Isabella stared into her own eyes in the mirror. She took several deep breaths. Okay, she thought, I can do this. Just say the words. It’s not that hard. She let out a sigh and looked down. It was hard. And this was why she’d avoided it for so.

Just being with Lucas had her unnerved. They’d never been able to spend time alone together and this wedding was the perfect excuse. Now that they were there, it was everything she’d imagined it would be. Being with him was easy. Nothing like being Matthew. Matthew had required so much thinking all the time. If she didn’t form her words just right and talk to him in a certain way, he’d get frustrated or offended. If she didn’t try to read his mind, he accused her of not knowing him. Lucas was nothing like that. She could talk freely, without thinking about every word first. She could just be herself.

She didn’t even know how she’d managed to be with Matthew as long as she had. Two years had passed without her noticing much. She had agreed to marry him, but it was likely more for the convenience, or the belief that it was just the next step. When months had passed with no real wedding plans taking place, people started to question what was going on. When she’d sat down and pictured her perfect day, Lucas kept popping up.

She looked at tuxes, imagining what Lucas would look like in long tails. When she tried to pick out music, she found herself picking songs she knew Lucas liked. Even the location, she remembered thinking that Lucas would love it. And that was the point when she had to stop. She couldn’t marry Matthew. She wasn’t in love with him. She was in love with Lucas. And had been for as long as she could remember.

In the moments when she was being brutally honest with herself, she had feelings for him even when Abigail was still alive. Of course, she’d never told anyone or acted on them in any way and never would dream of it. But she’d watched them with a secret jealousy in her heart. When Abigail died, it seemed that her death was the thing that would bring them together. And her being gone meant that she could never be with him. Because it would still feel like stealing him away. It would disrupt the memory of her sister, and she couldn’t bear that.

But as the years passed and she was with Matthew, that thought started to fade. It had been so many years now. Abigail was still alive in their minds and hearts, but Jackson was here, growing up, and he needed a mother. Lucas couldn’t stay single forever. And he wouldn’t. How long could a gorgeous billionaire in his late twenties really avoid being in a relationship? She’d started to feel like time was running out.

Then, tonight, when he’d asked her about what would happen if he started seeing someone, she almost lost it. She thought her chance passed. She imagined being alone forever, watching him get married again, this time to some stranger, and she panicked. She had to tell him. And she had to do it now.

So why couldn’t she? Why was it so difficult? She could tell him anything. Except this. Maybe she was kidding herself, or reading too much into things, but she’d thought for a moment, that he was going to kiss her. The inches between them had felt on fire and her heart raced. They moved closer, like two boats drifting near each other about to crash, but then he’d looked away. And then he’d gotten the call and the spell had been broken.

That’s what was bothering her now. Had she imagined it, or had he really planned to kiss her? Because that would mean he had feelings for her, too, and the reality of that, of all her dreams coming true, was overwhelming. To think, this thing she’d wanted so long was about to happen. All she had to do now was leave this bathroom, find him, tell him.

She took in another breath and set a determined expression on her face. “You can do this.”

She left the bathroom and found him in the same place she’d left him. He was finished his call and stood looking out over the garden.

“Everything okay?” she asked.

“Yes, Sorry about that. It was something that had to be taken care of immediately.”

“I understand.” She stood beside him and looked at him.

He pressed his lips together in a flat smile, and looked away again.

Whatever had been there before was gone now. It felt like the wrongest time ever to tell him. What had changed?

She wondered what Jackson and her parents were up to. Her mind drifted again, to what it’d be like to be a family and be not only Jackson’s aunt, but also his step mother. Caring for her sister’s child like he was her own. She did that now, but only being with him during the day when Lucas was working limited their time together. She didn’t often tuck him in at night, she wasn’t there if he had a nightmare.

But there was one thing she never allowed herself to think of. What if she did date Lucas? What if she dated him and it didn’t work? Before Abigail, he’d told her, he’d dated lots of women. He’d been picky and even Abigail said he could be a lot to take sometimes. High maintenance was usually the phrase.

They got along great now, as friends and family, but what if they didn’t make good lovers? What if they broke up? Then what would come of her time with Jackson? Would he still want her around to watch him if she were his ex? And to have that added time with Jackson, then to lose it. Maybe she was better off just keeping things as they were. It was a big risk to take. Lucas could end up being the love of her life. Or he could be her biggest regret.

She looked over at him. He met her eyes briefly, then looked away again. No. She couldn’t risk it. If she couldn’t be sure he even had feelings for her, she couldn’t risk making things awkward between them and possibly losing Jackson. Maybe one day the time would come. But not today.