watched TV until my eyelids were too heavy, or I had a joint until I thought maybe I was relaxed enough to go without dreaming.

But lately, the dreams were getting worse, and I wanted something else to silence the noise in my head.

Tish put the ticket down in front of us, along with my credit card. “Don’t suppose you had second thoughts and put your number down on there, did you, sugar?”

“I knew I’d forgotten something.” She picked up the pen and scrawled something down, then turned the ticket toward me.

I groaned as I read the sorry scrawled under a big, happy smiley face.

“Figures,” I muttered as she walked away. Still, I gave her a big tip and rose. “I’m gonna head to the bathroom before I leave.”

As I was making my way back to our table, a cute brunette bumped into me.

Normally, I avoided brunettes these days. Especially tall, leggy ones with long hair. They reminded me too much of Isabel. The girl was Isabel’s exact opposite, save for the darkness of her hair. Isabel’s skin had been like gold-dusted ivory. This girl had the kind of pale skin that would burn to a crisp if she spent more than five minutes in the sun. Her lush curves all but spilled out of the short mini dress. The dark hair was cropped close and spiked up, leaving her heart-shaped face on display as she tipped her head back to smile at me.

“Well, hello there,” she said with a giggle. “I’m sorry. I didn’t step on your toes, did I?”

“No.”

She rested a hand on my arm. “You look really familiar.”

“Do I?”

As she sidled closer, the warmth of her body reached out to mine, and the interest in her eyes was impossible to miss.

Hell. She wasn’t the one I’d been hoping to spend the night with, but she was cute, and at least I wouldn’t have to be alone.