Conflicted Love

“Yes, I want to be your wife,” she told me, her breathing hitching on the last word. My world stopped. I stared. I blinked.



“Best. Day. Ever,” I muttered placing soft kisses on her lips between every word. I pulled her face to mine, crushed my lips down on hers and proceeded to kiss the ever-loving shit out of her.



“You sure?” I asked breathless and completely terrified she’d tell me it was a big fat fucking joke.



“You trying to change my mind?” she yawned. I let out the breath I hadn’t realized I was holding and snaked my arm over her hip.



“Best. Day. Ever.” That was all I could say. It was the truth.



Teeny



“Quit pouting,” I snickered walking up the front walkway and unlocking the door.



Trip walked in after me carrying a sleeping Javier in his baby seat. “Six weeks. That doctor lady said six-freaking-weeks. What am I supposed to do for six weeks?” he sulked.



“Your hand,” I said pointedly and moved to unclip the baby carrier belt. Trip merely scowled and quickly slipped Javier out of the seat and up onto his chest. He walked away with an indignant sniff and a tender hand on our son’s tiny back.



My heart melted as I watched Trip whispering to Javier. I spun my engagement ring around on my finger as realization hit me.



I had a family.



For the first time in my life, I had a family that I cared about, that cared about me and I was very okay with that. I slowly followed after the boys straining my ears to hear Trip’s sweetly whispered words; there wasn’t anything more moving than a father bonding with his child; it had the ability to take the breath right out of a person’s lungs.



“Mommy’s going to have a nap, and you and I, we’re gonna hang out,” Trip said in a gentle voice. “How ‘bout we watch a game? You can have your bottle.” Trip held onto the bottle of breast milk. “And I’ll have my bottle.” He reached forward and picked up his bottle of beer. At my giggle, his head came up, a gorgeous smile covering his face. It slipped for a second replaced by a tiny frown. “Is that allowed? I’m allowed to do that, right?”



I just shook my head and shuffled up to my boys dropping a small kiss on Javier’s head followed by a peck to Trip’s lips. “A beer while you two hang out won’t hurt. You don’t have to ask me if you’re doing every little thing right. He’s your son too. You know as much as I do, honey.” His eyebrows knitted together, the light shining in through the kitchen window catching on his eyebrow piercing.



“What if I do something dads aren’t supposed to do? Like not check his diaper enough or forget to feed him, or not burp him? I might teach him the wrong things and mess him up, and then he’ll hate me for being a screw up of a dad.” It was cute when he rambled but this; this was adorable. All the things I assumed about Trip in the beginning were so far from the truth; it was ridiculous. I always hoped under his playboy ways he was something else, but this? No, it never crossed my mind. He went on, “Then, he’ll start cussing at home, skipping school and get in with a bad crowd. I’ll tell him to grow up and he’ll tell me he hates me. He’ll go out one night and skip town.” Looking terrified at his own mind’s story, he adds, “Then we’ll be the sobbing parents on the news begging their kid to come home. You’ll be all sniffles and tissues, and I’ll be the dad who tries to put on a tough face but…” He looks up at me through wide-eyes, “…my chin will wobble. I’ll be the wobbling chin dude. People will remember me as the wobbling chin guy on the news who fucked up his son by not changing his diaper on time.”



I blinked at my future husband.



What the hell is he on?



“You’re fine. You’ll do fine. If you get worried or you need me, come and get me.” I leaned in and kissed him gently as I turned and made my way up the steps.



I heard him grumble, “Six-freakin’-weeks. I’m gonna explode in one.”



After my shower, I’d slid into bed and passed out for what felt like only minutes. When I opened my eyes again, Trip was lying beside me with Javier wrapped in a blue bunny rug in-between us. His eyes were wide and taking everything in. No words were said. Trip just glanced down at our little guy and back up smiling a blinding happy smile at me. His hand reached out and he brushed his thumb across my cheekbone before cupping my face. The love and adoration he felt consumed me as I brought my hand up to cover his. I was right where I was supposed to be and nothing could top this.



“Were you watching me sleep?” I asked, my voice still husky from sleep.



“Yeah, you were drooling.” My eyes widened in horror. He grinned, “It was cute.”



I might not have been the prettiest girl in the world or even the smartest, but I was the girl he'd given his heart to, the promise of his name to, but most importantly, I was the girl he’d given his entire world to.



And I would give him mine.



I would be the wife he deserved. I would be the mother Javier would love freely. I would remind myself daily of the love surrounding me. And in return, Trip would hold my heart forever. Whether he knew it or not



So much had happened over such a short time. I didn’t quite remember all the details, but I remembered the small things.



Trip wanting me.



Trip protecting me.



Trip fighting for me.



A smile graced my lips and I wondered how I’d gotten so lucky.



I had won the boyfriend lottery.



And I wasn’t letting him go. Not ever.



Chapter Twenty–Six



Trip



“Oh, come on, buddy.” I grabbed the burp rag and wiped at my bare shoulder where the spit-up had landed. “Now we both smell like puke.” Javier wiggled in the crook of my arm for a few seconds before his eyes fluttered shut and he was asleep. I leaned back in the rocking chair and just took a second to relax; I’d gotten up with him for his four am feed seeing as Teeny was so worn out.



Our little dude was fairly mellow. He ate. He slept. He crapped, but on the rare occasion he decided he wasn’t happy, nobody else was either. I think that mostly had to do with the fact that he was a lot like his momma. Prefect would be the only word to describe him, just perfect.



It astounded me that one night could have such a butterfly effect. I’d caved to my selfish wants and taken a friend to bed knowing full well it would change our relationship, but not a having a clue it would be the best change my life had ever seen. As a result, I had a family of my own and a million and one reasons to smile.



“I’m gonna make you and mommy real happy, little dude,” I whispered against the soft fluffy hair on Javier’s head. My tattooed hand on his tiny back was a contrast to say the least; he was so damn tiny and fragile. I was forever worried I’d break him. He was definitely lavished with enough attention though. The moment he made a noise, somebody was cuddling him, and surprisingly Scarlett was the worst one for it. Javier didn’t even have to cry for her to be all over him. Most times, she had him in sight for barely three seconds before he was in her arms.



“Nothing can beat this, nothing,” I murmured in the dark rocking back-and-forth in the wooden chair.



Before I knew it, the sun was up and I was still sitting in the rocking chair. Javier started to move around in his crib where I’d put him in the early hours of the morning. Don’t ask what possessed me to stay there all night, but I was always glad when I did. Seeing him waking up in the morning opening his sweet blue eyes and taking in the world around him, was now one of my favorite pastimes.



I pulled him up to my chest and shuffled over to the change table. Snatching up a diaper, I set to work on our morning routine hoping to let Teen sleep a bit longer.



“You slept like a rock, little man. Not a peep outta you. You must have been tired, huh?” Unclipping his onesie, I got rid of the wet diaper and started putting a fresh one on, when without warning, a warm wet something hit my naked chest. “What the—” I sputtered taking a small step back, but keeping my hand on Javier’s stomach so he wouldn’t wriggle off the table. “Dude, you whizzed on me,” I announced incredulously.



Soft laughter drew my attention to the door where a freshly showered Teeny stood smiling and looking content. “You go shower. I’ll take care of that,” she smiled walking toward us. “Trip,” she called putting one hand on my arm to stop me walking out of the room. “I’m already more than real happy, honey.” It occurred to me she’d been listening in to me rambling with Javier last night. “Baby monitor was on.” She nodded her head to the device sitting in the corner of the room. “You already make me more than happy.” I leaned down and kissed the top of her head taking a deep breath to catch the soft vanilla smell that always surrounded her. The smell that never failed to remind me I was home.



Epilogue



Teeny



Seven months later…



“What?” Scarlett all but screamed, her face turning a pretty shade of red. “The boys are going to flip their shit.” With a wince she added, “Fully flip their shit. Someone might end up deformed and or dead.”



“Oh, I know,” I sighed. She was right. Both Mace and Trip were going to lose it in a bad way. “I had a clue what was going on for a while now, but I’m not sure what to do about it.” I flicked my eyes over at the clock; the boys would be back any minute, so we had to wrap this up quickly. “She’s an adult. She can make her own choices.” I pointed out. Scarlett nodded with a vacant look to her eyes. I was almost certain there were a million different scenarios playing out in her head and all of them ended with injury.



“Maybe we should talk to her? Make sure she knows how pissed they’ll be?” I was betting Haven already knew the score there, so I just shook my head and flicked the baby monitor on. Haven had just volunteered to put Javier down for a sleep and I liked to keep an ear out just in case. “How long though?” Scarlett asked still looking worried.



“You know the night of your bachelorette thing we had here?” She nodded so I kept going, “Well, one of the questions that night was ‘have you had sex on a Harley’…” I trailed off letting her figure the rest out. She frowned, still not understanding. “I drank. Haven drank. Jude owns a Harley and—”



“Shit!” was Scarlett’s mumbled reply when she pieced it together. Just as she was about to say something else, the front door burst open and three sexy-as-sin guys strolled on in, followed by two handsome little guys. Trip’s eyes met mine, and the second they did, a bright smile lit up his face. It was unbelievable how happy he made me and vice versa. We fought. Oh boy did we fight. It was childish the things we did bicker about. He’d shout. I’d bitch; we’d purposely piss each other off and then make up like the world was about to end. Those were some of my favorite times too. Nothing beat make-up sex with Trip. Nothing.



Mace made a beeline for Scar and Jude’s twin boys ran past us right out the back door to the massive tree house in the yard. Jude hung back closing the front door, his eyes darting around the room. He nodded to Scar and me and then excused himself to go to the bathroom.