Broken and Screwed

He lifted his head, saw the plea in my eyes, and grinned. His hand skimmed up my back. He lifted me back to him so we were pressed against each other once again. I purred in satisfaction. We were so close, only a few barriers kept us apart. My hand slid down and fumbled for his jeans. I wanted it open. I wanted to feel him against me, skin to skin, but he caught my hand and lifted it up.

I mewled in protest.

“Not here, Alex,” he whispered against my lips. “Soon.”

It didn’t make sense. Why not? I wanted him, but then I hoisted myself up. I wrapped my legs around his waist and looked down. My br**sts were eye-level to him, but he watched me. The same lust had taken over him. I watched as he tried to fight it, but I was blind to anything else. I wanted him to be blind to it too.

Then I was ripped from his arms.

Angie cursed and panted as she pulled me away. “Holy hell. You two can’t even be around each other in public. I swear you were ready to rip off his pants and sink down on him right then and there on the dance floor. Weren’t you?”

I struggled to understand her words. None of them made sense, but I needed Jesse. So I headed back to him.

“Oh, no.” Angie threw me into a room and slapped a hand on the door. The lights were flipped on.

I hissed against the sudden bright light of the bathroom. It was painful and seeped through the trance I’d been under. “What?” I gasped out, still reeling.

“Finally.” She cursed again and crossed her arms. Angie propped herself against the door, on top of the garbage bin, her feet thrown up on the nearest sink. She was immovable and stuck her chin out at me. “You’re going to cool off for awhile.”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“I…” Fully formed thoughts were a struggle for me. So much was beyond my understanding then. “I—what’s going on?”

“Are you drugged?” She raised an eyebrow. “That would make sense, but he was barely holding it in too. Holy, Alex, the two of you are hot. I almost lost it. I wanted to drag Justin to this room and have my way with him, but I can’t leave you alone for a second. Were you really going to screw him on the dance floor? I mean, really?”

“Ugh,” I grunted and held my head between my hands. A searing pain was in my head. It wouldn’t go away.

“Don’t call me that.”

“What?”

“You said I was a pain in your ass. You’re going to be thanking me later. People would’ve had that on video. Can you imagine that? Going to school on Monday, and there’s video of you and Jesse Hunt boning on a dance floor? I’m surprised they didn’t call security on you two. Everyone was watching. Well, hmmm, maybe that was why. Free entertainment and all.”

“Angie,” I seethed through gritted teeth. It was painful as reality sunk back in.

“Hmmm?”

“Please shut up.”

“Oh. Sure.” She shrugged, but gave me a f**k-off smile as she switched her legs. When she was more comfortable, she sank back against the door and wiggled her eyebrows. “But, man, that was hot.”

“Oh god,” I groaned. Flashbacks of us came at me at breakneck speed. His hand was under my dress; both of our hands were under my dress. I wanted him to touch my breast. Then I was on top of him. I groaned as they kept coming.

“Yep. Sucks, doesn’t it?”

“Stop,” I moaned, cradling my head with my hands. Shame coursed through me, filled with regret. I didn’t regret Jesse or wanting Jesse, but the place. I wholeheartedly regretted the place. Oh my god. We were in a nightclub. We were in public.

“Now will you thank me?”

“Thank you.” I glared at her as I did. “Cut me a break. It hasn’t been an easy night, you know.”

The snarky tilt to her mouth dropped and her eyes widened as she shot off the garbage bin. “I’m sorry, Alex. I am. I sort of forgot about the game and…”

And Ethan.

“And everything,” she finished.

I jerked my head in a nod, but turned for the sink and splashed some water on my face.

“Don’t smudge your make-up.”

I looked up. Too late. The mascara was smudged, my concealer was in clumps, and my lipstick had long ago been rubbed off. I was a mess.

“What am I going to do?” I heaved a deep sigh. What the hell was going on with me? I’d been a crying fool in front of thousands and now I almost had sex in public. Thousands could’ve seen that, too.

Angie gave me a sympathetic smile and stood in front of me. She flipped the water on and dabbed a paper towel under the faucet. Then her gentle hands took my face as she started to wipe away the rest of my smudged make-up. While she did, she asked, “Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.” I was already at the mercy of her hands.

She hesitated a second, but asked, “Why did you sleep with him?”

“What?” I stiffened and opened an eye, but she started dabbing my eyelashes. Then I took another deep breath. I felt the confession building inside of me.

“I thought you were going to wait, you know, for a steady boyfriend? And you wanted to make sure he loved you back. Why’d you break that vow to sleep with Jesse?” She chuckled to herself. “I mean, I get it. I do. You two have some damn amazing chemistry, but still, that’s what you preached before…”

I felt her hesitation again. It stung.

“Before Ethan died,” she finished as she started scrubbing the other side of my face.