DEX
DEX PRIDED HIMSELF on the fact that he hadn’t lost his ability to become one with the shadows.
He’d been following Andi from afar ever since he’d seen her walking back from the gardens with Valen, both of them silent and looking content.
Dex had to talk to her before it was too late.
He’d almost approached her in the hall, but he’d been distracted by the mess the workers were cleaning up. When he’d discovered it was Alfie, he’d stayed behind to ask his own questions after Andi moved along.
A few minutes later, as he caught back up, he’d just barely seen her turn the corner into the residential wing of the estate, walking confidently as if she knew the route.
This place had once been her home. Of course she knew where she was going. He’d followed her, curious about what she was doing, until she’d stopped before an unlocked wooden door at the end of the hall. Glancing quickly over her shoulder, she’d slipped inside and shut the door behind her.
Dex had spent half the day imagining how this conversation with Andi would go.
There were plenty of potential outcomes, few of them good.
Whether he liked it or not, their time together was coming to an end. He had to talk to her, put his feelings on the line before she soared away from here when the job was done, never to be seen or heard from again.
With a deep breath, Dex opened the door and slipped inside.
The room was massive.
Moonlight danced through two towering windows on the opposite end, casting the rows of shelves in strange shadows. Books filled each shelf, the ancient kind with pages that could be flipped through, containing entire worlds that one could fall into if they weren’t careful enough.
Dex had never been a reader, and he knew Andi wasn’t much of one, either.
But he remembered her saying that Kalee was.
“The general scoured the galaxy for this collection,” Andi said suddenly.
Dex turned. She stood near him in the dark room, softly lit by a beam of moonlight. The sadness in her eyes could almost be felt, like a tangible thing.
“You said Kalee was a reader,” Dex said. He laughed softly. “I didn’t know she was this much of a reader.”
“She loved exploring,” Andi said. “The general loved keeping her close. And so she turned to books for her adventures.”
She turned and walked past the first row of shelves, running her fingertips across the old spines.
Dust swirled into the air at her touch.
“I guess no one’s used this room since...” Andi said.
She stopped talking then and continued to gaze at the books. Dex gazed at her, his mind telling him to talk, his lips choosing silence instead.
“What is it about memories,” Andi said suddenly, walking back toward him, “that gives them the ability to hurt us so badly?”
Dex shook his head. “The past is powerful. I think you and I both know that.”
She finally looked into his eyes. “I’m tired of letting the past control me, Dextro,” she whispered. “Aren’t you?”
“It’s easier said than done,” he said back.
She was standing close to him. Close enough that he could see the scar on her neck from an old sparring accident between the two of them. Close enough that, if he closed his eyes, he could almost imagine her heart was beating as quickly as his was now.
There was a deep, brutal scar on his chest, stretching toward his neck, and it had come from her.
She reached up, slowly, and placed her hand over it.
“I never thought I’d see you again,” she said. “That night, on the moon... And yet somehow, you survived.”
His body felt like melted wax. Useless beneath her touch.
“Andi,” Dex started, but she shook her head.
“Don’t say anything. Not yet.” She swallowed and pulled her hand away. “I’ve never felt so wounded, Dex, as the night you betrayed me.”
He closed his eyes. He felt the pain in her voice as if it were his own.
“I deserved what you did to me. Many times after that night, I wished I had died by your blade.” She wasn’t looking at him anymore. He stepped closer. “Andi.”
She glanced up.
“I’m sorry,” he said. And though he’d already told her back on the Marauder, it felt like he was apologizing for the very first time. “I’m so sorry for betraying you. I’m so sorry for choosing...”
“Dex.”
She touched his chest with both hands now. His heart threatened to burst from within.
“I’m sorry, too,” she said.
Each word was like a gift he hadn’t known he’d been so desperate to receive.
“All these years,” Andi said, “I’ve held on to my hatred of you. And when you showed back up and you told me the truth...I don’t know what I feel for you anymore.”
He loosed a breath. “I don’t know what I feel for you, either.”
Andi laughed softly. “We’re terrible together, you and I.”
“Are we?” Dex asked. “There was a time when we were great together.”
He realized that her hands had dropped to find his. That their fingers were suddenly intertwining, and she was pulling him closer to her, until their bodies were almost touching.
“Andi,” he whispered. But his words were lost.
She angled her head up to meet his, and when their lips touched, Dex felt a spark so intense it made him feel as if he were electricity itself. Her full lips slid against his, enticing him with such wanting, he couldn’t resist the lure.
Then she was tugging at his shirt, yanking him closer. Their limbs tangled together as their chests breathed as one. He lifted her up and spun her so that her back was up against the bookshelves.
Their kisses became insistent. Hungry. The world around them ceased to exist. All that mattered was this moment and nothing more. His tongue teased at her breathless lips as she ran her hands through his hair.
This moment was familiar as much as it was foreign. They weren’t the same people they used to be, but somehow, with her in his arms, his lips against hers, Dex felt as if he was coming home.
They kissed until they couldn’t breathe. Until Dex’s body ached with wanting, but he knew they had to stop. When they parted, he kept his eyes closed as he rested his forehead against hers.
They stayed like that for a while, in shared silence.
“Dex?” Andi asked.
He pulled away from her so he could look into her eyes.
“We can’t... This won’t ever...”
“I know,” he said.
And in his heart, he knew that it was true. Their two worlds were never meant to become one. That even through the forgiveness, even with the unavoidable feelings that echoed between them, they could never share a future. They had already had their chance, long ago. They’d both ruined it in their own ways.
“What will you do, after this?” Andi asked.
He shrugged. “I’ll become a Guardian again. I’ll do whatever is asked of me, go wherever my orders tell me to go.”
“And the Marauder?” Andi asked.
This part Dex had already thought of, and it was what had surprised him the most. “She’s yours,” he said. “You earned her through sweat and blood.”
She laughed softly. He’d miss that laugh. Someday she’d share it with another man, someone who would give her the love she deserved.
“If you ever need a crew,” Andi said, “you can call on us.”
He knew it was her way of thanking him. He nodded, sighing as exhaustion swept over him. But he didn’t want to go.
“It’s late,” Andi said. “We should probably try to sleep before tomorrow.”
The ball, Dex remembered suddenly.
As they stood, straightening their clothes, he took her hand in his.
“I’ve never done this before,” he said. He felt foolish. Like a boy again, hoping for the attention of a beautiful girl. “And I know that we don’t have a future together, after this is over. But I think...I’d like it if...if you...”
“Oh,” Andi glanced at the ground between them. She shook her head, a sad smile on her lips. “I’m already going with Valen.”
Dex laughed bitterly. “I never was good with timing, was I?”
She sighed. They turned to leave, walking in silence to the library doors. Before they parted, Andi placed a hand on his arm.
“It was good, Dex,” she said. “The time we spent together, before. I wouldn’t take any of it back.”
She leaned forward and placed a kiss on his cheek.
When they parted ways, Dex couldn’t help but feel as if he were seeing Androma Racella for the very last time.