CHAPTER FOURTEEN
“WHY ARE YOU WEARING makeup?” Drew asked from behind the counter as I burst into the café on a warm Saturday in early June.
The last several weeks had been the best I’d had in ages. I’d settled into a new routine, one that involved spending more time with Noah than I probably should. Each Thursday, I made a point to meet him at the cemetery, where we watched whatever classic movie they were showing that evening. Occasionally, we made arrangements to run into each other at the Common, where we would eventually end up at the same ice cream shop he’d taken me to after heroically saving me from a criminal biker gang named The Mallards…as the story had evolved in my head.
With each encounter, I grew more and more comfortable around him, almost to the point where I felt as if we’d known each other for years. He’d talk about what it was like growing up with four sisters. I’d share stories about my own childhood.
Every afternoon when I read to my dad, I often held out hope Noah would surprise me with a visit. He’d done just that a few times. I’d smile as he sat beside me, listening to me read to my father. Whatever was going on between us had grown into something more than a friendship based on a shared struggle, although I kept reminding myself I only spent time with him because of my book.
When I wasn’t with Noah, I was glued to my laptop, Jackson and Avery’s story bleeding from my fingertips. He’d become my unsuspecting inspiration for Jackson, and with each encounter, I wondered how Noah would influence the next part of their story. It was like someone had cut the chains that had shackled me to the same repetitive storyline. For the first time in years, I wrote the story I wanted to tell. I’d never felt so fulfilled and satisfied with my writing.
“What are you doing here?” I stopped in the doorway, cursing my luck. Drew typically didn’t work on Saturdays. “Who’s watching the girls?”
I had yet to tell Brooklyn or Drew about Noah. I hated keeping secrets from them, but they couldn’t know the truth…that I was essentially using my father’s doctor to write a heart-wrenching forbidden romance. For all they knew, things with Timothy had gone exceedingly well and he was my new inspiration. At some point, I knew I’d have to tell them the truth, but I wasn’t ready for that just yet. I didn’t need their reminder that I shouldn’t be playing with someone’s emotions. I knew it was wrong, but I couldn’t quit seeing Noah any more than an alcoholic could stop drinking.
“Hiya, Auntie Molly!” A head with tight brown curls popped up from the other side of the counter. “We’re playing here before Daddy takes us to the aquarium!” Alyssa explained as a smaller, nearly identical head appeared beside her.
“Yes, Auntie Molly! Come see the fishes with us!” Charlotte implored.
I opened my mouth, about to give them the same excuse I always did…that I already had plans. Their faces fell before I had the chance to utter a single word, as if they already knew what I would say.
“Come on, Mols,” Drew said in a soft voice. “Just for a half-hour. Then you can go. I feel like I haven’t seen you in a month.”
I eyed my watch, seeing it was already past one in the afternoon.
“He’ll be okay if you’re a little late today.”
I pulled my lip between my teeth, hating the disappointment etched on my nieces’ faces. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d gone out with them and my brother. Sure, we got together every Sunday evening for family dinner and a movie, but it had been a while since the four of us had spent any meaningful time together.
“Okay. I’ll come for a little bit.” I winked.
“Yay!” Alyssa and Charlotte cheered with excitement, running around the counter and flinging their tiny arms around me.
“Can we go now, Daddy?” Alyssa begged.
“Of course, munchkin.” He grabbed a chocolate hazelnut pastry and handed it to me, knowing my guilty pleasure.
Ducking under the counter, he swooped both Alyssa and Charlotte into his arms with ease, carrying them out of the café. Their giggles made my heart melt. I froze in place, staring at him laughing and making up songs with his two girls. I loved seeing Drew as a father. I used to think he was put on this earth only to play hockey. He had an amazing talent unmatched by anyone else in the rink, and I wasn’t just saying that because he was my brother. Still, his skills on the ice were no match to the talent he had for being a father. He loved those two girls more than he loved anything, and it showed.
Drew turned around, studying me. “Are you coming, Molly?”
“Sorry.” I snapped out of my thoughts and caught up with them. “I was lost in my head for a minute.”
“Thinking of the book?” Drew asked while Alyssa and Charlotte debated what we should see first at the aquarium. Alyssa wanted to visit the sea turtles; Charlotte preferred the penguins.
“What else?” A silence settled between us as we wandered through Christopher Columbus Park, the smell of the ocean growing stronger.
“You never answered why you’re wearing makeup,” Drew commented.
“I wear makeup all the time,” I insisted.
“To visit Dad?” He lowered his voice. “Do you have plans to see Timothy tonight?”
“No,” I answered truthfully, although I probably should have lied.
“Is everything still okay with him?”
“Of course. He’s been swamped with work and I’ve been busy writing. It’s actually a blessing in disguise that he’s so career oriented. Then he doesn’t want to see me all the time.” I offered Drew a smile, hoping he wouldn’t be able to see through all the lies I’d been feeding him.
“I don’t know why you think you even need to date this guy. Apparently, you’re doing just fine writing this book on your own. You saw Kevin at least four times a week. I can count on one hand the number of times you’ve seen this guy, and he’s never even been over to your apartment.”
I sighed, crossing my arms in front of my chest. “You wouldn’t understand, Drew.”
“Because you refuse to talk about it.”
I stared forward, remaining silent. I could feel his eyes studying me. This whole thing was a ticking time bomb. He’d eventually figure out I’d been lying to everyone about dating Timothy. I just needed to finish this book, and soon.
“Have you ever found yourself attracted to someone you knew you couldn’t have?” I blurted out as we approached the doors to the aquarium, the girls bursting with excitement.
“Why are you asking?” He looked at me suspiciously. “Is something going on that I should know about?”
“No,” I answered quickly. Probably too quickly. “It’s just this book.” I ran my hands through my wavy hair. “I guess I’m trying to wrap my head around what would make someone sacrifice everything — their career, their integrity, their reputation — for another person.”
A small smile tugged on his lips before he sighed, meeting my eyes. “You’d be surprised what people are willing to give up when they’re in love.”
“I’m not writing a love story,” I reminded him. “I’m writing a hot, steamy romance. At least that’s what I’m supposed to be writing.” I turned my head.
“But it’s not,” Drew stated. “I’ve seen what you’ve written so far. It’s not even close to hot and steamy.”
“I just wasn’t feeling it,” I admitted truthfully. “So I wrote something I was feeling. There’s more than just a superficial attraction based on looks alone. There’s a connection.”
“Then I think you already have your answer,” Drew replied.
I looked to him, my brow furrowed. “I don’t follow.”
“Take the girls, for example.” He gestured toward Alyssa and Charlotte as we walked behind them past the main entrance and toward a display of penguins. Alyssa’s face oozed with excitement. “What if they had some terminal illness that required a transplant? What if we found a donor, but he only agreed on the condition that you give up your writing, that you never publish another book for the rest of your life? Would you agree?”
“Of course I would,” I answered without hesitation. “I’d do anything for those girls.”
“Because you love them.”
“Yes, but that’s a different kind of love than what I’m talking about.”
“That may be, but the principle remains the same. The human race is, generally, kindhearted. Most of us would gladly sacrifice everything for those we love, regardless of whether that love is based on a mutual connection, attraction, or whether it’s the love of family.” He tore his gaze from me, a glint in his eyes as he looked at his girls once more. “I had no idea what to expect when Carla told me she was pregnant, and I was scared shitless when she left me to raise two girls on my own, but I would do anything to keep them by my side.”
I grabbed his hand, giving him a reassuring smile as we followed the girls through the aquarium, laughing as they scrunched their faces against the glass of some of the fish tanks.
“I guess I’m just trying to wrap my head around these characters’ motivations,” I said, breaking through the silence that made me feel as if my brother knew this had nothing to do with my book. “He’d have to sacrifice everything to be with her. And why? For the illusion of love? Even if there were such a thing as love…which, just for argument’s sake, I’ll concede may exist…what’s her motivation? She’s not sacrificing anything. She should just find someone else and forget about him.”
“It seems like what her brain wants and what her heart wants are two different things, Molly.”
I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth, looking around, not seeing anything. My thoughts were all over the place.
“Are you sure everything’s okay?” Drew asked softly.
“Of course.” I turned to him, plastering a fake smile on my face. “I’m fine. I promise.”
“Okay,” he sighed. “Just be careful with whatever you’re doing.”
“Wha—”
He held up his hand, stopping me. “I don’t know what it is, but something tells me you’re not giving me the whole story. I just don’t want to see you get hurt, whether by Timothy or someone else.” He gave me a knowing look.
Instead of feeding him the same lie I had been the past few weeks, I simply nodded. That one gesture told him all he needed to know.
“I won’t,” I assured him. “My heart is an iron fortress. You should know that by now.”
“Even iron can melt if it gets hot enough.”