I looked about the breakfast table at the lot of them. It was a rerun of last night. All heads were down as they ate. I leaned forward toward Ruck, who was across the table from me, and gave him the dead eye. It was hard to do all that non-blinking, but it was worth it. If I could crack him, the rest would follow.

“I don’t care if you stare at me all day long. We’re not leaving.” The stubborn bastard kept eating.

We were both dug into our positions. He thought he was doing the best thing by staying, and I thought the exact opposite.

“Every bite you take is a bite closer to death.” I tried to give the word as much impact as I could. It didn’t work out so well, as they all kept taking bites closer to death.

Ruck hummed right before he took a bite twice the size of the last. He swallowed it after five chews and said, “That bite must’ve been three months alone. It tasted damn good.”

“You’re going to…” Holy magic, Ryker was here. I didn’t need to turn around to feel his magic heading straight toward our table, toward me. Was I late again? I peeked over my shoulder. The set of his mouth said I was. Today’s practice was going to suck dragon’s turds.

He stopped beside the table. “You’re late.”

I glance over at the clock, trying to figure out if the short hand or the long hand was the one that made me late. Or both?

I stood, knowing I should’ve apologized, but it was hard to say sorry to the person who was dangling your life in front of you.

“I had something that needed to be handled.” It was sort of an apology—or an explanation. They were kind of in the same realm.

Ryker turned on his heel and left, clearly expecting me to follow.

“We’ll continue this later,” I said to Ruck, getting up to follow Ryker because of that whole dangling life problem.

“Only if you can find me,” Ruck said to my back, sounding like he might have been kidding but not really.

I caught up to Ryker but kept that nice five-foot buffer in between us as we walked out of the building and through the city.

Ryker didn’t speak to me again until we were almost at the field. “You can’t tell time, can you?”

“So? A lot of people can’t.” I shrugged as if it didn’t bother me.

“Would you like someone to teach you?”

I hesitated for a second. “No. Once me and my crew leave, I won’t need to know.” Even if I did want to learn, I’d figure it out on my own. I knew what the people in the countries said about us. He wasn’t going to treat me like one of the poor, ignorant people from the Ruined City.

We got to the clearing but he wasn’t grabbing his stick. “You sure about the ‘we’? Doesn’t look like you’ve got any ‘we.’ Only I.”

“Because you’re luring them in with food and sunny rooms with windows. It’s all shiny and new right now, but they’ll figure it out.”

He stood there as if having a silent debate with himself. He reached down and grabbed a stick before he stopped again. He turned to me instead of drawing the circle. “You aren’t leading them. You’re holding them back.”

My hands shot to my hips. How dare he judge me? He had no idea what our lives were like. “They’re alive.” And keeping everyone alive had been hard enough at times.

He shook his head. “But they’re not living, not even close to it. All you do is find them the darkest corner to crouch down and hide in. That’s not living. That’s a slow, miserable death.”

I took a few steps away, ready to walk out on his practice. “Mind your business. You’re about to get all your people killed by starting a war. What do you even need that’s more important than their lives?” Let’s see how well his people were living in a year.

His jaw shifted, and I knew I’d hit a soft spot. At least he felt bad about the coming massacre. That was something. As expected, though, he didn’t tell me what it was he wanted in Bedlam.

He stabbed the stick into the ground. “I’m trying to help you.”

“I hate you; you hate me. Let’s keep the well-meaning advice to ourselves.” I pointed at his stick, motioning for him to do his thing.

He didn’t. “You don’t hate me. You hate the truth. If that’s the life you want, I won’t stop you after we’re done. Go back to it. But I’m not telling them they have to go with you. I’m going to give them the chance you didn’t, to have something worth dying for.”

He finally drew his circle and put up his ward.

“Remember, finesse is more likely to work.”

I placed my hands on it and nothing happened. I thought, Break ward, break ward, over and over and it still didn’t budge.

“You’re not trying hard enough.”

Not leading my people well enough. Not doing this well enough. I pretended he wasn’t speaking and rammed at the ward, giving my pent-up need to beat him bloody a different focus.

“Stop,” he said, as I was about to hit the ward for the tenth time. He tossed the stick. “Let’s focus on your defenses.”

I stepped back a ways, hoping a little space would make it more bearable. If it was like the other times he’d poked me with his magic, it wouldn’t be bad. I could handle some pushing. Didn’t really care if I fell on my ass. But if it felt like it did in his rooms… That, I didn’t know what to do with.

I felt his magic heading toward me, swarming around, and immediately knew it was going to be the same as his room. The feeling ebbed for a second, and I thought I was going to get pushed, then it went back to that weird feeling. It was the strangest sensation, as if his magic was blending with mine, and it gave me warm and tingly feelings all over. Maybe I just needed to get used to it? It wasn’t as if it was painful, just weird.

Then it was gone.

“We’re done for the day.”

He walked out of the field and toward the city with no further explanation.

We walked back together, but only because we were both heading back to camp and leaving the spot at the same time. I thought about fussing with my shoe for a few minutes to let the gap between us lengthen, but why should I get stuck waiting behind?

We hit the camp and his attention immediately landed on a busty brunette walking past. It was hard not to notice because it was like as soon as he spotted her, she did a beeline to his place.

* * *

I was kicking the post of the tower with my swinging heel as I stared at Ryker’s door. “He says we’re done all abruptly, as if he’s got this pressing matter he suddenly remembered, but then…” I nudged Ruck’s arm. “Are you listening to me?”

“Hanging on every word.” He made the words long and drawn out, as if he could fall asleep at any moment.

I didn’t let that stop me. “Then he disappears into his room with this woman that reeks of sex.”

“So?” Ruck yawned and collapsed back against the rail of the tower.

“So? It’s the middle of the day. That’s what he stops our practice for?” I was positive that eating well was leading to mass insanity. Only possible explanation.

“Are you mad because he’s doing someone, or are you mad because he’s not doing you? Because I’m starting to have my suspicions.” He leaned over until I could see his face, his raised eyebrows and nodding head.

We both knew he’d had his suspicions, which were very wrong. Why would I possibly want Ryker? “You keep forgetting I hate him.”

“I don’t think he’s that bad. It’s okay to be attracted to him. I am. Just do him. Get it out of your system. I would.” Ruck shrugged his shoulder as if that were the simplest math in the world. “Or do somebody. I really think you need to get laid.”

“I don’t need to get laid.”

“Fine. Die a virgin.”

The second the words were out, he stiffened.

The mood crashed from playful bantering to awkward instantly.

“Bugs, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking—”

I bumped my shoulder into his. “I know. It’s not a big deal. I’m good now, and I’m going to get fixed.”

I ran my fingers over my shirt, right above where I knew the bruise would come back.

Ruck grabbed my other hand.