CHAPTER 3
LUCKY
This.
This is what I needed.
A man. The wind in my hair, or at least the ends of it, since Ziggy’s helmet was holding the rest of it down. Two sizes too big, it wobbled on my head, making me feel like a bobble-head figure as his bike carried us up and down the steep hills that led through downtown and over to the Sound.
By the time we made it to the water, I’d almost forgotten who I was. Almost.
Sure, Becky’s nagging voice kept sounding in my head, but I pushed it away. I’d have to listen to her later, but it didn’t matter.
This was worth it.
Ziggy’s strong grip guided the bike around a curved road along the edge of the shore, the natural beauty of the islands sprinkled around Seattle concealed under a blanket of darkness. Tomorrow morning, they’d appear like lush little gems offered by the deep blue sea waters, a gift to the rising sun. But tonight, they were hidden, save a few twinkling lights that might as well have been stars sprinkled in the distance.
Even though the rain had let up, the air was thick with condensation, the fishy smell now mixed with the musky scent of wet earth and soaked trees. The cold clung to our bodies as we cut through the misty fog, a sole headlight illuminating our path. As wild as this was, something deep inside of me told me I was safe.
Maybe it was the way Ziggy had defended me.
Hell, maybe it was the way he’d kissed me.
Perhaps the strength and ease with which he handled this huge, roaring machine between our legs was a contributing factor, as well.
But whatever it was, it was enough that I felt myself breathe easy for the first time in a very long time.
I wasn’t thinking about Nicholai.
I wasn’t thinking about the tour, or the music, or the crew.
Surprisingly, I wasn’t even thinking about Eddie.
For once, I was in the moment.
After all that had happened, after everything I’d gone through, I finally felt alive. I held on tightly, comforted by Ziggy’s warmth. For an hour or so, we rode through the city, a silent retreat from reality, the rhythmic call of the water lulling me into a peaceful bliss.
After a while, he turned away from the shore, leading us back through downtown until he parked under the deserted Space Needle. He cut the engine and turned around, waiting until I pulled the helmet off. I shook out my tangled hair and smiled at him.
“That was beautiful, thank you so much,” I said. I knew I was beaming. I knew my every emotion was plastered on my face and I was leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination, but I didn’t care one bit about that.
“Have you been up to see the view?” he asked, gesturing to the huge tower behind him.
“No, but I’m pretty sure it’s closed. What time is it, anyway?” I’d lost all track of time and responsibility, eagerly leaving all thoughts of those horrid things behind.
“I know a guy,” he winked, grabbing my hand and leading me towards the entrance. We stood outside and he knocked gingerly on the window, waving at the security guard inside. The guard smiled and walked over and opened the doors.
“Ziggy, what are you doing here, brother? I thought you were going home.”
“Tomorrow, Paulie. Thought I’d see the sights. How are the kids?”
The guy didn’t answer. I don’t even know if he heard him. Instead, he took one look at me and froze.
“You’re Lucky Lazzarini!” he bellowed.
I held out my hand and shook his, smiling.
“I am, nice to meet you,” I nodded.
“Ziggy, what the hell?” he asked, turning back to a sheepish looking Ziggy, who refused to meet my eye. “I didn’t know you knew Lucky Lazzarini, dude!”
“We just met,” he said. “I was hoping we could take in the view for a few minutes, Paulie. Is that okay?”
“Is that okay?” he cried, his eyes still glued to me. “Of course it is! Come in! Come in! Ma’am, can I please get your autograph for my daughter?”
“Paulie is my brother-in-law,” Ziggy explained, finally meeting my eye.
Paulie shoved a piece of paper and a pen my way and quickly, I scribbled my name down.
“And a selfie, too?” he asked, holding his phone up and snapping a phot o of us.
“Paulie, come on!” Ziggy laughed.
“Sorry, thank you,” he said, ushering us into an elevator. “Take as much time as you want. You have the whole place to yourselves. The bar and restaurant are closed, but I can have them open back up for you, if you’d like?”
“No!” I said, shaking my head. “That won’t be necessary. Thank you.”
“Of course! Let me know if you change your mind.”
The elevator doors closed and I glanced over at Ziggy.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you who I was.”
“That’s okay,” he said, shrugging. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I knew who you were.”
“You knew?” I asked, punching his arm playfully.
“Yep. From the moment you looked across the bar at me.”
“I thought I had you fooled.”
“You can’t fool anyone with an ass like yours, Lucky.”
I hit him again and we laughed as the doors opened with a swoosh. We walked out and through some glass doors, the thick cold wind hitting us immediately. Ziggy put his arm around me, leading me around the mezzanine as we stared out at the lights of the city.
“This is incredible,” I whispered, leaning into him. “Cold, but beautiful. I never get to do stuff like this.”
“Why not?”
“I’m always on tour and being whisked away from one venue to the next. Then, there’s rehearsals. And costume fittings. And signings. And VIP meet and greets. It’s never-ending.”
“Well, you’re here now,” he said, stopping and pulling me into his arms. “I guess I can understand why you’d want to pretend to be someone else.”
“It’s refreshing,” I said. “Pretending my life is simple. Thanks for playing along, even if you were acting.”
He smiled down at me, all handsome and hunky in the moonlight that was finally breaking through the clouds above.
He peered into my eyes, serious and sensual, my heart skipping a beat as he held my gaze.
“How about we start over?” he asked, his voice low and thick with unmistakeable desire. “And this time, I mean it.”
He bent his head, his lips landing on mine with the gentleness of a butterfly. Slow and easy, his kiss began quietly, sweetly, until the sparks between us ignited, the desire between us turning to a low, simmering wave of lust. I kissed him back, hard, urgently, my body pressing against him with every ounce of the unbridled need that was ricocheting through my body.
His arms wrapped around me, pulling me close as he growled into my mouth, his tongue finding mine, searching for the same closeness I was yearning for. The cold fog drifted around us as I lost myself in his embrace, the warmth of his kiss, his painfully sweet offer of escape.
After a few long moments, he pulled away, shuddering — either from the cold or the kiss, I didn’t know, but I didn’t care. Kissing Ziggy had awakened something inside of me and I knew it wouldn’t rest until I had everything I wanted from him.
Just not here.
“We should go,” I whispered. “They probably have cameras all over this place.”
“Cameras?”
“Do you know how much TMZ would pay for footage of me making out with someone?”
“Oh, right,” he said, nodding.
“Let’s go to my hotel,” I said, grabbing his hand and heading back to the elevators.
“Wow, you don’t mess around.”
I turned back to him, my eyes flashing with impatience. I wanted to rip his clothes off and I wanted to do that now. I wanted to forget about the grief that had been suffocating me since I lost Eddie. I wanted to forget the pain Nicholai had caused me.
I wanted someone to look at me that didn’t know what I’d gone through. Someone who just saw a woman, not a broken one, not one bathed in tragedy. Just me - without all the baggage that I couldn’t seem to put down — until now, until that kiss.
“Do you need me to play games?” I asked.
A surprised smile spread across his handsome face, but he shook his head slowly.
“Nope.”
“Good,” I quipped, spinning away on my heels.
He kissed me again in the elevator and by the time the doors opened on the bottom floor, my lips were throbbing with the heat of his kisses. After bidding a hasty goodbye to his brother-in-law, we jumped back on the bike and rushed back to my hotel, the roar of his engine echoing off the tall buildings.
“This may be ugly at first,” I said, as we made our way to the front door, after we’d parked.
“What do you mean?” he asked, his warm hand holding mine.
“You’ll see. Just don’t say anything and keep your head down. Don’t answer any questions and stay close to me.”
“Jesus, what the hell?”
“You’ll see. I apologize in advance,” I said, as the doorman opened the door. We walked into the lobby of the Four Seasons and were immediately rushed by Becky and three hotel security guards.
“Where the hell have you been?” Becky demanded. “You went out alone, again, Lucky! You could have been killed!”
“I’m fine,” I insisted.
“How could you?” she cried, her voice a high, nasally whine. “You had us all worried sick!”
“I’m fine!” I repeated.
“I told you never to do this again, Lucky! I called Barry and he’s pissed.” Barry is the new head of the record label. I’ve met him once, but he seems to think he can control me from behind his fancy desk in Hollywood. He’s wrong.
“Fuck Barry! I’m fine!” I shouted, pulling Ziggy towards the elevator bank.
“And who are you?” Becky asked, with a haughty raised eyebrow. I rolled my eyes, shaking my head.
“Don’t answer that,” I said to Ziggy. He looked completely bewildered, but he did as I’d instructed, his head down, his lips zipped shut, despite the wide-eyed questioning glances he threw my way.
“He’s my new friend,” I answered. “We’re going to my room.”
“Lucky!” Becky shouted. “You can’t just take a stranger to your room.”
“He’s not a stranger,” I insisted. “And I can do whatever the hell I want!”
“First you fire your security team, then you disappear and come back with a - a - a biker!” Becky spat that last word out like it was a hot pepper. A surge of pleasure went through me, knowing her panties were all bunched up under her perfectly pleated skirt. “This isn’t safe, Lucky!”
“Look,” I said, turning back to them as we waited for the elevator to arrive, “everything’s fine! I’m fine! Nothing bad happened. I didn’t even see Nicholai, okay? Maybe he’s taking the night off, I don’t know. But it’s all good. Just let me go to my room and I’ll see you in the morning. I won’t leave again tonight, I promise.”
“Lucky…”
“I promise! I’m sorry I kept you up so late. Just go to bed.”
They looked from me to Ziggy and back again, uncertainty written on their faces.
“Really, guys, just go,” I said. The elevator arrived with a loud ding and I sighed in relief. “See you in the morning, bright and early!”
“You have that breakfast at eight! You’re meeting the VIP’s from the record label!” Becky called out.
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll be there,” I said, as the elevator doors closed. I slumped against the wall with an audible sigh of relief.
“Wow.” The surprise in Ziggy’s voice was not surprising.
“Welcome to my circus,” I said.
“I can see why you’d want to get away from that,” he said.
“It’s a nightmare.”
“Who’s Nicholai?” He asked.
I looked over at him, wondering how much I should tell him. The less he knew the better, probably. The last thing I wanted was to see him running for the hills once he figured out just how screwed up my life was.
At least let me fuck him first, I thought.
“My ex. Ex-boyfriend. Ex-manager. He’s a bit psycho.”
“In what way?”
“Oh, you know,” I said, with a dismissive wave, “the stalker kind of psycho.”
“So you’ve got a stalker, but you fired your security team?”
The elevator dinged, opening up into the lobby of my penthouse room.
“It’s a long story,” I said, walking into the room. He followed me, his heavy footsteps falling behind me as I made my way to the bar. “Want a drink?”
“Sure,” he shrugged. “I’m not planning on driving again tonight.”
“You’re not going anywhere,” I said, winking over at him.
“Darlin, at this point, even if nothing happens between us, I’m crashing on that massive couch.”
“I don’t think you have anything to worry about,” I said, handing him a goblet of whiskey.
He drank it quickly, then asked for another. I raised a brow appreciatively.
“I never said I didn’t like to drink. Just not while I’m riding.”
“Smart.”
“Staying alive is a big priority of mine,” he shrugged.
“Mine, too,” I said.
“Apparently, your handlers think differently,” he said.
“Becky? She worries too much.”
“And Barry?”
“Head of the record label and a total bore.”
He laughed and walked over to sit down on the sofa, gesturing for me to join him. I sat next to him, my heart racing now that we were alone again. I knew nothing about this guy. I never did anything like this. Hell, I haven’t even been with anyone since I left Nicholai standing at the alter a few months ago. I just hadn’t been ready.
Now? I was definitely ready.
Ziggy’s attitude, not to mention the way his ass looked in those Levi’s, had a hell of a lot to do with that. I leaned in to kiss him and he pulled his head back.
“Wait,” he said, grabbing my hand and peering into my eyes. “Don’t get me wrong, I want to kiss you, woman. But all this talk of stalkers has me a little worried. I tend to get a little paranoid about my safety. The last thing I need is some crazed ex-boyfriend crashing through the door and putting a gun to my head while I’m ten inches deep inside of you.”
“Ten inches?” I asked, raising an appreciative eyebrow.
He shrugged confidently and I laughed.
“You have a way with words, don’t you?” I asked, shaking my head. Secretly, I liked it, the way he said whatever came to mind, no bullshit, no pretense, just blunt, direct communication.
“I don’t see much point in beating around the bush, so to speak,” he said, lifting a brow. “Now, do I need to worry about my Johnson getting blown off or not?”
“Nicholai, my ex, doesn’t work like that. He’s more on the creepy side, than the violent side, at least so far.”
“Creepy how?”
“He’s a unique guy. He has some special…skills, I would call them.”
“He’s a ninja? A former Navy SEAL?”
“Nothing like that,” I laughed. “Although, he’d make a great spy if he wasn’t such a lunatic.”
“What then?”
“He’s a master of disguise.”
“He dresses up?”
“More than that,” I shrugged. “He can impersonate anybody he wants. Man, woman, young, old. So, sometimes he pretends to be the hotel bell boy, or the girl who delivers room service. He gets off on fooling people into believing he’s someone else. He’s been doing it all his life. It’s fucking annoying, to tell you the truth.”
“So, then what does he do?”
“Mostly nothing, at least to other people. But to me? He likes to torture me. It’s stupid, really.”
“Tell me.”
“He leaves me roses. Big sprays of fragrant red roses. He smuggles them into my dressing room or my hotel room or really anywhere. Just to let me know he’s been there.”
“Why red roses?”
I sighed.
This was so complicated and tangled, telling one part of the story only led to the rest of it. And it was dark. All of it. My head spun, trying to figure out where I could cut it off before it was too much to take and I sent this sexy man running before I was done with him.
“Because our wedding was going to be decorated with nothing but red roses. It’s my favorite flower. I ended up having them all donating to an old folk’s home nearby after…well, after the wedding was canceled.”
“Canceled?” he asked, lifting a brow again. He was so damned interested he was practically sitting on the edge of his seat and drooling.
“Yeah, I canceled it. I bailed. At the last minute.”
“Oh, wow,” he said, nodding. “Cold feet?”
“Not exactly, no,” I shrugged, hesitating. This wasn’t why I’d brought him here. “Look, do you want to fuck or not?”
His eyes widened.
“Wow,” he said, nodding slowly. “Sure, I was just trying to get to know you. Didn’t mean to pry.”
“That’s not it,” I said. “I get it. I’m not normal. Everything’s fucked up. But I brought you here to get laid. That’s it. Not to tell you my life story.”
“Hey now,” he said, raising his hands, “I just wanted to make sure I didn’t get shot by your ex, that’s all.”
“I know, I’m sorry,” I replied. “I’m just on edge. And it really is a long story.”
Feeling like an idiot, I stood up, my spinning head begging for a little quiet. He was gorgeous. He was hot as fuck. But he definitely didn’t need to know every dirty piece of laundry stuffed inside of my very heavy baggage.
I walked over to the floor-length windows, looking out over downtown for a few minutes, before I turned back to him.
“I think you should leave.”