Chapter 5
Kate
I am so in over my head.
That kiss.
Ohmygoodness, that kiss!
I’ve never been kissed like that. Not even on our (fake—I need to remember it was fake) wedding day. And that kiss was something to remember.
But it was nothing like today. Nothing.
I swear every part of my body was on fire. And my heart…it was racing completely out of control.
Is that even normal, what I felt? Is any of this normal?
It was just like I read in those books. Exactly like that. But I was sure those stories were total fiction.
Am I…could I be…falling in love? Like the characters in those stories? Is that kind of love real?
Locked in a bedroom, I plop onto the bed and suck in some air. My head feels funny. I’m jittery. And hot. Even though my clothes are all dripping wet. And down there, in my center, I feel tight and warm. When I think about Reid my heart skips a beat. I feel it.
I think I am. I think I’m falling in love. With a complete stranger. An English stranger. Who married me for money.
You see? I’m in over my head.
I should leave. Now. I should call this whole thing off and go back to Ruth’s house. At Ruth’s house I was safe. I wasn’t scared. Much. I didn’t feel overwhelmed. Much. At least, I wasn’t as scared once she convinced me I wasn’t alone, that I had a new family. A family that would support me while I went to school. And help me find my way in this strange world.
Yes. Safe. I was safe at Ruth’s.
For that matter, I was safe at home, too. With my mother and father.
But I was also…restless. Even at Ruth’s.
I wasn’t ready to admit it then but I can now, I was looking for more. I didn’t want to be only safe. If safe had been good enough, I never would have left home in the first place.
No, left everything, my home and family, because I wanted more than safety. I wanted to be happy. I wanted to break free and chase every opportunity that came my way.
I wanted to dream big and live big.
Here I am, doing just that.
Living B. I. G.
Just like I wanted.
But where am I now?
I’m locked in a bedroom, contemplating running away.
Running away from the show.
Running away from Reid. And all the crazy and wonderful things he makes me feel.
Running away.
That’s not me. I don’t run when I’m afraid.
These new feelings are terrifying. I don’t understand what’s happening. I don’t know what’s real and what’s pretend. All of those things are scary.
But I can’t let my fear ruin this for me.
No, I won’t.
When I married Reid, we did not file a marriage license. We signed a contract. And that contract said ours was not a legal marriage in the eyes of the English government.
But I said real vows. I made a real promise. And I sealed that promise with a real kiss.
In my heart I’m married to that man out there, movie star or not. I’m his wife, television show or not.
A knock sounds on the door.
It’s him. It has to be.
I’m so embarrassed.
My face warms as I tiptoe to the door and open it.
“Hi,” he says.
“Hi.” I step aside to let him in. There’s no film crew behind him. They haven’t arrived yet. It’s just the two of us still. Thank goodness.
He sits on the bed and pats the mattress. “I think we need to talk.”
I sit beside him and stare at my hands, clasped in my lap, resting on my soggy pants. Side note: I don’t know where my bags are with my dry clothes. They were supposed to be delivered to us.
Oh gosh! My shirt is completely see through. I grab the edge of the bedspread and yank it up, wrapping it around myself.
“I’m sorry,” he says. “For dunking you in the pool.”
Staring down, at my thighs, I shrug. “It’s okay.”
He pinches my chin and lifts it. “Kate, are you all right?”
My gaze finds his and more of those little skittery-prickly-hot sensations zing through my body. “Yes.” I smile and nod, hoping to hide my embarrassment. “I’m fine. It was…” I press my fingers to my mouth. My lips are still tingling from that kiss. I wonder if they’ll ever stop. I wonder if I’ll ever get used to any of this. “Like I said before, it’s a lot to take in.”
“I get it.”
“Do you?”
He nods.
Then he scowls.
Then he shakes his head.
“No. Actually. I probably don’t,” he admits. “But I’m trying to understand.”
“I know.” I drag my fingertip across my lip again. It’s still tingling.
“You keep touching your mouth. Did the kiss upset you?”
“I…” I hesitate. I want to be honest with him. I think it’s important. But by now he has to be tired of hearing me talk about how strange everything is. “I’ve never seen anyone kiss like that.”
“That’s how a husband kisses a wife. At least, for…’English’ husbands and wives. Was it terrible?”
My insides quiver. That’s how a husband kisses a wife? Does that mean Reid believes our marriage is real too? Feeling a blush blooming on my face, I drop my gaze again and shake my head. “No. Not terrible.”
He grins, and those quivers get a thousand times worse. “That’s a relief. I had my doubts, when you ran away. You didn’t hate it, then?”
“No. I didn’t hate it,” I tell my thighs, too embarrassed to look him in the eyes.
He leans closer. I can smell his sweet breath. And his soap, at least I think it’s his soap. It’s masculine and yet very nice. “Did you like it? Kate?”
I feel my cheeks burn even hotter.
“You did.” He cups one of my flaming cheeks. “Look at you, blushing so sweetly. I like it. Will you let me kiss you again?”
“Kiss me?” I whisper. The air is instantly sucked from the room. “When?” I wheeze.
“Now?” Still touching my cheek, he tips his head toward me. “Will you let me kiss you now? Like a husband kisses a wife?”
The first word that pops to my head is yes. But I can’t speak.
I can’t breathe.
I can’t even think.
His mouth seals over mine again and the world does a giant swoop. Then it does a few loop-the-loops. I have no choice but to grab his shirt and hold onto him.
This kiss is just like the one in the swimming pool. It’s gentle and oh, so seductive. And it makes my insides clench and my blood simmer and my heart get all pitter-pattery. Those sensations are powerful, and strange but this time I don’t let them scare me. I relax. I enjoy. I relish his soft mouth on mine, his hand cupping my face, holding me in place.
Just as I’m getting accustomed to my out-of-control heart rate, he leaves my mouth, sprinkling little soft kisses along my jaw. When he reaches the ticklish spot on my neck, I shiver. Goose bumps burn. My skin tingles.
Oh my, if I’d known kissing could feel like this I might have tried it years ago.
Maybe.
Maybe not.
The hand not cradling my face glides up my side. I become aware, as it moves, that it’s getting closer and closer to my breast. Nobody has ever touched me there. Is that what he intends?
It’s moving higher.
Higher.
It’s…
Ohmygoodness!
I startle as his thumb grazes my nipple through my clothes, and Reid stops. He leans his head forward so his forehead is resting against mine. He’s breathing fast. And heavy. Like he’s just chased a runaway hog. Then again, so am I. Breathing fast and hard.
I’m hot. Very hot.
I think I need another swim. In a pool full of ice water.
“I’m going to die,” he mutters.
I shift back and gulp in some air. He’s going to die? I’m going to die first. I think my heart might explode. It’s pounding so hard I hear it in my ears.
“Do you have any idea how hard it is to stop kissing you?”
“No,” I admit. Kissing Reid is, I’m quickly learning, a wicked thrill. But I didn’t know he felt the same. After all, hasn’t he kissed a lot of women? And I can’t be the best kisser.
“I’m glad the crew isn’t here yet. Nobody has seen that kiss. It’s our secret.” His lips curve into a crooked smile, and my thumping heart thumps even harder. “I’m selfish. I want to keep these moments private.”
Agreeing, I nod. A part of me reasons if these kisses aren’t for the camera, then maybe they are genuine. Maybe my husband is falling in love with me like I’m falling for him.
Maybe our story will be like one of those books. Exciting. Wonderful.
Wicked.
My face burns even brighter.
“It’s late. We start work early tomorrow. You should get some sleep. I’m going to find an empty bedroom for tonight.” He stands and stares down at me. “You feel safe with me, don’t you?” he asks. “I want you to know I will protect you. From them. From anyone who tries to do anything to hurt you. Can you trust me?”
I feel my lips curving into a smile. “Yes,” I say, “I think I can trust you.”
Actually, I think I can love you.
“Good. Then sweet dreams, Mrs. Carter.” He gently strokes my cheek and those little buzzing zaps burn through me. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
Sweet dreams indeed.