When he rolled up in his fancy car, I wondered if I had made a mistake agreeing to have dinner with him. The exclusive photo shoot would be nice, but I still had to talk to him. Sure, I was intrigued at what he might have to say, but I couldn’t ignore the fluttering in my stomach every time I’d thought about him today.

As I walked out of the building, he stepped out and walked over to the passenger side, opening the door for me. My heart raced as I saw him. He looked even more handsome than the other day, if that was even possible. He actually had clothes on this time and he still couldn’t manage to pull off looking normal. His movie-star grin lit up his ruggedly handsome face and every muscle that flexed and rippled in his arms as he moved made me want to reach out and run my fingers along them.

Gone was the lanky eighteen year-old boy I’d fallen in love with.

Toby Jenkins was now a fully grown man. And my, how he’d grown.

“You’re on time,” I said, smiling.

“It’s been a crazy day, but I made it.”

I got in the passenger seat. He closed the door behind me then walked back around to the other side. The smell of leather and wealth permeated the inside of the car.

“And off we go,” he said, pressing a button to start the engine.

“What happened to your truck?” I asked, smiling over at him.

“My Ford?” he asked, a wide smile spreading across his face. “It’s in my garage.”

“You still have it?” I asked, my heart skipping a beat.

We’d fallen in love in that truck.

I’d lost my virginity in that truck.

“Yeah, I never could manage to bring myself to get rid of it. It’s fully restored now.”

“Oh,” I said, disappointment spreading over me as I remembered a particular dent we’d put in the hood one night.

“The dent’s still there,” he said, as if reading my mind.

“Oh,” I nodded, heat rising to my face, because I knew he was reliving that night just as I was. His mouth, buried between my legs, the stars sparkling over head as the tall trees of the forest surrounding us swaying in the wind. It had been a magical night, and once we were finished and discovered the dent my ass had left in his hood, we’d laughed all the way home. Every night back then had been magical. I never imagined it would all end. But it had. I had to remember that. I couldn’t let his smile disarm me. I had to keep reminding myself to keep this entire situation focused on business.

The past was dead.

Our love was dead.

Toby had killed it himself.

“So, where are we going?” I asked, changing the subject. Thinking about being alone in his truck with him was excruciating.

“Chez Louie. Ever hear of it?”

“No.”

“That’s too bad. You’ve been missing out.”

“They have good food, do they?”

“I love the owners.”

He glanced over and grinned.

“They’re my parents,” he said after a moment of silence.

“Oh?” I said, another dagger shooting straight into my heart. I’d loved his parents, almost as much as I’d loved him. I hadn’t counted on seeing them. This was going to be a lot harder than I thought. “How are they?”

“They’re doing good. They opened the restaurant a few years ago, but business hasn’t been great. I’ve been helping them keep it afloat, but my Pops doesn’t like me helping them. You know how prideful he can be.”

“I remember,” I whispered, nodding.

He made a left turn onto a side street.

“I owe them everything,” he said in a serious tone, “I wouldn’t be who I am without them.”

“They were always very devoted to you,” I replied, remembering the love between them. His father had always been a little gruff, but you could see the kind of man he was underneath it all.

I turned to him and smiled, forgetting all about the photo shoot.

“I’m looking forward to seeing them,” I said.

“My Mom is going to freak out when she sees you,” he smiled.

“Here we are,” he said as we pulled into a nearly empty parking lot.

“Not very busy for a Wednesday night.”

He sighed.

“Yeah, I need to get the advertising going again. There’s just so much going on in my life right now. And Dad won’t budge an inch on taking money from me, so Mom and I have sneak around behind his back just to keep the lights on. It’s absurd.”

“It’s nice of you to help them.”

“They’re my parents,” he said, shrugging. I couldn’t help but smile. He’d always been a good guy. He parked the car near the building. I got out before he had a chance to walk all the way over to the passenger side. Together, we walked to the glass front door.

“Thank you,” I said, as he opened it for me.

I stepped inside, not sure what to expect. The décor and ambience made an impact on me.

“Haley!” she cried, rushing over to us and pulling me into her arms.

“Hello, Mrs. Jenkins! It’s been a long time,” I said, into her shoulder.

“It sure has!” she said, pulling away and holding me at arm’s length as she looked me up and down. I smiled into her warm eyes, so many memories rushing at me. “You look wonderful!”

“Thank you, so do you,” I said, smiling at her.

“I’m so glad you’re here. Toby, sit in your favorite booth. I’ll bring some drinks and menus.”

“Thanks, Ma,” Toby said, putting his hand on the small of my back and guiding me to a corner booth. We sat down, staring across the table at each other.

“I told you she’d be happy to see you,” he said, winking.

His mother soon returned with a pitcher of water, two glasses, and expensive, leather-bound menus.

“Anything you want, Haley,” she said. “I’ll bring some wine over in a second.”

“Thank you,” I said, smiling up at her again. She patted my hand and walked away.

“This place is beautiful,” I said after she walked away.

“Yeah, I think they did a great job,” he said, looking around proudly. “I just wish there were more customers.”

“Have you run any advertising in the newspaper?”

“Yeah, a little, but you don’t want to get me started on your newspaper.”

He chuckled as he placed a cloth napkin on his lap.

“Oh? Bad experience?”

“Well, when I called last night to talk with you, the damn computer answering system went crazy.”

I laughed.

“Yeah, we have bets in the newsroom on whether our phone system is the start of Skynet.” I glanced up and saw him smiling at the reference. “The system is broke, but corporate won’t give us any money to fix it or replace it.”

He shook his head.

“Journalism is so damn important.”

“Right? I don’t know what’s going to happen in the next ten years, but it’s scary.”

I picked up one of the menus and opened it up.

“The steak is good,” he said.

“Is that what you’re having?”

“Yes,” he replied, flashing me that disarming smile again.

Dammit, I thought, taking a deep breath. Why was he so fucking hard to resist? I stared over at him, mesmerized by his gaze, despite my best efforts. I didn’t want to remember the past, I didn’t want to remember the way he made me feel, I didn’t want to remember the way my heart pounded every time he came near me, the way my body felt more alive than it’d ever felt since. I couldn’t erase any of those things, but dammit, I’d spent the better part of ten years trying not to wallow in those feelings and I was doing a damned good job of it lately.

Until I’d thrown myself into his path. Now, it was like the last ten years never happened.

But they had. We were different people now and despite the way my body was responding to him, nothing could change that.

“You’re quiet,” he said.

I smiled politely.

“Sorry,” I said, looking away.

It was too much. The heat in his eyes. The story in them. All the unanswered questions that I desperately wanted answers for.

His mother returned, an open bottle of wine in her hands.

“Haley, how’ve you been? How are your parents?” she asked.

My smile faded quickly.

“They died a few years ago, unfortunately.”

“Oh, dear!” she said, throwing a hand over her heart. I heard Toby gasp but I didn’t look his way. I hadn’t told him, but to be honest, it just hadn’t come up in conversation. There wasn’t a good time to tell him, and yet here we were.

“I’m so sorry to hear that,” she said.

“Thank you, Mrs. Jenkins. It was a car accident.”

“I’m so sorry, Haley, I didn’t know,” Toby said, his voice low and serious. I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. I knew what I’d see there and I couldn’t handle it.

“Thank you. It’s been a few years now,” I said.

“Well, I know they were both very proud of you, Haley.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Jenkins,” I said.

“Have you two decided what you’re having?” she asked.

“Two steaks, please, Ma,” he said, handing her the menus.

“Coming right up.”

As she wandered away again, I glanced around the nearly empty dining room.

“There’s a nice atmosphere here.”

“Thanks. We’ve spent quite a bit of money over the last couple years.”

“I’m sure they appreciate it,” I said.

“They do,” he said. “Well, Mom does. Dad pretends it’s not happening and we play along to save his pride.”

I laughed, smiling over at him, ignoring the butterflies fluttering in my stomach.

“So you got married,” I said, figuring this was as good as time as any to start prying for answers.

“I did,” he nodded. “It didn’t work out very well.”

“I’m sorry. I remember reading all the articles about the divorce.”

He shook his head.

“I still can’t believe how much they wrote about my personal life.”

“It’s over now, though, right?”

I looked into his eyes, wondering if he was over her.

“Oh yeah,” he said. “Long over.”

“I’m sorry about that,” I said.

“Don’t be,” he said. “I’m not. I never should have married Jessica in the first place.”

“Why did you?” I asked, feeling bold.

He paused, staring over at me thoughtfully before answering.

“I guess I thought marrying her would make me stop thinking about —.”

“—Here’s your salads!” His Mom laid the plates on the table, interrupting him.

“Thanks, Ma,” he said, smiling up at her.

“Of course! Eat! Drink!” she urged. We laughed together, as easily as we’d laughed back when we were kids. It seemed so long ago and yet, sitting here with him now, it was like nothing had changed.

“So you were saying? About Jessica?” I asked, after she’d left.

“Oh, it doesn’t matter,” he said with a dismissive wave. “How long have you been at the Press?”

“A few years. And, I’m not looking forward to going back to work tonight,” I said.

“You have to go back to work tonight?”

I nodded.

“There’s no rush, though. I told Scott, my boss, I might have a long dinner tonight. I usually work the swing shift.”

“Scott’s the photo editor, right?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“I talked to him on the phone last night. He seems like an okay guy.”

“He’s an asshole. Trust me.”

He grinned while staring at me.

“What?”

“You’ve got this look on your face right now. I’m not sure how to describe it, but…”

“Do I have something on my face?” I interrupted.

“No, no, not like that at all. It’s just…you haven’t changed, have you, Haley?”

“I’ve changed a lot, actually. You’d be surprised.”

“I guess I have, too,” he said.

“A lot of time has passed,” I said, his eyes peering deeply into mine. I felt like I was drowning and part of me wanted to just dive in deeper, but the other part of me wouldn’t let me forget how much he’d broken my heart.

His mother returned with our food and we made small talk throughout dinner, never talking about the photo shoot, or the past, again.

I wanted to tell him everything, about my parents, about Billy, about who I was now, but the words just didn’t come.

Instead, we talked about football, we talked about his team, we talked about everything that wasn’t important and nothing that was. My answers never came.

After we finished eating, I checked the time on my phone.

Almost time to go. Already? I frowned, not ready to go back to the newspaper and work, but mainly not wanting to leave him.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, pushing his plate toward the center of the table.

“I should get going.”

“So soon? Our date just started.”

“This wasn’t a date, Toby.”

“Well, I guess I thought I’d have more time to plead my case.”

“What case?”

“Look, Haley, I know things ended badly, but I was hoping we could try again.”

“Badly? Try again? Are you serious?” I asked, arching an eyebrow. “It just ended, Toby. There was no good or bad, or any sort of lead up to it at all. It was like everything was going along smoothly and we fell off a cliff without any warning.”

“It was that terrible, huh?”

“You don't remember?” I asked, defensiveness and anger beginning to rush through me.

His sudden departure had wrecked me, left me reeling for months, submersed in misery that I thought I’d never crawl out of.

“I do remember,” he said, nodding slowly, his eyes haunted. I wished I could crawl inside his mind and dig around in his thoughts until I found satisfactory answers to the questions that had plagued me for years.

“Look, this is pointless. I don’t even know why I’m here.”

“We were going to discuss a photo shoot. And catch up.”

“Yeah, well, I’m beginning to think that’s a bad idea.”

“Haley, I’m sorry…”

“Yeah? For what, Toby? Bringing me here? Or breaking my heart? For abandoning me without any explnation?” I asked, my voice cracking. I fought back the tears and jumped up and grabbed my purse. I turned to leave but turned back briefly. “Once upon a time, I thought you were a good guy, Toby. Turns out, I had no idea who you were and I still don’t.”

“Haley, please, just give me a chance to explain.” His eyes begged forgiveness but I couldn’t look at him. Not anymore.

I turned and walked out, ignoring the sadness on his mother’s face as I walked past the front desk and out into the sunlight.

I sat on the curb and pulled up my Uber app and ordered a car, wishing I’d driven myself instead of letting him pick me up.

The footsteps falling behind me were as familiar as my own, even after all these years.

“We’re done talking,” I said, without looking up. “I’m just waiting for my ride.”

“Come on, Haley. I’m sorry. Give me one more chance. Tomorrow.”

“Why?”

“For your job, mainly. Let’s do the photo shoot tomorrow and maybe we can try to smooth things over, in the meantime.”

“I have to work tomorrow.”

“So I’ll call your boss and tell him you’ll be working off site with me.”

Despite every cell in my body screaming at me to tell him to fuck off, I slowly nodded my head.

I guess I wanted those answers more than I thought I did.

“Fine,” I said. “Pick me up at my office.”

“Great!” he said, as I flashed him a weary grin.

“Don’t look so pleased. This is just business, Toby.”

“Just business. Got it,” he nodded. “Sure I can’t give you a ride?”

“Nope,” I said, standing up, as my car approached. “There’s my Uber.”

“Alright,” he said. “See you tomorrow.”

I got in the car without a word, my heart pounding in my chest, my head spinning a million miles an hour as I cursed myself for agreeing to see him again.