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Playing Dirty (Sydney Smoke Rugby) by Amy Andrews (20)

Glossary

I’ve probably used some words in here that some readers may not know—both rugby ones and strange Aussie-isms alike. So I thought a handy dandy glossary might help. It is, of course, written entirely from my perspective so is heavily biased, female-centric, and quite possibly dodgy. It probably wouldn’t stand up to any kind of official scrutiny…

Footy–We love this term in Australia. The confusing thing for most non-Aussies is they never know which game it refers to because we have three separate but distinct codes of football in Australia:

1. Rugby League (Jarryd Hayne played this code before he went and played Gridiron).

2. Rugby union–The code the Sydney Smoke play and the one this series is based upon (Jarryd Hayne tried his hand at this code for a bit after the whole Gridiron things didn’t work out but is now back playing League).

3. Aussie rules football–Different altogether. Tall, fit guys in really tight shorts.

There is also soccer but we don’t really think of that as football in the traditional sense here in Australia.

The confusing thing is we refer to all of them as the footy, e.g. “Wanna go to the footy, Davo?” And somehow we all seem to know which code is being referred to at any given time. Even more confusing, the ball that is used in each code is often also called the footy, e.g. “Chuck me the footy, Gazza.”

Pitch–Apparently the rugby field is called a pitch but colloquially here we just call it the footy (see, I told you we liked that term) field. A pitch is more a cricket term. No, don’t worry, I won’t ever try to explain a game that lasts five days to you…

Ruck–No, not a typo. That’s ruck with an R, ladies! Happens after a tackle as each team tries to gain possession of the ball.

Line-out–That weird thing they use to restart play where each team lines up side by side, vertical to the sideline, and one of the guys throws the ball to his team and a few of the guys from that team bodily lift one dude up to snatch the ball out of the air. It’s like rugby ballet. Minus the tutus. And usually with more blood.

Scrum–Another way to gain possession of the ball. I’m going to paraphrase several definitions I’ve read: A scrum is when two groups of opposing players pack loosely together, arms interlocked, heads down, jockeying for the ball that is fed into the scrum along the ground. It’s like a tug of war with no rope and more body contact or, as I like to call it, a great big man hug with a lot of dudes lying on top of each other at the end of it all. Very homoerotic. Win/win.

Maul–The good kind. It’s when at least three rugby players from either side—one with the ball—are in contact together to challenge possession. Yes, another man hug! Sounds positively delicious, doesn’t it?

Try–A goal. Except in rugby union we don’t say someone scored a goal, we say someone scored a try after they’ve dived for the line and a bunch of other guys have jumped on top to try and stop it from happening. Very homoerotic. Win/win. A try is worth five points.

WAGs–Wives and girlfriends. These are partners of the dudes that play rugby. Although we also use the term here in Oz to refer to partners of our cricket players. I think in the UK WAGs is also a term used for football (soccer) partners.

Akubra–An iconic Australian brand of hat worn by country guys and gals. Vaguely similar to the Stetson but I’ll probably have my nationality revoked for saying so! It has a distinctive shape that’s about as Aussie as vegemite.

Arvo–In that long tradition of shortening everything and sticking an o on the end, this is Aussie for afternoon, eg. “Hey Robbo, whatcha doin’ this arvo?”

Wank–To wank is to masturbate. Pretty much always referring to a guy. Although we embrace all terms for this biological process. Jerking/jacking/tossing off are well known, as are spanking the monkey and choking the chicken (or chook as we say here). There’s also the term wanker which is actually rarely used to describe one who wanks. We much prefer to use this as an insult for someone who is a bit of a jerk, eg. “That Johnno is a wanker.”

Boardies–Shortened (of course) from board shorts, the knee-length shorts worn to the beach by blokes, although women wear them as well.

Togs–Some Aussies call swimming suits togs. No one knows why.

Starkers–Completely, utterly, 100 percent naked.

Bum bag–Known as fanny packs in the USA. But a fanny here in Australia is a “front bottom” on a woman and none of us can keep a straight face calling them that…

Hard yakka–Yakka is work. So, any job that’s heavy or difficult or requires muscle is hard yakka. Also a rugged brand of clothing designed to survive said yakka.

Cattle station/property–A farm or a ranch where cattle (and sheep) are raised. Usually has to be a big ass property to be considered a station. When someone’s taking a betting game too serious here, we’ll often say, “Come on, Richo, we’re not playing for sheep stations.”

Woop woop–Out in the middle of bloody nowhere. Usually where you can find most cattle stations!

Out past the black stump–another way of saying woop woop. No, nobody knows where the black stump is exactly.…

Jackaroo–a station hand on farm/station/property. In other words, an Aussie cowboy. Yeehaw!

Softdrink–this is what we call a soda. Soft refers to it being non-alcoholic/wussy.

Ute–Short (just for something different) for utility vehicle. Similar to the pickup.

Fair dinkum–Slang for something that is true or genuine. “Fair dinkum, mate, that bloody cattle station out woop woop got six inches of rain last night.”

Cooee–An Aussie bush call used to attract attention. Or a way of describing how near or far something is. “I was within bloody cooee of Bazza.” Or “I wasn’t in bloody cooee of Bazza.”

Yobbo–An uncouth individual. Or Aussie for dickhead.

Dill–an affectionate term for a fool/idiot. “Don’t mind Robbo, he’s a bit of a dill.”

Trackie daks–trackie refers to a tracksuit and daks refers to trousers. So these are tracksuit bottoms. Generally not the most sophisticated choice of clothing, usually just something to slop around the house in. Loved by authors all over this big brown land!

Dag/daggy–a dag actually refers to the matted wool around a sheep’s ass but we also apply it to people, usually affectionately. A person can be “a dag” which means someone who’s funny but not very hip or fashionable. And you can “look daggy” by wearing your oldest/ill fitting/ill-kept/out-of-fashion clothes (trackie daks is a classic example) and generally just not really care about how you look.

Ranga–this is an affectionate term for a person with red hair. It has its roots (snorkel!) in the word orangutan, those ranga apes of the jungle.

Bogan–this is Aussie for redneck.

Tinnies–these are the cans that beer comes in, usually downed in huge quantities by Aussie bogans.

Slammer–the clink, the jail, the big house. If you’re in the slammer, you’d better look good in an orange jumpsuit.

Swagman–an old fashioned term for an itinerate man who wandered around and camped out in the bush with his swag (bedroll) They weren’t often jolly as described in the famous Waltzing Matilda song but probably a few of them did camp by billabongs. And possibly stole sheep…

Squicky–something that’s icky and grosses you out (as we say here).

Biscuit (or bikkie for short)–this does not refer to the biscuit that US readers eat with gravy. This is Aussie for cookie. Nomnom.