Broken and Screwed

An eerie feeling came over me and I left for the hallway. The bathroom was empty; there were no lights on in the house, but I already knew where he was. I stopped outside of Ethan’s bedroom. The door was open and I saw Jesse on the edge of his bed. He cradled his head in his hands. They were propped on his knees, and his shoulders shook. There was no sound, but I knew he was sobbing.

My heart broke then. I thought I’d been broken already, but it splintered apart again. Then I stopped thinking and went inside. As Jesse had comforted me before, I did the same. I lifted his head and slid between his arms. And then he stiffened for a second before he lifted me on his lap. My legs parted and I straddled him instead. Desire burst forth in me when I saw the heat in his eyes. He didn’t want comfort. He wanted to forget.

His hands cupped my legs. He pulled me tight and ground into me. My chest was pressed against his and my lips parted for him. And then we both forgot together.

CHAPTER TEN

We woke around nine the next morning. I was the first to wake. I couldn’t stay in bed any longer; too many memories haunted me because of the night before, so I got out of bed. When I came back from showering, I saw that Jesse was dressed. As we bypassed the kitchen, I thought about making coffee, but Jesse touched my arm.

“I’ll make some at my place for you.”

And that was that. We went to get my car, which had been left alone. Thank goodness. And I followed Jesse back to his house. When he drove into the basement parking area, I waited and drove up the driveway to his front door. I waited outside for him to come, but the door opened. His housekeeper, Zala, motioned for me to come in. Her plump cheeks were flushed. Her dimples appeared and I grinned back at her. She squeezed my arm once, but never said anything.

“Alex?”

She pointed towards the kitchen, so I led the way.

Jesse grinned when he saw both of us. He waved towards the table. “Sit. I’ll make breakfast.”

Zala and I sat at the table as he made breakfast for us both. We had toast, eggs, and bacon. He made the coffee he had promised. Zala got up from the table. She came back with creamer and sugar. I was about to say thank you, but she dumped a bunch in her own coffee and then plopped them back on the table.

Jesse took the seat beside mine with his own plate of food and the three of us ate in silence. When Zala finished first, she got up, collected all the dirty dishes, and took them back into the kitchen. Jesse tapped my hand and I followed him to his room. It was then that I realized that was a normal routine for the two of them.

It was something I hadn’t expected from him, but then again, my family had been like his most of his life. It made sense that he had sought out that type of comfortable relationship with Zala. She’d been with his family as long as I could remember.

When we got to his room, I curled up on his bed and watched as he started to pack his clothes. And then a different thought came to me. “Why didn’t you say anything when Marissa was calling you all the time?”

The shirt he had grabbed was balled into his fist. He jerked up to meet my gaze. A flare of guilt flashed in his eyes before it was gone. “Why would I?”

I felt punched in the gut, but then I sighed. Had I really expected anything less? “No, I mean, was she bothering you?”

He shrugged, but turned away quickly to disappear in his closet again. It was awhile before he came back out. This time he had a pile of clothes in his arms and he dropped them all on the bed. As he started to fold them, he bit out, “You’re not my girlfriend, Alex. That’s not what this is.”

“I know it’s not.”

I said that slowly and casually, but I couldn’t lie to myself. The rejection stung; it stung a whole bunch after the night we’d just shared together.

When he didn’t say anything further, I sat up and hugged my knees to my chest. “I saw you at that movie premiere, you know.”

“No, I don’t.” He grinned, but it fell a second later. “Whatever. I was there for my dad. He’d been harassing me to go to one of his movies, so I figured I’d do it to shut him up.”

“Did it work?”

“No,” he sighed and reached for some more shirts to fold. “He’s pushing my name around with his business. I think he’s hoping I’ll go pro early and get some promotion deals or something.”

“Would you want to do that?” I asked, though I knew he wouldn’t.

Disbelief flared in his eyes. “Are you kidding me?”

I grinned. “Yeah, actually.”

He shook his head. “I hate that business.” He glanced at his watch. “Ass Face is coming home tonight. I’d better get a move on it if I want to avoid him.”

“Why’d you come home this weekend?”

He shrugged again and glanced around the room. “I think I have almost everything.” Then he disappeared into the bathroom. He had a little bag in hand when he returned. He placed in the big one and yawned, scanning the room for a second time.

I swallowed tightly and took a breath. “Are you coming home for Thanksgiving break?”

He shook his head. One of his hands idly scratched at his chest. I knew he was still thinking about if he had everything before he left. He murmured, “Practices already started. We got games during that time. Am I forgetting anything?”

I had so many answers for that question, but I held them all back.

Then he sighed again and found me with his gaze. His eyes narrowed. “Are you going to date that second stringer?”