Conflicted Love

Just as I was about to answer, I felt a rush of warmth. I looked down further and gasped as it hit me. “Trip, my water just broke.”



Chapter Twenty–Three



Teeny



“Huh?” Trip asked blinking rapidly, his hand in his back pocket.



“My water just broke,” I squeezed out when a pain ripped through my lower stomach almost like it was in a vise.



“But, I’m trying to—SHIT! “ He shot up off his knees and ran out the door. I stood there staring at him and gripping onto the table all the while hearing him rambling, ”I need more time. We have more time! Junior isn’t due for two more weeks!”



“Trip, I think you might need me to come with you.” I looked down at the wet floor and back up at the door. “Perfect time for him to get scared and run away,” I grumbled as the pain subsided.



“You have the baby. I need you to come with me,” Trip said panicked when he rushed back in the room looking flustered.



“Calm down, honey.” I skirted around the table. “I need a mop.”



“Fuck the mop! Your water broke.” Poor Trip looked so freaked out. I was about to reassure him but another pain gripped me again. I grabbed his arm and breathed nice and slow, concentrating on a spot on the wall behind Trip.



“We need to call 911. We need the paramedics,” he rushed out looking around a little helplessly.



“Calm the hell down.” I gritted my teeth. His freak out was nothing but amusing. The pain passed and I directed him toward the door. “Can you please get me my cellphone so I can call Scarlett?”



“Stuff, we need your stuff. You start for the car. I’ll get your stuff.” Dear Lord, he was rambling.



Standing beside the monstrous truck, I was close to cursing him. When he raced out of the parlor, a cell pressed to his ear, I glared at him. He pulled the phone away and raced toward me. “What’s wrong?” he yelled looking between my stomach and me.



“Your stupid penis truck is what’s wrong!” I complained. “I told you a truck was a stupid idea. Didn’t I tell you? I damn well told—” His lips on mine abruptly muffled my rant.



Pulling back, he held onto both my arms until I was steady. “Shut up. We have to get to the hospital.”



Chapter Twenty–Four



Six hours after arriving at the hospital, I was getting panicky. Surely, she shouldn’t be in so much pain. It couldn’t be normal. Shit, something’s wrong, something has to be wrong.



Every few minutes, she’d start those breathing-things that stupid teacher lady from the classes had showed us. Her face would scrunch up and she’d look at me like she was wishing a thousand scorpions would attack my crotch. Frankly, she was scaring me a little.



I took a very slow step forward and handed Scarlett the cup of ice chips before mumbling, “Gotta update Mace. Be right back.” The foul look both the girls gave me only made me hightail it out of the room faster.



“How’s she doing?” Mace asked as soon as I walked into the waiting room.



Sighing, I flopped into the chair beside him, pulled my beanie off and ran my hands through my messy hair. “She’s hurtin’ and I can’t do a God damn thing about it.” Arms on my knees and head in my hands, I really didn’t want to open the can of worms on him, but I needed to know. “Did it take this long for—I mean did she take this long to—” Cringing at the stupid words coming from my mouth, I didn’t know how to ask him without hurting him.



Mace grabbed my shoulder and squeezed once. “Belle took fourteen hours to get here, bud. You’re doin’ fine.”



“I’m sorry. You holdin’ up okay?” I asked. No doubt this was bringing up all sorts of hurt and shit for him.



“I’m good. Now, pull your shit together and get back in there,” he smiled a little sadly.



“Sure, you call Ma?” Standing, I pulled my beanie back into place.



“Yeah, she’s on her way, now go.” He shoved me toward the door. I had a feeling I was about to walk into the pits of hell, or at least find Teeny replicating a demon. Taking a deep breath, I walked into the room where Teeny was lying on the bed looking like I assumed. I very cautiously shuffled up to her and took over from Scarlett wiping a wet washer over her forehead.



“Arrggghh. I freakin hate you right now!” Teeny yelled at me puffing and panting. “This is all your fault!” she snapped crushing my left hand as another contraction ripped through her body.



“You want some drugs yet?” I ground out; she’d just dislocated two of my fingers. I was thinking I might be the one needing the drugs soon. “It’s been hours, Princess. It’s okay if you do. Maybe I’ll just call the nurse to get some, yeah?”



“I know how long it’s been! I can feel how damn long it’s been!” she snarled. “I don’t want drugs. I want this kid out of me. Now!”



Just then, Doctor Wood walked through the door and handed me a gown and gloves. “Suit up, Daddy. You’re going to help me,” she smiled.



“What? I can’t. I don’t know what—I mean—” I stuttered at the idea of what might be down there.



Ignoring me, she spoke to Teeny, “You’re moving along nicely. How are you doing up there, Teeny?” Doctor Wood asked with a few quick nods of her head at the nurses and a pointed look at me.



Throwing the stuff she’d given me on, I moved as a nurse gently pushed me toward the doctor and Teeny’s business end. A tray of metal instruments was wheeled over to us, and Doctor Wood looked up at me with a serious look on her face.



Ahh Shit, the nerves got the best of me and I started to ramble, "Is it broken? Oh God, it's broken, isn't it? Fuck me! You know, Mom never could give me anything as a kid. Toys. I'd break ‘em. New clothes. I'd mess ‘em. Now, I fuck up my favorite part of my woman! Goddamn it! Tell me it'll be okay, Doc!" I rambled looking for assurance that my happy place was going to come out the other side okay.



“Holy shit! “ I looked from between her legs up to her sweaty red face. “Babe, there’s either a head comin' out or you're pissin' a fucking baseball! Holy shit, Teen, it's the head!”



“I know. I can freakin’ feel it!” she screamed looking like she’d take my head off if it were within reach. I peeked back down and heard her grunt.



Excitement filled me. "The head! It’s out!" My excitement fizzled when bloody water gushed out. Starting to feel woozy, I swallowed hard and my lip curled. "Is it meant to do that? My breathing became heavier. “I don't like that." I stepped back and away a little, my stomach rolling. "Nope. Babies are meant to be soft and fluffy. Teen's not having a demon baby." I held the wall for support, panting. "I'm in bad shape over here. You just keep doing what you're doing, Princess. I'll be right there." I doubled over, breathing deep and trying not to pass out.



Scar snapped at me from beside Teeny, “Get your shit together. You got her here. Now pull up your lace panties and help her.”



Teeny grunted and pushed again. I took a tentative step forward to see the doctor pulling and yanking at my kid’s shoulders. Teeny's bits looked like they might tear in half. I winced, "That's gotta hurt."



The sight of her vagina stretched so much made me want to cry or stomp my foot or something, just to show my distress. Perhaps, I’d have a meltdown.



The doctor pulled again. ”Oh God, it's not a rubber band. It ain't meant to go like that! Put it back! Put it back!" I was sounding hysterical. At that point, Teeny and Scar both yelled at me to shut up.



I fisted my glove-covered hands against my temples finally, reaching freak-out mode. Mace may have been smart to sit this one out. I was sure that I had just witnessed what was the equivalent of watching your favorite bar burn down.



"Okay, Daddy, this bit I need your help with, you ready?" the doctor calmly asked.



"Yeah," I forced out ignoring my brain screaming NO FUCKING WAY. Doctor Wood grabbed my hands pulling me into place.



"Okay, ready one more big push, Teeny, and go." She moved my hands, and as Teen pushed, the doctor moved my hands with hers. We moved the baby's shoulders this way and that, followed by a gush of more blood and gross shit that I didn't even notice because in my hands was our baby. Our tiny little baby.



“Holy shit,” I whispered, emotion clogging my throat.



The doctor put a plastic squeezy-thing in its mouth and nose, and then it screamed. Loud. My nose burned, my throat constricted and a tear fell down my face. I was holding a part of us. I did this. I helped make this tiny little perfect person, and it might be the only good thing I’d done in my life.



"Congrats, Daddy. You have a son."



A son.



My son.



Oh God.



I have a son.



Shit just got real.



I smiled down at my little boy. "Hey, little buddy, what's your name?"



Shit.



Looking up at Teeny, I asked, “What's his name, baby?”



With a tired smile, she hoarsely whispered, “Javier. Javier Hector Torres. “



“He’s fucking perfect.” My vision blurred as I looked down at a real-life miracle.



The nurse put a hand on my shoulder. “I’m just going to clean him up and wrap him now, okay.” My eyes flickered from Teeny to the nurse, and back to baby Javier, before reluctantly handing him over to her. I followed a step behind, not taking my eyes off my son.



They put him on some kind of machine and wrote down a few numbers, measured him head to toe before wiping him down and wrapping him in a blue blanket. They popped a tiny knit beanie on his head and handed him back to me.



I immediately took the beanie off and handed it back to the nurse, reaching into my back pocket I pulled the tiny white beanie with black print and slid it onto his head; it was an exact replica of the one I wore. “I knew you were gonna be a boy,” I whispered to my little man.



“He looks like you,” Scar said quietly looking over my shoulder. “You did good, honey. I’m gonna go out and let Mace know. Give you two a minute.” A kiss on my cheek and she was gone leaving me alone with my family. I made my way carefully over to Teeny taking small careful steps so as not to jostle the little bundle in my arms. She’d been somewhat cleaned up and was sitting up in the bed watching us with tears in her eyes.



“Don’t cry, Princess. Look what we did. Look at him.” I placed Javier in her arms and leaned down kissing her softly on the lips.



“Thank you. For him, for you. Thank you for giving me a family of my own.” I wiped the lone tear rolling down her cheek with my thumb, and kissed her once more before moving back a step to watch the two most important people in my life.



The two people that would forever consume my entire being.



Chapter Twenty–Five



Trip



“Yes,” she whispered softly, her warm breath tickling my lips.



“Huh?” I mumbled sleepily. It was a few hours after the most precious thing I’d ever held arrived, and we were laying face-to-face on the tiny hospital bed. Javier sleeping in a cot beside us.