Searching for my dad ends up being a bust.

After driving around for over an hour, I give up and return to the house, convinced he must have left town or something. The area is too small not to be able to find him, and from what I could tell, I looked practically everywhere, except for in the hills.

By the time I pull up into the driveway, it’s late and everyone is getting grumpy. I decide to break in through a cracked open window since we can’t afford to crash in a hotel.

Once we get all our stuff inside, we dig out some sleeping bags and set them up on the dusty brown carpet of the living room.

“This is by far the worst move ever,” Bailey mutters as she wiggles around in her sleeping bag, trying to get comfortable.

Payton sneezes from all the dust floating around. She has her flashlight app on, giving us a bit of light since the place doesn’t have the power turned on yet, even though I called and had it scheduled to turn on. It’s too late to get it taken care of now.

“I don’t know,” she says, rubbing her nose. “Move six was pretty bad.”

I fluff my pillow then lie down. “Was that the one where the toilet flooded the basement two days after we moved in?”

“Yep.” Payton sneezes again, her eyes watering. “Everything smelled like moldy shit for a month.”

“Move five was pretty bad, too,” Londyn says as she slips into her sleeping bag that’s beside mine.

“Which one was that?” I ask, setting an alarm on my phone so we can get up bright and early and figure out what to do about our situation.

“The one with the rat’s nest in the attic.” Londyn rolls to her side, facing me. “Honestly, none of them have been that great.”

“Yeah, I know.” I wiggle around, trying to get situated on the thin carpet.

I did a quick walk through when we got in and discovered that only half the rooms have carpet, the other half have linoleum flooring. The kitchen is bigger than what we’re normally used to, but it doesn’t have a microwave or dishwasher, and there’s only one bathroom.

“At least we have a roof over our heads,” I attempt optimism.

“One day, I’m afraid we won’t,” Bailey mumbles, curling up into a ball and pulling the sleeping bag over her head.

“That will never happen,” I assure her, reaching over Payton to give her shoulder a squeeze. “I won’t let it.”

“You won’t always be here,” Bailey whispers. “You have one more year left of high school, and then you’re going to take off to college and we’re going to be stuck here with Dad.”

Guilt tightens my chest. I want to tell her everything will be okay, but the words won’t leave my lips. The truth is, I have no idea what will happen once I pack up my stuff and take off for college. I haven’t really thought about it too much, never allowed myself to think about it. But deep down, I know the change is going to affect them big time and that makes me feel guilty.

“Stop worrying. I can handle things,” Londyn reassures me as if reading my mind.

“I’m not worrying,” I lie. “Well, not about that.”

“Then, what are you worrying about?”

“Where Dad is, the power getting turned on, getting ahold of the landlord.”

“So, the usual things.”

“Yep.”

Silence encases us, except for the soft sound of music floating from somewhere outside.

“Do you think we’ll ever stop moving?” Payton wonders. “I mean, while we’re living with Dad?”

I want to tell her yes, but I can’t bring myself to lie to her. “I’m not sure.”

Sadly, I can’t envision our dad suddenly becoming responsible again and taking care of the bills in a timely manner so we won’t get evicted. And honestly, in the back of my mind, where my imagination sometimes runs crazy, I wonder if perhaps our dad does it on purpose. That he moves us around so frequently because he’s running away from something.

“Night,” I whisper to my sisters as Payton turns off her phone. “Love you.”

“Love you, too,” Londyn mutters sleepily.

“Love all your crazy asses,” Bailey mutters through a yawn.

“Love you guys, too.” Payton sneezes. “I don’t love this fucking dust, though.”

“We’ll clean it up tomorrow.” I roll over to my side.

No one says anything more, and a handful of moments later, Payton starts snoring.

As my eyelids start to grow heavy, I swear I hear a thump from either in the house or just outside.

On edge, I turn on my flashlight app, climb out of the sleeping bag, and do a quick search of the house, but I stumble across nothing. And it’s too dark outside to see much of anything.

Giving up, I climb back into my sleeping bag, and it ends up taking me half the night before my eyelids lower shut again.